My daycare provider did the unthinkable yesterday... she sent me an email in the morning that Sam took his first step- and walked about 7 feet from their kitchen to their living room. I tried to give myself a little time to find perspective on this one, but I'm still sad about it. You see, I missed it. I wasn't there. I missed his first steps. Not only did I miss it, but so did my husband.
I told her when we started going there to pretend all milestones didn't happen until we mentioned them first. That way I could be ignorant about either of my babies' ability to sit, stand, crawl or walk and live it like it really was the first time when I saw it. No one would be the wiser, except her.
I think she forgot that conversation. Or was just too excited to think about it before shooting off the email. (Totally understandable I guess, and I don't begrudge her for it really.)
My first reactions was not to cheer for my son's new found skill, but to hold back tears for not being there to witness it and cheer him on in person. I'm trying to just focus on Sam's accomplishment and be happy and proud of him. Every time I think about it that sadness just creeps in and makes me want to cry. Alas, this is the beast of daycare.
The fear of missing part of your little one's childhood.
The fear of someone else being there when you are not.
So Sam's taking multiple steps in a row... but forgive me if I just pretend for a while he's not. Until I see some steps for the first time, that is.
13 comments:
Ugh! That's hard!
It isn't happening until you see it happening, Mama! Coulda just been a fluke :)
Ohhh, I'm sorry you missed it:( I would be so sad, too.
:( That is hard. Maybe keep a camera there that way they can capture something new they do them while they are there? I've heard of other mommies doing that.
but YAY for his first steps!! What a huge accomplishment!!
:( That sucks! My mother-in-law's favorite thing to do when she kept Noah when he was little was to report to me that he rolled over for the first time, crawled for the first time, etc. Just pretend it hasn't happened yet! At least until YOU see it!
Hmm, maybe the provider had Sam confused with another baby and he hasn't really started walking and you'll see if for the first time. Hey, it could happen if you believe it! I don't think it's real anyways until the person who birthed him witnesses it with her own eyes!
As another working mother, I feel your pain. I missed my daughter's first crawling forward experience. But, when my husband asked me how that made me feel, I honestly replied that I have the rest of my life to watch her crawl (or walk, or jump, etc) and that is something my nanny won't get to do. The first steps are momentus, absolutely. But those aren't his only steps. They're not even his most important ones. Just his practice ones for when he shows off for mama!
Oh no! I am SO sorry! Oh that just breaks my heart!!!!
I agree, it didn't happen until you see it =).
IF it helps - and if it doesn't, please ignore, because truly, the last thing I want to do is be insensitive- I only work very part time, and my babies stay at our house with my husband, sister, or in laws while I am at work, and I STILL miss things all the time. So please don't feel bad about working and having daycare! =)
Can't wait to read all about Sam's (and Anna's!) first steps on here, whenever they happen!! =)
Ugh, how hard! Lauren started rolling over at the sitters. I was sad I'd missed it, but I'm sure walking is even harder.
I'm so hoping mine do it over the summer. Oh the summer... what I've been waiting for all year. I'm sure it will go by too quickly, and I hope that I'm not making it out to be more bliss than it is, but seriously, I can. not. wait!
How did you find your sitter? Mine found me, and so I am stressed about looking for one myself.
It didnt happen till you see it, that is the rule. No matte what she says!!!
Nope, din't happen. The first steps are the ones Mama sees!
I am so sorry that you missed Sam's first steps. I know that it broke your heart to hear that. I almost cried reading your post.
Missing milestones like that has to make you feel so bad for going back to work. If it makes you feel any better, I read in Fit Pregnancy today that studies have shown that children who have working mothers actually fair much better in life. It cited that these mothers had much better relationships with their children and that they had much more patience with thier kids. Add that to the extra income and all that buys your children...
I think it is a great idea to pretend it never happened and just imagine that the first steps he takes are the ones you see.
PS - Off topic, but we got about 8 inches of snow here. The weather warmed up today and it all melted. YAY!!!
So sad to miss his first steps and my heart went out to you picturing you sitting at your computer at work and reading the email. Bittersweet in that you are proud of your son, but wanting so much to be the one to see it or your hubby.
Good idea to plan on celebrating his first steps with you at home!
Oh, no, this IS a big fear! I'm so sorry you missed it. :( Although it's all for good reasons, I feel so bad for all of us who have to go back to work when we just want to be marveling at our beautiful babies!
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