Today marks the last day of National Infertility Awareness Week 2011. To recap our history, my husband and I tried to conceive for over 3 years before a door opened for us and we were able to undergo one IVF cycle. We gambled and won the jackpot by being blessed with the family we always wanted (2 children) that for too long we questioned would ever happen. While I do not consider myself "infertile" any longer, infertility will always be a part of who I am. It has shaped and molded my life into something that would not have existed without its influence.
Infertility robbed me of 3 years of happiness at the beginning of my marriage. Infertility ate away at relationships with family members and others that I cared about. Infertility made it difficult for me to form relationships at my workplace and do my job at my fullest potential. Infertility shook my body to its very core and shattered my emotional well being. Infertility made me question the worth of my life.
Going through the pain of infertility is something that no one can comprehend unless they've lived it. It is devastating on so many levels- how it affects your thoughts and dreams, how it affects every relationship you have: whether with your spouse, parents, siblings, other relatives, friends, co-workers and every other acquaintance from your neighbor to your church family. It's a medical condition that is not often validated by the general population which just spirals the devastating effects of its vicious ways.
In short, infertility sucks and no one gets it unless you've walked in the same shoes.
Words cannot explain how elated I feel that I was able to replace that pair of worn-out shoes. How happy I feel that so many people who walked the path with me have been able to do the same. But also how much my heart hurts that some are still walking and waiting for their some day, some way. Although my infertile shoes are gone, my feet remember how they felt- every lead filled step.
Infertility took away so much from me... but it also gave me so much.
Infertility gave me two children that would not have existed in the same way without its influence. Without it there would be no Sam and Anna- no twin giggles, twin triumphs and twin challenges. No unique opportunity to see two personalities develop at the exact same time but so very differently. Infertility made me a better wife and a better mother. It gave me the ability to let go. Obsess less. Enjoy the present for what it is. The ability to really cherish every single moment of parenthood. To be wiser about the less important stuff. Infertility made me stronger and through that strength gave me a better emotional state. Infertility strengthened my religious faith.
Infertility, despite the years of hell I felt like I lived through, gave me so much more that it took away. My wish is that the same is true for everyone who has walked in the same shoes too.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
Baby Sign
My last post on Sam and Anna's communication left out baby sign on purpose. I wanted to devote an entire post to this because using sign with Sam and Anna has been and is pretty important to me.
Here's a little background: when I was little, my mom sometimes took care of a little girl who was deaf. So because of that, my mom used signs before it was the "in" thing to do with small children. Growing up, my mom always signed yes, no, stop, please, thank you, and much more to me and my brother. (Just a little tidbit: yes and no are pretty handy when you are talking on the phone.) In college, I took a course on sign language. I've also incorporated signs including the letters of the alphabet, bathroom, stop, sit down and no into my classroom environment as well. (The sign for bathroom is one of the first things I teach a new class in the fall. It is fabulous when you are reading a book or working with a small group. You don't have to stop what you are doing or saying, just simply nod at the child and they go. It's awesome.)
So with all that, I really wanted to use baby sign with Sam and Anna. Since they go to day care because I work full time, I've been a little disappointed that I don't have the time I'd like to reinforce signing to communicate. They've understood signs like milk for a lot longer than they have been able to do them, but lately Sam and Anna have been showing and communicating through signs more and more, and that has made me really excited! I realize that they would know a lot more if they spent all day long with me, but instead of being sad about that right now, I am looking forward to this summer (30ish days of school left!) because I have a feeling their signing ability will really start to explode once they spend all day long with me, every day of the week.
The first sign Anna made was "all done!" She started signing this at the same time she starting saying it (her first phrase). She now signs "more" and "milk" as well. It is so fun to see her use all three throughout a meal. She uses more to ask for more food, and combines more and milk to ask for her sippy cup.
Sam doesn't use signs as much as Anna (I think he finds it works perfectly well to point with his finger to what he wants) but he seems to be more interested in signs as a whole. I think he's starting to connect making the sign "dog" to the concept of a dog. Sam understands "all done," "milk" and "more" but doesn't use them as frequently as Anna. Sam signs and understands "eat" as well.
We do have a few Baby Signing Time DVDs and I've just recently broken down and started playing them. (As a practice, we don't have Sam and Anna watch any tv. Baby Sign is now the only exception to that.) I'm excited to see how their signing progresses as they learn to communicate more and more!
Here's a little background: when I was little, my mom sometimes took care of a little girl who was deaf. So because of that, my mom used signs before it was the "in" thing to do with small children. Growing up, my mom always signed yes, no, stop, please, thank you, and much more to me and my brother. (Just a little tidbit: yes and no are pretty handy when you are talking on the phone.) In college, I took a course on sign language. I've also incorporated signs including the letters of the alphabet, bathroom, stop, sit down and no into my classroom environment as well. (The sign for bathroom is one of the first things I teach a new class in the fall. It is fabulous when you are reading a book or working with a small group. You don't have to stop what you are doing or saying, just simply nod at the child and they go. It's awesome.)
So with all that, I really wanted to use baby sign with Sam and Anna. Since they go to day care because I work full time, I've been a little disappointed that I don't have the time I'd like to reinforce signing to communicate. They've understood signs like milk for a lot longer than they have been able to do them, but lately Sam and Anna have been showing and communicating through signs more and more, and that has made me really excited! I realize that they would know a lot more if they spent all day long with me, but instead of being sad about that right now, I am looking forward to this summer (30ish days of school left!) because I have a feeling their signing ability will really start to explode once they spend all day long with me, every day of the week.
The first sign Anna made was "all done!" She started signing this at the same time she starting saying it (her first phrase). She now signs "more" and "milk" as well. It is so fun to see her use all three throughout a meal. She uses more to ask for more food, and combines more and milk to ask for her sippy cup.
Sam doesn't use signs as much as Anna (I think he finds it works perfectly well to point with his finger to what he wants) but he seems to be more interested in signs as a whole. I think he's starting to connect making the sign "dog" to the concept of a dog. Sam understands "all done," "milk" and "more" but doesn't use them as frequently as Anna. Sam signs and understands "eat" as well.
We do have a few Baby Signing Time DVDs and I've just recently broken down and started playing them. (As a practice, we don't have Sam and Anna watch any tv. Baby Sign is now the only exception to that.) I'm excited to see how their signing progresses as they learn to communicate more and more!
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Little Sponges
Sam and Anna are amazing me lately. Their ability to comunication and understand has just skyrocketed! It's so awesome to see and witness.
Sam's been in a repeat everything stage. He'll point all over the place, asking us to name whatever he's pointing at. Once we tell him, he tries his hardest to repeat the words. While reading a book, he'll point to all sorts of things in the pictures and repeat what he tell him too. My favorite in the last few days was telling him a monkey says "Ooo ooo ooo" and hearing him say "Ooo ooo ooo" right back.
The other day Anna took her socks off like she often does. I found them, held them up and asked her if she wanted her socks back on. She nodded yes, and climbed into my lap. Then she took the socks and tried to put them back on her feet on her own.
When we tell them it's time to go bye-bye they crawl towards the door. When we say it is time to eat, they head for their high chairs.
This is such a fun stage!
Sam's been in a repeat everything stage. He'll point all over the place, asking us to name whatever he's pointing at. Once we tell him, he tries his hardest to repeat the words. While reading a book, he'll point to all sorts of things in the pictures and repeat what he tell him too. My favorite in the last few days was telling him a monkey says "Ooo ooo ooo" and hearing him say "Ooo ooo ooo" right back.
The other day Anna took her socks off like she often does. I found them, held them up and asked her if she wanted her socks back on. She nodded yes, and climbed into my lap. Then she took the socks and tried to put them back on her feet on her own.
When we tell them it's time to go bye-bye they crawl towards the door. When we say it is time to eat, they head for their high chairs.
This is such a fun stage!
Friday, April 22, 2011
Thursday, April 21, 2011
One of Everyone's Fears About Day Care
My daycare provider did the unthinkable yesterday... she sent me an email in the morning that Sam took his first step- and walked about 7 feet from their kitchen to their living room. I tried to give myself a little time to find perspective on this one, but I'm still sad about it. You see, I missed it. I wasn't there. I missed his first steps. Not only did I miss it, but so did my husband.
I told her when we started going there to pretend all milestones didn't happen until we mentioned them first. That way I could be ignorant about either of my babies' ability to sit, stand, crawl or walk and live it like it really was the first time when I saw it. No one would be the wiser, except her.
I think she forgot that conversation. Or was just too excited to think about it before shooting off the email. (Totally understandable I guess, and I don't begrudge her for it really.)
My first reactions was not to cheer for my son's new found skill, but to hold back tears for not being there to witness it and cheer him on in person. I'm trying to just focus on Sam's accomplishment and be happy and proud of him. Every time I think about it that sadness just creeps in and makes me want to cry. Alas, this is the beast of daycare.
The fear of missing part of your little one's childhood.
The fear of someone else being there when you are not.
So Sam's taking multiple steps in a row... but forgive me if I just pretend for a while he's not. Until I see some steps for the first time, that is.
I told her when we started going there to pretend all milestones didn't happen until we mentioned them first. That way I could be ignorant about either of my babies' ability to sit, stand, crawl or walk and live it like it really was the first time when I saw it. No one would be the wiser, except her.
I think she forgot that conversation. Or was just too excited to think about it before shooting off the email. (Totally understandable I guess, and I don't begrudge her for it really.)
My first reactions was not to cheer for my son's new found skill, but to hold back tears for not being there to witness it and cheer him on in person. I'm trying to just focus on Sam's accomplishment and be happy and proud of him. Every time I think about it that sadness just creeps in and makes me want to cry. Alas, this is the beast of daycare.
The fear of missing part of your little one's childhood.
The fear of someone else being there when you are not.
So Sam's taking multiple steps in a row... but forgive me if I just pretend for a while he's not. Until I see some steps for the first time, that is.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Bit The Bullet
I gave in and did it today: We got Sam's hair cut.
Gosh, I've been simultaneously thinking about this and dragging my feet for close to 2 months now. Our daycare provider has been pretty anti-haircut every time I mention his hair, but I also got my first stranger comment about the length of his hair the other day. My in laws have said to Sam a few times, "the next time we see you, I bet you will have gotten your hair cut!" (Why do adults talk to us though kids, by the way? Like we don't get that they are really saying it to us.) But my mother illustrated her thoughts by telling me how long and tipped with curls my brother's hair was before she got it cut. Deep down, I know it doesn't matter one bit what relatives, strangers or our daycare provider says... its all 100% what we think. I think I've been ready for a while, but I was just scared that I would really, really regret cutting it. True, it does grow back, but you can never tape it back on, you know? I didn't want to get mad at myself (like I typically get after I get my hair cut) or cry.
Thankfully, I did neither.
Sam did well- after he got his first-ever sucker to focus on. He sat so uncharacteristically still, I was impressed! He only fussed a little at the end, mostly because I took his sucker away!
Goodbye, curl!
This is his "Mama, my hair is in my eyes, cut it already" look
Pacified with a yummy sucker
"Hey, give me back my SUCKER!"
Post- cut cutie (with a runny nose from crying because I took the sucker away)
Gosh, I've been simultaneously thinking about this and dragging my feet for close to 2 months now. Our daycare provider has been pretty anti-haircut every time I mention his hair, but I also got my first stranger comment about the length of his hair the other day. My in laws have said to Sam a few times, "the next time we see you, I bet you will have gotten your hair cut!" (Why do adults talk to us though kids, by the way? Like we don't get that they are really saying it to us.) But my mother illustrated her thoughts by telling me how long and tipped with curls my brother's hair was before she got it cut. Deep down, I know it doesn't matter one bit what relatives, strangers or our daycare provider says... its all 100% what we think. I think I've been ready for a while, but I was just scared that I would really, really regret cutting it. True, it does grow back, but you can never tape it back on, you know? I didn't want to get mad at myself (like I typically get after I get my hair cut) or cry.
Thankfully, I did neither.
Sam did well- after he got his first-ever sucker to focus on. He sat so uncharacteristically still, I was impressed! He only fussed a little at the end, mostly because I took his sucker away!
Goodbye, curl!This is his "Mama, my hair is in my eyes, cut it already" lookPacified with a yummy sucker"Hey, give me back my SUCKER!"
Post- cut cutie (with a runny nose from crying because I took the sucker away)Monday, April 18, 2011
Fabulous Finds
This past weekend was the big multiple resale near us. It is over an hour and a half drive from where we live, but well worth the miles for lots of goodies and deals! I went last year in April for the first time and got lots of clothes for Sam and Anna. Last year, it was also the longest period of time I had been away from my babies in one shot.
They have a spring and fall resale every year. I did not go to the fall resale last time because I was too busy with back to school stuff and starting daycare. I really wanted to go this time because I was hoping to get good deals on toys for my little ones. Sam and Anna needed some new non-infant stuff and outdoor toys for summer... if it ever stops snowing around here (6-10 inches forcasted for tomorrow- April 19th). I was also looking for good summer clothes to round out their summer wardrobe.
Members (parents of multiples) get in to the sale an hour before the general public. It is well worth it! Sale workers even get to shop before members, but it isn't possible for me to work or sell in the resale since I live so far away. To give a good idea of the magnitude of it, I heard over 500+ people paid the $2 admission price to get in. There's so much stuff it was a little overwhelming, but you learn to just dig in and find stuff fast before someone else finds it instead.
I did get lots of summery stuff for Sam and Anna including a picnic table, cozy coupe and clothes... but there were two things that were especially good finds.
One of Sam and Anna's new toys is the Fisher Price Laugh & Learn Chair. I had been looking for this for awhile, ever since reading on Kendra's blog how much her twins Abbey and Luke love it. Anna especially likes this new addition to the toy rotation. She's a biter and will aim right for Sam if he gets near her in this chair. It's so cute to see her bounce up and down in it in happiness, and how she slides out of it when she's done sitting.
I got the Fisher Price Laugh & Learn House for a mere $12 (on Amazon for $90)! I knew Sam would love it because he adores opening and closing doors. I knew Anna would enjoy it because she has fun opening the oven of our Laugh & Learn Kitchen, sticking things inside, or playing peek-a-boo through the hole. I wasn't wrong. I have never seen them so over-the-moon excited for a toy. At Christmastime, Sam and Anna were little enough that the boxes and wrapping paper were more fun than the toys. When they saw this toy after I brought it home, they were so excited they squealed in excitement, bounced up and down on their knees, waved their arms in the air, and grinned non-stop from ear to ear. I wish I had gotten it on video. They also didn't stop playing with it from the second I brought it home until we made they stop to eat or do our bedtime routine. Upon waking the next morning, they were right back at it and played with the Laugh & Learn Home for hours, all day long. They LOVE this toy.
They have a spring and fall resale every year. I did not go to the fall resale last time because I was too busy with back to school stuff and starting daycare. I really wanted to go this time because I was hoping to get good deals on toys for my little ones. Sam and Anna needed some new non-infant stuff and outdoor toys for summer... if it ever stops snowing around here (6-10 inches forcasted for tomorrow- April 19th). I was also looking for good summer clothes to round out their summer wardrobe.
Members (parents of multiples) get in to the sale an hour before the general public. It is well worth it! Sale workers even get to shop before members, but it isn't possible for me to work or sell in the resale since I live so far away. To give a good idea of the magnitude of it, I heard over 500+ people paid the $2 admission price to get in. There's so much stuff it was a little overwhelming, but you learn to just dig in and find stuff fast before someone else finds it instead.
I did get lots of summery stuff for Sam and Anna including a picnic table, cozy coupe and clothes... but there were two things that were especially good finds.
One of Sam and Anna's new toys is the Fisher Price Laugh & Learn Chair. I had been looking for this for awhile, ever since reading on Kendra's blog how much her twins Abbey and Luke love it. Anna especially likes this new addition to the toy rotation. She's a biter and will aim right for Sam if he gets near her in this chair. It's so cute to see her bounce up and down in it in happiness, and how she slides out of it when she's done sitting.
I got the Fisher Price Laugh & Learn House for a mere $12 (on Amazon for $90)! I knew Sam would love it because he adores opening and closing doors. I knew Anna would enjoy it because she has fun opening the oven of our Laugh & Learn Kitchen, sticking things inside, or playing peek-a-boo through the hole. I wasn't wrong. I have never seen them so over-the-moon excited for a toy. At Christmastime, Sam and Anna were little enough that the boxes and wrapping paper were more fun than the toys. When they saw this toy after I brought it home, they were so excited they squealed in excitement, bounced up and down on their knees, waved their arms in the air, and grinned non-stop from ear to ear. I wish I had gotten it on video. They also didn't stop playing with it from the second I brought it home until we made they stop to eat or do our bedtime routine. Upon waking the next morning, they were right back at it and played with the Laugh & Learn Home for hours, all day long. They LOVE this toy.
Friday, April 15, 2011
13 months
Sam and Anna are changing a little less rapidly now developmentally than they were as babies, but are much more evolving into two very distinct people. I just couldn't give up the monthly sticker shots... so I found an etsy seller that would create 13-24 month stickers for me. (Picky Sticky does have 13-24 month stickers, but I didn't really like the bugs and trucks on them) Glutton for punishment maybe (at least a workout)? So I guess I'll be continuing the monthly stats too!
At 13 months Anna:
has 5 teeth, with #6 to break through any day on the top right
knows and uses signs for all done, milk, and more
says mama, dada, all done, water, Bella, dog, uh-oh, hi, bye-bye and more that I can't think of
transitioned away from babbling to gibberish: stringing different sounds together
has the most hilarious fake laugh- its contagious it is so funny to see
proudly walks behind our walker at every chance she gets
tries to bite as the first line of defense for toy taking
has developed a flair for the dramatic and throws herself backwards in a temper tantrum when she doesn't get what she wants
has grown more hair- enough for it to get a little bit of a wave in the back
has tried these new foods: sushi, shellfish, peanut butter, ice cream
eats sometimes like she has a hollow leg- close to the amount I eat for dinner!
loves broccoli and veggies the most with pasta a close second
is getting better and better at putting similar shapes in the correct holes, opening the busy boppin pals, stacking blocks and putting together the large little people blocks
favorite toy: our nesting blocks or the ride to walk toy
back to waking up a few times during nightsleep to fuss for a little bit
loves to tease Sam with her sippy cup or pacifier
still afraid of the vacuum and will cry unless you hold her
less interest in our dog Bella than before
likes to beeline for the dog's water dish and play in it or knock it over
will "help" when I'm getting Sam ready by handing you his hat or a wipe when changing his diaper
is more clingy when first getting home from daycare than before
At 13 months Sam:
is still holding steady at 6 teeth
loves just about any fruit especially oranges, bananas and strawberries
has tried these new foods: sushi, shellfish, peanut butter, ice cream
says mama, dada, Anna, Bella, dog, water, all done, hi, uh-oh , no, what's this? and probably more
says more words but less often than Anna
understands signs for all done, more, milk and dog but doesn't use them really
showing more interest in our dog Bella
loves to rub his head on people/dogs he loves
is a HUGE cuddle bug- one little affectionate guy!
likes to open mouth /bite kiss you
has become super clingy right away in the morning or after getting home from daycare or in the car
is a big mama's boy and wants 100% of mama's attention sometimes
pushes Anna away when he doesn't want her to get whatever he has, whether it is a toy or his mama
likes to push anything he can like a car
prefers to walk pushing the walk to ride toy from the side rather than from behind it
will walk with only one hand held, but refuses to attempt standing or walking alone
favorite toy of the moment is our nesting or wood blocks because he loves to stack them!
is getting better and better at putting similar shapes in the correct holes, opening the busy boppin pals, stacking blocks and putting together the large little people blocks
has temper tantrums by throwing himself forward (while Anna throws herself backwards)
likes to grab at his bottom during a dirty diaper change
likes to suck on wipes (ew!)
is very interested in the vacuum and not at all afraid
has developed the ability to drink from his sippy hands-free by holding it with his teeth- he's pretty proud of this feat
will crawl around with his sippy in his mouth (hands-free) if you let him
At 13 months Anna:
has 5 teeth, with #6 to break through any day on the top right
knows and uses signs for all done, milk, and more
says mama, dada, all done, water, Bella, dog, uh-oh, hi, bye-bye and more that I can't think of
transitioned away from babbling to gibberish: stringing different sounds together
has the most hilarious fake laugh- its contagious it is so funny to see
proudly walks behind our walker at every chance she gets
tries to bite as the first line of defense for toy taking
has developed a flair for the dramatic and throws herself backwards in a temper tantrum when she doesn't get what she wants
has grown more hair- enough for it to get a little bit of a wave in the back
has tried these new foods: sushi, shellfish, peanut butter, ice cream
eats sometimes like she has a hollow leg- close to the amount I eat for dinner!
loves broccoli and veggies the most with pasta a close second
is getting better and better at putting similar shapes in the correct holes, opening the busy boppin pals, stacking blocks and putting together the large little people blocks
favorite toy: our nesting blocks or the ride to walk toy
back to waking up a few times during nightsleep to fuss for a little bit
loves to tease Sam with her sippy cup or pacifier
still afraid of the vacuum and will cry unless you hold her
less interest in our dog Bella than before
likes to beeline for the dog's water dish and play in it or knock it over
will "help" when I'm getting Sam ready by handing you his hat or a wipe when changing his diaper
is more clingy when first getting home from daycare than before
At 13 months Sam:
is still holding steady at 6 teeth
loves just about any fruit especially oranges, bananas and strawberries
has tried these new foods: sushi, shellfish, peanut butter, ice cream
says mama, dada, Anna, Bella, dog, water, all done, hi, uh-oh , no, what's this? and probably more
says more words but less often than Anna
understands signs for all done, more, milk and dog but doesn't use them really
showing more interest in our dog Bella
loves to rub his head on people/dogs he loves
is a HUGE cuddle bug- one little affectionate guy!
likes to open mouth /bite kiss you
has become super clingy right away in the morning or after getting home from daycare or in the car
is a big mama's boy and wants 100% of mama's attention sometimes
pushes Anna away when he doesn't want her to get whatever he has, whether it is a toy or his mama
likes to push anything he can like a car
prefers to walk pushing the walk to ride toy from the side rather than from behind it
will walk with only one hand held, but refuses to attempt standing or walking alone
favorite toy of the moment is our nesting or wood blocks because he loves to stack them!
is getting better and better at putting similar shapes in the correct holes, opening the busy boppin pals, stacking blocks and putting together the large little people blocks
has temper tantrums by throwing himself forward (while Anna throws herself backwards)
likes to grab at his bottom during a dirty diaper change
likes to suck on wipes (ew!)
is very interested in the vacuum and not at all afraid
has developed the ability to drink from his sippy hands-free by holding it with his teeth- he's pretty proud of this feat
will crawl around with his sippy in his mouth (hands-free) if you let him
Monday, April 11, 2011
The Gap is Narrowing
In the first year of Sam and Anna's life, there were several babies I knew born a few months earlier or later than Sam and Anna were. I loved hearing all about their developmental changes because I either got an insight into what was coming up next or relived those special first moments, or was reassured that whatever Sam and Anna were doing was completely normal and within an acceptable range for their age. ...Or perhaps I may have even fallen into the mommy-trap once or twice and did some comparison (Face it, we all do it.)
Now that Sam and Anna are over a year old, that age gap has really narrowed, or even disappeared in some cases. There's this fuzzy timeline that babies around a year old give or take a few months follow. Little ones (I'm still trying to adjust to not using the term babies anymore) are learning to walk; learning to talk; eating and drinking more and more "real" food. They are developing their own distinct personalities more and more every day. I find there are babies several months older that are in the same place developmentally in some areas as Sam and Anna... but yet there are kids a few months younger in the same place in some areas as well. It's been a long time since I last mentally adjusted a little for Sam and Anna's earlier than their due date arrival into the world.
Sam and Anna aren't walking yet and I promise I won't have a single thought of concern until they are at least 14 months old. My nephew that was born a month earlier was walking at 9 months... but says no words. Sam and Anna each have about 10 words in their vocabulary. Sam and Anna are on 100% whole milk in sippies; no bottles and 100% eating what we eat (and have been for months)... while my nephew will only eat crackers beyond purees and sometimes takes an occasional MOTN bottle of formula in addition to a bedtime bottle. The once gargantuan size difference between the three of them is much smaller now. They seem to be peers now instead of worlds apart like they once were.
This isn't the only comparison I've been noticing. Babies I know born 4 months older seemed ages apart in that first year as well, but now they are standing side by side too. By kindergarten there will be completely no difference between Sam and Anna and babies born either 6 months earlier or 6 months later. (My disclaimer: Those summer birthdays do sometimes act younger than the rest of their classmates though.) The gap will continue to fade and I like that. I like I can relate to some moms more than ever now, too.
Now that Sam and Anna are over a year old, that age gap has really narrowed, or even disappeared in some cases. There's this fuzzy timeline that babies around a year old give or take a few months follow. Little ones (I'm still trying to adjust to not using the term babies anymore) are learning to walk; learning to talk; eating and drinking more and more "real" food. They are developing their own distinct personalities more and more every day. I find there are babies several months older that are in the same place developmentally in some areas as Sam and Anna... but yet there are kids a few months younger in the same place in some areas as well. It's been a long time since I last mentally adjusted a little for Sam and Anna's earlier than their due date arrival into the world.
Sam and Anna aren't walking yet and I promise I won't have a single thought of concern until they are at least 14 months old. My nephew that was born a month earlier was walking at 9 months... but says no words. Sam and Anna each have about 10 words in their vocabulary. Sam and Anna are on 100% whole milk in sippies; no bottles and 100% eating what we eat (and have been for months)... while my nephew will only eat crackers beyond purees and sometimes takes an occasional MOTN bottle of formula in addition to a bedtime bottle. The once gargantuan size difference between the three of them is much smaller now. They seem to be peers now instead of worlds apart like they once were.
This isn't the only comparison I've been noticing. Babies I know born 4 months older seemed ages apart in that first year as well, but now they are standing side by side too. By kindergarten there will be completely no difference between Sam and Anna and babies born either 6 months earlier or 6 months later. (My disclaimer: Those summer birthdays do sometimes act younger than the rest of their classmates though.) The gap will continue to fade and I like that. I like I can relate to some moms more than ever now, too.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Solo Starting Sunday
My husband is out of town for work this week again... I think I'm at the point when it's beginning to feel a little old hat to solo parent my two active babies, er I mean- toddlers for several days in a row. I wasn't worried or stressed about this week in advance like I have been in the past. (Understand that we have no family near us that can stop by to help. If there's something major that happens- like a emergency room trip, or a tornado, I'm all on my own. I tend to have bad things happen to me when my husband is out of town- like my car dying an hour away from home, locking myself out of the house or locking my keys in my car, or even setting the house on fire. This has made me a little trepidatious when he's been gone since Sam and Anna have been born- understandably, I think.)
The nice thing this time is that we're all done with bottles and medicine, so the time needed to wash and make bottles and prepare the reflux meds after Sam and Anna went to bed does not need to be devoted to that anymore. It will be a little easier to get us all out the door by 7 am because I won't have to give them each a bottle before we go. I may have worked up a sweat trying to feed, bathe, and get both of my very mobile little ones to bed tonight by myself, but it isn't as stressful as it used to be. (Sam and Anna are at a stage right now where they are a little jealous of the other one getting attention from a parent if they aren't. This will probably make this week a little more interesting when there's only one parent to go around!)
I'm just crossing my fingers that we have a good sleep week, because the hardest part is being up at all hours without having someone to tag team with when you have to get up at 5 am to get ready for work. Anna had a lot of issues with a storm this weekend and I didn't really fall asleep until the storms past around 3 am, so I really hope there's no lightning or thunder in store any evening this week! I think she was afraid of the lightning flashes, but she was okay as long as I was holding her (similar to other things she is afraid of, like our vacuum). I was finally able to keep her in her crib sleeping successfully at 2 am.
Sam had a little trouble falling asleep tonight probably due to the slight variance in our bedtime routine since it was just me or maybe due to the high winds in our area... at one point I went to listen at the door to see if he had finally fallen asleep and I swear I heard "Anna, wake up." This does not bode well for tonight's sleep...
The nice thing this time is that we're all done with bottles and medicine, so the time needed to wash and make bottles and prepare the reflux meds after Sam and Anna went to bed does not need to be devoted to that anymore. It will be a little easier to get us all out the door by 7 am because I won't have to give them each a bottle before we go. I may have worked up a sweat trying to feed, bathe, and get both of my very mobile little ones to bed tonight by myself, but it isn't as stressful as it used to be. (Sam and Anna are at a stage right now where they are a little jealous of the other one getting attention from a parent if they aren't. This will probably make this week a little more interesting when there's only one parent to go around!)
I'm just crossing my fingers that we have a good sleep week, because the hardest part is being up at all hours without having someone to tag team with when you have to get up at 5 am to get ready for work. Anna had a lot of issues with a storm this weekend and I didn't really fall asleep until the storms past around 3 am, so I really hope there's no lightning or thunder in store any evening this week! I think she was afraid of the lightning flashes, but she was okay as long as I was holding her (similar to other things she is afraid of, like our vacuum). I was finally able to keep her in her crib sleeping successfully at 2 am.
Sam had a little trouble falling asleep tonight probably due to the slight variance in our bedtime routine since it was just me or maybe due to the high winds in our area... at one point I went to listen at the door to see if he had finally fallen asleep and I swear I heard "Anna, wake up." This does not bode well for tonight's sleep...
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Good Updates
Sam's Milk Drinking:
We seem to be over the memory of the milk-vomit, hooray! Yesterday both Sam and Anna drank two full cups of whole milk by 4 pm (14 oz total each) and I'm thrilled! I know that it takes time for little ones to get used to the change and the taste but I also know that my husband still can't eat cocktail sauce due to a vommiting incident many years ago, and I can't eat strawberrries on a salad for the same reason. I'm glad that Sam's memory of similar things seems to have faded faster.
Anna's Sleep:
A few days after our trip we seem to be back on track. After several nights of multiple night wakings and being awake for hours at a time in the dead of night, last night I didn't wake up at all... which either means she slept straight through or that I'm becoming desensitized and slept through her crying. I'm going with the first one. We decided not to travel with the little ones for Easter. Next traveling trip is probably going to be at the end of May for their great-grandma's 90th birthday party and a wedding, so that will give me time to work up the nerve to go out of town again.
Napping:
For the meantime we've found a temporary solution to Anna being ready for one nap while Sam clearly is not. Over break I experimented with one nap and it had its good points, but was overall disasterous. They still want to start their nap at about 9:30, which is way too early for one nap! They did sleep for 3 1/2 hours (glorious!) but that still meant they were awake from 1 pm until 7 pm. Too long, especially for Sam! So this is what we're doing that is working okay for now to keep them both on two naps a day: We don't let them nap longer than 1 1/2 hours or later than 11 am for their first nap. That helps ensure that they will be able to take another nap in the afternoon... typically for an hour. For the first nap they can both be laid down at the same time, but for the second nap (at home at least) Sam has to be asleep before we put Anna in her crib in the same room if we want her to ever fall asleep. At daycare they are in different rooms so that isn't a problem there. For now it works. And that's all that matters.
We seem to be over the memory of the milk-vomit, hooray! Yesterday both Sam and Anna drank two full cups of whole milk by 4 pm (14 oz total each) and I'm thrilled! I know that it takes time for little ones to get used to the change and the taste but I also know that my husband still can't eat cocktail sauce due to a vommiting incident many years ago, and I can't eat strawberrries on a salad for the same reason. I'm glad that Sam's memory of similar things seems to have faded faster.
Anna's Sleep:
A few days after our trip we seem to be back on track. After several nights of multiple night wakings and being awake for hours at a time in the dead of night, last night I didn't wake up at all... which either means she slept straight through or that I'm becoming desensitized and slept through her crying. I'm going with the first one. We decided not to travel with the little ones for Easter. Next traveling trip is probably going to be at the end of May for their great-grandma's 90th birthday party and a wedding, so that will give me time to work up the nerve to go out of town again.
Napping:
For the meantime we've found a temporary solution to Anna being ready for one nap while Sam clearly is not. Over break I experimented with one nap and it had its good points, but was overall disasterous. They still want to start their nap at about 9:30, which is way too early for one nap! They did sleep for 3 1/2 hours (glorious!) but that still meant they were awake from 1 pm until 7 pm. Too long, especially for Sam! So this is what we're doing that is working okay for now to keep them both on two naps a day: We don't let them nap longer than 1 1/2 hours or later than 11 am for their first nap. That helps ensure that they will be able to take another nap in the afternoon... typically for an hour. For the first nap they can both be laid down at the same time, but for the second nap (at home at least) Sam has to be asleep before we put Anna in her crib in the same room if we want her to ever fall asleep. At daycare they are in different rooms so that isn't a problem there. For now it works. And that's all that matters.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Mini Babies R Us
Now that we have toddlers, there is quite the collection of stuff Sam and Anna have grown out of growing in our basement. Just this weekend, I retired our jumperoo and exersaucer from our living room. Now our living room seems huge! We were only really using them to contain babies for a minute or two and Sam and Anna have been so over them for a while now. We have baby clothes from preemie to 9 months boxed up in our basement (both boy and girl wardrobes; from summer to winter clothing), all our bottle paraphernalia (two drying racks, oodles of bottles, nipples, formula pitcher, etc.) and baby food making stuff, my extra large pregnancy pillow is taking up residence in the corner along with the infant car seats and 4 bases, bags of infant toys, and a play mat the size of Texas. I have pregnancy books, Bella bands, maternity bras and a few leftover maternity clothes. We have Bumbos, bouncers, swings, mobiles, car seat covers and snowsuits among other things I am sure I am forgetting. After hauling the jumperoo downstairs, I remarked to my husband that it's starting to look a little like a mini Babies R Us down there.
Because we are not planning on trying to have any other children, I don't foresee any of the stuff being used by us again. Because it took 4 years for us to become parents, most of our friends are past the first baby stage. I also don't foresee anyone we know having a first child in the near future to give some of our stuff to. Since the possibility of relocating to another state because of a job offer is very real right now, it seems like this is the right time to start purging the unused stuff out of our basement. Plus, as Sam and Anna get older, I know they will grow out of more and more things and the pile in our basement will grow and change with them.
I started posting a few things on craigs.list yesterday evening... and already got 6 emails about our rainforest jumperoo. (side note: I got the thing for $20 off of the same place in excellent condition. The same thing was listed for $40-$50 multiple times when I checked, so I posted the price as $30. It looks like we'll be making money off of that used rainforest jumperoo!) Almost everything I had started posting had at least one interested person. Whatever doesn't get sold there can go to the local consignment shop just a few blocks from our house.
My mother is a pack rat and so I usually have the opposite problem and have a hard time holding onto stuff unless it has a very clear purpose. So it surprised me when I hesitated in replying to the emails. I'm thinking that this is probably because I have so many memories tied to the things in our basement. Maybe I'm beginning to understand my mother's need to keep almost everything, just a little bit more.
Because we are not planning on trying to have any other children, I don't foresee any of the stuff being used by us again. Because it took 4 years for us to become parents, most of our friends are past the first baby stage. I also don't foresee anyone we know having a first child in the near future to give some of our stuff to. Since the possibility of relocating to another state because of a job offer is very real right now, it seems like this is the right time to start purging the unused stuff out of our basement. Plus, as Sam and Anna get older, I know they will grow out of more and more things and the pile in our basement will grow and change with them.
I started posting a few things on craigs.list yesterday evening... and already got 6 emails about our rainforest jumperoo. (side note: I got the thing for $20 off of the same place in excellent condition. The same thing was listed for $40-$50 multiple times when I checked, so I posted the price as $30. It looks like we'll be making money off of that used rainforest jumperoo!) Almost everything I had started posting had at least one interested person. Whatever doesn't get sold there can go to the local consignment shop just a few blocks from our house.
My mother is a pack rat and so I usually have the opposite problem and have a hard time holding onto stuff unless it has a very clear purpose. So it surprised me when I hesitated in replying to the emails. I'm thinking that this is probably because I have so many memories tied to the things in our basement. Maybe I'm beginning to understand my mother's need to keep almost everything, just a little bit more.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
We May Never Go Out of Town Again
On Friday we went on a 4 hour drive to visit my family (and for a job interview for my husband, but that's for another post if we seriously consider the position after it is offered) and Sam and Anna started out doing well. They fared relatively well in the car on the way there, especially since we didn't have time to stop except for emergency diaper changes.
Then during my husband's 3 hour job interview, they had lunch with momma ( lunch with twin 1 year olds all by myself- uff da!), we went to an indoor play park ( it was crazy full and busy with kids and I was again, all by myself) which gave them a bit to crawl and play and get out of car seats, and then I drove around while they took a second crap-nap in the car until the interview was over.
Although they only took short 10-30 minute naps, they did take two naps, so I was hopeful that the night would go well at my parents house sleeping in pack n plays. After all, we did the very same thing around the holidays, and it went okay.
That night ranked in the top 10 of worst-night-evers. Anna would not sleep for any sort of stretch without crying out. Every time she cried out, Sam would pop up in his pack and play and get started too. They were right next to our bed, so that didn't help matters. My husband finally gave up and spent the night sleeping on the floor to help Anna sleep. After that she did better because she could constantly see him.
We headed back Saturday night at their bedtime, which we have done in the past twice. It went decently the other times, so we attempted it again. Unfortunately, Anna did not sleep for a minute of the entire drive. That means she was awake an additional 4 hours past her bedtime... until we got home at 11 pm. Nothing I could do could make her settle down enough to actually sleep in the car. She whined or cried out almost the entire time. It was awful. Thankfully, Sam slept through it all though.
Probably needless to say, her sleep after that in her crib at home was better but not by much because she was one very overtired little girl. She cried out several times until morning. Now tonight she's had a really hard time settling down again for bedtime. She cried for almost an hour before finally quieting down- something that really never happens around here. It seems like our little trip has ruined her nighttime sleep for the time being. Since I got back to work tomorrow after having the week off for spring break, I am hoping this is a very temporary thing!
Then during my husband's 3 hour job interview, they had lunch with momma ( lunch with twin 1 year olds all by myself- uff da!), we went to an indoor play park ( it was crazy full and busy with kids and I was again, all by myself) which gave them a bit to crawl and play and get out of car seats, and then I drove around while they took a second crap-nap in the car until the interview was over.
Although they only took short 10-30 minute naps, they did take two naps, so I was hopeful that the night would go well at my parents house sleeping in pack n plays. After all, we did the very same thing around the holidays, and it went okay.
That night ranked in the top 10 of worst-night-evers. Anna would not sleep for any sort of stretch without crying out. Every time she cried out, Sam would pop up in his pack and play and get started too. They were right next to our bed, so that didn't help matters. My husband finally gave up and spent the night sleeping on the floor to help Anna sleep. After that she did better because she could constantly see him.
We headed back Saturday night at their bedtime, which we have done in the past twice. It went decently the other times, so we attempted it again. Unfortunately, Anna did not sleep for a minute of the entire drive. That means she was awake an additional 4 hours past her bedtime... until we got home at 11 pm. Nothing I could do could make her settle down enough to actually sleep in the car. She whined or cried out almost the entire time. It was awful. Thankfully, Sam slept through it all though.
Probably needless to say, her sleep after that in her crib at home was better but not by much because she was one very overtired little girl. She cried out several times until morning. Now tonight she's had a really hard time settling down again for bedtime. She cried for almost an hour before finally quieting down- something that really never happens around here. It seems like our little trip has ruined her nighttime sleep for the time being. Since I got back to work tomorrow after having the week off for spring break, I am hoping this is a very temporary thing!
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