I May Be Jinxing Myself...

I hemmed and hawed about sharing this already, but I am just too darn elated to hold it in despite the worry I have that I may just be jinxing myself:

Anna is now swaddle-free.

Wohoo!

Yes, she is over 7 months old. Yes, we tried several times to wean her of the swaddle. And yes, we gave in every time after a few days. But now I am so glad we did.

You see, Anna has always been our better night sleeper. For a long time until recently, we put her to bed and didn't see her open eyes until we woke her in the morning. (Of course there were a few glitches here and there but overall- she was a superb night sleeper.) We stopped waking her to eat after Sam was fed at night pretty early for a family with twins, but we suspected that since we were always waking her up, that she could go a lot longer than her brother- and she could and she did.

When we first attempted to de-swaddle, she was sleeping basically around 12 hours straight through. We chose to go cold turkey so that (like ripping off a band aid) it may just be more painful at first, but it would be over and done with sooner instead of having long drawn out poor sleep from taking one arm out first, then the other, etc.. We never got past 3 days of torturing Anna to try to sleep without her swaddle, because instead of sleeping 12 hours in one stretch, she was waking every hour- and often waking her brother with her shrill screams too. It didn't get better, even on the third night. 3 days was all I could take of that sleep deprivation/hearing your child scream-cry torture. De-swaddling attempt #2 a month later had the same results. Because we both work, we felt that we could only attempt this beginning on the weekends, so this weekend ended up being a perfect scenario for attempt #3 because I had off of school Thursday and Friday. Two extra days could give us a head start.

Just like before, we were determined to see it through no matter what it took. I was hoping that her lack of good sleeping recently was a sign that maybe she was letting us know she was finally ready, but fully aware that that was probably wishful thinking.

And guess what- I think it really was a sign! We put her in a sleep sack like her brother last night, and initially she did have a little trouble falling asleep. However, she did sleep a nice big chunk of sleep last night, and just woke up a little early this morning- with no intervention all night long (except to change a soiled diaper). I might even say that it was a better night for her than some we've had lately. I was amazed!

I put the swaddle away and didn't look back- she took both her naps in a sleep sack today and both naps were their typical length. I didn't expect that either! Tonight is following the same pattern and I am optimistic that I'll get a good stretch of sleep tonight too.

I know that a lot of people might think she was swaddled too long. Our pedi advised us to not swaddle after 6 months. (Another pedi in her practice said his thoughts on swaddling were that you would know when they were ready to quit being swaddled, however.) I definitely felt pressured to break her of it a long time ago. I maybe even felt a little mommy shame that I was still allowing her to sleep swaddled well past 6 months and we couldn't get her to be okay without it. However, now I am glad we let our own child be our guide- not a book, nor someone else's preconceived notion of what a baby should or should not be doing at any given time. I think this way was the least painful for all involved.

Sam was swaddled until he didn't need it anymore. Anna was too. She just needed to be swaddled a few months longer than he did.

Updates

Benelli (our dog): There seems to have been a little bit less bleeding in the last few days. The tumor has most definitely regrown in his mouth, but I am taking the decrease in blood as a good sign. He will be 8 years old on Friday- I see some special birthday treats in his future. :)

Swaddling: Nights 1 and 2 were rough. Our former 11-12 hour sleeper Anna was awake every hour crying and needed major soothing to get back to sleep. We had every intention of sticking it out, thinking that we were in for 3 days of hell, but I just couldn't do a third night for her. It is just obvious to me that she's not ready. I couldn't survive taking care of twins after three nights in a row of only about 3 hours of sleep either (how did we do it in the early days???). Sam, on the other hand, didn't seem fazed by the new sleeping arrangements at all. Even though his arms were free from the bondage of the miracle blanket, he slept fairly well- when his sister's frantic cries didn't wake him up. On the third night, we gave in after a few hours and re-swaddled Anna (I swear, she almost sighed in relief- or was that me?) and then slept soundly the rest of the night but left Sam in a sleep sack, and he did fine. So for now, Sam's all done with the miracle blanket but Anna's still there. We'll try again in a few weeks.

Eating/Weight Gain/That Damn Reflux: Sam and Anna have been eating a little better, and Anna gained 4 oz in a week, so that is encouraging. Sam, however, lost an ounce in the same week. I swear, they both can't just do well at something (anything) at the same time. Whether it is eating, sleeping, gaining weight, or whatever. I suspect they have a powwow in the middle of the night and plot ways to keep us on our toes!

Gulp. Here We Go...

It's enough to make me break into a cold sweat. Tonight is day 1 of Operation: Break-the-Swaddle-Addiction. I don't know who is more reliant on the miracle blanket swaddle: Sam and Anna, or me. I figured it's about that time since the babies routinely break out of the miracle blanket in the wee morning hours now, and they just don't know how to put themselves back to sleep without both arms firmly swaddled. They need opportunities to practice going to sleep with that environment. Plus, our daycare days are right around the corner (sadly) and it would be fantastic to be swaddle free and sleeping well by the time we get to that point.

This is how I used to find them in the morning:

This is how I've been finding them lately:

Against what I think may be the best path, we are going cold turkey. I threw the miracle blankets in the laundry basket with a gulp, and broke out the sleep sack. We did consider doing the one arm out, then the other plan- but mathematically, we came up with this: It would probably take 3 days for our little ones to get used to one arm out. After a while we'd attempt both arms out and that would take another 3 days for them to get used to it. Then we'd try to stop wrapping it around their middle, which feasibly would take another 3 days. It seemed like a really long, drawn-out process. Then, we thought if we did cold turkey, we'd probably be in for 3 days of hell, but then Sam and Anna would be resigned to their new sleeping arrangements. You do the math: 9 nights vs. 3 nights. With a glass of wine poured, we set out on night number one tonight.

I know it will all be worth it when my babes are soundly sleeping sans swaddle in just under a month when I go back to work. I really didn't want to attempt this when I had to take care of 16 children all day before coming home to two infants! Wish us luck while we attempt the seemingly impossible in the days ahead. I welcome any advice or tips from former swaddling junkies!

After Operation: Break-the-Swaddle-Addiction is a success, the plan is to move onto Operation: Eliminate-the-Pacifier-Crutch with a goal of completion by 6 months (as is when it is recommended you stop using pacifiers). Anna's already got a jump on this one, because once she discovered her hands were pretty tasty, she turns her nose up at a pacifier and prefers gnawing on her own flesh instead. Then Operation: Begin-Solid-Foods will commence; which we will start before we actually hit 6 months.