Where I left off in my last post about the crazy beginning of my week:
Me alone sans husband for the week again. Sam vomiting like crazy over everything the night before two house showings. Me taking the day off work to clean like mad. Getting locked out of our house after the showing. More bad weather predicted for the following day.
If only I knew then the storm of misfortune that was a brewin' that I would have to weather in the days ahead...
Wednesday morning, I went to work. The winter storm warning threw down 9 inches of snow atop the ice skating rink-like roads that day. But still we had school although many around us did not or were delayed. Sam and Anna went to daycare. I got called midday about a house showing request for that evening, which isn't supposed to happen because we required overnight notice. I approved it anyway, because I hate to turn someone who might buy our house down, and I rationalized that I could pick up late from daycare and frantically clean for an hour after work. Most of it was clean from the day before, I just had beds to make, curtains to open, vacuuming and stuff to pick up. I forgot to add in the snow blowing of the 9 inches that had been dumped upon our driveway in my mental list. And I forgot that the roads would be treacherous so my usual 30ish minute drive would take twice as long. Thankfully, I was able to leave work right after the buses left, which bought me an extra half hour of time. Without that, I would have had 15 minutes to get our house showing-ready only.
So I drove as fast as I could, which meant I had only 45 minutes to do it all. I had my husband call a neighbor to quick snow blow our driveway and I was on track to get it all done in time. And then our daycare called me, and informed me that Anna was now vomiting all over. I quickly finished the last few things and headed over with a bucket, fully aware that I would have to be sitting in my car in below freezing weather, while my daughter sat in her car seat throwing up into a bucket for a hour while random strangers walked around our warm house. Thankfully, our daycare offered to let us hang out there for the hour and I just sat on the couch holding a bowl for Anna. Sam kept playing, and our dog had a blast playing with their dog in the backyard. We headed home as soon as possible, and Anna laid on our couch while I quick threw dinner together for Sam. Bedtime was only a little late.
Anna stopped vomiting after I put her to bed, but she started the waking-up-every-half-hour-or-so routine that Sam did Monday night. I started to feel a little queasy too, and ended up writing sub plans after midnight once I was sure that Thursday we wouldn't all be miraculously better. Unfortunately, since I left right after the buses left Wednesday, I was less prepared for the following day at school than I usually am. I also had a big meeting after school that had been rescheduled a bunch of times already that would need to get rescheduled again. Thursday Anna was mostly better and acted like herself, just with some diarrhea. But then our daycare provider called and told me that they all came down with the flu and would not be able to watch Sam and Anna on Friday. I was still queasy and bracing myself for the vomiting on my end so I wasn't sure what to do. I also could not be gone from school a third day if I could help it, so my husband agreed to take Friday off of work and travel home a day early. Daddy stayed home with then healthy Sam and Anna on Friday while I took my queasy self to work and pushed through it. I never threw up. I'm thinking it was from sheer willpower because I simply could not afford the time to be sick.
Saturday morning we had a Open House scheduled so we cleaned once again, but this time I at least had some help. 15 parties reportedly came through. (Here's the count so far with our house on the market in a month and a half: 13 showings. 2 Open Houses with 20 total groups through. And yet zero offers. Nada. Nothing. Not even one second showing.) Then Sunday, I'm sure you can guess what happened... Daddy caught the bug and started throwing up. Lucky him, he got to lay in bed all afternoon while sick.
It has been an epic week. An epic week that I really, really, really could have used a little break from this weekend to recharge and get down time before heading into another long week of solo parenting it Monday through Friday with double the standardized testing in Kindergarten and a long 12 hour work day on Thursday because of conferences. I hope, hope, hope that will be it with the above-and-beyond challenges though, because I'm all tapped out. And ready for a vacation someplace warm. Like Hawaii. Yes, Hawaii sounds very nice...
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
24 Hours I'd Like to Never Relive
Well, it happened. Vomitting sick kid #1 while on my own solo parenting Monday-Friday. But unfortunately, the fun times didn't end with just that.
Yesterday Sam and Anna went to our old daycare because our current daycare provider was sick. Sam reportedly did not fall asleep during nap, which I can believe quite easily, with the change in day cares for the day. He's the one that is most affected by change, and less able to roll with the punches. Unfortunately he's also the child of mine that really requires a nap to function well.
Besides being a little sensitive and attention seeking once we got home, he wasn't horribly behaved though. For dinner we had his current favorite- tortellini with red sauce. He (as well as Anna) ate a ton of tortellini, something that is not unusual by any means. After dinner though, he started complaining that his tummy hurt. I thought he made had just gorged a little and needed to go to the bathroom. But minutes after tucking him in to bed for the night, that tortellini and red sauce reappeared all over his bed. I got him into the bathroom for the second and third episodes, and the fourth was in a bucket in his bed, so I actually fared pretty well in the clean up department. I am very glad that it wasn't in the middle of the night and I didn't have to clean up everything then. Sam has actually never thrown up at home before, so I've never witnessed it. Before yesterday, he had only vomited once before and that was at daycare.
Red sauce: an unfortunate choice for dinner last night.
After that, Sam ended up waking up almost every half hour all night long. Fearing more vomit, I rushed in every time, which I'm sure didn't help with the frequency. He never vomited again, but asked for water every time. I was torn about what to do for the following day- because I wasn't convinced it was the flu. He had no fever. Overtiredness and gorging on food is not a reason to stay home from daycare, IMO. I was already taking the day off of work because I had gotten notified that afternoon about two house showings occurring then and I didn't know when and how I was going to clean everything in such short notive while taking care of Sam and Anna and working. Then Sam throwing up added another layer of difficulty. I wanted to keep Sam home from daycare with me the next day if he was really sick but yet a.) the showings would have meant eliminating his nap that day too, and b.) how on earth was I going to make my home spotless with a sick and vomiting 2 year old that I'm sure would need constant mama-ing?
I am really looking forward to living near family after this crazy period of our lives is over so that I am not all on my own when stuck in situations like this.
So mom of the year award goes to me- since he didn't have a fever at night or in the morning and hadn't thrown up since the initial episodes, I sent him to daycare anyway (yes, less than 24 hours after he threw up multiple times). Now I am even more sure that he got sick because of a combination of being very overtired and overeating so I feel a little better about my choice, but I still feel guilty about it. After bringing Sam and Anna to daycare at 7 am after a night of waking up every half hour (and not truly falling asleep until almost 1 am) I hardcore cleaned until the house showings.
Fun times. Fun times. And I thought trying to teach kindergartners extremely sleep deprived and with caffeine shakes was a challenge- making your bed while extremely sleep deprived when all you want to do is climb in it because it looks so cozy and the house is so quiet takes supreme willpower.
But the fun doesn't end. Because then the last showing locked me out of my own house. We do have spare keys in a secret location under a stone outside... but because of the major freezing rain in the past 24 hours, the location was frozen solid. I used a mallet from our garage to try to pry it loose... and only succeeded in creating flying projectiles of pieces of rock towards my face. Yes, one hit me on the face and it hurt. I gave up and called our realtor to ask her nicely if she would come let us in.
So vomiting, lack of sleep, two house showings midweek with less than 24 hours notice, getting locked out of the house and work drama from trying to take the day off (I'm omitting the details of that on here).
You can bet this mama had a glass of wine after the kids went to bed tonight.
It seems like I always get locked out of something when my husband is gone though, so at least I've got that out of the way now, right?
Now tomorrow we've got a winter storm warning (More freezing rain! 9 inches of snow! Gusting winds blowing the snow over the glare ice! Yay!)so I'll be trudging precariously to work 40 minutes away after dropping off my little ones at daycare at 7 am (I am doubtful of a third snow day off a school this year). The fun never stops!
Yesterday Sam and Anna went to our old daycare because our current daycare provider was sick. Sam reportedly did not fall asleep during nap, which I can believe quite easily, with the change in day cares for the day. He's the one that is most affected by change, and less able to roll with the punches. Unfortunately he's also the child of mine that really requires a nap to function well.
Besides being a little sensitive and attention seeking once we got home, he wasn't horribly behaved though. For dinner we had his current favorite- tortellini with red sauce. He (as well as Anna) ate a ton of tortellini, something that is not unusual by any means. After dinner though, he started complaining that his tummy hurt. I thought he made had just gorged a little and needed to go to the bathroom. But minutes after tucking him in to bed for the night, that tortellini and red sauce reappeared all over his bed. I got him into the bathroom for the second and third episodes, and the fourth was in a bucket in his bed, so I actually fared pretty well in the clean up department. I am very glad that it wasn't in the middle of the night and I didn't have to clean up everything then. Sam has actually never thrown up at home before, so I've never witnessed it. Before yesterday, he had only vomited once before and that was at daycare.
Red sauce: an unfortunate choice for dinner last night.
After that, Sam ended up waking up almost every half hour all night long. Fearing more vomit, I rushed in every time, which I'm sure didn't help with the frequency. He never vomited again, but asked for water every time. I was torn about what to do for the following day- because I wasn't convinced it was the flu. He had no fever. Overtiredness and gorging on food is not a reason to stay home from daycare, IMO. I was already taking the day off of work because I had gotten notified that afternoon about two house showings occurring then and I didn't know when and how I was going to clean everything in such short notive while taking care of Sam and Anna and working. Then Sam throwing up added another layer of difficulty. I wanted to keep Sam home from daycare with me the next day if he was really sick but yet a.) the showings would have meant eliminating his nap that day too, and b.) how on earth was I going to make my home spotless with a sick and vomiting 2 year old that I'm sure would need constant mama-ing?
I am really looking forward to living near family after this crazy period of our lives is over so that I am not all on my own when stuck in situations like this.
So mom of the year award goes to me- since he didn't have a fever at night or in the morning and hadn't thrown up since the initial episodes, I sent him to daycare anyway (yes, less than 24 hours after he threw up multiple times). Now I am even more sure that he got sick because of a combination of being very overtired and overeating so I feel a little better about my choice, but I still feel guilty about it. After bringing Sam and Anna to daycare at 7 am after a night of waking up every half hour (and not truly falling asleep until almost 1 am) I hardcore cleaned until the house showings.
Fun times. Fun times. And I thought trying to teach kindergartners extremely sleep deprived and with caffeine shakes was a challenge- making your bed while extremely sleep deprived when all you want to do is climb in it because it looks so cozy and the house is so quiet takes supreme willpower.
But the fun doesn't end. Because then the last showing locked me out of my own house. We do have spare keys in a secret location under a stone outside... but because of the major freezing rain in the past 24 hours, the location was frozen solid. I used a mallet from our garage to try to pry it loose... and only succeeded in creating flying projectiles of pieces of rock towards my face. Yes, one hit me on the face and it hurt. I gave up and called our realtor to ask her nicely if she would come let us in.
So vomiting, lack of sleep, two house showings midweek with less than 24 hours notice, getting locked out of the house and work drama from trying to take the day off (I'm omitting the details of that on here).
You can bet this mama had a glass of wine after the kids went to bed tonight.
It seems like I always get locked out of something when my husband is gone though, so at least I've got that out of the way now, right?
Now tomorrow we've got a winter storm warning (More freezing rain! 9 inches of snow! Gusting winds blowing the snow over the glare ice! Yay!)so I'll be trudging precariously to work 40 minutes away after dropping off my little ones at daycare at 7 am (I am doubtful of a third snow day off a school this year). The fun never stops!
Monday, December 31, 2012
The Post I've Been Meaning to Write for a Month
This post has been brewing for almost a month now. We have major changes occurring over here, and a part of that was responsible for my dismal posting in November. When you are mulling over completely changing major aspects of your life, it's a little hard to focus on much else. It may also be wholly responsible for similar absenteeism after the new year.
Here's the crux of the changes: My husband interviewed for and accepted a position at a new company. This new job is an increase in pay (yay!) and also closer to our family (yay!). This also means that we will be moving away from the state we've lived in for the past 10 years, and returning to the state we both grew up in (also yay!) He was able to put off his starting date until January 2nd (kinda yay) but that also means that even with waiting a month to start, the roots we've put down here can't all be uprooted by then (not yay).
In other words, we have a house to sell. I have a job to leave- not the sort of job where you give two weeks notice. On the upside though, the striping of my bargaining rights as an educator two years ago means I do not work under a contract anymore, so I can quit my job teaching kindergarten before the end of the school year.
So, when all that is added up, this is what we've got: Daddy's going to be staying with Grandma (my MIL) Monday through Friday while he works, and driving the 4+ hour drive home on the weekends. I will be solo parenting it Sunday night through Friday night every. single. week. Our house is on the market, and we've had 5 showings so far. Our current plan is that the kids and I are staying here until our house sells, because it would behard impossible to lose my paycheck and also add in a new mortgage payment or rent on top of our current mortgage. When we have a date of closing (pushed back as far as possible to give my school as much notice as possible), we'll make plans for all of us to be living together again 7 days a week. That may mean renting for a bit until this Mama finds a new job. That may mean living with my in laws for a short while too. I don't want to rush into buying a new home before I know where I will be working.
Although, this may be a even larger change than we originally thought. I've been pondering lately using this as an opportunity to leave the teaching profession. Ideally, I'd love to stay at home with Sam and Anna, and so some sort of telecommuting job with hours that would allow Sam and Anna to not attend daycare. In my wildest dreams, I'd love to try homeschooling them instead of sending them to public school in a few years. Teaching (and education) isn't what it used to be- in the 10 short years I've been a kindergarten teacher, it has changed a lot. I'm not sure it is what will make me the most happy anymore, and I'm not sure it is what will be the best fit for my own children either. Truth be told, the tragic events of December 14th at Sandy Hook Elementary is playing in a role in this line of thinking (but of course, not the only factors). Like many parents, I'm sure I was equally shook up about what happened. But, as a kindergarten teacher, I can honestly say that on the next Monday morning, I have never felt less safe at a place I've worked. I stared at those 19 sets of innocent eyes and felt the magnitude of the job I was and am entrusted with. That being their teacher also meant that I would take a bullet for them. But for Sam and Anna- the increase of testing, the increase of behavioral problems of other students impacting the learning of all, the lack of support from people outside AND inside the school walls, and now the concern for their lack of safety makes me question if a public school education is what's best for them. Like health care and the political system, education in America needs fixing too- and I don't see it happening anytime soon. And that is as far as I am going to touch upon Sandy Hook on my blog.
Pros to this big life change: 1. My husband's new job is 30 minutes from my parents and an hour from my MIL- pretty much in the middle of both. I am overjoyed to finish this monkey business of driving 4+ hours every time we want to visit grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. I am thrilled at the opportunities this will provide for Sam and Anna to build closer relationships with their grandparents. 2. Both of us have been unhappy at multiple parts of our current jobs for some time. My husband's current company is on track to be run into the ground because of poor management and decision making. Something needed to be changed on his job end at least, and he's very excited about the new things he will be doing at the new job. 3. All the other little things we don't like about where we currently are have the potential to be different and/or better. The things we don't like about our current house could be much better where ever we end up. 4.) If I do decide to get a new teaching position, our future net income could be considerably larger than now. My husband's larger salary on it's own may create opportunities that are not possible for us now- like homeschooling, or a job for me with non-traditional hours that allow for Sam and Anna to stay home.
Cons: 1.) Um- did you read the solo parenting while Daddy lives Monday through Friday in another state part above? I know I can do it because I can do hard things, but I can only imagine how much more difficult it may be when you throw in needing to have the house in pristine condition for showings in less than 24 hours notice, and while working a more than full time job as a kindergarten teacher at the same time. 2.) I love the current situation we have for daycare for Sam and Anna. I know there is no way we can find something just like it. (Our pastor's wife who has a childcare background takes care of Sam and Anna with only her 11 month old daughter there, and does preschool like activities with them, for a very reasonable price. Plus, they have been building such a good relationship with their pastor too- he's our youth pastor and he's soooo good with kids.) 3.) All the little things we love about where we live now we could lose. For example, the great park we have so much fun at, the local farmer's market, the local children's museum, the wood burning fireplace in our living room, living within walking distance of the public library, friends we'd leave behind, etc. 4.) Leaving my kindergarten class midyear would be extremely hard. Not just in the explaining it to my class and students' parents kind of way, but also in that I've taught kindergarten for 7 years at the same school. A huge amount of stuff in that super sized classroom is mine, and really will involve almost the same amount of packing, going though, etc. that our home will. Yuck- how on earth am I going to carve out the time to pack and move not only our house stuff but my classroom stuff- again, all while working full time and solo parenting two toddlers 5 days a week???
Overall, I'm going with the idea that to take steps forward, you have to be willing to take risks. We could have stayed where we were comfortable (here) and be resigned to the things we didn't like. Or we could take the risk that the potential of this opportunity has the ability to be so much better than our current now. Only time will tell- but I am excited at the possibilities once we get past this hard interim.
Here's the crux of the changes: My husband interviewed for and accepted a position at a new company. This new job is an increase in pay (yay!) and also closer to our family (yay!). This also means that we will be moving away from the state we've lived in for the past 10 years, and returning to the state we both grew up in (also yay!) He was able to put off his starting date until January 2nd (kinda yay) but that also means that even with waiting a month to start, the roots we've put down here can't all be uprooted by then (not yay).
In other words, we have a house to sell. I have a job to leave- not the sort of job where you give two weeks notice. On the upside though, the striping of my bargaining rights as an educator two years ago means I do not work under a contract anymore, so I can quit my job teaching kindergarten before the end of the school year.
So, when all that is added up, this is what we've got: Daddy's going to be staying with Grandma (my MIL) Monday through Friday while he works, and driving the 4+ hour drive home on the weekends. I will be solo parenting it Sunday night through Friday night every. single. week. Our house is on the market, and we've had 5 showings so far. Our current plan is that the kids and I are staying here until our house sells, because it would be
Although, this may be a even larger change than we originally thought. I've been pondering lately using this as an opportunity to leave the teaching profession. Ideally, I'd love to stay at home with Sam and Anna, and so some sort of telecommuting job with hours that would allow Sam and Anna to not attend daycare. In my wildest dreams, I'd love to try homeschooling them instead of sending them to public school in a few years. Teaching (and education) isn't what it used to be- in the 10 short years I've been a kindergarten teacher, it has changed a lot. I'm not sure it is what will make me the most happy anymore, and I'm not sure it is what will be the best fit for my own children either. Truth be told, the tragic events of December 14th at Sandy Hook Elementary is playing in a role in this line of thinking (but of course, not the only factors). Like many parents, I'm sure I was equally shook up about what happened. But, as a kindergarten teacher, I can honestly say that on the next Monday morning, I have never felt less safe at a place I've worked. I stared at those 19 sets of innocent eyes and felt the magnitude of the job I was and am entrusted with. That being their teacher also meant that I would take a bullet for them. But for Sam and Anna- the increase of testing, the increase of behavioral problems of other students impacting the learning of all, the lack of support from people outside AND inside the school walls, and now the concern for their lack of safety makes me question if a public school education is what's best for them. Like health care and the political system, education in America needs fixing too- and I don't see it happening anytime soon. And that is as far as I am going to touch upon Sandy Hook on my blog.
Pros to this big life change: 1. My husband's new job is 30 minutes from my parents and an hour from my MIL- pretty much in the middle of both. I am overjoyed to finish this monkey business of driving 4+ hours every time we want to visit grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. I am thrilled at the opportunities this will provide for Sam and Anna to build closer relationships with their grandparents. 2. Both of us have been unhappy at multiple parts of our current jobs for some time. My husband's current company is on track to be run into the ground because of poor management and decision making. Something needed to be changed on his job end at least, and he's very excited about the new things he will be doing at the new job. 3. All the other little things we don't like about where we currently are have the potential to be different and/or better. The things we don't like about our current house could be much better where ever we end up. 4.) If I do decide to get a new teaching position, our future net income could be considerably larger than now. My husband's larger salary on it's own may create opportunities that are not possible for us now- like homeschooling, or a job for me with non-traditional hours that allow for Sam and Anna to stay home.
Cons: 1.) Um- did you read the solo parenting while Daddy lives Monday through Friday in another state part above? I know I can do it because I can do hard things, but I can only imagine how much more difficult it may be when you throw in needing to have the house in pristine condition for showings in less than 24 hours notice, and while working a more than full time job as a kindergarten teacher at the same time. 2.) I love the current situation we have for daycare for Sam and Anna. I know there is no way we can find something just like it. (Our pastor's wife who has a childcare background takes care of Sam and Anna with only her 11 month old daughter there, and does preschool like activities with them, for a very reasonable price. Plus, they have been building such a good relationship with their pastor too- he's our youth pastor and he's soooo good with kids.) 3.) All the little things we love about where we live now we could lose. For example, the great park we have so much fun at, the local farmer's market, the local children's museum, the wood burning fireplace in our living room, living within walking distance of the public library, friends we'd leave behind, etc. 4.) Leaving my kindergarten class midyear would be extremely hard. Not just in the explaining it to my class and students' parents kind of way, but also in that I've taught kindergarten for 7 years at the same school. A huge amount of stuff in that super sized classroom is mine, and really will involve almost the same amount of packing, going though, etc. that our home will. Yuck- how on earth am I going to carve out the time to pack and move not only our house stuff but my classroom stuff- again, all while working full time and solo parenting two toddlers 5 days a week???
Overall, I'm going with the idea that to take steps forward, you have to be willing to take risks. We could have stayed where we were comfortable (here) and be resigned to the things we didn't like. Or we could take the risk that the potential of this opportunity has the ability to be so much better than our current now. Only time will tell- but I am excited at the possibilities once we get past this hard interim.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Life.
What a week. What a weekend. I had fully intended to get back on the blogging wagon with my short burst of a few posts a week or so ago. Then life happened. As in, new state mandated standardized testing for kindergarten in which I spent no less than 8 completely dedicated hours assessing my students this past week. And I'm still not done. Then a college friend of mine succumbed to the aggressive cancer she was first told about 6 short months ago. She was 28 when she died- and one of the few truly wonderful women without a fault that I can identify in this world. It's been a tough week.
We drove Friday night after work to our home state to attend the funeral on Saturday. Luckily, my MIL lives 30 minutes from where it was, so we had a babysitter for the day. Unluckily for us, but that looonggggg car ride meant that our still WON'T SLEEP IN THE CAR twosome fell asleep Friday night at 11:30 pm. Slap-happy overtired toddlers can be entertaining, but stressful too. (My favorite part was telling Anna to "hang on" in a gas station bathroom and after grabbing the coat hook and dangling her feet, said "I hanging on!" Also unluckily for us, but Anna forgot she was potty trained and peed in her car seat, with several hours to go to our destination. Luckily for us, my MIL had a washer we could use when we arrived. What's even more awesome than driving with two overtired toddlers for 6 hours and then doing laundry at midnight? That it was all so we could attend the funeral of my 28 year old friend the next day.
We returned home on Saturday night because I was determined that we would a.) go to a pumpkin patch this year and the wet weather had prevented it so far plus my husband will be on a work trip next weekend so it was Sunday or never as a family this year. b.) have some good aspect of the weekend so it wouldn't completely blow and c.) rake our leaves because our leaf pickup for our area starts Monday and again, the wet weather had prevented it so far so it was now or never.
Anna had yet another accident in her car seat with hours to go in our drive on the way back and so I waved my white flag, bought diapers at a gas station and told Sam and Anna that we now wear diapers for long car rides. At least that meant we weren't stopping 5+ times for icky gas station bathroom breaks. Sam and Anna went to sleep at 10:30 pm (so at least a little earlier than the night before) after again, NOT SLEEPING IN THE CAR ONE SECOND and the side effect meant they slept in the next morning until 8:30 am. We salvaged our weekend with a perfectly fun time at the pumpkin patch Sunday morning, decent naps to catch up on their sleep deficit, ample time to get the millions of leaves in our yard to the curb, 8 loads of laundry,washing and changing sheets on three beds (and I thought changing the bedding on cribs was a pain), and pumpkin carving since Daddy's leaving town in a few days until Halloween morning.
Whew!
I have high hopes for a less stressful, less of a downer week.
We drove Friday night after work to our home state to attend the funeral on Saturday. Luckily, my MIL lives 30 minutes from where it was, so we had a babysitter for the day. Unluckily for us, but that looonggggg car ride meant that our still WON'T SLEEP IN THE CAR twosome fell asleep Friday night at 11:30 pm. Slap-happy overtired toddlers can be entertaining, but stressful too. (My favorite part was telling Anna to "hang on" in a gas station bathroom and after grabbing the coat hook and dangling her feet, said "I hanging on!" Also unluckily for us, but Anna forgot she was potty trained and peed in her car seat, with several hours to go to our destination. Luckily for us, my MIL had a washer we could use when we arrived. What's even more awesome than driving with two overtired toddlers for 6 hours and then doing laundry at midnight? That it was all so we could attend the funeral of my 28 year old friend the next day.
We returned home on Saturday night because I was determined that we would a.) go to a pumpkin patch this year and the wet weather had prevented it so far plus my husband will be on a work trip next weekend so it was Sunday or never as a family this year. b.) have some good aspect of the weekend so it wouldn't completely blow and c.) rake our leaves because our leaf pickup for our area starts Monday and again, the wet weather had prevented it so far so it was now or never.
Anna had yet another accident in her car seat with hours to go in our drive on the way back and so I waved my white flag, bought diapers at a gas station and told Sam and Anna that we now wear diapers for long car rides. At least that meant we weren't stopping 5+ times for icky gas station bathroom breaks. Sam and Anna went to sleep at 10:30 pm (so at least a little earlier than the night before) after again, NOT SLEEPING IN THE CAR ONE SECOND and the side effect meant they slept in the next morning until 8:30 am. We salvaged our weekend with a perfectly fun time at the pumpkin patch Sunday morning, decent naps to catch up on their sleep deficit, ample time to get the millions of leaves in our yard to the curb, 8 loads of laundry,washing and changing sheets on three beds (and I thought changing the bedding on cribs was a pain), and pumpkin carving since Daddy's leaving town in a few days until Halloween morning.
Whew!
I have high hopes for a less stressful, less of a downer week.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Perspective
I'm in the middle of my second week of several days in a row of solo parenting. There will be a third trip taken by my husband this month at the end of the week, making it 3 solo parenting expeditions in as many weeks. This time of year is rough for me anyway, with the end of the grading period, massive assessments for report cards, completing report cards, preparing and then conducting conferences on two longgggg days. It hasn't been easy on a lot of levels, also because Sam's cutting 2 teeth right now, and hasn't been his usual happy self (meaning multiple night wakings, starting his day before 6 am, lots of fussing, lots of crabbiness which manifests in kicking and hitting and extra clingy-ness). Do I also need to mention that things that are tough on my own two children make my job tougher at the same time- like time changes, weather changes, etc by bringing out the crazies in my students and their parents?
I'm longing for the days when my husband is home again for more than a few days in between trips. Longing for a break to go somewhere sans two toddlers under two. Ready for a return to normal with no unexpected power outages, or crazy parents of students making my job harder than it already is. Ready for a little help at home. Excited to go to the bathroom without an audience.
This post is about more than that though. As I was thinking about typing up something here, I read a comment on another blog that stuck with me. Veteran's Day was on Friday, and there are so many families that are in similar situations to mine... except their parenting partner doesn't have the luxury of a few days home every week. Many families have a parent deployed and are solo parenting for much, much longer than I have been. When I keep that in my mind, solo parenting my twin toddlers for the second week in a row right before a 12 hour day of parent teacher conferences doesn't seem all that bad, after all.
I'm longing for the days when my husband is home again for more than a few days in between trips. Longing for a break to go somewhere sans two toddlers under two. Ready for a return to normal with no unexpected power outages, or crazy parents of students making my job harder than it already is. Ready for a little help at home. Excited to go to the bathroom without an audience.
This post is about more than that though. As I was thinking about typing up something here, I read a comment on another blog that stuck with me. Veteran's Day was on Friday, and there are so many families that are in similar situations to mine... except their parenting partner doesn't have the luxury of a few days home every week. Many families have a parent deployed and are solo parenting for much, much longer than I have been. When I keep that in my mind, solo parenting my twin toddlers for the second week in a row right before a 12 hour day of parent teacher conferences doesn't seem all that bad, after all.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Beginning of School
The first day of school for me was last Thursday. Sam and Anna made sure to start the school year off with a bang, by partying it up in the wee hours of the night. Anna had a mid-night dirty diaper (just when will she stop those anyway???) at 12:15 am... 45 minutes after I had finally fallen asleep. I had had a hard time settling down with the excitement of the day waiting for me in the morning. The problem with getting Anna up to change her diaper hours into her night sleep is that it typically takes her hours to finally get back to sleep. My husband took the reins to attempt to get her back to sleep, to help me get more sleep- which was nice, but I couldn't sleep with a fussing/crying child so I was awake anyway. Around 3 am, Anna finally got successfully put back down when I put a stuffed animal in her crib with her as a last ditch effort. However, our presence in their room woke Sam up. He was then awake from around 3 am until after 5 am. My alarm went off at 5 am and I dragged myself out of bed. I maybe dozed a little in between his fussing, but definitely less than 45 minutes worth of total broken sleep.
So Sam was still awake when I started my day... on less than 1 1/2 hour of sleep. On the first day of school. With the largest size of kindergarten class I've ever taught. I made it through the day on pure adrenaline and blessed by the fact that things were so busy I hardly had time to think about being tired, much less have time to go to the bathroom or eat lunch! Thankfully, both Sam and Anna have slept better since then.
Now 4 days in to the school year, I'm discovering that being back at work after the summer off is like adjusting back from maternity leave all over again. It's hard in so many ways, and although not as hard as last year (because I know I'll eventually adjust and we don't have to put down our dog like we did at the beginning of last September), it's a struggle to adjust. I have to relearn to accept the limitations of time and how to best maximize what I've got available. Pre-kids, I would come home so exhausted on Friday nights after a week of teaching kindergarten that I would crash on the couch and take a nap because I couldn't make it to bedtime. Post kids, I'm still running around until I crawl into bed (way past what should be my bedtime) every night of the week because I'm enjoying my kids until their bedtime, and after that because all the household stuff still has to get done sometime, even if I'm not home during the day to do it.
Oh well- I'll rest when Sam and Anna are grown up and I can sleep when I'm dead, right?
Hopefully I'll hit my groove soon and I'll be able to get to the less essential stuff on my never ending list (like blog posts and commenting) instead of just the must-dos like laundry!
So Sam was still awake when I started my day... on less than 1 1/2 hour of sleep. On the first day of school. With the largest size of kindergarten class I've ever taught. I made it through the day on pure adrenaline and blessed by the fact that things were so busy I hardly had time to think about being tired, much less have time to go to the bathroom or eat lunch! Thankfully, both Sam and Anna have slept better since then.
Now 4 days in to the school year, I'm discovering that being back at work after the summer off is like adjusting back from maternity leave all over again. It's hard in so many ways, and although not as hard as last year (because I know I'll eventually adjust and we don't have to put down our dog like we did at the beginning of last September), it's a struggle to adjust. I have to relearn to accept the limitations of time and how to best maximize what I've got available. Pre-kids, I would come home so exhausted on Friday nights after a week of teaching kindergarten that I would crash on the couch and take a nap because I couldn't make it to bedtime. Post kids, I'm still running around until I crawl into bed (way past what should be my bedtime) every night of the week because I'm enjoying my kids until their bedtime, and after that because all the household stuff still has to get done sometime, even if I'm not home during the day to do it.
Oh well- I'll rest when Sam and Anna are grown up and I can sleep when I'm dead, right?
Hopefully I'll hit my groove soon and I'll be able to get to the less essential stuff on my never ending list (like blog posts and commenting) instead of just the must-dos like laundry!
Monday, March 14, 2011
One More Thing
Jen from Maybe If You Just Relax posted these words last week:
"You know how sometimes? There's a bunch of shit going on? And you're all, fine. I can handle this, but this is all. I can't handle one more thing. If one more thing happens? I'm going to jump out the window/poke out my eye/pull out my hair/drink ten kegs of Christmas Ale.
It seems that I have added that One More Thing..."
...and I found myself nodding my head in agreement. Lest you think I'm a huge bitch- yes, I do realize that I am very blessed in so many ways- to have had a successful IVF that resulted in BOTH Sam and Anna; to not to have a baby in the NICU or to have lost a baby at birth like Jen. I am aware that people across the world are doing much worse than I am in Japan or Libya or lots of other places. But this post isn't a eat-your-peas-because-someone-somewhere-is-starving kind of thing. This is my eating-a-little-cheese-with-my-whine post (although in my case there's a margarita washing down the cheese and crackers I'm munching on).
Lately it feels like okay- I can do this. I'll breathe a big sigh and buck up and play my kindergarten teacher/mom to twins/wife role and carry on. Then that One More Thing hits and I buckle. I hold back a few tears driving home from work, or before I fall asleep (because dang, I've never been exhausted for such a prolonged period in my life), or heck even when I get a few moments to myself in my classroom.
The Bill in WI passed last week (Yeah, on Sam and Anna's birthday to boot. Way to be a downer on my babies' first birthday.). This will dramatically change our way of life. I am seriously considering leaving education. I will be taking a huge pay cut and it will hugely affect our future- both with my retirement and Sam and Anna's education. The morale at school is lower than I've ever seen. 37 teachers at my old school were given layoff notices (I would have too, if I still worked there). Great teachers at my current school are feeling forced into retirement before they are ready (causing tears and depressed feelings). The ways that this could hurt education are limitless, and that is truly very scary for those of us in the trenches right now.
But okay, I can handle that.
Pile on top of that the fact that I have a student with major emotional issues that have really exploded in the last month. This student slapped me last week, threw a boot at me today while screaming in front of my class that he hated me, has hurt other students by choking them, punching them, etc, has thrown chairs etc. My entire classroom has been like a derailed train for the last month. I've probably already said more than I should, so I'll leave it with the statement that more support for this student would certainly be beneficial and help me keep my marbles.
But okay, it sucks and my job is not fun at all right now, but I have no choice but to handle that.
Then, THEN, our car dies and needs to be replaced asap. Okay, drain the savings, but doable. We can still buy food and diapers.
THEN, THEN- add in party drama and differing of opinions with the hubs stemming from party issues leading to a fight. My parents getting the flu and not being able to come to the party, either (there were a total of 3 guests). Add in Sam and Anna's birthday gift of ear infections for both for their birthday. Ear infections that are not being helped by the antibiotics. Major (but not really) snowstorm causes our professional pictures to be cancelled. Have to reschedule the 1 year dr. appt. because our pedi had to take a sudden medical leave and we have to go to someone new, much later than their first birthday. Someone hitting our new car in a parking lot leaving a big mark and dent but not leaving any info (thanks dude- our car was less than a week old).
Those one more things have pretty much eaten me alive lately. I'm barely treading water most days, trying to get from 7:40 to 3:40 as the constant power struggles and attempt to have a death grip on 100% of my attention happen every second of the day. Living for the moment that I can change to the mom of twins role again. Marking each day off the calendar, ticking down the 56 school days left until I can hang up the kindergarten teacher hat and wear the mom of twins hat all summer long. There are 56 days until Summer Vacation. It can't come soon enough.
"You know how sometimes? There's a bunch of shit going on? And you're all, fine. I can handle this, but this is all. I can't handle one more thing. If one more thing happens? I'm going to jump out the window/poke out my eye/pull out my hair/drink ten kegs of Christmas Ale.
It seems that I have added that One More Thing..."
...and I found myself nodding my head in agreement. Lest you think I'm a huge bitch- yes, I do realize that I am very blessed in so many ways- to have had a successful IVF that resulted in BOTH Sam and Anna; to not to have a baby in the NICU or to have lost a baby at birth like Jen. I am aware that people across the world are doing much worse than I am in Japan or Libya or lots of other places. But this post isn't a eat-your-peas-because-someone-somewhere-is-starving kind of thing. This is my eating-a-little-cheese-with-my-whine post (although in my case there's a margarita washing down the cheese and crackers I'm munching on).
Lately it feels like okay- I can do this. I'll breathe a big sigh and buck up and play my kindergarten teacher/mom to twins/wife role and carry on. Then that One More Thing hits and I buckle. I hold back a few tears driving home from work, or before I fall asleep (because dang, I've never been exhausted for such a prolonged period in my life), or heck even when I get a few moments to myself in my classroom.
The Bill in WI passed last week (Yeah, on Sam and Anna's birthday to boot. Way to be a downer on my babies' first birthday.). This will dramatically change our way of life. I am seriously considering leaving education. I will be taking a huge pay cut and it will hugely affect our future- both with my retirement and Sam and Anna's education. The morale at school is lower than I've ever seen. 37 teachers at my old school were given layoff notices (I would have too, if I still worked there). Great teachers at my current school are feeling forced into retirement before they are ready (causing tears and depressed feelings). The ways that this could hurt education are limitless, and that is truly very scary for those of us in the trenches right now.
But okay, I can handle that.
Pile on top of that the fact that I have a student with major emotional issues that have really exploded in the last month. This student slapped me last week, threw a boot at me today while screaming in front of my class that he hated me, has hurt other students by choking them, punching them, etc, has thrown chairs etc. My entire classroom has been like a derailed train for the last month. I've probably already said more than I should, so I'll leave it with the statement that more support for this student would certainly be beneficial and help me keep my marbles.
But okay, it sucks and my job is not fun at all right now, but I have no choice but to handle that.
Then, THEN, our car dies and needs to be replaced asap. Okay, drain the savings, but doable. We can still buy food and diapers.
THEN, THEN- add in party drama and differing of opinions with the hubs stemming from party issues leading to a fight. My parents getting the flu and not being able to come to the party, either (there were a total of 3 guests). Add in Sam and Anna's birthday gift of ear infections for both for their birthday. Ear infections that are not being helped by the antibiotics. Major (but not really) snowstorm causes our professional pictures to be cancelled. Have to reschedule the 1 year dr. appt. because our pedi had to take a sudden medical leave and we have to go to someone new, much later than their first birthday. Someone hitting our new car in a parking lot leaving a big mark and dent but not leaving any info (thanks dude- our car was less than a week old).
Those one more things have pretty much eaten me alive lately. I'm barely treading water most days, trying to get from 7:40 to 3:40 as the constant power struggles and attempt to have a death grip on 100% of my attention happen every second of the day. Living for the moment that I can change to the mom of twins role again. Marking each day off the calendar, ticking down the 56 school days left until I can hang up the kindergarten teacher hat and wear the mom of twins hat all summer long. There are 56 days until Summer Vacation. It can't come soon enough.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Now I'm Really Irate
So after my post about the self-inviting in-laws, my husband talked to his dad, and got them to agree to come Saturday instead. (Yay for the hubs!) I thought it was all settled.
Then this Friday afternoon (less than 24 hours from when they would have arrived), my husband sends me an email telling me that he just talked to his dad and they decided not to come. At all. Saying that it's too much to drive in two days, and also- my step MIL took a shift for someone so there's no changing their new plan to not come.
I'm so irate. First of all, of course we'd rather have them come and impose for an extra day over not coming at all. I'm irate that they (again) informed us of this last minute. I'm extra irate because the party was this weekend solely because they told us it needed to be because it was the weekend they both didn't have to work. And I'm super irate that because we had to do this weekend for them, my brother and his family are not able to come because my SIL is on-call this weekend. So in essence, when the party date was decided, we chose my FIL over my brother's family and now they are not even coming.
Grrrr.
You better bet it is going to be a long time before I haul my babies up to their house and go through all that headache and stress of a long road trip with toddlers if they can't even come down for their first grandchildren's first birthday.
Eh- They'll probably invite themselves to our home for a weekend in the near future anyway.
Then this Friday afternoon (less than 24 hours from when they would have arrived), my husband sends me an email telling me that he just talked to his dad and they decided not to come. At all. Saying that it's too much to drive in two days, and also- my step MIL took a shift for someone so there's no changing their new plan to not come.
I'm so irate. First of all, of course we'd rather have them come and impose for an extra day over not coming at all. I'm irate that they (again) informed us of this last minute. I'm extra irate because the party was this weekend solely because they told us it needed to be because it was the weekend they both didn't have to work. And I'm super irate that because we had to do this weekend for them, my brother and his family are not able to come because my SIL is on-call this weekend. So in essence, when the party date was decided, we chose my FIL over my brother's family and now they are not even coming.
Grrrr.
You better bet it is going to be a long time before I haul my babies up to their house and go through all that headache and stress of a long road trip with toddlers if they can't even come down for their first grandchildren's first birthday.
Eh- They'll probably invite themselves to our home for a weekend in the near future anyway.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
I Can Cross That Off My Bucket List
If I had a bucket list, I am sure *Stand up for what I believe in by protesting would be on there. This week I have a good reason for being so absent in blogger-world: I was crossing that off the list.
I live in Wisconsin. I would imagine that if you kept abreast of national news, you would have some idea of the huge governmental upheaval in the state right now. In the most brief, short version possible, our new governor presented a Budget "Fix" bill last Thursday that was supposed to be voted on this week that attacks public workers' rights by eliminating collective bargaining by most unions (except police, state troopers, and firefighters), among other far-reaching changes included in the plan.
This would have disastrous effects for my job. Personally, I would lose about $5,000 annually from my salary. We live paycheck to paycheck as it is. But beyond that, the teacher's union would lose all say in bargaining for things in contracts that affect the quality of student's education... like keeping class sizes low. School boards would have the power to put 30 students in a elementary classroom... or 150 if they wanted to. There are so many different aspects of why this bill is so horrible for the state of Wisconsin (and really, for everyone in the nation- because it has the potential to be precedent setting) that I can't even get into it all. Nor do I really want to, because frankly, it's been an exhausting week thinking and actively voicing my opposition to it.
So this week I joined thousands of educators and other public employees like firefighters, police officers, and other unionized workers on the steps and inside my state capital to actively protest the signing of this bill. I've always thought that if you do nothing when you have an opinion, then you have no right to complain if what you want doesn't happen. Over 40,000 people were there on Thursday and again on Friday. It was an amazing thing to experience.
If this bill passes, I will probably actively search for another position. My husband is already looking and would apply for jobs elsewhere. Not only do I not want to work in education in this state under these conditions, but I absolutely do not want the kind of education that will exist if it passes for Sam and Anna. Wisconsin is 8th in the nation for educational quality right now- where will it be after this?
Living in Canada is looking better and better...
(Side note- I won't publish any negative comments, so don't even bother typing one. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and this is mine. If you have a different one, there are other places you can voice yours.)
I live in Wisconsin. I would imagine that if you kept abreast of national news, you would have some idea of the huge governmental upheaval in the state right now. In the most brief, short version possible, our new governor presented a Budget "Fix" bill last Thursday that was supposed to be voted on this week that attacks public workers' rights by eliminating collective bargaining by most unions (except police, state troopers, and firefighters), among other far-reaching changes included in the plan.
This would have disastrous effects for my job. Personally, I would lose about $5,000 annually from my salary. We live paycheck to paycheck as it is. But beyond that, the teacher's union would lose all say in bargaining for things in contracts that affect the quality of student's education... like keeping class sizes low. School boards would have the power to put 30 students in a elementary classroom... or 150 if they wanted to. There are so many different aspects of why this bill is so horrible for the state of Wisconsin (and really, for everyone in the nation- because it has the potential to be precedent setting) that I can't even get into it all. Nor do I really want to, because frankly, it's been an exhausting week thinking and actively voicing my opposition to it.
So this week I joined thousands of educators and other public employees like firefighters, police officers, and other unionized workers on the steps and inside my state capital to actively protest the signing of this bill. I've always thought that if you do nothing when you have an opinion, then you have no right to complain if what you want doesn't happen. Over 40,000 people were there on Thursday and again on Friday. It was an amazing thing to experience.
If this bill passes, I will probably actively search for another position. My husband is already looking and would apply for jobs elsewhere. Not only do I not want to work in education in this state under these conditions, but I absolutely do not want the kind of education that will exist if it passes for Sam and Anna. Wisconsin is 8th in the nation for educational quality right now- where will it be after this?
Living in Canada is looking better and better...
(Side note- I won't publish any negative comments, so don't even bother typing one. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and this is mine. If you have a different one, there are other places you can voice yours.)
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Let Me Tell You About My Week
This is why I say life is never dull around here. With the excitement and far-from-the-norm events of about the last week or so, we definitely can't say our life is boring! Let's start from a week ago Wednesday:
Two Wednesdays ago Anna started to come down with pink eye in both eyes at the same time. We decided to give her Sam's eye drops (as the doctor hinted we might choose to do, *wink* *wink* if another family member became infected, as was certainly very likely). By Thursday afternoon her eyes were much, much worse than Sam's ever were- they were so swollen she couldn't see at all, and when you pried apart her eyelids to try and get the drops in, you could see that the whites of her eyes were covered completely in broken blood vessels (quite vampire-ish, really). Our daycare provider called me at work, worried that Anna was having a reaction to the medicine because it was getting worse, not better. We decided to try to get her in to see a pediatrician that day. I hustled around trying to find a way to cover my class so I could leave right then (because as a teacher it is almost always impossible to just leave work in a moment's notice), but then got a call back that they could fit her in at 4 pm. I had a parent meeting planned for after school that I couldn't cancel, so I just tried to make it brief so I could get out of there on time.
Meanwhile, a nasty storm was brewing outside and unbeknowst to me, an email was sent from the powers that be allowing us to leave early to get home before the roads got worse. I left work with enough time to pick up Anna from daycare (but realized that I did not have enough time to go home to get the double stroller, which I would need to haul both babies into the clinic), so I called our DCP en route to see if she would keep Sam a little late until I was done with Anna's appointment. She said that would be perfectly fine, but wanted to know where I was on the highway, because she just found out there was a 9 car pile up on the highway by her son who was stuck in traffic in a school bus, and was told they would probably be stuck there for close to 2 hours. We figured out a back way that I could get to her house detouring the highway (meanwhile, the roads were nasty- hello- 9 car pileup), I finally got to Anna (in one piece), and my poor baby looked awful. She could hardly see. We headed off to the doctors, about 30 minutes behind, but after a quick call to the office to let them know, I was reassured that that would be fine because of the weather conditions.
THEN, on our way (just Anna and I), my car decided to die while idling at a red light. In the left lane of a busy 4 lane road. On top of glare ice. Oh, and did I mention that our other vehicle was at a repair shop that day because it had been making a funny noise so my husband was at work without a vehicle? I panicked and tried to call him, but I couldn't get a hold of him. Not like he could do anything to help me, anyway. So I called our daycare provider (because our family all lives out of state) and there was no one else available that would be able to help. She sent her husband and another daycare daddy to come and give me their car so I could get to the appointment (because remember, we were both worried about Anna). Meanwhile, a police car pulls up behind me and after talking with me, offers to call a tow for me and takes my name and number. I leave and get to the appointment over 30 minutes late. Short version of the appointment: the doctor says to "give it another day and see if there's improvement." Um kay- so that appointment was totally not necessary.
On top of that- the repair shop couldn't get our vehicle to make the noise I heard, so they didn't do a damn thing to it. If it hadn't been in, I wouldn't have been driving our crappy car. And in my chaotic stressed state, I didn't think to find out where my car got towed, or by who (because I left it there so I could get to the doctor) and I couldn't remember what officer helped me, or even what kind of officer he was (state trooper, city cop, and if so, which city?). All that added up to a very difficult time locating where the heck my car was after we were all home that evening. Then later, I find out that I missed the 9 car pile up by close to a mere 10 minutes.
Still with me? I left out a lot of crazy details, but needless to say, I needed a big ol' glass of wine that evening.
That following weekend, we had rescheduled our 9 month professional photos because of Sam's pink eye the week before, so we needed to reschedule yet again. But Anna's eye did start to improve.
Then on Monday, I started to come down with pink eye myself. I self-doctored with the drops we had but tried to get through the day at work. Sam and Anna's 9 month pedi appointment was that afternoon, so I was going to leave early anyway. However, my eye got dramatically worse in a little under 2 hours that afternoon- very similar to Anna's eyes. I was worried, so I told my husband he would have to take them to the appointment by himself, because I needed to get to the walk-in clinic fast. Before I got there, my eye had completely swelled shut, and I had to drive with only 1 eye open. They gave me a stronger dose of eye drops plus an oral antibiotic, and an eye patch. Thank goodness my babies didn't get any shots at their appointment this time, because nobody should have to do two babies (with stranger anxiety) with shots by themselves. (Trust me, I did the flu shot appointments by myself, and it was extremely less than fun.) I won't even get into how the pharmacy couldn't find my Rx and I had to send my husband back later to get it, after waiting there for 30 minutes with eye oozing goo all over the place. I went to bed as soon as I could that night, slept 10 hours straight, and stayed home from work the next day.
Moving forward to Wednesday- I headed back to work that morning. It was the coldest morning of the winter so far, with actual temperatures of 20 below zero, plus a windchill on top of that. It was that morning (already feeling crummy because my eye was only starting to improve and I felt ugly and gross and wished I could stay home more days) that the vehicle that was making a funny noise for us but not the repair guys decided to stop blowing any warm air. So because I was already on my way, I had no choice but to drive with ridiculously cold air blowing (in an attempt to keep my windshield from being completely iced over) in -20 degree temps. I couldn't feel my feet 10 minutes into my 40 minute drive. I could hardly walk once I got to school because my legs were so so so cold (I was wearing thin dress pants and fashion boots, not snow pants and winter boots, you know?) I just kept trying to think of tropical places and warm drinks and okay- I even drove 20 mph over the speed limit to get into someplace warm as soon as I could. Being that cold for 40 minutes was way way worse that the swollen eye goop two days earlier. I cursed the repair guys for "not being able to find anything wrong with it" the week before. My co-worker lent me a heated blanket for the drive home so that helped!
If you made it through all that, I am impressed. Things have settled down a little in the last few days, so I finally have my bearing enough that I can sort through it all in my head. In short- life is certainly never dull around here- sometimes regardless if we have twins!
Two Wednesdays ago Anna started to come down with pink eye in both eyes at the same time. We decided to give her Sam's eye drops (as the doctor hinted we might choose to do, *wink* *wink* if another family member became infected, as was certainly very likely). By Thursday afternoon her eyes were much, much worse than Sam's ever were- they were so swollen she couldn't see at all, and when you pried apart her eyelids to try and get the drops in, you could see that the whites of her eyes were covered completely in broken blood vessels (quite vampire-ish, really). Our daycare provider called me at work, worried that Anna was having a reaction to the medicine because it was getting worse, not better. We decided to try to get her in to see a pediatrician that day. I hustled around trying to find a way to cover my class so I could leave right then (because as a teacher it is almost always impossible to just leave work in a moment's notice), but then got a call back that they could fit her in at 4 pm. I had a parent meeting planned for after school that I couldn't cancel, so I just tried to make it brief so I could get out of there on time.
Meanwhile, a nasty storm was brewing outside and unbeknowst to me, an email was sent from the powers that be allowing us to leave early to get home before the roads got worse. I left work with enough time to pick up Anna from daycare (but realized that I did not have enough time to go home to get the double stroller, which I would need to haul both babies into the clinic), so I called our DCP en route to see if she would keep Sam a little late until I was done with Anna's appointment. She said that would be perfectly fine, but wanted to know where I was on the highway, because she just found out there was a 9 car pile up on the highway by her son who was stuck in traffic in a school bus, and was told they would probably be stuck there for close to 2 hours. We figured out a back way that I could get to her house detouring the highway (meanwhile, the roads were nasty- hello- 9 car pileup), I finally got to Anna (in one piece), and my poor baby looked awful. She could hardly see. We headed off to the doctors, about 30 minutes behind, but after a quick call to the office to let them know, I was reassured that that would be fine because of the weather conditions.
THEN, on our way (just Anna and I), my car decided to die while idling at a red light. In the left lane of a busy 4 lane road. On top of glare ice. Oh, and did I mention that our other vehicle was at a repair shop that day because it had been making a funny noise so my husband was at work without a vehicle? I panicked and tried to call him, but I couldn't get a hold of him. Not like he could do anything to help me, anyway. So I called our daycare provider (because our family all lives out of state) and there was no one else available that would be able to help. She sent her husband and another daycare daddy to come and give me their car so I could get to the appointment (because remember, we were both worried about Anna). Meanwhile, a police car pulls up behind me and after talking with me, offers to call a tow for me and takes my name and number. I leave and get to the appointment over 30 minutes late. Short version of the appointment: the doctor says to "give it another day and see if there's improvement." Um kay- so that appointment was totally not necessary.
On top of that- the repair shop couldn't get our vehicle to make the noise I heard, so they didn't do a damn thing to it. If it hadn't been in, I wouldn't have been driving our crappy car. And in my chaotic stressed state, I didn't think to find out where my car got towed, or by who (because I left it there so I could get to the doctor) and I couldn't remember what officer helped me, or even what kind of officer he was (state trooper, city cop, and if so, which city?). All that added up to a very difficult time locating where the heck my car was after we were all home that evening. Then later, I find out that I missed the 9 car pile up by close to a mere 10 minutes.
Still with me? I left out a lot of crazy details, but needless to say, I needed a big ol' glass of wine that evening.
That following weekend, we had rescheduled our 9 month professional photos because of Sam's pink eye the week before, so we needed to reschedule yet again. But Anna's eye did start to improve.
Then on Monday, I started to come down with pink eye myself. I self-doctored with the drops we had but tried to get through the day at work. Sam and Anna's 9 month pedi appointment was that afternoon, so I was going to leave early anyway. However, my eye got dramatically worse in a little under 2 hours that afternoon- very similar to Anna's eyes. I was worried, so I told my husband he would have to take them to the appointment by himself, because I needed to get to the walk-in clinic fast. Before I got there, my eye had completely swelled shut, and I had to drive with only 1 eye open. They gave me a stronger dose of eye drops plus an oral antibiotic, and an eye patch. Thank goodness my babies didn't get any shots at their appointment this time, because nobody should have to do two babies (with stranger anxiety) with shots by themselves. (Trust me, I did the flu shot appointments by myself, and it was extremely less than fun.) I won't even get into how the pharmacy couldn't find my Rx and I had to send my husband back later to get it, after waiting there for 30 minutes with eye oozing goo all over the place. I went to bed as soon as I could that night, slept 10 hours straight, and stayed home from work the next day.
Moving forward to Wednesday- I headed back to work that morning. It was the coldest morning of the winter so far, with actual temperatures of 20 below zero, plus a windchill on top of that. It was that morning (already feeling crummy because my eye was only starting to improve and I felt ugly and gross and wished I could stay home more days) that the vehicle that was making a funny noise for us but not the repair guys decided to stop blowing any warm air. So because I was already on my way, I had no choice but to drive with ridiculously cold air blowing (in an attempt to keep my windshield from being completely iced over) in -20 degree temps. I couldn't feel my feet 10 minutes into my 40 minute drive. I could hardly walk once I got to school because my legs were so so so cold (I was wearing thin dress pants and fashion boots, not snow pants and winter boots, you know?) I just kept trying to think of tropical places and warm drinks and okay- I even drove 20 mph over the speed limit to get into someplace warm as soon as I could. Being that cold for 40 minutes was way way worse that the swollen eye goop two days earlier. I cursed the repair guys for "not being able to find anything wrong with it" the week before. My co-worker lent me a heated blanket for the drive home so that helped!
If you made it through all that, I am impressed. Things have settled down a little in the last few days, so I finally have my bearing enough that I can sort through it all in my head. In short- life is certainly never dull around here- sometimes regardless if we have twins!
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Less Than 24 Hours To Go
I've been in survival mode this week- not a lot of time for non-essentials like blogging, and commenting, and even a good amount of sleep. My husband has been gone on a work hunting trip since Saturday morning. This has been his longest time gone yet since the babes were born. Thank goodness that this should be it until January. I'm beat.
More so than ever before, there are just not enough hours in the day. I'm a full-time working mom to 8 month old twins and this week that meant I was a full-time working single mom to 8 month old twins. I get up at 5 am on weekdays to get myself ready, and this week rushed to get them ready (dad usually does most of it since I have to be out the door by 7 am), rushed to school, rushed through the day to get as much as possible done there (it's one of our busy times at school- assessments for report cards, completing report cards, and getting ready for conferences which start on Monday) then rushed to pick them up, rushed to feed them, get them ready for bed and daycare the next day, then rushed to wash bottles and syringes for their medicine, rushed to make new bottles and mix new medicine and finally rushed to get ready for bed myself, hoping I *might* get over 5 hours before starting it all over again. Add in rushed to take them to swimming on Wednesday night and home again with the help of a friend as well.
Would you like to know the magic number of days it took before I cracked and broke down in tears from being overwhelmed? That magic number is 4. Four days in with wake ups and bedtimes and overnights and bottles by myself for 24 hours and I was done for. I think knowing that my plate being so overfull that I felt like I wasn't doing anything well because I had to do so much did me in. I wasn't spending quality time with Sam and Anna because I had to get them ready for the next day (get clothes out, feed them fast, baths, bottles, bed) during the time I spent with them. I wasn't being successful enough for my job because I didn't have enough time to get lessons ready for the next day, get report cards done on time, or make my room look beautiful for conferences. I was cranky with my students because I was so overtired and I couldn't cope with the student issues that came up during the week. I wasn't giving myself the attention I needed- I ate dinner at 10:30 pm one night, just happy that I got to eat, I was going to bed after 11 pm because of everything I needed to do, even though I was getting fragmented sleep from the babies and had to get up at 5 am myself. The luxury to have enough time to even do something as simple as shave my legs- forgetaboutit.
So going back to what I discovered early on with my breastfeeding saga: a happy mom=happy babies, I decided that I needed to take a day off of work- conference prep be damned. I brought them to daycare for part of the day anyway (with a wee big of mommy-guilt) and ran errands. Went grocery shopping. Did laundry. Took care of the pile of dishes. Took a nap that wasn't going to be interrupted by awake babies. Then I emerged with a better grip on my sanity, more able to tackle life solo-parenting twin babies while teaching full-time.
The knowledge that tonight would be my last solo bedtime helped a little bit too.
(Did I mention that I tackled Daylight Saving Time by myself on top of it? Thank goodness Sam and Anna transitioned fairly easily. Know how we did it? I let them sleep in Saturday morning- which they happened to do for about an hour. So I just changed our clocks a day early and went about our day an hour behind. That continued on Sunday because they went to bed an hour "later" than usual the night before, and that was that. Time change, no problem!)
More so than ever before, there are just not enough hours in the day. I'm a full-time working mom to 8 month old twins and this week that meant I was a full-time working single mom to 8 month old twins. I get up at 5 am on weekdays to get myself ready, and this week rushed to get them ready (dad usually does most of it since I have to be out the door by 7 am), rushed to school, rushed through the day to get as much as possible done there (it's one of our busy times at school- assessments for report cards, completing report cards, and getting ready for conferences which start on Monday) then rushed to pick them up, rushed to feed them, get them ready for bed and daycare the next day, then rushed to wash bottles and syringes for their medicine, rushed to make new bottles and mix new medicine and finally rushed to get ready for bed myself, hoping I *might* get over 5 hours before starting it all over again. Add in rushed to take them to swimming on Wednesday night and home again with the help of a friend as well.
Would you like to know the magic number of days it took before I cracked and broke down in tears from being overwhelmed? That magic number is 4. Four days in with wake ups and bedtimes and overnights and bottles by myself for 24 hours and I was done for. I think knowing that my plate being so overfull that I felt like I wasn't doing anything well because I had to do so much did me in. I wasn't spending quality time with Sam and Anna because I had to get them ready for the next day (get clothes out, feed them fast, baths, bottles, bed) during the time I spent with them. I wasn't being successful enough for my job because I didn't have enough time to get lessons ready for the next day, get report cards done on time, or make my room look beautiful for conferences. I was cranky with my students because I was so overtired and I couldn't cope with the student issues that came up during the week. I wasn't giving myself the attention I needed- I ate dinner at 10:30 pm one night, just happy that I got to eat, I was going to bed after 11 pm because of everything I needed to do, even though I was getting fragmented sleep from the babies and had to get up at 5 am myself. The luxury to have enough time to even do something as simple as shave my legs- forgetaboutit.
So going back to what I discovered early on with my breastfeeding saga: a happy mom=happy babies, I decided that I needed to take a day off of work- conference prep be damned. I brought them to daycare for part of the day anyway (with a wee big of mommy-guilt) and ran errands. Went grocery shopping. Did laundry. Took care of the pile of dishes. Took a nap that wasn't going to be interrupted by awake babies. Then I emerged with a better grip on my sanity, more able to tackle life solo-parenting twin babies while teaching full-time.
The knowledge that tonight would be my last solo bedtime helped a little bit too.
(Did I mention that I tackled Daylight Saving Time by myself on top of it? Thank goodness Sam and Anna transitioned fairly easily. Know how we did it? I let them sleep in Saturday morning- which they happened to do for about an hour. So I just changed our clocks a day early and went about our day an hour behind. That continued on Sunday because they went to bed an hour "later" than usual the night before, and that was that. Time change, no problem!)
Sam has something to share:
My mom got this shirt for us. I definitely felt like Supermom as I tackled this week!Thursday, September 30, 2010
Send Good Thoughts
I will be embarking on a courageous attempt (well, at least I think it is) tomorrow-
My husband is going on his first hunting trip since our twins were born. It will also be the first time he's spent the night away from Sam and Anna.
I will be solo-parenting all weekend long- with two 6 month old babies that have learned how to roll and wiggle to move where they want to go, to boot. (This makes stepping out of the room for "just a second" for the bathroom or whatever else virtually impossible unless all babies are contained, just FYI)
Please keep in mind that a.) I do not have a backup support system where we live because our families all live across state lines. b.) my closest local friend will be on the other side of the country for the weekend. c.) I've never experienced solo parenting with one child, so this will be a little bit of a boot camp for me, multiple mom style. It's one thing to watch multiple babies during the day and it's a whole different level to watch multiple babies by yourself for 48+ hours without the option of help or a break.
Gulp.
On the positive side- at least it will be the weekend and I don't have to get them ready for daycare at dark o'clock to be at school on time. It will also be good practice for the WEEK he will be gone 7 days from now. Ick. I don't even want to think about THAT right now.
Please send good thoughts our way that, although I will be outnumbered for naps, bottle feedings, mealtimes, baths, bedtime and nighttime sleep, things go well and we have a good weekend!
My husband is going on his first hunting trip since our twins were born. It will also be the first time he's spent the night away from Sam and Anna.
I will be solo-parenting all weekend long- with two 6 month old babies that have learned how to roll and wiggle to move where they want to go, to boot. (This makes stepping out of the room for "just a second" for the bathroom or whatever else virtually impossible unless all babies are contained, just FYI)
Please keep in mind that a.) I do not have a backup support system where we live because our families all live across state lines. b.) my closest local friend will be on the other side of the country for the weekend. c.) I've never experienced solo parenting with one child, so this will be a little bit of a boot camp for me, multiple mom style. It's one thing to watch multiple babies during the day and it's a whole different level to watch multiple babies by yourself for 48+ hours without the option of help or a break.
Gulp.
On the positive side- at least it will be the weekend and I don't have to get them ready for daycare at dark o'clock to be at school on time. It will also be good practice for the WEEK he will be gone 7 days from now. Ick. I don't even want to think about THAT right now.
Please send good thoughts our way that, although I will be outnumbered for naps, bottle feedings, mealtimes, baths, bedtime and nighttime sleep, things go well and we have a good weekend!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Avoiding the Obvious
I haven't felt much like making a post in the last week. I think it's because I don't need to get the school stuff/daycare stuff/dog stuff off my chest or vent about all of it- I just need to spend as much time as possible NOT thinking about it to survive. I've been in a crummy mood. If I created a post, it would have gone something like this:
"Sam and Anna have had a horrible time falling asleep at bedtime lately, which I suspect is because I was at work 3 days last week and they just want to be held by me because they miss me, instead of chillin' alone in their cribs . They've always been pretty good at bedtime sleep until now. On Thursday I had to work from 8 am until 8 pm and Sam was so distraught with my absence that by bedtime, the only way my husband could get him calmed down was to wear a shirt of mine while running the blowdryer. Then Sam woke up at 4 am for his MOTN feeding (which I did- huge mistake) and he didn't want to leave me, so Sam and I hung out on the couch from 4 am until 6:30 am when his sister woke for the day. Since they are resisting bedtime simply because they want to be held, we resorted to full on CIO (cry-it-out) Sunday night out of desperation. We decided the only way to break the cycle was to not hold them. That sucked, but worked. After two days, Sam and Anna are no longer crying/being held off and on for 4 hours after bedtime. I drank a lot of wine, and cursed the fact that I felt the need to pile more upon my plate. Oh, and Sam ate horribly most of the week because he doesn't eat as well for anyone but me.
Work sucked, but I managed, knowing that I would have 5 days in a row to be at home after the 3 days of working. That ended today. Tomorrow school starts. Boo-hoo. It sucks leaving two babies without you that you did everything short of move mountains to get. I don't have enough words for how I feel, and like I said- I do better if I just try to not think about it. So that's all I'm going to say about that
Benelli's days are numbered. My husband is calling the vet tomorrow to see when we can make an appointment to bring him in. This royally sucks because I always said I would take several days off of work when he died, and what teacher can take off the first few days of school? Imagine trying to keep a happy kindergarten teacher smile pasted upon your face when your dog is dying and your two precious miracles are spending their days without you. This might just be my best beginning of school yet.
The combo of all of the above created another anxiety attack Sunday night. This one was a doosy. I might have just found the combo of things that is more than I can handle at one time.
So in short, this week we did CIO, Sam will probably not eat well again, I go back to work full time permanently with co-workers that are not nice people, and we will probably be killing our dog (my first dog). My week is shaping up to be one awesome, stellar week."
Now who wants to think about, type, or read that? So instead, I will share with you my first belly photo from a year ago, and my brave belly shot almost exactly one year to the day later, taken this week. Not too bad, I think. I may have not met my goal of all pregnancy weight lost by the first day of school, but according to my scale last night, I am only 2 pounds away from that. Not too bad at all. (Focusing on the good, focusing on the good...)
5 1/2 months post-partum twin birth at 37 weeks. (Here's a bang photo for you, Kerri)
9 weeks pregnant with twins, sucking the bellah in as much as possible (same pants as the above picture but a different color).JPG)
9 weeks pregnant with twins (letting it all hang out)
Monday, April 12, 2010
Prayers Please
Holy Sh*t- twins are difficult. We've hit colic big time around here, and although I'm beginning to sound like a broken record, I'm going to say it again, anyway: if you think something is hard with one baby, you can't imagine how hard it is with two at the same time. Both my husband and I have cried every day in the past three days. With one baby, they have to sleep eventually, even with colic, and give you a break. With two babies- there can always be a baby awake and crying. And it pretty much seems like they are. I was awake from 2:30-6:00 am last night with crying babies- and the only reason I started and stopped at those times was because my husband had baby duty before and after that time. Double the intense crying 24/7 is enough to drive you mad.
I'd appreciate prayers that we have better nights and figure out the magical cure to end crying for both Sam and Anna if you have prayers to spare. And, if you have any advice to offer, please do. (We do follow the 5 S's for Happiest Baby on the Block, use Mylicon and Gripe Water, switched to a gentle formula per pediatrician's okay, etc. already)
Here's a rare "content babies" photo that I have taken to looking at frequently, just to remind me that they can be content:
I'd appreciate prayers that we have better nights and figure out the magical cure to end crying for both Sam and Anna if you have prayers to spare. And, if you have any advice to offer, please do. (We do follow the 5 S's for Happiest Baby on the Block, use Mylicon and Gripe Water, switched to a gentle formula per pediatrician's okay, etc. already)
Here's a rare "content babies" photo that I have taken to looking at frequently, just to remind me that they can be content:
Monday, April 5, 2010
If I Can Do This, I Can Do Anything
Today marked the beginning of my first week alone with Sam and Anna while my husband is at work. My parents were visiting last week and helped me get through his first full week of being gone during the day. We really started out the week with a bang... and proved that when everything falls apart- all you can do is laugh, do what you can, and clean up later when you get a chance. And laugh, I did.
Sam and Anna both woke up from their first morning nap at exactly the same time, crying. This instantly creates a dilemma because it is impossible to change, get two bottles ready and feed two babies all at the same time. I started with Anna, since Sam had been sleeping lightly for a while and I was hopeful he could fall back asleep. Anna also drinks faster, so worst case scenario, I would be done with the first feeding more quickly. I changed her out of her pjs and got a bottle ready. Meanwhile Sam was getting hysterical, so I opted to warm up a second bottle, prop him up on a boppy in his crib and attempt feeding both at the same time. Unfortunately for me- it ended up that both Avent bottles I chose were leakers (Anyone else have problems with this? It happens very randomly to us but it is super annoying) and leaked all over me, the floor, the crib, etc. Anna then picked that moment to have a poop blowout in the clothes she had been wearing for, oh, about 30 seconds. So I changed Anna to the wonderful sound of Sam's frantic cries, during which she decided to pee mid-diaper change and go through yet another diaper.
When all was said and done, both children got fed in formula soaked clothes because I didn't have a spare arm to get different bottles. I don't know how much formula they each got and neither one was very sleepy afterwards because of how worked up they got during the process.
And Anna? she decided she wasn't done and had another poop blowout at the end of the bottle. Three outfits and 4 diapers in 20 minutes for one baby is my new record.
I'm beginning to think that Anna needs Pampers Swaddlers to avoid poop problems and Sam needs Huggies Snugglers to avoid soaking through. Seriously? I need to have an ample stock of two brands of diapers???
My lovely day continued and my children only slept at the same time for about 30 minutes total. Interestingly enough- they managed to want to be fed at exactly the same time, all day long. I'm thinking today might be the day I plop the babies in my dear husband's arms when he walks in the door and escape to Target before the door even closes. After all, we need more diapers, don't we?
Sam and Anna both woke up from their first morning nap at exactly the same time, crying. This instantly creates a dilemma because it is impossible to change, get two bottles ready and feed two babies all at the same time. I started with Anna, since Sam had been sleeping lightly for a while and I was hopeful he could fall back asleep. Anna also drinks faster, so worst case scenario, I would be done with the first feeding more quickly. I changed her out of her pjs and got a bottle ready. Meanwhile Sam was getting hysterical, so I opted to warm up a second bottle, prop him up on a boppy in his crib and attempt feeding both at the same time. Unfortunately for me- it ended up that both Avent bottles I chose were leakers (Anyone else have problems with this? It happens very randomly to us but it is super annoying) and leaked all over me, the floor, the crib, etc. Anna then picked that moment to have a poop blowout in the clothes she had been wearing for, oh, about 30 seconds. So I changed Anna to the wonderful sound of Sam's frantic cries, during which she decided to pee mid-diaper change and go through yet another diaper.
When all was said and done, both children got fed in formula soaked clothes because I didn't have a spare arm to get different bottles. I don't know how much formula they each got and neither one was very sleepy afterwards because of how worked up they got during the process.
And Anna? she decided she wasn't done and had another poop blowout at the end of the bottle. Three outfits and 4 diapers in 20 minutes for one baby is my new record.
I'm beginning to think that Anna needs Pampers Swaddlers to avoid poop problems and Sam needs Huggies Snugglers to avoid soaking through. Seriously? I need to have an ample stock of two brands of diapers???
My lovely day continued and my children only slept at the same time for about 30 minutes total. Interestingly enough- they managed to want to be fed at exactly the same time, all day long. I'm thinking today might be the day I plop the babies in my dear husband's arms when he walks in the door and escape to Target before the door even closes. After all, we need more diapers, don't we?
Monday, February 1, 2010
Drama, Drama, Drama
*sigh* Working with 99% women always leads to major drama. I have been pretty good at avoiding a lot of it lately, because the walk down to the staff lounge is really too far for me to trudge in my current state. Since I've been eating in my room most of the time, I miss a lot of the drama. Today, I created some drama... but I had no choice.
One of the interviewees for my long term sub position was the daughter of the kindergarten teacher across the hall from me. She just finished student teaching in kindergarten and just graduated in December. Since this fall, she had been giving me (through her mom) her resume, reference letters as she got more, etc.... and I thought she'd probably be my long term sub. From what I know she will be an excellent teacher and is really a natural.
However, one of the other interviewees from this morning recently relocated from a different state... and has 8 years of recent teaching experience in kindergarten. She interviewed really well and after calling her reference (her past principal who had only glowing things to say) there was really no way to justify choosing a recent grad with no experience over her. Since I am going to be gone for 12 weeks and possibly more, this is a pretty long subbing assignment. I don't have an easy class. My principal made it clear who she thought should be selected... which kind of left me with no choice.
What a hard position to be in. So now I'm faced with some major inner school politics. I'm guessing I'll be bearing the brunt of this for a while to come... possibly even into next school year after I return and beyond. I'm pretty sure the degree of helpfulness the teacher across the hall's been giving me will drastically decrease as of now as well.
*sigh* You'd think by now I would have learned that the right choice isn't always in my best interests personally. Somehow I always seem to get myself in these predicaments where by doing the right thing I pay for it later.
One of the interviewees for my long term sub position was the daughter of the kindergarten teacher across the hall from me. She just finished student teaching in kindergarten and just graduated in December. Since this fall, she had been giving me (through her mom) her resume, reference letters as she got more, etc.... and I thought she'd probably be my long term sub. From what I know she will be an excellent teacher and is really a natural.
However, one of the other interviewees from this morning recently relocated from a different state... and has 8 years of recent teaching experience in kindergarten. She interviewed really well and after calling her reference (her past principal who had only glowing things to say) there was really no way to justify choosing a recent grad with no experience over her. Since I am going to be gone for 12 weeks and possibly more, this is a pretty long subbing assignment. I don't have an easy class. My principal made it clear who she thought should be selected... which kind of left me with no choice.
What a hard position to be in. So now I'm faced with some major inner school politics. I'm guessing I'll be bearing the brunt of this for a while to come... possibly even into next school year after I return and beyond. I'm pretty sure the degree of helpfulness the teacher across the hall's been giving me will drastically decrease as of now as well.
Side note though- after offering the experienced teacher the position, my principal found out that she also has twins that are first graders, so she totally understands the tentativeness of the time frame for the long term sub position.
*sigh* You'd think by now I would have learned that the right choice isn't always in my best interests personally. Somehow I always seem to get myself in these predicaments where by doing the right thing I pay for it later.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
The Post That Was Supposed To Be Titled, "Call Me Ms. Productive"
I had good goals for my winter break from school: finish the babies' room as much as possible, get my lesson plans all set for the rest of the school year, get caught up in my mitten making orders, and pack my hospital bag. I did accomplish a lot- but not one of those goals got completely done.
Finishing the babies' room: We did order the rest of the furniture for the room, which I had hoped would be here before the end of break. It is estimated to arrive in two days. Oh well. I couldn't do any baby laundry to put away in them anyway, because our dryer broke. That makes the third appliance in the last two months to have issues. We've gotten a new microwave, a new dishwasher- and I'm really hoping the dryer can just be fixed, rather than replaced, because, you know, I'd be stressing about how to pay for all the rest of the baby stuff without our appliance issues. The room got painted and letters were ordered for their names above the cribs. You won't get to see those until after the little ones are born because we're still keeping those quiet. I looked into a new window covering, but that will have to wait for a while, because add in the new vehicle and this has been an expensive month so far.
School Prep: I went in 4 days over break and got lesson plans written and things prepped for all of January, February, March, and April, as well as some stuff for the beginning of the next school year ( I usual do this in the spring and obviously won't get a chance this year). I didn't get the rest of the year done, but- 4 months of lesson plans/prep is pretty impressive to me anyway!
Mitten making: I got 5 pairs done, 4 to go. Over half way isn't too bad.
Hospital bag packing: I went shopping and got a lot of the stuff I needed to put in the bag. Pretty much all that's left is stuff I can't pack weeks and weeks in advance (like my cell phone cord, my ipod, makeup, etc) and clothes since our dryer is having issues. The partially packed bag is sitting in our room, with a handy list on top for other things to be added should the need arise last minute. I hope I won't need the bag for 10 more weeks though!
In other news, today we reached the 28 week mark! The babies' viability went up to 90% if they were to be born this early. The next goal is 32 weeks... my perinatologist's magical number, in which he said after reaching premature babies show no long lasting effects from being born early. Yay for 28 weeks, still working, and no repeat scary contractions!
Finishing the babies' room: We did order the rest of the furniture for the room, which I had hoped would be here before the end of break. It is estimated to arrive in two days. Oh well. I couldn't do any baby laundry to put away in them anyway, because our dryer broke. That makes the third appliance in the last two months to have issues. We've gotten a new microwave, a new dishwasher- and I'm really hoping the dryer can just be fixed, rather than replaced, because, you know, I'd be stressing about how to pay for all the rest of the baby stuff without our appliance issues. The room got painted and letters were ordered for their names above the cribs. You won't get to see those until after the little ones are born because we're still keeping those quiet. I looked into a new window covering, but that will have to wait for a while, because add in the new vehicle and this has been an expensive month so far.
School Prep: I went in 4 days over break and got lesson plans written and things prepped for all of January, February, March, and April, as well as some stuff for the beginning of the next school year ( I usual do this in the spring and obviously won't get a chance this year). I didn't get the rest of the year done, but- 4 months of lesson plans/prep is pretty impressive to me anyway!
Mitten making: I got 5 pairs done, 4 to go. Over half way isn't too bad.
Hospital bag packing: I went shopping and got a lot of the stuff I needed to put in the bag. Pretty much all that's left is stuff I can't pack weeks and weeks in advance (like my cell phone cord, my ipod, makeup, etc) and clothes since our dryer is having issues. The partially packed bag is sitting in our room, with a handy list on top for other things to be added should the need arise last minute. I hope I won't need the bag for 10 more weeks though!
In other news, today we reached the 28 week mark! The babies' viability went up to 90% if they were to be born this early. The next goal is 32 weeks... my perinatologist's magical number, in which he said after reaching premature babies show no long lasting effects from being born early. Yay for 28 weeks, still working, and no repeat scary contractions!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Failure
I feel like a big fat failure. I feel like I'm failing at taking the best care of me and therefore my babies and I feel like a failure as a kindergarten teacher because I am in an impossible balancing act between meeting my needs and the mammoth needs of the students in my class at the beginning of the year.
If you've never stepped foot into a kindergarten classroom- it is a bit deserving of combat pay all year round. It isn't like the older grades where you can give them an assignment and just expect them to work independently for a while. If all year round kindergarten is like combat, the beginning of the school year is like World War III. The kids aren't used to the increase in work load from preschool, and coming from where there were probably more than one teacher in the room (if they have any sort of prior school experience at all). They all want you to tie their shoes, ask to go to the bathroom, and need help writing their name on their project (and doing their project) all at the same time. Meanwhile 50% forgot the direction that came after "go sit down," one may be crying because they miss their parents, one probably wet their pants, etc. It is a feat in itself to maintain control, accomplish some sort of work beyond learning the rules and routines and stay sane at the beginning of the school. This year- I have quickly discovered I have an above average LOW class of 21 students that are at school all day long. I have 5 students that really need one on one help all the time. And that, I simply cannot give because I am only. one. person.
NOW add in the fact that I am supposed to drink 8 16 ozs of water a day (which I've never gotten close to and even attempting it of course makes me pee all the time), eat every two hours, and "rest" during the day. I don't have time to drink, eat, pee, AND rest. I barely have time to think (which has also proven to be more difficult this year- darn pregnancy brain.) If I rush to eat and pee when the students are out of my room for special classes or recess, then I have no prep time to get things prepared or lesson plans written. And what happened to my stamina??? I can't read a story or sing a song without getting out of breath. My rear hurts when I sit down in the little plastic chairs that know how to hit my PIO welts just so.
I just feel like I can't do it. I just can't do both. I can't be a good teacher and do what is best for my babies all the time. Every day, at the end of the day, I feel bad that I didn't put my babies first all the time and eat or drink or rest more. I feel bad that I'm not being a good teacher and instilling the rules and routines as well as I usually do.
Oh, and add in the fact that this morning, while carrying my bags in to my room, I lost my balance and fell hard onto to school floor. Damn loosening ligaments. I of course, start crying thinking- that's it; I'm the worst mom ever- I am going to miscarry my babies because I carried too much and put school farther ahead than them. What a very nice way to start the week- and the school day. Right now my left ankle, knee and elbow and hand hurts. I'm praying hard that my abdomen doesn't start hurting.
If you've never stepped foot into a kindergarten classroom- it is a bit deserving of combat pay all year round. It isn't like the older grades where you can give them an assignment and just expect them to work independently for a while. If all year round kindergarten is like combat, the beginning of the school year is like World War III. The kids aren't used to the increase in work load from preschool, and coming from where there were probably more than one teacher in the room (if they have any sort of prior school experience at all). They all want you to tie their shoes, ask to go to the bathroom, and need help writing their name on their project (and doing their project) all at the same time. Meanwhile 50% forgot the direction that came after "go sit down," one may be crying because they miss their parents, one probably wet their pants, etc. It is a feat in itself to maintain control, accomplish some sort of work beyond learning the rules and routines and stay sane at the beginning of the school. This year- I have quickly discovered I have an above average LOW class of 21 students that are at school all day long. I have 5 students that really need one on one help all the time. And that, I simply cannot give because I am only. one. person.
NOW add in the fact that I am supposed to drink 8 16 ozs of water a day (which I've never gotten close to and even attempting it of course makes me pee all the time), eat every two hours, and "rest" during the day. I don't have time to drink, eat, pee, AND rest. I barely have time to think (which has also proven to be more difficult this year- darn pregnancy brain.) If I rush to eat and pee when the students are out of my room for special classes or recess, then I have no prep time to get things prepared or lesson plans written. And what happened to my stamina??? I can't read a story or sing a song without getting out of breath. My rear hurts when I sit down in the little plastic chairs that know how to hit my PIO welts just so.
I just feel like I can't do it. I just can't do both. I can't be a good teacher and do what is best for my babies all the time. Every day, at the end of the day, I feel bad that I didn't put my babies first all the time and eat or drink or rest more. I feel bad that I'm not being a good teacher and instilling the rules and routines as well as I usually do.
Oh, and add in the fact that this morning, while carrying my bags in to my room, I lost my balance and fell hard onto to school floor. Damn loosening ligaments. I of course, start crying thinking- that's it; I'm the worst mom ever- I am going to miscarry my babies because I carried too much and put school farther ahead than them. What a very nice way to start the week- and the school day. Right now my left ankle, knee and elbow and hand hurts. I'm praying hard that my abdomen doesn't start hurting.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)