It's Been a LONG Time

Woah Nelly- In the 4 years I've been typing out words on this blog, I have never been absent from blogging for that long before.  It was not my intention, and certainly not my plan, nor do I want to intentionally quit blogging.  Life has just been a whirlwind like never before these days.

Around Sam and Anna's 3rd birthday we got an offer on our house.  It had been on the market for just under 3 months and in that time we had over 20 showings.  I guess the 21st time's the charm, in this case.  I now truly get the phrase: cleaning with toddlers (preschoolers) is like brushing your teeth while eating oreos.  Utterly futile, but yet I managed to do it mostly on my own 21 times.  My husband is still working a state away and "living" with my MIL Monday-Friday.  I am on my fourth month of single parenting twin three year olds 5 days a week while full time teaching kindergarten.  But we are no longer trying to sell our house! 

Our closing is near the end of April, so instead of frantically cleaning, I am now trying to frantically pack in every spare moment I have.  Which is none.  So it is more common than not that I force myself to just pack one box before midnight on a work night before I get up at 5 am and start all over again: getting the two three year olds and myself out the door before 7 am, teaching all day, and then coming home to do the typical stuff on my own.

For awhile there, it was kind of up in the air about what I would do and where the little ones and I would live after our house wasn't ours anymore at the end of April.  The decision was made for us to temporarily live with a friend until the end of the school year (for about a month and a half) to finish out the year.  This way, I can keep my paychecks and insurance all the way through the end of August even with only working up until June 6th.  However, it also meant that since we would be staying in a different town, we also needed a short term new daycare for the month and a half.  I think we finally have a solution that will work.  A parent of one of my students (who I trust completely) offered to watch them for me.  I hope it works out well and the transitions to a new place and new sitter go better than I think for Sam and Anna.

On top of getting an accepted offer and closing on our current house in less than a month; packing, still single parenting M-F, and trying to figure out what to do after our house sold, we went on a trip to Kauai, Hawaii for a week.  This trip was planned last fall before the interview and new job offer; before deciding to uproot our family and move out of state.  This trip was our 10th anniversary present to each other, and incredibly needed after the crazy year we've had so far even if the timing was poor.  Before last week, we had only left Sam and Anna for one night at the same time, and I had only been gone for two nights (with Daddy home at the time.)  We were gone thousands of miles away for 6 days.  Although I missed them immensely, I tolerated the distance a lot better than I thought I would.  It was a perfect way to recharge my batteries for the marathon I'll be going through in the weeks ahead.

(In Kaua'i, Hawaii last week)

Just because we felt like there wasn't enough going on, the morning before our flight to Hawaii (a 12 hour trip), we looked at a house that I had been eyeing, in the area we would like to move to since we were both in the state together.  There had been others that I wanted to look at in the past month or so, but got accepted offers before I could road trip all the way over to see them.  We didn't want this one to slip through our fingers too.  We promptly fell in love with it and its potential and made an offer on the spot.  (It has a pond in the backyard with a dock! I drool over the kitchen!) The next day's traveling consisted of calling our Realtor during every layover trying to work out the details so we could have an accepted offer before our week of vacation truly began.  It was a very stressful 24 hours and totally not the way to begin a vacation, but by the time we woke up the morning after we arrived in Hawaii, we had an accepted offer on our new house!  It is a short sale, so it might take longer than a traditional sale to close (the seller's bank needs to approve the sale first) but that's okay for now because the kids and I wouldn't move into it until June 7th at the earliest anyway.  We have some time.

(The house we have an accepted offer on)

So that's the craziness that has prevented me from blogging lately.  In short: we have almost sold our house, we are packing most of our stuff into storage and moving in less than a month (to a temporary location first), we are in the process of buying a new house, we went to Hawaii for a week, and I am still single parenting my twin 3 year olds Monday-Friday while teaching kindergarten.  On top of all that, 2 years old was a breeze compared to this 3 year old stuff.  I am trying to be very understanding; after all they are going through the same chaotic transitions along with us - but at the same time, I wonder where my sweet, helpful, cooperative, good listeners went some days.  Overall, I cannot wait until summer days are here again and we can settle into a predictable, slower routine once more.  I think we are all looking forward to that.

The Post I've Been Meaning to Write for a Month

This post has been brewing for almost a month now.  We have major changes occurring over here, and a part of that was responsible for my dismal posting in November.  When you are mulling over completely changing major aspects of your life, it's a little hard to focus on much else.  It may also be wholly responsible for similar absenteeism after the new year.

Here's the crux of the changes:  My husband interviewed for and accepted a position at a new company.  This new job is an increase in pay (yay!) and also closer to our family (yay!).  This also means that we will be moving away from the state we've lived in for the past 10 years, and returning to the state we both grew up in (also yay!)  He was able to put off his starting date until January 2nd (kinda yay) but that also means that even with waiting a month to start, the roots we've put down here can't all be uprooted by then (not yay). 

In other words, we have a house to sell.  I have a job to leave- not the sort of job where you give two weeks notice.  On the upside though, the striping of my bargaining rights as an educator two years ago means I do not work under a contract anymore, so I can quit my job teaching kindergarten before the end of the school year.

So, when all that is added up, this is what we've got:  Daddy's going to be staying with Grandma (my MIL) Monday through Friday while he works, and driving the 4+ hour drive home on the weekends.  I will be solo parenting it Sunday night through Friday night every. single. week.  Our house is on the market, and we've had 5 showings so far.  Our current plan is that the kids and I are staying here until our house sells, because it would be hard impossible to lose my paycheck and also add in a new mortgage payment or rent on top of our current mortgage.  When we have a date of closing (pushed back as far as possible to give my school as much notice as possible), we'll make plans for all of us to be living together again 7 days a week.  That may mean renting for a bit until this Mama finds a new job.  That may mean living with my in laws for a short while too.  I don't want to rush into buying a new home before I know where I will be working.

Although, this may be a even larger change than we originally thought.  I've been pondering lately using this as an opportunity to leave the teaching profession.  Ideally, I'd love to stay at home with Sam and Anna, and so some sort of telecommuting job with hours that would allow Sam and Anna to not attend daycare.  In my wildest dreams, I'd love to try homeschooling them instead of sending them to public school in a few years.  Teaching (and education) isn't what it used to be- in the 10 short years I've been a kindergarten teacher, it has changed a lot.  I'm not sure it is what will make me the most happy anymore, and I'm not sure it is what will be the best fit for my own children either.  Truth be told, the tragic events of December 14th at Sandy Hook Elementary is playing in a role in this line of thinking (but of course, not the only factors).  Like many parents, I'm sure I was equally shook up about what happened.  But, as a kindergarten teacher, I can honestly say that on the next Monday morning, I have never felt less safe at a place I've worked.  I stared at those 19 sets of innocent eyes and felt the magnitude of the job I was and am entrusted with.  That being their teacher also meant that I would take a bullet for them.  But for Sam and Anna- the increase of testing, the increase of behavioral problems of other students impacting the learning of all, the lack of support from people outside AND inside the school walls, and now the concern for their lack of safety makes me question if a public school education is what's best for them.  Like health care and the political system, education in America needs fixing too- and I don't see it happening anytime soon.  And that is as far as I am going to touch upon Sandy Hook on my blog.

Pros to this big life change:  1. My husband's new job is 30 minutes from my parents and an hour from my MIL- pretty much in the middle of both.  I am overjoyed to finish this monkey business of driving 4+ hours every time we want to visit grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.  I am thrilled at the opportunities this will provide for Sam and Anna to build closer relationships with their grandparents.  2.  Both of us have been unhappy at multiple parts of our current jobs for some time.  My husband's current company is on track to be run into the ground because of poor management and decision making.  Something needed to be changed on his job end at least, and he's very excited about the new things he will be doing at the new job.  3.  All the other little things we don't like about where we currently are have the potential to be different and/or better.  The things we don't like about our current house could be much better where ever we end up. 4.) If I do decide to get a new teaching position, our future net income could be considerably larger than now.  My husband's larger salary on it's own may create opportunities that are not possible for us now- like homeschooling, or a job for me with non-traditional hours that allow for Sam and Anna to stay home.

Cons:  1.) Um- did you read the solo parenting while Daddy lives Monday through Friday in another state part above?  I know I can do it because I can do hard things, but I can only imagine how much more difficult it may be when you throw in needing to have the house in pristine condition for showings in less than 24 hours notice, and while working a more than full time job as a kindergarten teacher at the same time.  2.)  I love the current situation we have for daycare for Sam and Anna.  I know there is no way we can find something just like it.  (Our pastor's wife who has a childcare background takes care of Sam and Anna with only her 11 month old daughter there, and does preschool like activities with them, for a very reasonable price.  Plus, they have been building such a good relationship with their pastor too- he's our youth pastor and he's soooo good with kids.) 3.) All the little things we love about where we live now we could lose.  For example, the great park we have so much fun at, the local farmer's market, the local children's museum, the wood burning fireplace in our living room, living within walking distance of the public library, friends we'd leave behind, etc. 4.) Leaving my kindergarten class midyear would be extremely hard.  Not just in the explaining it to my class and students' parents kind of way, but also in that I've taught kindergarten for 7 years at the same school.  A huge amount of stuff in that super sized classroom is mine, and really will involve almost the same amount of packing, going though, etc. that our home will.  Yuck- how on earth am I going to carve out the time to pack and move not only our house stuff but my classroom stuff- again, all while working full time and solo parenting two toddlers 5 days a week???

Overall, I'm going with the idea that to take steps forward, you have to be willing to take risks.  We could have stayed where we were comfortable (here) and be resigned to the things we didn't like.  Or we could take the risk that the potential of this opportunity has the ability to be so much better than our current now.  Only time will tell- but I am excited at the possibilities once we get past this hard interim.

Yup, We Were Crazy

The fact that I'm sitting typing this post will show you that I did survive our first camping experience with Sam and Anna.  In fact, all of us did survive.  But, because of the extraordinary events that happened this past weekend, there were times that it truly felt like survival wasn't necessarily a guarantee!

We arrived Friday evening and things were okay at first.  Sam and Anna took 1 hour 20 minutes to fall asleep at bedtime in our pop up camper, but I expected that.  That's why we put them to bed at 8 pm more like usual without letting them stay up later.  While they were asleep we sat around the fire with my parents, brother, and sister-in-law.  At that point, our dog Bella found some rotten eggs off in the brush and had a heyday rolling around in it.  Things went downhill from there pretty fast.

The adults went to bed at 11 pm and just as I was falling asleep around midnight, Sam woke up crying.  I could tell pretty quickly that he had a dirty diaper (which has not happened during his night sleep for him since he was a little baby!) so we took him out to our car to change him to avoid waking up Anna.  He really would not go to sleep after we were done.  We spent 3 hours trying.  Thankfully Anna did not wake up- a small bone God threw us since the challenges we were going to face on our camping trip were just beginning. 

At about 2 am ( I had not slept at all yet) I started to feel ill.  I should probably mention that Anna had thrown up Wednesday night and there was a bug going around daycare.  I handed Sam off to my husband and booked it to the bathroom... a 5 minute walk away.  While I was headed there, it started to rain so I was soaked by the time I got back to our camper.  Let's just say that bathroom and I spent a lot of time together in the next 24 hours.  I should also add here that there were car alarms going off multiple times at around 3 am.  Anna again did not wake up (Sam was already awake).  If Anna had woken up, I probably would have marched over there and given that campsite a piece of my mind!

Sam finally fell asleep at around 4 am.  Anna woke up at 6:30 am.  I got 2 1/2 hours of restless sleep.  Sam got less than half of his usual night sleep.  Smarter people would have probably packed up and headed home at that point.  We did not.  Besides, I wasn't sure I could handle the 2 hour drive anyway.

Saturday, both  Sam and Anna were super cranky and fussy because they were so overtired.  They had fun, but any little thing would set them off.  I felt horrible.   We couldn't go for any long hikes in the woods or anywhere because I needed to be close to the bathroom.  My husband gave our dog a bath so she didn't stink.  I should also probably add in here that we spent over an hour trying to put up a screened shelter borrowed from friends without directions and eventually gave up.

Saturday afternoon Sam took a 1 1/2 hour nap ( I did too), which wasn't stellar, but at least it was something.  Anna slept for 3 hours.  While Anna was still sleeping, we discovered that Sam and gotten bit by a deer tick on his arm.  Since it had to be in for less than 24 hours, we shouldn't have to worry about Lyme's Disease.  We had a super time trying to hold him down and get that thing out though.

I started to feel a little better around dinner time and ate something for the first time that day and was able to keep it down.  Sam and Anna took 20 minutes to fall asleep at bedtime, so that was an improvement.  We headed to bed at 11 pm again after sitting around the fire and our night # 2 began.

This time Anna woke up when we tried to get in the camper, with her usual bloodcurdling scream-cries.  She had a dirty diaper this time, so like the night before with Sam, we took her out to the car to try to avoid waking up Sam.  And just like with Sam the night before, she would not go back to sleep for hours.  Around 2 am we finally succeeded, but I couldn't fall asleep because of the mosquitoes that had apparently gotten into out camper.  Then from there on out, Sam and Anna took turns waking up off and on for the rest of the night.  The mosquitoes were probably bothering them too- because the night before they had gotten quite a few bites on their faces while the slept.  This time, when they woke Sunday morning, they looked like they had chicken pox from all the mosquito bites. (I called them my polka dotted kids.)  It is also possible that they had trouble sleeping because they were cold. 

We ended up putting them in bed with us as a last ditch effort.  I was amazed that Sam co+slept pretty soundly but he was ridiculously overtired and that's certainly why.  Anna kept waking up off and on between us while I slept on about an inch of bed space.  They woke for the day at about 7:30 am.  I may have gotten more sleep the second night, but not by much.  What I did get was in short bits mostly less than 45 minutes each time.  I lost track of how often they were waking around 2:30 am.

You can imagine we were quick to pack up Sunday morning and head home but before we left with our overtired, cranky polka dotted toddlers, we noticed that this time Anna had gotten bit by a deer tick on her arm.  Of course.

So I'm not sure what the icing on the cake was of Sam and Anna's first camping trip- our dog rolling in something rotten?  The double toddler tick whammy?  Having the flu and the bathroom being impossibly far away?  We figured they wouldn't sleep spectacularly, but gosh, it would have been nice if they would have at least slept the worst on the same night so we could have had one decent night.  Who would have imagined all those other things happening too???  And this is minor, but I forgot to add that somewhere in the woods we lost Sam's amber teething necklace.  We are now discovering just how helpful that little necklace was to ease his teething discomfort.  I will be ordering a new one, stat!

We packed our camper and have no plans on using it again for a long time.  Maybe by next summer, the memories will have faded and we might be crazy enough to attempt camping trip #2 with two  2 1/2 year old toddlers.  But if I read this post again next summer, I really doubt it!!!

My polka dotted kids

I Can Cross That Off My Bucket List

If I had a bucket list, I am sure *Stand up for what I believe in by protesting would be on there. This week I have a good reason for being so absent in blogger-world: I was crossing that off the list.


I live in Wisconsin. I would imagine that if you kept abreast of national news, you would have some idea of the huge governmental upheaval in the state right now. In the most brief, short version possible, our new governor presented a Budget "Fix" bill last Thursday that was supposed to be voted on this week that attacks public workers' rights by eliminating collective bargaining by most unions (except police, state troopers, and firefighters), among other far-reaching changes included in the plan.

This would have disastrous effects for my job. Personally, I would lose about $5,000 annually from my salary. We live paycheck to paycheck as it is. But beyond that, the teacher's union would lose all say in bargaining for things in contracts that affect the quality of student's education... like keeping class sizes low. School boards would have the power to put 30 students in a elementary classroom... or 150 if they wanted to. There are so many different aspects of why this bill is so horrible for the state of Wisconsin (and really, for everyone in the nation- because it has the potential to be precedent setting) that I can't even get into it all. Nor do I really want to, because frankly, it's been an exhausting week thinking and actively voicing my opposition to it.

So this week I joined thousands of educators and other public employees like firefighters, police officers, and other unionized workers on the steps and inside my state capital to actively protest the signing of this bill. I've always thought that if you do nothing when you have an opinion, then you have no right to complain if what you want doesn't happen. Over 40,000 people were there on Thursday and again on Friday. It was an amazing thing to experience.

If this bill passes, I will probably actively search for another position. My husband is already looking and would apply for jobs elsewhere. Not only do I not want to work in education in this state under these conditions, but I absolutely do not want the kind of education that will exist if it passes for Sam and Anna. Wisconsin is 8th in the nation for educational quality right now- where will it be after this?

Living in Canada is looking better and better...

(Side note- I won't publish any negative comments, so don't even bother typing one. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and this is mine. If you have a different one, there are other places you can voice yours.)

Let Me Tell You About My Week

This is why I say life is never dull around here. With the excitement and far-from-the-norm events of about the last week or so, we definitely can't say our life is boring! Let's start from a week ago Wednesday:

Two Wednesdays ago Anna started to come down with pink eye in both eyes at the same time. We decided to give her Sam's eye drops (as the doctor hinted we might choose to do, *wink* *wink* if another family member became infected, as was certainly very likely). By Thursday afternoon her eyes were much, much worse than Sam's ever were- they were so swollen she couldn't see at all, and when you pried apart her eyelids to try and get the drops in, you could see that the whites of her eyes were covered completely in broken blood vessels (quite vampire-ish, really). Our daycare provider called me at work, worried that Anna was having a reaction to the medicine because it was getting worse, not better. We decided to try to get her in to see a pediatrician that day. I hustled around trying to find a way to cover my class so I could leave right then (because as a teacher it is almost always impossible to just leave work in a moment's notice), but then got a call back that they could fit her in at 4 pm. I had a parent meeting planned for after school that I couldn't cancel, so I just tried to make it brief so I could get out of there on time.

Meanwhile, a nasty storm was brewing outside and unbeknowst to me, an email was sent from the powers that be allowing us to leave early to get home before the roads got worse. I left work with enough time to pick up Anna from daycare (but realized that I did not have enough time to go home to get the double stroller, which I would need to haul both babies into the clinic), so I called our DCP en route to see if she would keep Sam a little late until I was done with Anna's appointment. She said that would be perfectly fine, but wanted to know where I was on the highway, because she just found out there was a 9 car pile up on the highway by her son who was stuck in traffic in a school bus, and was told they would probably be stuck there for close to 2 hours. We figured out a back way that I could get to her house detouring the highway (meanwhile, the roads were nasty- hello- 9 car pileup), I finally got to Anna (in one piece), and my poor baby looked awful. She could hardly see. We headed off to the doctors, about 30 minutes behind, but after a quick call to the office to let them know, I was reassured that that would be fine because of the weather conditions.

THEN, on our way (just Anna and I), my car decided to die while idling at a red light. In the left lane of a busy 4 lane road. On top of glare ice. Oh, and did I mention that our other vehicle was at a repair shop that day because it had been making a funny noise so my husband was at work without a vehicle? I panicked and tried to call him, but I couldn't get a hold of him. Not like he could do anything to help me, anyway. So I called our daycare provider (because our family all lives out of state) and there was no one else available that would be able to help. She sent her husband and another daycare daddy to come and give me their car so I could get to the appointment (because remember, we were both worried about Anna). Meanwhile, a police car pulls up behind me and after talking with me, offers to call a tow for me and takes my name and number. I leave and get to the appointment over 30 minutes late. Short version of the appointment: the doctor says to "give it another day and see if there's improvement." Um kay- so that appointment was totally not necessary.

On top of that- the repair shop couldn't get our vehicle to make the noise I heard, so they didn't do a damn thing to it. If it hadn't been in, I wouldn't have been driving our crappy car. And in my chaotic stressed state, I didn't think to find out where my car got towed, or by who (because I left it there so I could get to the doctor) and I couldn't remember what officer helped me, or even what kind of officer he was (state trooper, city cop, and if so, which city?). All that added up to a very difficult time locating where the heck my car was after we were all home that evening. Then later, I find out that I missed the 9 car pile up by close to a mere 10 minutes.

Still with me? I left out a lot of crazy details, but needless to say, I needed a big ol' glass of wine that evening.

That following weekend, we had rescheduled our 9 month professional photos because of Sam's pink eye the week before, so we needed to reschedule yet again. But Anna's eye did start to improve.

Then on Monday, I started to come down with pink eye myself. I self-doctored with the drops we had but tried to get through the day at work. Sam and Anna's 9 month pedi appointment was that afternoon, so I was going to leave early anyway. However, my eye got dramatically worse in a little under 2 hours that afternoon- very similar to Anna's eyes. I was worried, so I told my husband he would have to take them to the appointment by himself, because I needed to get to the walk-in clinic fast. Before I got there, my eye had completely swelled shut, and I had to drive with only 1 eye open. They gave me a stronger dose of eye drops plus an oral antibiotic, and an eye patch. Thank goodness my babies didn't get any shots at their appointment this time, because nobody should have to do two babies (with stranger anxiety) with shots by themselves. (Trust me, I did the flu shot appointments by myself, and it was extremely less than fun.) I won't even get into how the pharmacy couldn't find my Rx and I had to send my husband back later to get it, after waiting there for 30 minutes with eye oozing goo all over the place. I went to bed as soon as I could that night, slept 10 hours straight, and stayed home from work the next day.

Moving forward to Wednesday- I headed back to work that morning. It was the coldest morning of the winter so far, with actual temperatures of 20 below zero, plus a windchill on top of that. It was that morning (already feeling crummy because my eye was only starting to improve and I felt ugly and gross and wished I could stay home more days) that the vehicle that was making a funny noise for us but not the repair guys decided to stop blowing any warm air. So because I was already on my way, I had no choice but to drive with ridiculously cold air blowing (in an attempt to keep my windshield from being completely iced over) in -20 degree temps. I couldn't feel my feet 10 minutes into my 40 minute drive. I could hardly walk once I got to school because my legs were so so so cold (I was wearing thin dress pants and fashion boots, not snow pants and winter boots, you know?) I just kept trying to think of tropical places and warm drinks and okay- I even drove 20 mph over the speed limit to get into someplace warm as soon as I could. Being that cold for 40 minutes was way way worse that the swollen eye goop two days earlier. I cursed the repair guys for "not being able to find anything wrong with it" the week before. My co-worker lent me a heated blanket for the drive home so that helped!

If you made it through all that, I am impressed. Things have settled down a little in the last few days, so I finally have my bearing enough that I can sort through it all in my head. In short- life is certainly never dull around here- sometimes regardless if we have twins!