So far behind!

I'm out of town for 4 days and now I'm no longer just treading water- I feel like I'm drowning in the amount of stuff I need to/want to do! I want to comment on all the blog posts I missed while we were gone, I want to post all about the shower, I want to unpack all the shower things, I have a mountain of laundry to do, we had our latest OB appt today, I have a crapload of mittens to make, but yet all I feel like doing is laying on the couch to recouperate after the first full school day in over a week. So I guess I'm resorting to bullets for today- only because I'm afraid I'll never get a chance to fully post before it is too far in the past (like the post about registering that never was).

• The OB appointment: I am up 37 lbs since 6 weeks 5 days (that's 37 lbs in about 17 weeks). Uff Da. I'm also measuring 32 weeks; which is 9 weeks ahead. Ha- I guess I'm not going to have tiny twins. That's okay- I like healthy babies much better. :) I also got a letter to take to the DMV to get a temporary handicap permit- mainly so I don't have to trek across the staff parking lot all the way to my classroom, which is conveniently the farthest classroom in the entire long school. Now I should be able to park in the front "parent" lot- instead of taking 5-10 minutes to get to my classroom, I should be able to get there in 2 or less. My next appointment is a week from Friday with the perinatologist, which means I'll get another u/s next week. :) I like hearing the heartbeats- but seeing the little ones beats hearing them, hands down.

• The shower was relatively painless (after PIO shots, everything is relatively painless). I'm not one for being the center of attention in a crowd of relatives, but I made it through. I made my dear husband hang out since he had no where to go during the shower and that helped. The only thing that marred the whole event was that a guest's car was broken into in the parking lot and her GPS was stolen. I wish I could say I was overwhelmed with with amount of stuff we got, but we did get a few of the larger things so that is nice. We got home after 9 pm last night- piled the boxes in the babies' room and unpacked what we needed to since we both had to work today. I'm itching to go through it all without so many eyes on me and spending so much time thinking of the "right" thing to say like, " how cute" or "awww" or "that will really come in handy," blah, blah, blah...

• Thanksgiving was the first time I've seen my brother in person since the email drama this summer and in true family fashion, not a word was said about it. I'm not one to hold a grudge, so whatever- I have other things to stress about now.

• Saturday is our all day long birthing class... so that should be interesting.

• And that's about it, for now! I will try to post a shower picture or two someday soon, I hope. :)

Shower Apprehension

So my shower is on Sunday. Overall, I am just not looking forward to it. Once an infertile, always an infertile. I haven't been to a shower (outside of small at-work shindigs) since I had to painfully host my SIL's shower after almost a year of TTC, for my nephew that was conceived the month we started TTC. Yes, that was January 2007- a damn long time ago. I just don't know if I know how to do the shower thing. I'm excited, over the moon, thrilled beyond words about our two babies, but I don't know how to play lighthearted baby games and gush over baby stuff. I don't want to be a poser- the joyfully pregnant lady who has no idea that other people struggle so much over trying to have a baby. I don't want to hurt the person in the crowd that I don't know is struggling with trying to get pregnant. I want to make it known how hard-fought this was- yet, I want to keep our very personal selves to our self. I don't want to hear the stupid comments while biting my tongue to keep from educating ignorant people.

But I want the stuff.

I want the stuff because one (of a long list) of my worries is how expensive two babies at the same time will be, and how little we have for them. We don't have the resources for lots of free hand-me-downs (my SIL is due in February, so there goes any opportunity for any stuff there). We don't have the $ resources to buy everything new. So hopefully we will be toting home lots of stuff on Sunday-otherwise, I am stressed to think about the alternative. If that makes me sound greedy- so be it. I don't need the prettiest stuff or the fanciest stuff- I just want everything that will make my babies the safest, happiest, most secure children possible(and the stuff that will help keep us sane- all for our babies health, of course).

The Things People Say

I'm sure the rest of my life will be filled with a long, never ending list of stupid things people say because I am pregnant with or have twins. Today- thanks to parent/teacher conferences- I got a few good ones to add to the list:

1. From a current student's parent: "You're huge!" (No shit, Sherlock. Twins, um kay?)

2. From a former student's parent: "Having twins will be so much easier than what I had- my kids were 13 months apart (and it was hard to keep track of both of them, blah, blah, blah...)!" (Have you ever, really, tried to take care of two newborns 24/7- including all their feeding, sleeping, diaper changes and other needs? Because I'm pretty sure your 13 month old did not cry, eat, poop or have as much of an erratic sleeping schedule as a newborn. And if you still feel feel that way- you are personally invited to come take over for a day or so in March, and then we'll see how you feel- because I'm pretty sure twin newborns are more difficult.)

3. From that same parent: "Well, tell your husband that he sure planned that right! Now you can be done!" (Not even worth a comeback for that one)

I'm sure I'll have some lovely comments to add to the list after I'm through with our relatives at Thanksgiving and my shower this weekend as well. Although I have not been so lucky to get any random stranger comments yet. What fun things to look forward to!

Addicted

I am now addicted to feeling my babies kicks from the outside. As someone who for a long time thought I may never get to experience something like this, it is a simply amazing thing. I have been feeling them move from the inside since week 13, but the anterior placentas have made feeling the movements with my hand a little harder to come by. Lately, it has been getting easier as the kicks are less sporadic and usually happen several times in a row with more intensity.

Yesterday at 21 weeks 3 days, (after eating some sugary food) the kicks were stronger than ever before. My husband finally felt them for the first time. He was talking to my Mother in Law on the phone and she actually got choked up when he told her.

After school today I was working at my desk when one of them started their kickboxing again. So I sat there mesmerized with my hands on my belly- not realizing how long I just sat there until the custodian came in. I didn't want to go home because I didn't want to stop feeling it. So now I am certifiably addicted. And even more in love with the babies growing in there.

The Most Thankful Thing

It's the time of year when I read lots of Thanksgiving books to my kindergarten class. Today I read a book that OH MY GAWD- brought me to tears, right there in front of my kids. It did the same thing last year... but for a different reason.

The Most Thankful Thing by Lisa McCourt is a great Thanksgiving book. Here's a summary of the story: When a little girl asks her mom what her "most thankful thing ever" is, Mom turns the question into a fun trip down memory lane. Turning the pages of Mom's photo album, they discover many wonderful moments in Mom's life, from summer camp to winning a trophy in a soccer tournament, from singing onstage to her wedding day. But one event in Mom's whole life is the very best ever, topping even marrying her husband -- the birth of her precious little girl.

Last year (and probably the year before) when I read this book out loud, I got choked up because I wondered if marrying my husband would be my most thankful thing ever for the rest of my life- and if I would get to ever experience something even better- holding my children for the very first time after their birth. This year, there were tears- not for the same reason, but because my most thankful thing to top all others is right around the corner.

My two precious miracles are my most thankful thing ever. Hands down, no contest. I am beyond grateful that this thanksgiving I can be thankful for them.

Updated Belly Shots

19 weeks (a non-maternity shirt)

20 weeks

21 weeks

21 weeks belly shot
When I look back at 16 weeks, I laugh because I look so much smaller back then than I do now... I bet 7 weeks from now, I'll be laughing at how "small" my belly looks right now!

Bedding

Once we found out we were having a boy and a girl, bedding has been a little bit of a difficult decision for us (me). I didn't spend much time before finding out the genders thinking about what to do, because there were three different possibilities (boy/boy, girl/girl, or boy/girl) and I didn't want to waste time thinking about something that only had a 33% chance of happening. Having two of the same gender would have been so easy to decide, but one of each has proven to be difficult. Knowing that we will not use the bumpers (not safe) and not really use the quilt in a set in the crib, I was having a hard time justifying plopping down the hundreds of dollars for two crib bedding sets that we would only really use the sheet and skirt from. So I started looking more at bedding separates- skirts and sheets.

It seemed like to go gender neutral, we were pretty much stuck with jungle or farm themes. I just couldn't find a jungle theme that I liked that wasn't too boyish and would go with our white furniture. I wasn't sure I even wanted a "theme." Then I saw these:I like how they go together, but aren't exactly the same. I like how they have white in them to go with our furniture and brown in them to go with our carpet. So I bought them! Our girl's bedding is predominately pink with brown, white, and sage green; while our boy's bedding is predominately sage green with brown, white, and blue.

My amazingly talented friend, Sara, had also told me she wanted to make quilts for our babies (another reason why the bedding sets seemed like a waste of money for us). I am so blessed to have such a kind and caring friend! Last Sunday we went to pick out fabric. She got started on them right away- here is a sneak peek of two of the blocks she has put together so far (notice the fabrics that will be in both quilts):

They will go perfectly with the bedding we've already purchased. Sara is also thinking about making coordinating wall hangings using the same fabric, maybe a valance, etc.- she's so crafty, I am so excited to see how it all ties together! I cannot wait until the quilts are done!

Now to decide on a wall color...

Two Times Blessed

Had to share (from a twin mommy on Baby Center):

Two Times Blessed

Two little hands
Two little feet
As a new Mother she will greet

Hugs and kisses she will have galore
For now her heart will greet one more

Two little hands
Two little feet
Two little hearts make a joyous beat

But as you can see, I’ve been doubly blessed
For I will have two babies to hold close to my chest

To those who may say, you’ve got your hands full
I will reply so calm and so cool....

Four little hands
Four little feet
Two little hearts make my life complete!

“If you think our hands will be full…imagine our hearts.”

Randomness

My last progesterone shot was over 2 months ago. The lumps have completely disappeared from my left hip- but I still have two lumps on my right. Experienced IVFers- when did yours go away? When will mine? Is it normal that I still have those lumps? Is it something I should bring up with my doctor? Thanks in advance for any info!

Time is getting away from me- I can hardly keep up with blogs and commenting- let alone post my own blog posts. I want to do a post about registering, about our bedding, about reading twin books, and my faith story... Argh! And I have yet to really plan anything in advance for my substitute teacher once I go on maternity leave... I need a 48 hour day!

The physical therapy really seems to be helping with my back pain. The physical therapist jokingly said today that what she thinks I need to make it all better is really just a weekly massage. I told her that it was too bad my health insurance probably wouldn't agree. Since the pain is almost gone, we agreed that I don't need to go every week and we'll see how I do from now on with the exercises she gave me to do. Hopefully that will do the trick!

My husband has been out of town for a week now, and will be for 3 more days. This has given me a glimpse of what could happen (on a much smaller scale) in January when he has a work trip... and I don't like it. I miss having him here (ok, I always do- I'm not one of those wives who secretly like the time alone). I miss having someone take care of me, because I know I don't always do the best job by myself. He usually cooks, takes care of the dishes, brings out the garbage, feeds and kennels the dogs while we are at work, and doing those things while 20 weeks pregnant with twins is a lot harder than it was pre-pregnancy. I don't want him to go in January. What if I can't bend down to put on my shoes when I'm 30 weeks? What if something happens while he's gone and he's not there in time for our babies to be born? I know it is a long way off, but this is something has been in the back of my mind for a while now. I know if I'm on bed rest, he can get out of going- but I think that might be the only way. I guess I'll have to just wait until January to see what happens- no sense letting myself stress about it now when there's nothing I can do about it, right?

Oooh! And I think I saw and felt them move for the first time from the outside yesterday! I've been trying to catch it again since then, with no luck. It is hard to take time to do that during the day- people tend to look at you funny if you are just staring at your stomach!

Over Half Way!

How our babies are growing according to babycenter.com: Your babies weigh about 10 1/2 ounces now. They are also around 6 1/2 inches long from head to bottom and about 10 inches from head to heel — the length of a banana. (For the first 20 weeks, when a baby's legs are curled up against his torso and hard to measure, measurements are taken from the top of his head to his bottom — the "crown to rump" measurement. After 20 weeks, he's measured from head to toe.) According to thebump.com- each is the size of a cantaloupe.

They are swallowing more these days, which is good practice for their digestive system. They are also producing meconium, a black, sticky by-product of digestion. This gooey substance will accumulate in the bowels, and you'll see it in the first soiled diapers (some babies pass meconium in the womb or during delivery).

It is hard to believe that I am over half way done baking these babies. I still feel like I'm tiptoeing around, waiting for a catastrophe, since mostly everything has been going well since we found out in July (except for my extreme back pain)- no spotting, no concerns detected from u/s, no er trips (for me). Still praying for no bedrest; still anxiously hoping to get to mid-March with no issues.

How far along: 20 weeks (but measured 26 weeks at 19 weeks)

Total weight gain: 23 lbs since 6 weeks

Stretch marks?: No new ones, thanks to Mamma Mio Tummy Butter :)

Sleep: My days of sleeping in past 9 are over. :( My back starts hurting so badly I need to get up. BUT with the Back N Belly pillow, I can sleep well for 9 hours on the weekend with only 1-2 bathroom trips

Best moments this week: Finding out the genders, sharing the news with everyone, seeing the assembled cribs (ok, these happened a little bit over a week ago)

Food cravings: Still fruit and bacon... Mmmm, bacon!

Sex: Boy and girl!

Labor signs?: I hope not. I think(?) I may be having some Braxton Hicks, especially since this was a really long, trying week at school- but as a first time mom- I have no clue what's what that I feel down there sometimes.

Belly Button: Getting shallower. Now that my skins stretching out I have noticed my old belly button piercing is a little crooked. Never could tell before.

What I miss the most: Sleeping on my stomach and good, quality sleep for 12 hours.

What I am looking forward to the most: My shower in a few weeks. But not really because of the shower (I am scared and anxious about that- it's been awhile since I've been to one and I can't remember the last time I didn't have awful feelings while I attended one)- because I am hoping that once we get a lot of stuff for these two I can ease some of my financial worries about how the heck we're going to be able to afford this. AND when my husband can feel them from the outside!

Milestones: Halfway mark for a singleton pregnancy means more than half way for me! 1 month 'til viability.

Halloween 2010

I have two families of twins in my classroom this year- a set of girl twins and one boy from a set of boy twins. I mentioned some time ago that the mother of the boy twin told me right away that her boys are the result of IVF as well, and she has really been excited to hear about how things are going along the way. She has given me maternity clothes (not really the style I would wear, but it is the thought that counts) and a few baby clothes. This week the mother of the girl twins was helping in my classroom and we started talking about twins- She shared that her twins were Clomid babies. I also let her know that we found out we are having one boy and one girl. Then I jokingly said now I can't buy all of their cute girl twin outfits from them! (Those two girls are often dressed to the nines in the cutest coordinating outfits. I like that the mom doesn't always have them wear the exact same thing, but maybe the same dress in two different colors, for example) The mom went out to her car during recess and came in with these glow-in-the-dark onesies for my babies:

Her girls were obsessed with skeletons this year and had their own glow-in-the-dark skeleton shirts. The mom said they begged her to buy them for my babies when they saw them in the store, and so she told them when I found out what I was having they would get them for me. I guess every time they went to the store the girls would count how many were left, and when there were only 2 of each still there, the mom went ahead and bought them so it would work either way. It was such a unexpected surprise- and one of the best moments in an otherwise really crummy week. I can't wait until my little ones can wear them next year!

Follow Up to My Last Post

This is just a follow up to my last post:

I've been so knee-deep in a twin/multiple pregnancy for the last couple of months I forget sometimes that some of my blog readers might not know some of the ways a twin/multiple pregnancy is very different than a singleton pregnancy. So I just wanted to add to my average daily "food intake" list that I am in no way, shape or form thinking that I eat too much or gaining too much. According to the Go-To book for people expecting multiples, "When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads" by Dr. Barbara Luke:

• "For (expectant mothers of multiples) who have not given birth before, the uterus has not yet been stretched. Higher weight gain will help to ensure better fetal growth. Try to gain an additional 5-7 lbs as quickly as possible."
• If your (multiple) pregnancy was the result of infertility treatments: "you should aim to gain an additional 4-6 lbs during the first half of your pregnancy... evidence suggests that this extra weight can reduce the risk of miscarriage in pregnancies resulting from ART."
• "Your weight gain up to 28 weeks has the greatest influence on the babies' rate of growth (for twins)."
• "It becomes harder to gain weight as your pregnancy progresses- the bigger your babies grow, the less room there is for your stomach to expand... with multiples, the 40-week size arrives much sooner" (leaving hardly any room left for food much sooner than a singleton pregnancy)
• "You won't have a full 9 months in which to gain...(there is) less time you'll have to put on the needed lbs."
• And finally, the weight gain goal by 20 weeks is 25 lbs for twins (more than double the 12 lbs for a singleton, if you are wondering).

So, you see- I'm actually feeling really, really good about the 24 lb gain and what I've been eating to get there. It has been a challenge to find the time during the day to get it all in, and I've really had to work at it. I'm usually the kind of person who gets too busy to remember to eat. But now, I'm right on target for giving my babies the healthiest chance possible. Since I have a few factors against me that put me at a higher risk for pre-term birth (my 8+ hour a day, on my feet, never stop moving job, for one)- I knew this was one area I could really try to do my best. Dr. Barbara Luke says the weight gain goal by 28 weeks is 38 lbs... we'll see where I am around New Year's when I hit that marker!

I'm a Hobbit

SweetPeanMe asked me what I'm eating- and I figured it would be fun to type out an average day for me. Be prepared to be amazed:

• 1st breakfast: oatmeal
• 2nd breakfast: hashbrowns and bacon right before I leave- sometimes this includes a scrambled egg (my sweet husband gets up early just to make it for me)
• 3rd breakfast: banana while teaching reading (All breakfasts before 8:30 am)
• 1st snack at 9:40 am recess: applesauce and pudding or fruit
• lunch at 11 am: leftovers and yogurt
• 2nd snack at 1 pm: string cheese or granola bar, etc.
• 3rd snack at 2 pm: whatever the students are eating- if I'm lucky, a birthday cupcake (we've had 4 birthdays in the last week)
• 2nd lunch at 3 pm after school: pbj sandwich and apple or pear or pickles, etc.
• Dinner: something filling like pasta/potatoes with meat and veggies
• 4th snack about an hour after dinner: usually ice cream
• 5th and final snack right before I go to sleep: apple cinnamon cheerios in milk (if I don't eat something substantial, I wake up starving at around 2:30 am)

Add in the fact that I make every effort to sit while teaching all day long and I'm not going on my usual long power walks, and no wonder I've gained 24 lbs in 13 weeks!

Latest OB Appointment

Today I was able to finally get the H1N1 vaccination. In two weeks, I will be armed against all the H1N1 germy kindergartners I am face to face with every day. Funny enough, I had a little needle anxiety before the shot went in- ME! - The girl who not that long ago got stuck with over 200 needles (many self-inflicted) and then lost count. I guess the break from needle poking has been nicer than I realized.

According to my OB, I am measuring 7 weeks ahead at 26 weeks (for a singleton PG). I also have gained 24 lbs since 6 weeks- that's right, 24 pounds in 13 weeks. I have no idea what my starting weight was, because the IVF bloat messed with my actual pre-PG weight. It is crazy watching that scale creep higher each time I'm at the OB's and seeing numbers that I've never seen before. Besides some gain in my chest, I'd like to think that the rest is all belly. I hope it stays that way. But I'm not weight gain-obsessed- I don't care, as long as it means my babies are healthy and I'm doing the right thing to help them be the healthiest they can be.

Today was my first school day since finding out the genders, so I decided to bring "surprise" cupcakes to school to reveal the genders. In the middle of the cupcakes we piped pink and blue batter (colored with food coloring) so that you had to bite into the cupcakes to find out. I kept it a secret until lunchtime so that the beans couldn't be spilled before then. I thought it was a cute idea- some people cared more than others. Oh well- I thought it was fun, and that's all that matters!