Melt My Heart

We've moved beyond dadadada and other babbling around here at 8 1/2 months old- Sam and Anna have started repeating words we commonly say.

Anna's first "word": Bella- our dog's name (although I'm not sure she understands the meaning of it yet, she did actually repeat it without prompting after my husband said the word). This is not surprising to us at all, since both Anna and Bella are enthralled with each other. She repeated it when we did try to get her to say it again.

Not to be outdone, Sam's first "word" (again, although I'm not sure he understands the meaning of it yet, he did say it on his own, without prompting) was said a few hours later today: his was Anna. He repeated it for me a few times after I tried to get him to say it again.

Cue the "awwws...."

(This is a video of Sam and Anna chatting with each other- not saying "Bella" or "Anna." I just included it because I think it is cute! You can hear Sam babbling to Anna and you can hear Anna's current favorite sound to make: her gurgling noise.)

Thankful.

I've tried to compose this post in my head while I'm driving or in the shower; blowdrying or flat ironing my hair (the way posts usually come about for me) and I get caught up in the right words every time. I just can't put into words how thankful I am this year. I thought I was extremely thankful last year- but now I realize I was mostly thankful for what was to come and the closure of where I had come from. Now I am thankful for what is.

Today is Sam and Anna's In and Out Day. (I don't know if this is a generally accepted day or if it has a generally accepted name, but I'm calling it that.) It has been 37 weeks 2 days since Sam and Anna's Birth Day. Sam and Anna were 37 weeks 2 days gestationally old when they were born. That means they were in as long as they have been out in the world. How perfectly fitting that this days falls on Thanksgiving. I am so very thankful for the 37 weeks and 2 days that I was able to experience them in me. I am so very thankful for the past 37 weeks and 2 days that I have been able to hold them in my arms. And I am so very thankful for all the weeks and days to come that they will continue to be a part of my life.

There are no words to adequately describe the thankfulness in my heart. I am so very thankful for the miracles in my life. I am more blessed than anyone in the world that I was chosen to be their mother. And beyond that, I am at a loss for words.

8 Months!

Since I was a little behind on 7 months, it only made sense to wait a little with the 8 month post, so they were evenly spaced (that's the story I am sticking to, anyway!) So here we are at 8 (and 1/2) months!

At 8 months, Anna:

Is in size 3 diapers (I miss Pampers Swaddlers, though!)
Wears 9 month clothes, although I sneak in my favorite 6 month outfits from time to time
Weighed 15 lb 2 oz (gaining about a lb in a month) - almost 10%ile
Drinks 6-9 oz a time, 4 times a day
Now eats a snack or two each day in addition to three meals a day
In addition to the old list of foods, has recently tried meat including chicken, beef and turkey Other new foods include parsnips, cauliflower, zucchini, yogurt, acorn squash, oatmeal, multigrain cereal, cheerios, pancakes, stuffing, jello, white potato, corn, bread
Is increasing the amount of table food eaten at every meal
Makes the "Anna-face" when she's done eating (or just wants to be cute) which means she wrinkles her nose, and sniffs with a smile on her face
Lights up when she gets handed her sippy cup
Continues to wake a couple of times a night mostly due to overnight dirty diapers, but when it isn't that can put herself to sleep without interference
Now is super wiggly on the changing table making it hard to change her or get her dressed
NO LONGER SWADDLED!!!
Since she sleeps in a sleepsack, often ends up sleeping on her tummy facing in an entirely different direction
Takes 2 longer naps of 1 1/2 hours to 2 1/2 hours a day
Started swimming lessons and loves to try to drink the pool water
Still dislikes sitting on her own???
Has been cleared from Physical Therapy for her torticollis
Has army crawled a few inches forward
Rolling is her preferred method of transportation
Loves jumping in the jumperoo- throws back her head and arches her back so it bounces even more
Likes to bang objects together
Makes a "eh eh" barking noise to communicate wants- she makes that noise when she wants more food or wants our dog to come closer
Uses Dada to refer to both parents
Has developed some serious stranger anxiety (just in time for the holidays, ha!)
Loves playing with Mom's necklaces even more than before
Can wave goodbye
First tooth (bottom left) poked through... then promptly receded and hasn't been seen since



At 8 months,Sam:
Is in size 3 diapers (but often leaks through them at night)
Wears all 9 month clothing
Weighed 16 lb 11 oz (gaining about a lb in a month) - almost 10%ile
Drinks 6-9 oz a time, 4 times a day and still one MOTN bottle
Now eats a snack or two each day in addition to three meals a day
In addition to the old list of foods, has recently tried meat including chicken, beef and turkey Other new foods include parsnips, cauliflower, zucchini, yogurt, acorn squash, oatmeal, multigrain cereal, cheerios, pancakes, stuffing, jello, white potato, corn, bread
Is increasing the amount of table food eaten at every meal and has a superb pincher grasp
Has gotten much better at opening wide for spoonfuls of food as well
No longer falls asleep right at the end of his nighttime bottle instantly
Takes 2 longer naps of 1 1/2 hours to 2 1/2 hours a day
Starting swimming lessons and loves the pool!
Has also been cleared from Physical Therapy for his torticollis
Is now a sitting pro and can sit indefinitely if he wants to
Can stand while holding onto something for longer periods but still needs a spotter for spills
Is more confident in his crawling and can get from point a to point b in a direct path. Crawled from our living room to our bathroom without assistance
Likes to be adventurous and explore new rooms on his own
With his newfound freedom (thanks to crawling) discovered he loves cords and the glass on our entertainment center
Now gets changed on the floor most of the time because his extreme wiggly-ness makes it dangerous to change him on the changing table. He tries to flip and crawl right off the end!
Has serious stranger anxiety as well (also should make the holidays interesting!)
Is developing his sense of humor- this week tried to be funny by putting a pacifier in Mom's mouth and then laughing- right afterwards, he used a burp cloth to pretend "wipe" off Mom's mouth and laughed hysterically again
Likes to bang objects together
Favorite toy of the moment: besides books, our wooden blocks or anything that isn't a traditional toy: the Bumbo tray, a wooden spoon, the Puffs container, etc.

This Time I'm Saying Something

Last year about this time, I received a nasty comment. At the time I was third-trimester-pregnant with twins, trying to get through the same hustle and bustle holidays bring that everyone goes through. I was ready for a few days off of work, like most people are. I chose not to dignify the comment with acknowledging it on my blog, but it hurt. I simply posted a comment stating- if you don't like what you read on my blog- then DON'T READ IT. The negativity of the words affected me so much that the stress of the holidays combined with the hurt of the comment caused me to go into preterm labor and spend the night in the hospital, deathly afraid that my babies would be making their appearance at 26 weeks. I have kept this to myself since then, and I am only including it now in the hopes that people stop and think about how their words affect other people before blasting off a comment under the protective cloak of anonymity. I have moved on from that comment, but I have not forgotten it and have tried to keep a nice balance of the truthful, honest record of our lives and happy baby moments.

The fact of the matter is though, that this is my blog. This is my place to record what goes on with our lives. Someday I will go back and read my words and not just remember the fluff that the pictures show, but that I was a strong mom that got through the hard times too. I also think it is important for people reading to know that it isn't all sunshine and roses on the other side of the IF wall. If you are expecting that, then you will have a hard time once your IF is resolved. You will feel guilty for struggling or having a hard day- but you need to know that IT IS OKAY. Being a parent is hard. It is full of amazingly wonderfulness, but it can still be hard at times. Twins are not easy, severe reflux is not easy, being a working mom is not easy. I know I am not the only one walking in these shoes, which is precisely why I share my experience on this blog. I blog not only to have a permanent record of my IF journey, my pregnancy and my twins' first year, but to get that shared life experience of "me too."

This morning I received another nasty, negative, hurtful comment. This time I'm saying something- but then will delete this post sometime in the future so I don't have the negativity saved forever in my blog archives. My top pet peeves are: eye rolling (because it is disrespectful), improper use of apostrophes (the teacher in me), and hypocritical people. It boggles my mind when people throw harsh negative words around saying that they hate reading things they perceive as negative on someone's blog. First off- who are you to exempt yourself from being negative? If I am in fact truly being negative (although I don't feel I am), at least I don't direct it at someone and tell them that I pity the people that interact with and love them. Secondly, going back to my point I mentioned before- DON'T READ IT IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT. No one is holding a gun to your head. Move along and find a blog that doesn't depress you- it sounds like you might need it anyway if sharing my life depresses you any way. I don't feel like my life is depressing- I think it is amazing- full of excitement, never dull, wonderfully blessed and I would change very little of it if given the chance.

In my last post, I wrote how I got through a week of solo-parenting. In writing that, I am not complaining- I am celebrating my success in coming out at the end of the week still happy and able to get things done. My children were fed well, clean, and clean-clothed; my class was taught well and report cards were completed, and I did all that by myself. I am putting it in writing so that once several trips are under our belt and I feel like doing it on my own is not such a big deal, I can look back and remember when that wasn't the case. Just like how I felt proud of taking Sam and Anna out of the house by myself at 5 weeks old- but now its a routine practice and no big deal. I'm proud of how far I've come. If I was whining or complaining about the flu, I would have typed- "it's not fair that we got sick" or something along those lines. My reason for adding that we got the flu shot? Not so that I gave the impression that we shouldn't have gotten sick, but to avoid comments from people asking if we did or telling me that we should have.

If I was going to fill my blog with complaining posts- I would have post after post discussing the fact that Sam and Anna have not slept through the night in weeks. I would have post after post about the lack of support I get from my family. I would complain about how my mother could care less about what my children are doing, but constantly brag about my nephews. I would describe how sad it makes me to have missed seeing Anna roll both ways for the first time, miss her first tooth popping through (it has since receded), or that Sam and Anna light up when they see their daycare provider, but don't always even smile for me when I pick them up. I would have posts expressing how I wish my children were sitting better, crawling better or doing things it seems like other babies their age are doing. If I was complaining, this blog would be all about that. But it is not. Instead, I share their monthly milestones. Cute pictures that make me melt inside every time I look at them. Their progress in being good eaters.

I get it that this time of year is very difficult for many people. I have been there. I am still infertile even though I hold two babies in my arms at night. I have not forgotten. But any pain you feel does not give you the right to take it out on another person. EVER. I hope I can teach my children to be empathetic people and learn that. The world needs more empathetic people in it. The world needs to remember the longstanding rule: if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. If I don't like what I read on someone's blog, I don't comment, or if I continually don't like it, I stop reading- it is as easy and simple as that. SO please, if you don't like what you read around here- please stop reading. Do both yourself and my family a favor. Other people must like what I write- I get hundreds of views for each post I write, and I am the 3rd top multiple blog on Top Mommy Blogs, so if you don't, please move along.

I have always allowed anonymous comments, in the hopes that it will give courage to lurkers to comment and connect with others. Unfortunately, I cannot allow negative comments like this to bring me or my blog down any more, so from now on, all comments will be moderated and anonymous comments will not be allowed. I still hope people have the courage to comment on my blog, even if it is just a "me too." Thank you to those that read and supply positive comments often. If you are a lurker, thanks for reading as well, and I'd love to hear from you, too!

Emerging Again...

The past two weeks I've pretty much been in full-force survival mode. First, I plowed through a week solo-parenting while my husband was on a work trip. This was his longest trip yet since the babies were born, and encompassed an entire work week, in which I needed to play the role of full-time kindergarten teacher and full-time single parent to twin 8 month olds at the same time. Just when reprieve came and we were able to have a weekend as a family of four again, another hectic week geared up: last week was conference week at school, so I needed to endure two loooong work days, in which I didn't see my babies awake from 7 am when I left until 6:30 am the next day when I woke them up. Throw in two teething babies into the mix last week (that had pretty restless sleep most nights), and I was barely functioning come Friday.

I thought I would have this weekend to recoup my sanity, refuel my energy, and get some decent sleep. All that fell to the wayside when the flu came knocking on our door. (Just FYI- both adults in our household DID get the flu shot, and both Sam and Anna have had their first flu booster. Their second flu booster is next week). It hit me first, and less than 24 hours later my husband fell victim to the stuff-coming-out-both-ends flu. Let me tell you, the flu is no joke when you've got two babies that need caring for, but yet you don't want to get too close in fear that you will give it to them too. So far (knocking on wood) Sam and Anna are doing okay.

I felt better Sunday night, but my husband was still in the run-to-the-bathroom-every-hour stage, so I got very little sleep. I ended up taking Monday off of work so I could disinfect our house from top to bottom to attempt to keep the flu germs out of Sam and Anna's way and so I could take a nap. A benefit to being full-time working parents? I brought them to daycare anyway today, so that someone that was healthy could take care of them (and so I had time to disinfect everything and take that nap).

I am crossing everything I've got that somehow Sam and Anna avoid this nasty little bug. I can only imagine how much worse the flu is when you're not the one who is dealing with it- your two babies are.

Wordless Wednesday

Food Transitions

We've made a big jump in the food department in the last couple of days: We decided that since Sam and Anna have thankfully had zero food issues with any of the things we've been slowly introducing (despite their GERD) we would think about relaxing our current practice of waiting 4 days before introducing a new food. According to my go-to source for homemade baby food, www.wholesomebabyfood.com, around 9 months is when they suggest you can stop paying attention to the 4-day-wait rule.

Sam and Anna have had MumMums, puffs, banana and peas for finger food before, and have been doing really well. They definitely have a good pincher grasp and they make a chewing motion with their mouths. So on Saturday, we gave them some pancake pieces after their typical breakfast and they loved it! Encouraged by the start of our new food plan, we gave them some macaroni and cheese noodles after their typical lunch too. Then Sam and Anna had some white potato pieces after their dinner. They are on their way to eating mostly the same food we do.

Last week Sam and Anna tried meat for the first time- pureed chicken. Today we introduced beef for the first time. By the end of the week we'll have tried yogurt as well.

My babies are growing up so fast!

Now that we've got a crawler...

The world just got a little bit bigger for Sam. He has been rolling all over to get from one place to another, but not always in a direct path from point A to point B. Now that he is crawling, he is much more efficient to get where he wants to go. He has a penchant for the glass on our entertainment stand...

Bella's toy basket...

Pulling stuff down from the shelves in the babies' room...

And munching on cords- like the computer cord. (this I do not have a picture of since I thought it was prudent that I hustled to remove said cords from his mouth rather than stop and take a photo because nom nom noming on a electrical cord was "so cute.")

Anna's been pretty consistently a week behind Sam in physical developmental stages (maybe because she was considered as 36 weeks at birth and Sam was 37 weeks?) So I figure I've got a week before she's on the move very deliberately as well. I'm just glad they waited to both crawl until after Dad was home- whew! That was a close one!

Less Than 24 Hours To Go

I've been in survival mode this week- not a lot of time for non-essentials like blogging, and commenting, and even a good amount of sleep. My husband has been gone on a work hunting trip since Saturday morning. This has been his longest time gone yet since the babes were born. Thank goodness that this should be it until January. I'm beat.

More so than ever before, there are just not enough hours in the day. I'm a full-time working mom to 8 month old twins and this week that meant I was a full-time working single mom to 8 month old twins. I get up at 5 am on weekdays to get myself ready, and this week rushed to get them ready (dad usually does most of it since I have to be out the door by 7 am), rushed to school, rushed through the day to get as much as possible done there (it's one of our busy times at school- assessments for report cards, completing report cards, and getting ready for conferences which start on Monday) then rushed to pick them up, rushed to feed them, get them ready for bed and daycare the next day, then rushed to wash bottles and syringes for their medicine, rushed to make new bottles and mix new medicine and finally rushed to get ready for bed myself, hoping I *might* get over 5 hours before starting it all over again. Add in rushed to take them to swimming on Wednesday night and home again with the help of a friend as well.

Would you like to know the magic number of days it took before I cracked and broke down in tears from being overwhelmed? That magic number is 4. Four days in with wake ups and bedtimes and overnights and bottles by myself for 24 hours and I was done for. I think knowing that my plate being so overfull that I felt like I wasn't doing anything well because I had to do so much did me in. I wasn't spending quality time with Sam and Anna because I had to get them ready for the next day (get clothes out, feed them fast, baths, bottles, bed) during the time I spent with them. I wasn't being successful enough for my job because I didn't have enough time to get lessons ready for the next day, get report cards done on time, or make my room look beautiful for conferences. I was cranky with my students because I was so overtired and I couldn't cope with the student issues that came up during the week. I wasn't giving myself the attention I needed- I ate dinner at 10:30 pm one night, just happy that I got to eat, I was going to bed after 11 pm because of everything I needed to do, even though I was getting fragmented sleep from the babies and had to get up at 5 am myself. The luxury to have enough time to even do something as simple as shave my legs- forgetaboutit.

So going back to what I discovered early on with my breastfeeding saga: a happy mom=happy babies, I decided that I needed to take a day off of work- conference prep be damned. I brought them to daycare for part of the day anyway (with a wee big of mommy-guilt) and ran errands. Went grocery shopping. Did laundry. Took care of the pile of dishes. Took a nap that wasn't going to be interrupted by awake babies. Then I emerged with a better grip on my sanity, more able to tackle life solo-parenting twin babies while teaching full-time.

The knowledge that tonight would be my last solo bedtime helped a little bit too.

(Did I mention that I tackled Daylight Saving Time by myself on top of it? Thank goodness Sam and Anna transitioned fairly easily. Know how we did it? I let them sleep in Saturday morning- which they happened to do for about an hour. So I just changed our clocks a day early and went about our day an hour behind. That continued on Sunday because they went to bed an hour "later" than usual the night before, and that was that. Time change, no problem!)

Sam has something to share:

My mom got this shirt for us. I definitely felt like Supermom as I tackled this week!

What Do You Think???

I finally ponied up- decided my blog is here to stay and that something needed to be done about my "look". (Plus, I needed a little pick-me-up and felt like splurging on something for myself that was totally not necessary.)

I just don't have the time any more to play around with backgrounds, and I've never been able to figure out how to make a button (but not for lack of trying!) I have a button now- so I don't have to feel like such an amateur on Top Mommy Blogs (I'm not too proud to say that I'm tickled that I'm the #3 multiple blog right now. However, you won't have to worry- I'm never going to be the shameless vote-soliciting type.)

So what do you think? Those really are Sam and Anna's precious little newborn feet, too.

I loved Eileen's look so much, that I contacted Alison at Giggly Girl Blog Designs (thanks for the great connection, Eileen!) as soon as I saw it.

Copied in part from Eileen: If you like what you see, head on over to her design work page and have her work on something for you too! And while you are at it, show Alison some love. Her Egg Retrieval is TOMORROW for her IVF cycle and she needs lots of prayers and good thoughts from the bloggy community that this cycle will make her dreams of becoming a mother come true!

TIDWTFT

Things I Don't Want to Forget Thursday

Sam loves going under cribs- especially Anna's crib. He'll wiggle and roll (and almost crawl) his way under there everytime we are chillin' in the babies' room.

He also loves to chew on wooden things- he chewed on these blocks just like this for over 15 minutes.

Our dog Bella continues to increasingly enthrall Anna. I would not be surprised if Bella (or 'Ella) was Anna's first word. Notice that Anna is basically laying right on top of Bella's legs in this picture. Our dog is SOOOO good with both babies!

Anna has recently decided that blowing raspberries is an appropriate way to tell us that she's done eating a meal. This is cute until your white shirt has carrot spray all over it. This I do not have a picture of. :)

Wordless (kinda) Wednesday

How playing with toys typically works around here

Sam: Look at me- I'm so cute

Sam: Hmmm.... I have an idea...

Sam: Who me? I'm not doing anything sneaky.

Sam: Got it! Anna: Hey! I was playing with that!