Wordless Wednesday
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Could It Be???
Thanks to a little method called pick up/put down from the Baby Whisperer- could it be that we've pretty much tamed the 30 to 45 minute nap intruder???
For the last few days we've been implementing the pu/pd method. Pacifier replacement and soothing while not picking Sam and Anna up (like with patting or shhing) have not worked for us. I'm not sure if I'm really doing it by the books, but this is my interpretation: As usual, Sam and Anna initially get put down drowsy but awake after watching for their sleepy cues (Which used to be really easy to spot- a yawn or 2 and there you go. Now it's a little more subtle with slowing down movements and staring into space) They don't ever usually cry when being put down.
Then, when they wake and start crying in the middle of the nap, I give it 5 minutes before I walk in the room to pick them up- waking the other one be damned. This used to be my crutch: I didn't want one to wake the other baby and multiply my problem so I would sweep in and carry the crying baby out of the room immediately. Bad momma=reinforcing bad habits since my little ones love to nap on momma. (With only one lap and two babies, this was definitely a problem) And guess what? After waking their sibling the first few times, now it doesn't seem to wake the other one- or if it does, their brother/sister can go back to sleep on their own without my help.
(And oh, if you are wondering how I know they need a longer nap than 45 minutes? Because 1.) I've read in several places that they need more 2.) They are more fussy when they get lots of short naps 3.) I can always eventually get them drowsy and back to sleep by holding them when they've calmed down)
After waiting 5 minutes I pick up the crying offender and soothe them until they are drowsy but awake again, then gently place them back in their cribs (I needed to tell myself NO EXCEPTIONS so I could consistently reinforce this, as much as I enjoy a nap or two on mom every once in a while). If they cry again after being put down, I leave the room and wait 5 minutes, then repeat. I don't consider this crying-it-out, because I'm not letting them cry indefinitely. I am giving them a short opportunity to soothe themselves first before I offer assistance. If I don't give them opportunities to do that, how will they learn how to?
Anna used to sometimes fall back asleep on her own during naps if I was already soothing Sam and didn't get in there right away. So that was a good hint to me that this would at least probably work with her. Sam never did and always needed me to hold him until he was completely asleep if he woke mid-nap. But now, both babies have been consistently taking their approximately 1 1/2 hour naps in their cribs 3 times a day with a shorter catnap before bed.
Sam almost always makes it through a nap without crying (although I do think he wakes a little in the middle but then goes back to sleep). Anna will now only cry for maybe 2 minutes a couple of times before she's back asleep on her own. Ahhh- progress. I am hopeful that the 2 minutes of crying will fade away too.
I am a firm believer that with babies, you have to be willing to go through a little rough patch while helping them get better at whatever it is you are shooting for. You can't always just do what works or the easiest approach right now- you've gotta keep your eye on the bigger picture. Case in point: at my mom group, there's a mom with a 10 month old who only naps on her mom, and wakes several times a night. The reason for the first one? She was never willing to try to teach her another way, because it "works" for her little girl. The reason for the second one? She lets her breastfed daughter snack throughout the night for a few minutes whenever she wakes because it is the "easiest way to get her back to sleep." If she's okay with that, to each their own. However, I know I want my children to have more quality sleep and help them have good, healthy sleep habits. I doubt there are adults who still nap on mom or snack multiple times a night- so at some point, the cycle has to be broken.
Did Sam and Anna get a little more overtired the first few times we tried the pick up/ put down method? Yes. They didn't get back to sleep after they woke and spent a hour waking and crying off and on. BUT my babies are much better rested overall only a few days after that rough patch. And that will continue down the road.
For the last few days we've been implementing the pu/pd method. Pacifier replacement and soothing while not picking Sam and Anna up (like with patting or shhing) have not worked for us. I'm not sure if I'm really doing it by the books, but this is my interpretation: As usual, Sam and Anna initially get put down drowsy but awake after watching for their sleepy cues (Which used to be really easy to spot- a yawn or 2 and there you go. Now it's a little more subtle with slowing down movements and staring into space) They don't ever usually cry when being put down.
Then, when they wake and start crying in the middle of the nap, I give it 5 minutes before I walk in the room to pick them up- waking the other one be damned. This used to be my crutch: I didn't want one to wake the other baby and multiply my problem so I would sweep in and carry the crying baby out of the room immediately. Bad momma=reinforcing bad habits since my little ones love to nap on momma. (With only one lap and two babies, this was definitely a problem) And guess what? After waking their sibling the first few times, now it doesn't seem to wake the other one- or if it does, their brother/sister can go back to sleep on their own without my help.
(And oh, if you are wondering how I know they need a longer nap than 45 minutes? Because 1.) I've read in several places that they need more 2.) They are more fussy when they get lots of short naps 3.) I can always eventually get them drowsy and back to sleep by holding them when they've calmed down)
After waiting 5 minutes I pick up the crying offender and soothe them until they are drowsy but awake again, then gently place them back in their cribs (I needed to tell myself NO EXCEPTIONS so I could consistently reinforce this, as much as I enjoy a nap or two on mom every once in a while). If they cry again after being put down, I leave the room and wait 5 minutes, then repeat. I don't consider this crying-it-out, because I'm not letting them cry indefinitely. I am giving them a short opportunity to soothe themselves first before I offer assistance. If I don't give them opportunities to do that, how will they learn how to?
Anna used to sometimes fall back asleep on her own during naps if I was already soothing Sam and didn't get in there right away. So that was a good hint to me that this would at least probably work with her. Sam never did and always needed me to hold him until he was completely asleep if he woke mid-nap. But now, both babies have been consistently taking their approximately 1 1/2 hour naps in their cribs 3 times a day with a shorter catnap before bed.
Sam almost always makes it through a nap without crying (although I do think he wakes a little in the middle but then goes back to sleep). Anna will now only cry for maybe 2 minutes a couple of times before she's back asleep on her own. Ahhh- progress. I am hopeful that the 2 minutes of crying will fade away too.
I am a firm believer that with babies, you have to be willing to go through a little rough patch while helping them get better at whatever it is you are shooting for. You can't always just do what works or the easiest approach right now- you've gotta keep your eye on the bigger picture. Case in point: at my mom group, there's a mom with a 10 month old who only naps on her mom, and wakes several times a night. The reason for the first one? She was never willing to try to teach her another way, because it "works" for her little girl. The reason for the second one? She lets her breastfed daughter snack throughout the night for a few minutes whenever she wakes because it is the "easiest way to get her back to sleep." If she's okay with that, to each their own. However, I know I want my children to have more quality sleep and help them have good, healthy sleep habits. I doubt there are adults who still nap on mom or snack multiple times a night- so at some point, the cycle has to be broken.
Did Sam and Anna get a little more overtired the first few times we tried the pick up/ put down method? Yes. They didn't get back to sleep after they woke and spent a hour waking and crying off and on. BUT my babies are much better rested overall only a few days after that rough patch. And that will continue down the road.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Growin' Up...
- I officially decided that once we run out of size 1 diapers, we will move to size 2 diapers. All that's left is in our changing table drawer.
- Sam and Anna wore their first 3-6 month outfits this weekend. Now most people would probably be sad about this, but since gaining weight has been a battle lately with the darn reflux- this is cause for celebration! Plus, I love the new options for what to wear. However, I do not love the in between stage when one size is too small and most things in the next size looks big!
- It was a cool morning and their thighs are getting chunkier, so I could finally break out the BabyLegs! (which, by the way, is having an awesome 4th of July Sale. And if you use the code SouthernBelleBaby, you get a % off. Thanks, Southern Belle Baby!)
(So much cuter in person. The picture doesn't do the cuteness justice.)
- We took our first stroller ride like "big kids" last week! Although, I don't think we're quite ready for the Jumperoo or Exersaucer yet. And I'm okay with that, because those things take up a lot more floor space than a bouncer!
- Our swaddling days are numbered. Both babies often break out of the miracle blanket in their sleep now. It's probably time to start keeping an arm out soon.
- I've stopped remembering how many weeks old they are and instead call them "3 1/2" months old.
- I'm crossing my fingers that Sam has finally hit the 12 lb mark when he gets weighed tomorrow! Anna's probably within a 1/2 lb of there too.
- Both babies slept about 11 hours straight last night- and we woke them up at 7 am. Slowly chipping away at our sleep debt...
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Twins Fans...
Having twins gives us an extra reason to be "Twins" fans!
Although we live in Wisconsin, we were both born and raised in Minnesota.
Deep down, I'll always be a "Minnesotan."
Friday, June 25, 2010
We're Off To See the Wizard...
We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz...
That's what I felt like when we hit the road Wednesday and headed for the GI specialist. I was crossing my fingers for him to grant me what I wanted most of all: appropriate medication for my twins to completely control their reflux and make them act like typical babies, rather than the kind that don't eat enough, refuse bottles, cry in pain from spitting up, and sleep poorly.
I had to go alone because my husband has a major deadline at work right now. So I packed up the kids and made the hour long drive there by myself. (This is not an easy task when you're outnumbered by infants that don't like carrides) We survived that with minimal issues and then hunkered down in the waiting room. And we waited. And we continued waiting for an hour and 15 minutes; just me and my two 3 1/2 month old babies in the waiting room. We talked, we read, we played with toys, we watched the fish in the fish tank, we took a few strolls around the room. They were getting pretty sick of sitting in their carseats by that point, but we still had to meet the doc and make the return hour-long trip home.
Once we finally got called back, the GI specialist was fantastic. I think he felt badly that he was so far behind that I had to wait that long. He listened very attentively to all the notes I had written about Sam and Anna's reflux history so far. He even asked to hold both babies and soothed them when they got fussy. Picture a very grandpa-like man, with a quiet gentle voice. The short version of chatting with him for an hour and a half is that he is totally agreeable to the amount of prevacid we are giving the babies right now (which their pedi was not). He is completely fine with using Buffer Babies to administer it.
He also agreed with my conclusion that Sam and Anna probably don't have a milk/soy protein intolerance because they don't have most of the signs, and that being on the uber expensive Alimentum is probably not needed. He suggested trying out a regular formula once the prevacid seems to have regulated their reflux and see how that goes. He also thought that the reason they are still not eating a lot (although they aren't refusing anymore) may be because Alimentum doesn't taste the best. He told me to taste it and see what I thought. I told him I'd rather not, because I've smelled it and that's good enough for me!
The GI doc also asked if we wanted some cans of Alimentum to make the trip worth our while to tide us over until we try the switch (which of course I said yes to). So he asked the nurse to bag up as many cans as she could find. The bag held 13 cans- which would probably cost over $160 dollars if we bought a comparable amount. She said to call if the babies end up staying on the Alimentum, because she'd contact the sales rep and have him give us a full case of it. His nurse even carried it to my vehicle in the parking lot for me, since my "hands were full enough."
Sure, I left after 6 pm and still had to make the hour long drive home with cranky babies- but the trip was definitely worth it to get validation that what we are doing (against my pedi) is what's best for our babies. I hope we don't have to see him again (because that means the reflux isn't under control and the next step would be invasive testing), but if we do, at least he's great to work with!
That's what I felt like when we hit the road Wednesday and headed for the GI specialist. I was crossing my fingers for him to grant me what I wanted most of all: appropriate medication for my twins to completely control their reflux and make them act like typical babies, rather than the kind that don't eat enough, refuse bottles, cry in pain from spitting up, and sleep poorly.
I had to go alone because my husband has a major deadline at work right now. So I packed up the kids and made the hour long drive there by myself. (This is not an easy task when you're outnumbered by infants that don't like carrides) We survived that with minimal issues and then hunkered down in the waiting room. And we waited. And we continued waiting for an hour and 15 minutes; just me and my two 3 1/2 month old babies in the waiting room. We talked, we read, we played with toys, we watched the fish in the fish tank, we took a few strolls around the room. They were getting pretty sick of sitting in their carseats by that point, but we still had to meet the doc and make the return hour-long trip home.
Once we finally got called back, the GI specialist was fantastic. I think he felt badly that he was so far behind that I had to wait that long. He listened very attentively to all the notes I had written about Sam and Anna's reflux history so far. He even asked to hold both babies and soothed them when they got fussy. Picture a very grandpa-like man, with a quiet gentle voice. The short version of chatting with him for an hour and a half is that he is totally agreeable to the amount of prevacid we are giving the babies right now (which their pedi was not). He is completely fine with using Buffer Babies to administer it.
He also agreed with my conclusion that Sam and Anna probably don't have a milk/soy protein intolerance because they don't have most of the signs, and that being on the uber expensive Alimentum is probably not needed. He suggested trying out a regular formula once the prevacid seems to have regulated their reflux and see how that goes. He also thought that the reason they are still not eating a lot (although they aren't refusing anymore) may be because Alimentum doesn't taste the best. He told me to taste it and see what I thought. I told him I'd rather not, because I've smelled it and that's good enough for me!
The GI doc also asked if we wanted some cans of Alimentum to make the trip worth our while to tide us over until we try the switch (which of course I said yes to). So he asked the nurse to bag up as many cans as she could find. The bag held 13 cans- which would probably cost over $160 dollars if we bought a comparable amount. She said to call if the babies end up staying on the Alimentum, because she'd contact the sales rep and have him give us a full case of it. His nurse even carried it to my vehicle in the parking lot for me, since my "hands were full enough."
Sure, I left after 6 pm and still had to make the hour long drive home with cranky babies- but the trip was definitely worth it to get validation that what we are doing (against my pedi) is what's best for our babies. I hope we don't have to see him again (because that means the reflux isn't under control and the next step would be invasive testing), but if we do, at least he's great to work with!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Books
Yesterday Sam and Anna went on their first trip to the library. We checked out a bunch of books to read together. Not that they don't have an extensive library of their own at home (I AM a kindergarten teacher, after all), but we read about 2-4 books a day together, and I've already gotten bored with the two full shelves of books on their bookcase. Being a teacher, I love reading children's books, and I don't usually reread a book until the next school year. I know once they get older, Sam and Anna will have favorites that I'll have to suck it up and reread again and again and again... but for now, I think we'll make walks to the library a biweekly event, since we are lucky to have a library branch right in our neighborhood two blocks away. I was so excited about our new selection, I read one right when we got home. To myself first; then to Sam and Anna later!
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Anniversaries and Such
We celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary yesterday... if I wasn't too tired from taking care of twins 24/7, I'd probably write a meaningful post all about being married to such a great guy and amazing dad... so you might just have to read what I wrote last year, instead. We did go out to eat just the two of us while my co-worker and her daughter babysat, so we are also keeping up our efforts to have a "date night" once a month.
We are also in the middle of the one year anniversary of the process that brought Anna and Sam into our lives... at this time last year, our IVF cycle was underway and I was just about to start the stim medication. Remembering so clearly what I was doing a year ago has made me very reflective lately... I am looking forward to July 5th as a special "anniversary" day as well, because that was the date of our egg retrieval. I feel very blessed to be able to know the exact date that Sam and Anna were created. That date will always have special meaning to me. It ended up that their baptism will be on July 4th this year- for several unrelated reasons, but I think it is very neat that they will be baptized almost a year to the day that God created them. More on the baptism later!
Sam and Anna have been changing so much lately: Sam recently starting having conversations back and forth with us when we talk to him. It is so fun to hear his voice babble like Anna's. He has also been very interested in his hands lately. Sometimes when he sits in his swing, he'll play with his own hands and stare at them intently the whole time, rather than looking around. Both Sam and Anna have been having fun blowing lots of spit bubbles too. Sam's hair has been growing in more, since he lost some of his newborn fuzz, as well.
Anna has begun to really drool and loves putting everything in her mouth (whereas before she'd always stick her hands in there). I think she'll be our first teether. She's also now mastered rolling from tummy to back and can do it pretty much instantly. She loves this new found talent, as she is our tummy-time hater. Now we have to work on trying to keep her on her tummy so she can continue building that muscle strength! Even though she rolled over at 3 weeks, rolls were few and far between until the last few weeks. When she's really excited and moving, Anna now has a move we call her "penguin arms"= she loves to flap her arms at her sides just like a little penguin... or maybe you could say it's seal-like... but I think I like "penguin" more. :)
Sleep: I'm sure I'm jinxing it for myself, but I'm going to go ahead and type it anyway: I think Anna is rounding the corner in getting past the 45 minute nap intruder. Lately she wakes up, cries for just a little bit and goes back to sleep. This sometimes happens a couple times, and then she's back out for good. Wohoo! I discovered this one day while I was busy trying to get Sam back to sleep and didn't get in to soothe her before she stopped. Now if only Sam could figure it out, but he's never been able to soothe himself back to sleep so I'm not holding my breath.
Within the last few days, both babies have begun grasping toys on their own as well. They have been holding ones we've put in their fingers for a while, but it is nice to place a toy in their carseat that they can self-entertain with while driving or in the stroller. They can also sit assisted pretty well now, in our laps or on the floor between my legs. Anna especially loves viewing the world sitting up, so I think our days of holding them like a "baby" are numbered. My little ones sure are growing up fast! How crazy that the next big changes will be starting solid foods and teething!!!
We are also in the middle of the one year anniversary of the process that brought Anna and Sam into our lives... at this time last year, our IVF cycle was underway and I was just about to start the stim medication. Remembering so clearly what I was doing a year ago has made me very reflective lately... I am looking forward to July 5th as a special "anniversary" day as well, because that was the date of our egg retrieval. I feel very blessed to be able to know the exact date that Sam and Anna were created. That date will always have special meaning to me. It ended up that their baptism will be on July 4th this year- for several unrelated reasons, but I think it is very neat that they will be baptized almost a year to the day that God created them. More on the baptism later!
Sam and Anna have been changing so much lately: Sam recently starting having conversations back and forth with us when we talk to him. It is so fun to hear his voice babble like Anna's. He has also been very interested in his hands lately. Sometimes when he sits in his swing, he'll play with his own hands and stare at them intently the whole time, rather than looking around. Both Sam and Anna have been having fun blowing lots of spit bubbles too. Sam's hair has been growing in more, since he lost some of his newborn fuzz, as well.
Anna has begun to really drool and loves putting everything in her mouth (whereas before she'd always stick her hands in there). I think she'll be our first teether. She's also now mastered rolling from tummy to back and can do it pretty much instantly. She loves this new found talent, as she is our tummy-time hater. Now we have to work on trying to keep her on her tummy so she can continue building that muscle strength! Even though she rolled over at 3 weeks, rolls were few and far between until the last few weeks. When she's really excited and moving, Anna now has a move we call her "penguin arms"= she loves to flap her arms at her sides just like a little penguin... or maybe you could say it's seal-like... but I think I like "penguin" more. :)
Sleep: I'm sure I'm jinxing it for myself, but I'm going to go ahead and type it anyway: I think Anna is rounding the corner in getting past the 45 minute nap intruder. Lately she wakes up, cries for just a little bit and goes back to sleep. This sometimes happens a couple times, and then she's back out for good. Wohoo! I discovered this one day while I was busy trying to get Sam back to sleep and didn't get in to soothe her before she stopped. Now if only Sam could figure it out, but he's never been able to soothe himself back to sleep so I'm not holding my breath.
Within the last few days, both babies have begun grasping toys on their own as well. They have been holding ones we've put in their fingers for a while, but it is nice to place a toy in their carseat that they can self-entertain with while driving or in the stroller. They can also sit assisted pretty well now, in our laps or on the floor between my legs. Anna especially loves viewing the world sitting up, so I think our days of holding them like a "baby" are numbered. My little ones sure are growing up fast! How crazy that the next big changes will be starting solid foods and teething!!!
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Weekend Road Trip Recap
We did it and all survived in one piece! The night before we left, Sam and Anna had a crummy sleep night (it's like they knew we were getting up early and needed quality sleep to get through the weekend's events) and so much coffee was guzzled en route to keep us alert enough to drive and manage babies. Sam and Anna weren't the ones drinking coffee, but they were pretty alert anyway. I am still amazed at how little they slept while laying in one boring place with the same stuff to look at for hours. They did both sleep through the ceremony once they could be in our arms once we got there. We left right after dinner (it was a casual wedding held at the home of the bride and groom and so dinner was more picnic style- think graduation/birthday party-like) since Sam and Anna were getting cranky, needed their medicine and it was starting to get past their bedtime. We were pretty tired too and enjoyed the excuse.
Overnight at the hotel went pretty well. Sam and Anna actually slept better than they had the night before, and stuck to their usual nighttime routine even though they were together in the co-sleeper. When my husband got up to feed Sam his one middle-of-the-night feeding (which we have no intentions of trying to get him to drop at this point, since how much the babies are eating has been a concern lately), he said Sam had unswaddled his arms and was hitting Anna in the head. Although she was making noises, she slept through it all.
The drive back had some good moments and not-so-good moments. Giving them their reflux medicine while driving pretty much stunk. Since it HAS to be given 30 minutes before they eat, we ended up stopping at a very little town in which the only fast food restaurant was a Dairy Queen. A Dairy Queen that we quickly discovered had only 10 tables in it... and the 9 occupied tables all stopped their conversations while we were there to stare at us. I'm sure we were quite the sight- toting two crying babies, trying to mix medicine, draw it up in syringes and squirt it into their mouths.
When you have two babies, it becomes pretty apparent that there's a lacking of gender equity in changing table locations too. Why don't men's restrooms have a changing table where ever a woman's restroom has them? Picture this: my husband and I each have a crying baby in our arms. I take one in, change them, then return to our table (that still has the syringes and medicine sitting out on because no one has a free arm to put it all away). We do the baby shuffle and switch babies. Then I walk back into the restroom and change the other. We could have escaped out of there much faster if my husband didn't have to sit and wait for me to change both babies. I think I'll have to start taking note of where the good changing table locations are. Note to self: Wendy's in Chippewa Falls: no changing table (since I had no choice but to change Sam's stinky diaper on the floor, I think I'll remember that one.)
The good part of the return drive: the babies were so worn out from their unusual weekend that they actually slept for almost 3 hours on the way back. We even ended up having to wake them up once we got home after we had unloaded and unpacked everything else. They haven't had a midday nap that long for over a month. I hope they remember how to nap longer than 45 minutes again tomorrow!
Overnight at the hotel went pretty well. Sam and Anna actually slept better than they had the night before, and stuck to their usual nighttime routine even though they were together in the co-sleeper. When my husband got up to feed Sam his one middle-of-the-night feeding (which we have no intentions of trying to get him to drop at this point, since how much the babies are eating has been a concern lately), he said Sam had unswaddled his arms and was hitting Anna in the head. Although she was making noises, she slept through it all.
The drive back had some good moments and not-so-good moments. Giving them their reflux medicine while driving pretty much stunk. Since it HAS to be given 30 minutes before they eat, we ended up stopping at a very little town in which the only fast food restaurant was a Dairy Queen. A Dairy Queen that we quickly discovered had only 10 tables in it... and the 9 occupied tables all stopped their conversations while we were there to stare at us. I'm sure we were quite the sight- toting two crying babies, trying to mix medicine, draw it up in syringes and squirt it into their mouths.
When you have two babies, it becomes pretty apparent that there's a lacking of gender equity in changing table locations too. Why don't men's restrooms have a changing table where ever a woman's restroom has them? Picture this: my husband and I each have a crying baby in our arms. I take one in, change them, then return to our table (that still has the syringes and medicine sitting out on because no one has a free arm to put it all away). We do the baby shuffle and switch babies. Then I walk back into the restroom and change the other. We could have escaped out of there much faster if my husband didn't have to sit and wait for me to change both babies. I think I'll have to start taking note of where the good changing table locations are. Note to self: Wendy's in Chippewa Falls: no changing table (since I had no choice but to change Sam's stinky diaper on the floor, I think I'll remember that one.)
The good part of the return drive: the babies were so worn out from their unusual weekend that they actually slept for almost 3 hours on the way back. We even ended up having to wake them up once we got home after we had unloaded and unpacked everything else. They haven't had a midday nap that long for over a month. I hope they remember how to nap longer than 45 minutes again tomorrow!
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
First Road Trip
This weekend will be a momentous occasion, and not just because my husband's aunt is getting married. This weekend will be the first time Sam and Anna go on a long road trip (a 3 hour drive) and the first time they will spend the night somewhere else since we brought them home from the hospital. This will be the first family gathering they will have attended as well.
It will be the first of many road trips since our families live in the adjoining state, but I'm full of stress about it all the same. I hope my little ones do well with all the changes and become seasoned travellers quickly.
Here's a list of everything I'm worried about:
It will be the first of many road trips since our families live in the adjoining state, but I'm full of stress about it all the same. I hope my little ones do well with all the changes and become seasoned travellers quickly.
Here's a list of everything I'm worried about:
- I'm worried they will get overstimulated and get super cranky and won't be able to sleep
- I'm worried their schedule will get majorly disrupted and they'll get super cranky and won't be able to sleep
- I'm worried that their reflux will be an issue and they'll be super cranky and won't be able to sleep
- I'm worried that since they'll have to share the co-sleeper at night they won't be able to sleep well and then will be super cranky.
- I'm worried that they won't tolerate the long time in their car seats and (you guessed it) won't be able to sleep and will get super cranky
- I'm worried that we'll forget something VERY important like the miracle blankets and ___(fill in the blank)
- I'm worried that their very likely crankiness will cause some of my in-law relatives to inaccurately judge my parenting skills.
- I'm worried that I won't have any time to figure out what the heck I'm going to wear!
Wish us luck!
Monday, June 14, 2010
Spoke Too Soon
Darn it, I should have known better. We're back at ground zero. While they are eating better, sleep is now practically non-exisitent- for both them and us. Last night I was awake around 12, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and up at 6:30 am for good. I miss my babies who at least took 30-45 minute naps and my great night sleeper Anna who STTN at around 6 weeks old.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Momma Knows Best
The reflux thing has gotten better, and we are slooooowly inching our way out of Reflux Hell (for the third time, mind you). My mom came to visit and help this weekend because my husband had to go into work on Saturday(since he's under major deadlines right now) and one more day soloing it was pretty much not possible given our status this week.
We switched the Rx Prevacid Solutab dose to before Sam and Anna's morning bottle, and both babies have begun drinking their first bottles much better. I began giving one OTC Prevacid dose (same 7.5 mg) in the middle of the day before their third bottle. It seems like each dose helps Sam and Anna drink well without refluxing for two bottles after they get the medicine. Here's how I know this: by the time we got to their last bottle of the day, all bets are off and my poor babies have been refluxing so badly they hardly drink at all and we spend hours trying to get hysterical babies to go to bed.
Gee, you think they need three doses of 7.5 mg Prevacid each a day to manage their reflux??? Our pediatrician might not know what my babies need, but I sure do!
We never had this problem with bedtime before, because we originally gave the one dose of Prevacid right before their bedtime bottle. It is so easy to tell that the Prevacid wears off, it makes me even more unhappy with our pediatrician that she won't prescribe the amount they need to manage the reflux successfully. But it also makes me very happy that I think we have found out what we need to do to make things better. So I added in the third dose of 7.5 mg and bedtime is smooth sailing again. Now Sam and Anna are back to drinking 5 oz each bottle and their weight is back to going up in an appropriate increase. Since they were weighed twice this week, we learned that Anna gained 4 oz in 2 days. This compares to the 1 oz she gained in 7 days the week before.
I'll admit, it is a HUGE pain to give the Prevacid 30 minutes before eating via a syringe three times a day. But it is a huge pain I'll happily experience to make my babies happier and healthier.
We switched the Rx Prevacid Solutab dose to before Sam and Anna's morning bottle, and both babies have begun drinking their first bottles much better. I began giving one OTC Prevacid dose (same 7.5 mg) in the middle of the day before their third bottle. It seems like each dose helps Sam and Anna drink well without refluxing for two bottles after they get the medicine. Here's how I know this: by the time we got to their last bottle of the day, all bets are off and my poor babies have been refluxing so badly they hardly drink at all and we spend hours trying to get hysterical babies to go to bed.
Gee, you think they need three doses of 7.5 mg Prevacid each a day to manage their reflux??? Our pediatrician might not know what my babies need, but I sure do!
We never had this problem with bedtime before, because we originally gave the one dose of Prevacid right before their bedtime bottle. It is so easy to tell that the Prevacid wears off, it makes me even more unhappy with our pediatrician that she won't prescribe the amount they need to manage the reflux successfully. But it also makes me very happy that I think we have found out what we need to do to make things better. So I added in the third dose of 7.5 mg and bedtime is smooth sailing again. Now Sam and Anna are back to drinking 5 oz each bottle and their weight is back to going up in an appropriate increase. Since they were weighed twice this week, we learned that Anna gained 4 oz in 2 days. This compares to the 1 oz she gained in 7 days the week before.
I'll admit, it is a HUGE pain to give the Prevacid 30 minutes before eating via a syringe three times a day. But it is a huge pain I'll happily experience to make my babies happier and healthier.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
3 Months!
At 3 months, Anna:
Is in size 1 diapers
Wears 0-3 month clothes, some 3 month
Weighs 10 lb 8 oz- 10%ile
Drinks amounts all over the board due to severe reflux. A bad bottle is 1/2 oz. A good bottle is 4 ounces. We shoot for over 23 ounces a day
Still spits up profusely
Drinks Alimentum formula and takes prevacid for reflux
Sleeps 8 pm-7 am most nights, but stirs in the morning around 6 am
Typically naps for 30 minute intervals and needs help getting back to sleep for longer
Uses size 3 Avent nipples
Adores sitting in a Bumbo because she loves to look at people and socialize
Is in size 1 diapers
Wears 0-3 month clothes, some 3 month
Weighs 10 lb 8 oz- 10%ile
Drinks amounts all over the board due to severe reflux. A bad bottle is 1/2 oz. A good bottle is 4 ounces. We shoot for over 23 ounces a day
Still spits up profusely
Drinks Alimentum formula and takes prevacid for reflux
Sleeps 8 pm-7 am most nights, but stirs in the morning around 6 am
Typically naps for 30 minute intervals and needs help getting back to sleep for longer
Uses size 3 Avent nipples
Adores sitting in a Bumbo because she loves to look at people and socialize
Is gaining more head control every day
Is able to sit well when propped against something
Is tolerating tummy time more, but still cries most of the time
Is super smiley and giggly if you talk with her
Is tolerating tummy time more, but still cries most of the time
Is super smiley and giggly if you talk with her
Will even smile and talk to you with a bottle in her month, causing formula to spill out!
Laughs if mama blows raspberries on her tummy
Has developed a tendency to munch on her entire hand all day long
Is a morning person and greets mom and dad with a huge grin every morning
Says Gaaa all the time
Laughs if mama blows raspberries on her tummy
Has developed a tendency to munch on her entire hand all day long
Is a morning person and greets mom and dad with a huge grin every morning
Says Gaaa all the time
Likes when you click your tongue
Enjoys the sounds the kick and play bouncer makes
Could sit in the cradle swing without it moving, staring at the mirror and rotating animals for a half hour
Holds a rattle and shakes it if you put it in her hand
Enjoys the sounds the kick and play bouncer makes
Could sit in the cradle swing without it moving, staring at the mirror and rotating animals for a half hour
Holds a rattle and shakes it if you put it in her hand
Has enough hand control to push away a bottle if she doesn't want to drink
Cries pretty frequently if she wants to be somewhere else, if she's tired, if she doesn't want to be held anymore, etc.- but can go from crying one second to super smiley the next
Cries pretty frequently if she wants to be somewhere else, if she's tired, if she doesn't want to be held anymore, etc.- but can go from crying one second to super smiley the next
At 3 months, Sam:
Is in size 1 diapers
Is growing out of some 0-3 month clothes, and fits perfectly into 3 month clothing
Weighs 11 lb 3 oz- 10%ile
Drinks amounts all over the board due to severe reflux. A bad bottle is 1/2 oz. A good bottle is 4 ounces. We shoot for over 23 ounces a day
Drinks Alimentum formula and takes prevacid for reflux
Sleeps 8 pm-7 am most nights, with typically one middle-of-the-night feeding around 4 am, but stirs in the morning around 6 am
Typically naps for 30 minute intervals and needs help getting back to sleep for longer
Has horrible gas that sometimes causes shrieks in his sleep
When trying to pass a BM, grunts incredibly loudly
Uses size 3 Avent nipples
Is not a Bumbo fan
Is in size 1 diapers
Is growing out of some 0-3 month clothes, and fits perfectly into 3 month clothing
Weighs 11 lb 3 oz- 10%ile
Drinks amounts all over the board due to severe reflux. A bad bottle is 1/2 oz. A good bottle is 4 ounces. We shoot for over 23 ounces a day
Drinks Alimentum formula and takes prevacid for reflux
Sleeps 8 pm-7 am most nights, with typically one middle-of-the-night feeding around 4 am, but stirs in the morning around 6 am
Typically naps for 30 minute intervals and needs help getting back to sleep for longer
Has horrible gas that sometimes causes shrieks in his sleep
When trying to pass a BM, grunts incredibly loudly
Uses size 3 Avent nipples
Is not a Bumbo fan
Does not bend his body well for a sitting position
Has pretty powerful kicks
Likes tummy time... but "forgot" how to roll over at 2 months for a few weeks
Discovered how to blow bubbles with his spit
Likes tummy time... but "forgot" how to roll over at 2 months for a few weeks
Discovered how to blow bubbles with his spit
Is entranced by the TV
Makes you work for his smiles
But rewards you with the cutest dimple when you do!
Makes you work for his smiles
But rewards you with the cutest dimple when you do!
Like when you make noise by vibrating your lips
Holds a rattle and shakes it if you put it in his hand
Holds a rattle and shakes it if you put it in his hand
Has enough hand control to push away a bottle when he doesn't want to drink
Is pretty easy going most of the time, but when he's upset, he gets so worked up his entire body gets red, heated and clammy and he cries so hard he chokes on his saliva
Is sometimes called Ram-Sam-Sam, Tomato-face, Buster, Buddy, Mr. Magoo
Is sometimes called Ram-Sam-Sam, Tomato-face, Buster, Buddy, Mr. Magoo
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Reflux Update- *More Added
Yes, the twins are now 3 months old, but for today I'm just not feeling a celebratory post. I'll aim for their 3 month post tomorrow, complete with a cute picture, because hey- you can still be miserable and cute at the same time!
We got into our pediatrician today (Although I did get a call from her nurse saying that an appointment was not needed since the suggestion was to keep trying the Nutramigen formula for another week. I argued that I thought it necessary we meet with pedi, so we kept the appointment.). The short version is that she agreed that Sam and Anna have been worse on the Nutramigen (Now refusing just about every bottle from the get-go. We can only get them to eat a solid amount of 3-4 oz when they are sleepy and ready for a nap). And we don't have to suffer through 2 weeks of "trying" the Nutramigen. However, her suggestion was to switch to Alimentum- basically the same thing (a hypoallergenic formula), different brand (Similac instead of Enfamil). She would not agree to increasing the prevacid amount, reinterating that she's never perscribed more than 7.5 mg daily. I even told her I knew several people who were on more and showed her printed out research I had done, and no go. I STILL don't think Sam and Anna have a milk/soy protein intolerance, which would make the Alimentum pointless. Our pedi wants us to do that because its the protocol the GI specialist wants before a referral is made.
Thanks to the Reflux Rebels group on babycenter.com, I decided to take matters into our own hands. Let's face it- I doubt the Alimentum is going to be the answer, since it is so obvious to me that they need more prevacid daily. We are going to give them OTC prevacid for two doses a day, and the Rx prevacid for one dose a day, for a total of 22.5 mg a day, as recommended from the Midwest Acid Reflux Children's Institute for their age/weight.
Our pedi did say their recent weight gain is borderline, but they are still doing okay because they gained well before this reflux flare up. She mentioned the possibility of admitting them to the hospital if we wanted to for extra help with them, since she at least understands the magnitude of trying to bottle feed two infants that are refusing the bottle by myself for 10 hours a day. We are obviously not going to do that, because having two babies in the hospital is not going to be less stressful for me than going at it alone during the day, among other reasons. My mom is coming out this weekend to help us, since my husband has a lot on his plate at work right now and needs to g into work this weekend. That will help.
We did get a referral to a GI specialist and have a consult appointment in two weeks. They said they would not make any changes before doing a PH probe on both Sam and Anna though... which they cannot get us in to until the end of July. Ridiculous. Although, again, I don't think there is something else wrong here, I just think my children need more medication!
So please cross your fingers that our plan to take matters into our own hands is the right path for us to take. I feel like our history of me getting prescribed Clomid for our difficulties TTC for months without any appropriate testing for what ended up to be MFI (making Clomid for me pointless) maybe happened for a reason... so that I would see beyond what our pedi is suggesting we do and be proactive in doing what's best for our children.
-------------------------------------------------
*After reading the 7 comments so far, I thought I had typed this clearly enough, but I'll explain a little more thoroughly: I wrote that we would give the 22.5 mg/daily - meaning spread out in 3 doses of 7.5 mg each. The site I linked to explained that babies metabolize 2-3 times faster than adults, so by giving 7.5 mg in one dose a day, it is doing next to nothing for most of the day. For those of you that give 15 mg- do you give it in one or two doses? If you give it in 2 doses, when during the day? I would be willing to start at 15 mg first (two doses a day at 7.5 mg each) and see how that goes before adding in a third daily dose, but I'm not sure how I'd spread it out. Please comment asap so I can attempt this today!
From what I read, you shouldn't give a dose after 6 pm, because acid production is very low at night (due to our genetic coding) and it would pointless to give it then. This also explains why my babies sleep well at night, but so badly during the day. This is why we switched the Rx prevacid to am, because we had been giving it before their bedtime bottle. So far, their bottle after that this morning was relatively good- both drinking 3 oz before refusing. They drank 2 more oz while they were sleepy before their nap. (It bothers me that we are no longer following the Wake/Eat/Play or EASY, but we gotta do what we can to get them to eat more at this point.) Big step when yesterday morning they wouldn't drink more than 1/2 oz when they woke up- even though it had been many hours since they last ate. So yay that is is only 8 am and they've both already drank 5 oz. Small victories at this point.
Cut and pasted info FYI:
(From a GI doctor) [Prevacid] SoluTab and any of the delayed release PPIs (the type of drug prevacid is) do not work at nighttime very well. Let me clarify, from 9 pm till about 2 am there is very little acid production (this is because of ancient genetic encoding). Ate the evening meal while day light 6pm or so, then go to sleep (then acid kicks in in early am (~2 am to 6 am) to kill any bacteria that were ingested). This remnant genetic predisposition is still with us. What do PPIs require to work??? (Answer: Actively secreting acid pumps). How long is the PPI in your babies system? (for approx 120 minutes after you give it). If the acid pumps (proton pumps) are not on during that time period then acid will not be blocked.
Is it possible to give too much PPI?
The short answer is no. Fortunately, PPI drugs are very specific in where they work in the
body. They are only active in a very specific place – that is the acid secreting cell,
parietal cell. Since PPI drugs only work on the acid secreting cell the chance of side
effects is very, very low–even if you give 3 times more than your child needs. In fact, PPI
drugs are known as prodrugs because they are not active as they pass through the body.
PPIs become active only when they pass into the acid secreting cell where the pH drops
to less than 3.
Clinical studies showing that higher PPI doses are required to achieve healing in
pediatric patients:
Gunasekaran TS, Hassall EG. Efficacy and safety of omeprazole for severe
gastroesophageal reflux in children. The Journal of Pediatrics 1993;123:148154.
Hassall E, Israel D, Shepherd R, et al. Omeprazole for treatment of chronic erosive
esophagitis in children: a multicenter study of efficacy, safety, tolerability and dose
requirements. The Journal of Pediatrics 2000; 137:800807.
Iarocci TP, Tan H, Singer, J, Barron J, Pilzer E, Patel D, Bakst A. Proton pump inhibitors
in infants. [Abstract] American Journal of Gastroenterology. 2005;100 (suppl.):S273.
Reviews of PPI use in children: pharmacokinetics, safety, efficacy, and dosing
information:
Israel DM, Hassall E. Omeprazole and other proton pump inhibitors: pharmacology,
efficacy, safety, with special reference to use in children. Journal of Pediatric
Gastroenterology and Nutrition. 1998; 27:568579.
(Specifically states that on a per kilogram (weight) basis, children require higher doses of
omeprazole than adults due to different pharmacokinetics of omeprazole in children.
Discusses at length the use of buffered PPI suspensions in children as a preferred dosage
form.)
Clinical study of pharmacokinetics of omeprazole in children:
Andersson T, Hassall E, Lundborg P, et al. Pharmacokinetics of orally administered
omeprazole in children. American Journal of Gastroenterology 2000; 95:31013106.
(Pharmacokinetic study showing the relationship between lower age and higher dosing
requirments in pediatric patients: younger children require higher and/or more frequent
doses due to shorter PPI halflife.)
We got into our pediatrician today (Although I did get a call from her nurse saying that an appointment was not needed since the suggestion was to keep trying the Nutramigen formula for another week. I argued that I thought it necessary we meet with pedi, so we kept the appointment.). The short version is that she agreed that Sam and Anna have been worse on the Nutramigen (Now refusing just about every bottle from the get-go. We can only get them to eat a solid amount of 3-4 oz when they are sleepy and ready for a nap). And we don't have to suffer through 2 weeks of "trying" the Nutramigen. However, her suggestion was to switch to Alimentum- basically the same thing (a hypoallergenic formula), different brand (Similac instead of Enfamil). She would not agree to increasing the prevacid amount, reinterating that she's never perscribed more than 7.5 mg daily. I even told her I knew several people who were on more and showed her printed out research I had done, and no go. I STILL don't think Sam and Anna have a milk/soy protein intolerance, which would make the Alimentum pointless. Our pedi wants us to do that because its the protocol the GI specialist wants before a referral is made.
Thanks to the Reflux Rebels group on babycenter.com, I decided to take matters into our own hands. Let's face it- I doubt the Alimentum is going to be the answer, since it is so obvious to me that they need more prevacid daily. We are going to give them OTC prevacid for two doses a day, and the Rx prevacid for one dose a day, for a total of 22.5 mg a day, as recommended from the Midwest Acid Reflux Children's Institute for their age/weight.
Our pedi did say their recent weight gain is borderline, but they are still doing okay because they gained well before this reflux flare up. She mentioned the possibility of admitting them to the hospital if we wanted to for extra help with them, since she at least understands the magnitude of trying to bottle feed two infants that are refusing the bottle by myself for 10 hours a day. We are obviously not going to do that, because having two babies in the hospital is not going to be less stressful for me than going at it alone during the day, among other reasons. My mom is coming out this weekend to help us, since my husband has a lot on his plate at work right now and needs to g into work this weekend. That will help.
We did get a referral to a GI specialist and have a consult appointment in two weeks. They said they would not make any changes before doing a PH probe on both Sam and Anna though... which they cannot get us in to until the end of July. Ridiculous. Although, again, I don't think there is something else wrong here, I just think my children need more medication!
So please cross your fingers that our plan to take matters into our own hands is the right path for us to take. I feel like our history of me getting prescribed Clomid for our difficulties TTC for months without any appropriate testing for what ended up to be MFI (making Clomid for me pointless) maybe happened for a reason... so that I would see beyond what our pedi is suggesting we do and be proactive in doing what's best for our children.
-------------------------------------------------
*After reading the 7 comments so far, I thought I had typed this clearly enough, but I'll explain a little more thoroughly: I wrote that we would give the 22.5 mg/daily - meaning spread out in 3 doses of 7.5 mg each. The site I linked to explained that babies metabolize 2-3 times faster than adults, so by giving 7.5 mg in one dose a day, it is doing next to nothing for most of the day. For those of you that give 15 mg- do you give it in one or two doses? If you give it in 2 doses, when during the day? I would be willing to start at 15 mg first (two doses a day at 7.5 mg each) and see how that goes before adding in a third daily dose, but I'm not sure how I'd spread it out. Please comment asap so I can attempt this today!
From what I read, you shouldn't give a dose after 6 pm, because acid production is very low at night (due to our genetic coding) and it would pointless to give it then. This also explains why my babies sleep well at night, but so badly during the day. This is why we switched the Rx prevacid to am, because we had been giving it before their bedtime bottle. So far, their bottle after that this morning was relatively good- both drinking 3 oz before refusing. They drank 2 more oz while they were sleepy before their nap. (It bothers me that we are no longer following the Wake/Eat/Play or EASY, but we gotta do what we can to get them to eat more at this point.) Big step when yesterday morning they wouldn't drink more than 1/2 oz when they woke up- even though it had been many hours since they last ate. So yay that is is only 8 am and they've both already drank 5 oz. Small victories at this point.
Cut and pasted info FYI:
(From a GI doctor) [Prevacid] SoluTab and any of the delayed release PPIs (the type of drug prevacid is) do not work at nighttime very well. Let me clarify, from 9 pm till about 2 am there is very little acid production (this is because of ancient genetic encoding). Ate the evening meal while day light 6pm or so, then go to sleep (then acid kicks in in early am (~2 am to 6 am) to kill any bacteria that were ingested). This remnant genetic predisposition is still with us. What do PPIs require to work??? (Answer: Actively secreting acid pumps). How long is the PPI in your babies system? (for approx 120 minutes after you give it). If the acid pumps (proton pumps) are not on during that time period then acid will not be blocked.
Is it possible to give too much PPI?
The short answer is no. Fortunately, PPI drugs are very specific in where they work in the
body. They are only active in a very specific place – that is the acid secreting cell,
parietal cell. Since PPI drugs only work on the acid secreting cell the chance of side
effects is very, very low–even if you give 3 times more than your child needs. In fact, PPI
drugs are known as prodrugs because they are not active as they pass through the body.
PPIs become active only when they pass into the acid secreting cell where the pH drops
to less than 3.
Clinical studies showing that higher PPI doses are required to achieve healing in
pediatric patients:
Gunasekaran TS, Hassall EG. Efficacy and safety of omeprazole for severe
gastroesophageal reflux in children. The Journal of Pediatrics 1993;123:148154.
Hassall E, Israel D, Shepherd R, et al. Omeprazole for treatment of chronic erosive
esophagitis in children: a multicenter study of efficacy, safety, tolerability and dose
requirements. The Journal of Pediatrics 2000; 137:800807.
Iarocci TP, Tan H, Singer, J, Barron J, Pilzer E, Patel D, Bakst A. Proton pump inhibitors
in infants. [Abstract] American Journal of Gastroenterology. 2005;100 (suppl.):S273.
Reviews of PPI use in children: pharmacokinetics, safety, efficacy, and dosing
information:
Israel DM, Hassall E. Omeprazole and other proton pump inhibitors: pharmacology,
efficacy, safety, with special reference to use in children. Journal of Pediatric
Gastroenterology and Nutrition. 1998; 27:568579.
(Specifically states that on a per kilogram (weight) basis, children require higher doses of
omeprazole than adults due to different pharmacokinetics of omeprazole in children.
Discusses at length the use of buffered PPI suspensions in children as a preferred dosage
form.)
Clinical study of pharmacokinetics of omeprazole in children:
Andersson T, Hassall E, Lundborg P, et al. Pharmacokinetics of orally administered
omeprazole in children. American Journal of Gastroenterology 2000; 95:31013106.
(Pharmacokinetic study showing the relationship between lower age and higher dosing
requirments in pediatric patients: younger children require higher and/or more frequent
doses due to shorter PPI halflife.)
Monday, June 7, 2010
Current Score- Reflux: 2, Me: 0
If you've noticed my absence from posting in the last week, it was for a semi-good reason: our battle with reflux is in full force again.
Sigh.
I am going to type something that I thought long and hard about first- and something that may irritate several of my readers. (There's your warning in advance, just FYI. If you are infertile and presently TTC, you might want to skip this post for today. I apologize in advance if you continue reading and are bothered by my post.)
Dealing with severe reflux for two infants at the same time is harder than anything I've ever gone through before. It doesn't have the personal empty heartache of infertility, or the longing- but it has more pain and more tears. There is a worse pain than your own pain- you cannot fathom it until you see your children in pain and you can't do anything to make it stop. It's on my mind all the time and I'm wore down and close to losing my mind all the time. With infertility there were harder days, but there were good days too. Days when I could recharge, avoid the reminders of what we didn't have and pamper myself. (Not that I need pampering. I just need opportunities to go to the bathroom a few times a day.)
My babies aren't eating well and they aren't sleeping well. Every bottle and nap is a battle. I dread when it is time to feed them again. They cry every time. I dread when it is naptime. They cry every time- more than they sleep. I feel like I can't meet my babies' basic needs and so I feel like a failure at this parenting thing. Add in the psychological crap that makes you doubt that you should even BE a parent because, hey- didn't you get the hint with IF? and the whole situation blows.
The 7.5 mg of prevacid isn't enough. We switched to Nutramigen (maybe we need to take out a second loan on our house to pay for the uber expensive formula for double the babies!) and have to give it 2 weeks before attempting anything else. So far, a few days in- no change. I really don't think our babies have a MSPI (milk/soy protein intolerance), I think they just have severe reflux and need more meds! Our pediatrician said she's never given more than 7.5 mg in a prescription, but I've read about people getting more for their infants. Ever since my initial OBGyn was totally wrong about our attempts TTC, I've been a little distrusting of doctors knowing the best course of action. I don't know what to do to make this better. But my babies are miserable. I am miserable.
I want to enjoy feeding them. I want to know that they are getting what they need. I want to be able to brush my teeth or get dressed or go to the bathroom without crying in the background. I want my sanity back.
I want happy, healthy babies. Is that really too much to ask?
(This also leads me to apologize for my lack of commenting on blogs. I do read your posts every night before I go to bed, but I just don't have the time or energy to comment. Sorry for my lack of appropriate blogging etiquette!)
Sigh.
I am going to type something that I thought long and hard about first- and something that may irritate several of my readers. (There's your warning in advance, just FYI. If you are infertile and presently TTC, you might want to skip this post for today. I apologize in advance if you continue reading and are bothered by my post.)
Dealing with severe reflux for two infants at the same time is harder than anything I've ever gone through before. It doesn't have the personal empty heartache of infertility, or the longing- but it has more pain and more tears. There is a worse pain than your own pain- you cannot fathom it until you see your children in pain and you can't do anything to make it stop. It's on my mind all the time and I'm wore down and close to losing my mind all the time. With infertility there were harder days, but there were good days too. Days when I could recharge, avoid the reminders of what we didn't have and pamper myself. (Not that I need pampering. I just need opportunities to go to the bathroom a few times a day.)
My babies aren't eating well and they aren't sleeping well. Every bottle and nap is a battle. I dread when it is time to feed them again. They cry every time. I dread when it is naptime. They cry every time- more than they sleep. I feel like I can't meet my babies' basic needs and so I feel like a failure at this parenting thing. Add in the psychological crap that makes you doubt that you should even BE a parent because, hey- didn't you get the hint with IF? and the whole situation blows.
The 7.5 mg of prevacid isn't enough. We switched to Nutramigen (maybe we need to take out a second loan on our house to pay for the uber expensive formula for double the babies!) and have to give it 2 weeks before attempting anything else. So far, a few days in- no change. I really don't think our babies have a MSPI (milk/soy protein intolerance), I think they just have severe reflux and need more meds! Our pediatrician said she's never given more than 7.5 mg in a prescription, but I've read about people getting more for their infants. Ever since my initial OBGyn was totally wrong about our attempts TTC, I've been a little distrusting of doctors knowing the best course of action. I don't know what to do to make this better. But my babies are miserable. I am miserable.
I want to enjoy feeding them. I want to know that they are getting what they need. I want to be able to brush my teeth or get dressed or go to the bathroom without crying in the background. I want my sanity back.
I want happy, healthy babies. Is that really too much to ask?
(This also leads me to apologize for my lack of commenting on blogs. I do read your posts every night before I go to bed, but I just don't have the time or energy to comment. Sorry for my lack of appropriate blogging etiquette!)
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Wordless Wednesday
(It is Wednesday, right? I have a hard enough time keeping track of the days of the week without a holiday thrown in the mix.)
Happy 12 Weeks Sam and Anna!
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Recent Developments
Anna just recently started truly having fun in one of our bouncers. It is the cutest thing to watch, and I'm loving that it can provide a much longer time frame of entertainment for her. This is the bouncer I'm talking about:
It has kick pads on the bottom- when you push on them, it makes different sounds and lights light up on the toy bar. Both babies have strong enough kicks that they can make the sounds and lights go every few seconds now. Anna grins from ear to ear when she can get it to go. She talks and kicks even harder, so you can tell she's getting excited. She's even laughed a few times. I love it!
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