Where to Begin???

Where to begin? How can so much coolness be crammed into one day??? Starting with the very best:

Can you see both heads and the arms?

The ultrasound was over 2 hours long. The tech waited until after measuring everything before telling us the genders- but I have to say that I totally knew that Baby A was a girl right away before she told us, because I saw the telltale three white lines when she first started measuring. I also figured out that Baby B was a boy while she was measuring the kidneys- it was pretty hard to miss right there between his legs.
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Baby A (Sweet Pea) is transverse (sideways) on top and is our little wiggle worm (and has been for every u/s). The u/s tech was getting so frustrated because she wouldn't hold still enough to cooperate for a lot of the measurements. The tech said it has been a long time since she's seen a baby as active as our little girl. So she took a long time to get everything measured. Wowza- judging by her hyperactivity, we going to have our hands full with her! Her heartrate was 150 bpm this time. Here is her profile and her girly bits:

Because it took soooo long to get everything for her, I was getting pretty uncomfortable laying on my back by the time we got around to Baby B (Little Bean). My back was getting unbearable from the pain, and the pressure of my uterus was making me get lightheaded and dizzy. I actually almost fainted, right there during the u/s halfway through Baby B. Fortunately, I realized what was about to happen, and we took a break during the u/s so I could stand up and drink some water.

Then on to our little boy- Baby B (Little Bean) who was transverse under his sister. He is measuring a little larger than her, with a more oval shaped head (which the u/s tech said is totally normal from the pressure of the other baby on top). His heart rate was 140 bpm this time. He was just chillaxin' under her- but a little shy and kept covering his face with his hands whenever we tried to get a peek at his face. Here is his profile and boy bits:

Then we went to register at Target with my handy list compiled from several twin books I've read. I felt so prepared heading there- but wow- how overwhelming! Tonight I am going with a friend who is a mother of 3 for some expert advice- thank goodness. More about registering in another post to come.

When we got home, there was a box waiting for me- the miracle pillow that is going to cure my incessant back pain arrived! I ordered it last week when I was at my wits end about my back. It isn't a snoogle, because I thought this one would be better for me. I think it will take some getting used to, but this morning my back was much better (although I tossed and turned much of the night).

But that's not all- it was like an early Christmas! When I checked our email, I found out that our cribs are ready to be picked up! We decided to wait until today to go get them, because we were both pretty tired from the day's awesome events.

So finding out the genders, ultrasounds, registering, pregnancy pillow, and cribs- what a full day!!!

So Much to Share!

I have so much to share, but I am SO tired from an awesomely long day. One picture says it all, for now.

Boy or Girl?

It's a boy if:
You didn't experience morning sickness in early pregnancy
Your baby's heart rate is less than 140 beats per minute
You are carrying the extra weight out front
Your belly looks like a basketball
Your areolas have darkened considerably
You are carrying low
You are craving salty or sour foods
You are craving protein -- meats and cheese
Your feet are colder than they were before pregnancy
The hair on your legs has grown faster during pregnancy
Your hands are very dry
Your pillow faces north when you sleep
Dad-to-be is gaining weight, right along with you
Pregnancy has you looking better than ever
Your urine is bright yellow in color
Your nose is spreading
You hang your wedding ring over your belly and it moves in circles
You are having headaches
You add your age at the time of conception and the number for the month you conceived and the sum is an even number

It's a girl if:
You had morning sickness early in pregnancy
Your baby's heart rate is at least 140 beats per minute
You are carrying the weight in your hips and rear
Your left breast is larger than your right breast
Your hair develops red highlights
You are carrying high
Your belly looks like a watermelon
You are craving sweets
You are craving fruit
You crave orange juice
You don't look quite as good as normal during pregnancy
You are moodier than usual during pregnancy
Your face breaks out more than usual
You refuse to eat the heel of a loaf of bread
Your breasts have really blossomed!
Your pillow faces south when you sleep
Your urine is a dull yellow color
You hang your wedding ring over your belly and it moves from side to side
You add your age at the time of conception and the number for the month you conceived and the sum is an odd number

Boy: 6
Girl: 6

I don't know if this works with twins, but if it is tied... could that mean one of each? We'll hopefully know tomorrow!

New belly shots

16 weeks

17 weeks

18 weeks

And because I like to leave you with something memorable: the 18 week bare belly shot.

Weekend Project Accomplished

Today's project was to merge our office and spare bedroom into one room, completely cleaning out the future nursery and closet (which was the place we stored all of our crap). After many hours later- we have one very empty room, and a successful transfer into the new guest room/office (and a different closet packed full of stuff). I still feel pretty guilty about not helping to move the heavy stuff... but so ready to paint and install (er, watch someone put together, I mean) cribs!

Thursday's gender u/s is only a few days away!!!

Killer Back Pain

This week has been brutal in the back pain department. I've always had a little trouble with upper back pain, but several times this week, the pain led me to tears. I engaged in some major intervention and booked a last minute prenatal massage, and that helped a little bit. I've been taking (probably) too much Tylenol, and feeling guilty about it. But the pain is keeping me from sleeping well and my days at work on my feet all day are torture without adequate sleep. I was back to 2-3 hour naps every evening this week, just because I wasn't sleeping soundly at night. I also called my OB's office to either get reassurance that the amount of Tylenol was ok, or a magical solution, because I cannot handle this for another 20 weeks, especially knowing that it will only get worse. My OB's nurse suggested putting in a referral to a Physical Therapist, so I am going there on Monday afternoon. Hopefully that will lead to something that will ease some of this intense shooting upper back pain that I've got going on. Besides going to work, it pretty much makes me immobile for the rest of my waking hours. I sleep, lay on the couch with a heating pad, sleep, work, and repeat.

I also decided to take things to the next level at work and be proactive. According to Dr. Barbara Luke in When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads, "women (that are pregnant with multiples) who stand more than six hours at a time triple their risk of preterm birth... In the course of an 8 hour shift, an expectant mother of multiples should lie down and rest at least twice for a minimum of 20-30 minutes each time." While that is pretty much impossible at school, I did decide that I should attempt at least some semblance of her recommendation. I am lucky enough to have a 12' by 12' storage room in my classroom, so I hauled a cot we use for camping to school and set it up in my storage room. I have been able to lay down for about 15 minutes after lunch each day since I set it up. I feel silly about it, but I came to the conclusion a long time ago that my babies' health is top priority, everything else be damned. So now my kindergartners can really say that their teacher sleeps at school, because there's a bed to prove it. I hope if I actually DO fall asleep, they will wake me up when they get back to the classroom, or that could be a major problem...

Cribs!

A little bit ago we narrowed down our crib choice to 3 options. We wanted white so that they went with the dresser and changing table we are refinishing. I also wanted solid sides if possible, because the plan is to put the two cribs short side to short side- and I had this vision of babies later playing with each other through the slats when they were supposed to be napping. I finally got around to measuring the length of the room to make sure our choices would fit. Then we decided to go with the least expensive of the three options- which is only available online. Sp today I ordered the cribs we decided upon! It seems a little surreal and still not quite right to be able to do this. Nonetheless, it is still exciting!

Finding Out the Genders, Maternity Leave and Showers, Oh My!

I didn't get a chance to mention yet that we had another OB appointment last Thursday. No u/s this time, but we did get to hear the h/bs again. I know I said I was sort of looking forward to a break in the u/s appointments at week 12, because it had been difficult in the beginning of the school year to cover my class so I can get them. BUT- my biweekly u/s were so nice- I'm totally going through withdrawal because it has been a month since the last time I saw my little ones. The good news is that I was able to schedule the next *big* u/s finally- where we should hopefully find out girl/girl, boy/boy, or both genders. Amazingly, we only have a little over two weeks to go! Our anatomy u/s is scheduled for October 29th when I'll be 18 weeks and 4 days. My OB's nurse wanted it to be closer to 20 weeks, but I have that Thursday/Friday off of school and knowing that it will be a long u/s to measure all the bits and pieces of both babies I was hoping that it could work out that we could have the u/s then, instead of having to take more time off of work. I'm dying to know what's in there jammin' along to Bob Marley with me!

We've also finally nailed down my maternity leave- provided that the twins make it to 38 weeks, and I make it at school that long. I know it is a long shot, but I make sure to tell them every day that 38 weeks is the magic number, and that's our goal. If I can make that, then I don't have to go back to school this year, and I can stay home until September when the next school year starts. The babies will be about 6 months then. I have almost 8 weeks of paid sick days I can use, and I'm planning on using 4 weeks unpaid FLMA leave. If I can't hold out until 38 weeks (March 12th) then I will have to go back to school for a little bit before school gets out in June and maybe May. Jake can stay home with the babies then (he has 7 weeks of paid time off he can use), but it is something I'd rather not do if I have any say in it. No matter what, I can't take more than 12 weeks- so if I'm on bedrest for 6 weeks or so, then that will take away from time I can spend with my babies at home. :( I just can't imagine going back to school and leaving my twin newborns at home at 6 weeks. It might just kill me.

There's also been some talk in the works in our families about a baby shower. There are several factors that are against us in making the timing really crummy for a shower. All of our families live 4 or more hours away from us, so we have to travel for any shower. I am not allowed to travel in the third trimester, which will begin on December 26th. I did get the okay from my OB to travel the 4 hours away for Christmas, provided that everything is going well. But that means that a baby shower for our relatives will not be possible in January, February or March. We toyed around with the idea of holding the shower after they are born- but who wants to travel in a vehicle for four hours with two newborns either? And also, we need the stuff before then! December was not looking like a good option because everyone is typically so busy for the holidays.... so.... it is looking like there will be one baby shower for us with all three sets of our families the Sunday after Thanksgiving! I will be 23 weeks. It seems so early and soon, but we didn't really think there was any better option. At least I know that, with twins, I'll be looking more like 30 weeks then anyway, especially if the rate my belly is growing continues! My work will still have a shower for me after the new year, so I'll still have that to look forward to later. It just seems like everything is happening so fast- it seems like yesterday we found out there were two sacs, and here we are, 2 weeks from finding out the genders and a little over a month from having a baby shower for us! Crazy!

My Babies Love Bob Marley

Every morning (ok, and some afternoons) I listen to a Bob Marley CD in my car on my way to school. I started doing this after we went on a trip to Jamaica last March for a much needed break from real life. We were nearing our third year of TTC, and the PGs and births kept coming. After we got back from the best trip ever (adults only resort- no reminder the whole time of what we so desperately wanted for so very long, sun, all inclusive as well as drinks, etc.), I wanted to savor a little bit of the island. Listening to No Woman No Cry ("everything's gonna be all right...") and Three Little Birds ("don't worry, 'bout a thing...") helped me face the world and gear up to take care of other people's kids all day long. Bob Marley helped me keep my sanity and kept me from crying many times from March until the end of our IVF in July. Jamaica was (and still is) my happy place. Both Jamaica and the lyrics of the songs help remind me to chill out and that, no matter what, "every little thing's gonna be all right."

Now the purpose of those songs has changed a little bit. Hearing and singing the lyrics "don't worry, 'bout a thing- every little thing's gonna be all right" give me comfort that no matter what- despite all the extra financial stresses twins currently is and will bring, despite the higher risk I am at for a slew of pregnancy related issues, despite the constant worry about pre-term labor and making everything work out with my maternity leave timeline- EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT. So I still sing along every morning (okay- and some afternoons, especially after a rough school day).

According to something I read, the babies can now recognize my voice. I've been noticing that I can almost always feel them moving around while I'm singing along in my car. So I've decided that my little ones love Bob Marley- I sing along to the radio other times and don't get the same consistent movement. I think this is just the coolest thing! Maybe now we should reconsider a middle name...? :)

(FYI- I am not a stoner. If you've never listened to Bob Marley songs, you should really check them out. They are so relaxing, melodic and most songs have a great message.)

PG Announcements

I got hit with a double dose of other PG announcements today- and came to the realization that unless they were preceded by IF, PG news will always hurt just a little bit for me and I will never be able to be 100% purely happy for the other people. (Of course, if it was a hard fought PG- then the previous sentence does not apply- those PGs announcements are the things that make my day like nothing else can, because that means somebody that day won a fight in the big IF battle). I remember reading another blogger's post about this very thought before being blessed to be in the same situation, and now I can totally understand and relate to those feelings.

Today the co-kindergarten teacher that I knew would be trying this summer shared that she was 12 weeks yesterday. That means she knew for about a week when I told her our news in August. I knew this was going to happen- it wasn't going to be a surprise for me, but it still kind of bothered me. The logical rationalizing side of me is trying to hold onto the fact that this is still the best possible outcome, because it would be a zillion times worse if our IVF didn't work. The comments then were made about how she always wanted 2 kids before she was 30 (me too, dammit) and how it is perfect spacing (she has a 3 year old) and how the timing is great for the school year too (and I will probably have to go back for two weeks at the end)- and from other people how great it is that she's such a planner (I am TOO- but what good did it do me, huh?) and I gritted my teeth. Now there's 4 out of 7 pregnant kindergarten teachers at my school. I know things like this are always going to bother me, because "they" didn't endure the hell I went through for over three years. "They" didn't have to go through hundreds of self-inflicted needles. "They" didn't have to spend their entire savings to get there- and will be able to buy all the cute stuff for their baby, get their master's, live in a nicer house, have a nicer vehicle, etc. And I know that life's not fair. But it still stinks.

Then my mom called this evening. She felt the need to call me right away (because she was so shocked) to let me know she just found out that my loser, trailer trash, jobless cousin is 8 months pregnant- and that she had apparently decided she wanted another kid, so went out and took care of that (but is apparently not with the father or seeing anyone). Um, yeah. Thanks Mom. That is just another illustration of how my mom doesn't get it. At. All. HELLO- your daughter just went through the most difficult experience of her life so far- is about to undergo another major life challenge that involves having children, and you felt the need to pick up the phone right away to remind her that other people, that are way less deserving, don't have to go through any of that crap???

Have I mentioned before that Thanksgiving is going to be interesting this year at my relatives' get-together? I still have not heard from my brother since I got this email from him and sent my eloquent reply. There is sure to be some blog worthy fodder after that holiday! Ha!

Belly Feelings

Thank you so much for your kind comments about my quickly expanding belly. This has been my latest source of worry- just how darn big am I going to get? Am I going to need a wheelbarrow to tote myself around in the end? Are my small size four pant legs going to break under the weight of the enormous belly I will have and the massive chest I am getting? (Sadly, I think I need to shop for new bras AGAIN). Will working until 38 weeks be a totally unrealistic goal because of my gargantuan size?

It didn't help that the same day I resigned to wearing maternity tops full time was the first day my 32 weeks pregnant co-worker wore her first maternity shirt. And I'm 14 weeks.

Overall, I am thrilled to have a bump.

I waited so long for this moment- I revel in the miraculousness of it every day. Every morning the first thing I do is touch my bump and remember how very blessed we are. I am amazed and in love with the babies inside. I find myself narcissistically checking out my bump in every reflective surface I pass. I marvel at the sight I wasn't sure I'd ever get to see. However, it is hard to become comfortable in your own skin that rapidly changes faster than the average pregnant woman. It takes some adjusting.

I know that it won't be long that the bump will stay "little" and "cute" as my co-workers and parents of students at my school are commenting. I know there is a time not that far away that I'm going to be so enormous that I'll feel like I belong in the circus. (I know this for sure because I've seen belly shots of other twin mothers to be on blogs. All I can say about that is wowza.)

Today one of my co-workers commented that I was really big for only being as far along as I am. (Two thoughts went through my head: 1. Duh- TWINS, remember? and 2. Well that's the first in a long string of similar comments soon to come.) Then she went on to say, "Well, this too shall pass, huh?" Like it is a bad thing. That bothered me. I immediately felt the need to express how thrilled I am to actually LOOK pregnant. How novel this still is for me and how I love being able for people to see that I am pregnant with no question about it. How awesome it is to not have to put any thought into sucking in my stomach right now, like girls spend most of their life doing.

Basically I am a mix of feeling about it: uncomfortable in my own skin sometimes, defensive about it, happy and excited to see what I've got right now, but worried about what's to come.