Change in Plans...

We made a major decision this past weekend. I am not going back to school next week for the rest of the school year (14 days) like we planned. I couldn't fathom leaving my babies yet (how do people go back to work after 6 weeks???) I can't imagine making the transition from taking care of my babies all day long to getting ready for work in the morning and leaving them for hours to go take care of other people's children. I don't know how I would balance end-of-the-school-year demands with the demands of my children every second I'm at home. Ultimately, there will be lots of end-of-the-school-years to come, but Sam and Anna will only be 10-13 weeks old once. I do feel extremely lucky to be able to be home with them for 13 weeks, and off of work for 15 total weeks. This also means I get to be a stay-at-home mom until they are almost 6 months old!!!

My substitute had mentioned a few times that if I changed my mind she would be able to stay longer, so I just send an email to our district office asking if it was okay. They sent an email back saying my extended leave was approved, and that was that- piece of cake on that end.

Money wise, I'm not going to brush over it: it's going to be HARD. This means I will have taken a total of 7 unpaid weeks. At first, the estimate from my district's HR person wasn't too bad. But they forgot to factor in the deduction I was already taking for the first 4 unpaid weeks. Because of insurance, union dues, and taxes, we'll be out more money than I would have even made by being at school those 14 days. When we were rethinking the plan, I tried to figure out how much money we'd save by me not going back those weeks- if I went back to work I would need 1.) a haircut and highlights ($100) but I can forgo this if I'm at home with my hair up anyway 2.) new clothes that would fit because I can't wear comfy pants and t-shirts to school ($200?) 3.) gas ($150 for 3 weeks) and since my husband would have used his leave to watch Sam and Anna, he can now use those days this fall so that will be hundreds of dollars of childcare we won't have to pay either. Regardless, our savings will take a major hit. At least my emotional well-being won't be taking a big hit by going back to work too.

A year from now, the money lost won't be a big deal, but the time spent with my children will be. We may just be eating Ramen and mac and cheese for a while, but it will be worth it, a million times over! I'll be reminded of that every time I see a smile or hear a coo during the hours I would have been gone.

More Firsts

Yesterday was the first time we left Sam and Anna with non-relative babysitters. Before this, my parents watched them at our house while they were visiting so my husband and I could go out to eat for his birthday (they were just under a month old at the time). It has been a month since we've been able to go out to eat just the two of us. I couldn't have asked for better babysitters: my co-teacher and her daughter both are licensed birth-3rd grade teachers, currently teaching kindergarten. My co-teacher's daughter worked at a childcare while she was in college. I was very confident that things would go well, and didn't even call to check on them once. :)

Last Thursday I took the babies to visit my students at school for the first time. It is an understatement to say that it wasn't easy to haul them there on the 30 minute drive by myself, especially since neither one likes car rides. Sam cried the entire drive there. It definitely felt weird to walk those halls and see my class, since I hadn't been there for 9 weeks. I realized that I am really out of teacher-mode! I have only a few weeks until I go back on May 20th to finish out the school year and needless to say, I'm dreading that immensely. Yesterday my husband and I talked seriously again about letting our savings take a big hit so I don't have to go back for those 3 weeks. My class just doesn't really feel like "my" class anymore on top of how horrible I know I'll feel to leave my babies for so many hours a day.

I plan on bring the babies to visit my old school (where I taught 4 years ago) this week. I still keep in touch with several of the teachers I used to work with there. It is an hour drive one way, so wish me luck! I hope we can time it so that they end up sleeping on the way there and back.

Sleep at night has continued to get better around here- Sam had his first STTN experience last week- he went from 9 pm until 4 am. Anna's consistently sleeping from about 9:00 pm until 6:30 am. So they both STTN that night! Awesome! I can't wait until they both go 9:00 pm to 6:30 am. We've gotten better at a regular bedtime and nighttime routine lately. We typically start at around 8 pm. Last night was the smoothest transition to sleep yet: both babies got put in their cribs drowsy but not yet asleep and both fell asleep on their own with minimal fussing. This was great considering we had been using a blow dryer running in their room at night for the last week or so to prevent struggling to get them to sleep for over an hour after we started to put them down. They have gotten so much better at self-soothing, which is encouraging. I am looking forward to the days when daytime naps go that well too.

Firsts for me: I am back in my pre-PG underwear, and several of my looser pre-PG tops. I tried on jeans yesterday and although I'm no where near my pre-PG size (which was the smallest size I've ever been), I'm no longer in the biggest size I've ever been. I'm trying to remind myself when I get discouraged about the flub around my middle that in high school my jeans were a size bigger than what I can wear now. So hey, progress is being made. Now if I can only find time to actually do the 30 Day Shred...

The home stretch

It has been definitely obvious that we are in the home stretch. Today marks 33 weeks, and it is hard to believe that I am carrying the equivalent of two pineapples in my uterus. I could focus on the aches and pains that brings, like how even taking a shower is too long for my poor hips and feet to tolerate pain free, or how I miss my ankles. But instead I'm going to focus on the little details we are crossing off the list! We had a productive weekend- my dear husband assembled the co-sleeper, which is now hanging out right next to our bed. I sterilized the pump pieces, washed and wiped down the bouncers, swing, bath seat, boppies, etc. All that stuff is set to go! We bought a lamp and curtain rod for the babies' room. All that I can say is really left to do is install the car seats (the plan for next weekend), pack the diaper bag once it arrives (I went with the Skip Hop Double Duo Deluxe), put up the curtains once my friend finishes making them, and buy nursing bras. Maybe stock up on more diapers, too? I'm trying to get my husband to deep clean- but we'll see if that ever happens. Overall, that's not really that long of a list!

My long term sub is coming to school all day tomorrow to observe and figure out how I do things- I'm slightly afraid that that is the last thing that's keeping up my resolve to work as long as possible instead of throwing in the towel. The voice in my head is whispering that working until 34 weeks (through this week) is admirable enough, but logical me is begging not to have to go back to work in May. We'll see who wins on that one- or if the babies have other plans in mind. Don't tell my husband, but I'm beginning to start feeling like 36 weeks is going to be the magic number... I have a feeling that the twins' birth day will be February 28th. That's my guess- but 38 weeks is still the ultimate goal. Maybe it is time I put up a guess-the-date poll?

Finding Out the Genders, Maternity Leave and Showers, Oh My!

I didn't get a chance to mention yet that we had another OB appointment last Thursday. No u/s this time, but we did get to hear the h/bs again. I know I said I was sort of looking forward to a break in the u/s appointments at week 12, because it had been difficult in the beginning of the school year to cover my class so I can get them. BUT- my biweekly u/s were so nice- I'm totally going through withdrawal because it has been a month since the last time I saw my little ones. The good news is that I was able to schedule the next *big* u/s finally- where we should hopefully find out girl/girl, boy/boy, or both genders. Amazingly, we only have a little over two weeks to go! Our anatomy u/s is scheduled for October 29th when I'll be 18 weeks and 4 days. My OB's nurse wanted it to be closer to 20 weeks, but I have that Thursday/Friday off of school and knowing that it will be a long u/s to measure all the bits and pieces of both babies I was hoping that it could work out that we could have the u/s then, instead of having to take more time off of work. I'm dying to know what's in there jammin' along to Bob Marley with me!

We've also finally nailed down my maternity leave- provided that the twins make it to 38 weeks, and I make it at school that long. I know it is a long shot, but I make sure to tell them every day that 38 weeks is the magic number, and that's our goal. If I can make that, then I don't have to go back to school this year, and I can stay home until September when the next school year starts. The babies will be about 6 months then. I have almost 8 weeks of paid sick days I can use, and I'm planning on using 4 weeks unpaid FLMA leave. If I can't hold out until 38 weeks (March 12th) then I will have to go back to school for a little bit before school gets out in June and maybe May. Jake can stay home with the babies then (he has 7 weeks of paid time off he can use), but it is something I'd rather not do if I have any say in it. No matter what, I can't take more than 12 weeks- so if I'm on bedrest for 6 weeks or so, then that will take away from time I can spend with my babies at home. :( I just can't imagine going back to school and leaving my twin newborns at home at 6 weeks. It might just kill me.

There's also been some talk in the works in our families about a baby shower. There are several factors that are against us in making the timing really crummy for a shower. All of our families live 4 or more hours away from us, so we have to travel for any shower. I am not allowed to travel in the third trimester, which will begin on December 26th. I did get the okay from my OB to travel the 4 hours away for Christmas, provided that everything is going well. But that means that a baby shower for our relatives will not be possible in January, February or March. We toyed around with the idea of holding the shower after they are born- but who wants to travel in a vehicle for four hours with two newborns either? And also, we need the stuff before then! December was not looking like a good option because everyone is typically so busy for the holidays.... so.... it is looking like there will be one baby shower for us with all three sets of our families the Sunday after Thanksgiving! I will be 23 weeks. It seems so early and soon, but we didn't really think there was any better option. At least I know that, with twins, I'll be looking more like 30 weeks then anyway, especially if the rate my belly is growing continues! My work will still have a shower for me after the new year, so I'll still have that to look forward to later. It just seems like everything is happening so fast- it seems like yesterday we found out there were two sacs, and here we are, 2 weeks from finding out the genders and a little over a month from having a baby shower for us! Crazy!