It's Been a LONG Time

Woah Nelly- In the 4 years I've been typing out words on this blog, I have never been absent from blogging for that long before.  It was not my intention, and certainly not my plan, nor do I want to intentionally quit blogging.  Life has just been a whirlwind like never before these days.

Around Sam and Anna's 3rd birthday we got an offer on our house.  It had been on the market for just under 3 months and in that time we had over 20 showings.  I guess the 21st time's the charm, in this case.  I now truly get the phrase: cleaning with toddlers (preschoolers) is like brushing your teeth while eating oreos.  Utterly futile, but yet I managed to do it mostly on my own 21 times.  My husband is still working a state away and "living" with my MIL Monday-Friday.  I am on my fourth month of single parenting twin three year olds 5 days a week while full time teaching kindergarten.  But we are no longer trying to sell our house! 

Our closing is near the end of April, so instead of frantically cleaning, I am now trying to frantically pack in every spare moment I have.  Which is none.  So it is more common than not that I force myself to just pack one box before midnight on a work night before I get up at 5 am and start all over again: getting the two three year olds and myself out the door before 7 am, teaching all day, and then coming home to do the typical stuff on my own.

For awhile there, it was kind of up in the air about what I would do and where the little ones and I would live after our house wasn't ours anymore at the end of April.  The decision was made for us to temporarily live with a friend until the end of the school year (for about a month and a half) to finish out the year.  This way, I can keep my paychecks and insurance all the way through the end of August even with only working up until June 6th.  However, it also meant that since we would be staying in a different town, we also needed a short term new daycare for the month and a half.  I think we finally have a solution that will work.  A parent of one of my students (who I trust completely) offered to watch them for me.  I hope it works out well and the transitions to a new place and new sitter go better than I think for Sam and Anna.

On top of getting an accepted offer and closing on our current house in less than a month; packing, still single parenting M-F, and trying to figure out what to do after our house sold, we went on a trip to Kauai, Hawaii for a week.  This trip was planned last fall before the interview and new job offer; before deciding to uproot our family and move out of state.  This trip was our 10th anniversary present to each other, and incredibly needed after the crazy year we've had so far even if the timing was poor.  Before last week, we had only left Sam and Anna for one night at the same time, and I had only been gone for two nights (with Daddy home at the time.)  We were gone thousands of miles away for 6 days.  Although I missed them immensely, I tolerated the distance a lot better than I thought I would.  It was a perfect way to recharge my batteries for the marathon I'll be going through in the weeks ahead.

(In Kaua'i, Hawaii last week)

Just because we felt like there wasn't enough going on, the morning before our flight to Hawaii (a 12 hour trip), we looked at a house that I had been eyeing, in the area we would like to move to since we were both in the state together.  There had been others that I wanted to look at in the past month or so, but got accepted offers before I could road trip all the way over to see them.  We didn't want this one to slip through our fingers too.  We promptly fell in love with it and its potential and made an offer on the spot.  (It has a pond in the backyard with a dock! I drool over the kitchen!) The next day's traveling consisted of calling our Realtor during every layover trying to work out the details so we could have an accepted offer before our week of vacation truly began.  It was a very stressful 24 hours and totally not the way to begin a vacation, but by the time we woke up the morning after we arrived in Hawaii, we had an accepted offer on our new house!  It is a short sale, so it might take longer than a traditional sale to close (the seller's bank needs to approve the sale first) but that's okay for now because the kids and I wouldn't move into it until June 7th at the earliest anyway.  We have some time.

(The house we have an accepted offer on)

So that's the craziness that has prevented me from blogging lately.  In short: we have almost sold our house, we are packing most of our stuff into storage and moving in less than a month (to a temporary location first), we are in the process of buying a new house, we went to Hawaii for a week, and I am still single parenting my twin 3 year olds Monday-Friday while teaching kindergarten.  On top of all that, 2 years old was a breeze compared to this 3 year old stuff.  I am trying to be very understanding; after all they are going through the same chaotic transitions along with us - but at the same time, I wonder where my sweet, helpful, cooperative, good listeners went some days.  Overall, I cannot wait until summer days are here again and we can settle into a predictable, slower routine once more.  I think we are all looking forward to that.

How We're Doing

Well, my husband is starting his third week working a state away, and spending time with us as a family on the weekends only.  Sometimes, I feel like, "hey- I got this part-time single mothering two two year olds while working full time as a teacher (which is more than a 40 hour a week job) thing down."  Other times, I cry and wish there was someone else to take turns getting up during the unfortunate sleep regression Sam and Anna are having probably due in part to the changes in our household.  It's rough when you finally fall asleep after midnight, get woken up multiple times before your alarm goes off at 5 am to start your day with 19 5-6 year olds then finish with two 2 year olds without any real break from little people.  This sleep deprivation I've got going on is close to rivaling what I had when two newborns were in this house.  I'm not at hallucination level yet, but at least in those days I didn't have to look presentable for work and could nap during the day.  It is also very lonely when you spend most of your awake time talking to kids.  Some evenings I've really craved some adult interaction.

I think it would even mostly be okay including that if I could leave my house in any state- i.e. not have it spotless in less than 24 hour's notice for showings.  If people like to use the saying that cleaning with toddlers in the house is like trying to brush your teeth while eating oreos, imagine how well cleaning for a house showing (meaning even more spotless than I'd do for house guests) with two 2 year olds goes... when a.) you still have to work during the day and b.) there's no one to entertain help distract said 2 year olds to keep from destroying what was just perfectly cleaned.  Oy.  We have had 4 showings since I've been on my own during the week, and an Open House this weekend.  I want my house to sell, but I'm privately thrilled that we don't have any more scheduled as of right now, so I should be able to let a few things slide for a couple of days.  Of course, that could also end up biting me in the rear if I get a call for a showing with only a few hours in the evening to get our house perfect again!

One thing I'm really appreciating being in our near future is the possible help that will exist by living near our family.  The fact is that when my husband leaves for the week to work, I literally am pretty much on my own.  There is no going over to my parents for dinner for the evening, or leaving the kids with someone so I can run a few errands.  I can't wait to have my parents babysit on a regular basis once we live closer!

The first weekend, I ended up driving with Sam and Anna to my inlaws so my husband didn't have to drive the 4+ hour drive home.  We also celebrated our "Christmas" with them.  It was my first roadtrip with Sam and Anna alone, and I did indeed survive the whole 5 hour one way drive with them.  That was after cleaning the house in the morning for two showings during the time we would be gone.  On the return trip we may or may not have stopped at McDonalds twice... and watched over 3 hours of movies on the DVD player... I'm not admitting to a thing!  What matters is that we all arrived home with minimal mishaps or tears- myself included, right?

How are Sam and Anna doing with not seeing Daddy Monday-Friday?  Pretty good, I think.  We facetime every evening to say prayers together, so they get to see him every day, even if that isn't in person.  We've done a lot of talking about the whys and wheres and I think they get it on a very basic level that Daddy's working in Minnesota and staying with Grandma because it is too far away to drive home every night.  We've told them that people are coming to look at our house to see if they want to buy it so we can buy a new place to live near all their Grandmas and Grandpas and they are excited about that part of it.  Sam says more often throughout the day that he wants his Daddy, and our daycare provider told me there was one nap that he woke up from when he keep saying while upset that he wanted his Daddy, but it doesn't seem to be adversely affecting either him or Anna in general.  They have both continued to be pretty well behaved (no major behavior changes with the change) so that's been helpful too.

Right now, I'm just taking things one day at a time, and sometimes one thing on the agenda at a time.  If we get out the door for daycare by 7 am without many issues, I feel successful.  If the night goes by without major meltdowns and my temper isn't fried by bedtime, I feel good.  If I manage to squeeze in some playtime between all the chores I have to do that I used to share with my husband M-F: (dinner, bath, bedtime, getting things ready for the next day, etc.), bonus.  My expectations may be low, but at least they aren't too high and resulting in a feeling like I'm failing at doing this all on my own most of the time.  Right now, I feel good.  I've got this and I'm doing okay.

The Post I've Been Meaning to Write for a Month

This post has been brewing for almost a month now.  We have major changes occurring over here, and a part of that was responsible for my dismal posting in November.  When you are mulling over completely changing major aspects of your life, it's a little hard to focus on much else.  It may also be wholly responsible for similar absenteeism after the new year.

Here's the crux of the changes:  My husband interviewed for and accepted a position at a new company.  This new job is an increase in pay (yay!) and also closer to our family (yay!).  This also means that we will be moving away from the state we've lived in for the past 10 years, and returning to the state we both grew up in (also yay!)  He was able to put off his starting date until January 2nd (kinda yay) but that also means that even with waiting a month to start, the roots we've put down here can't all be uprooted by then (not yay). 

In other words, we have a house to sell.  I have a job to leave- not the sort of job where you give two weeks notice.  On the upside though, the striping of my bargaining rights as an educator two years ago means I do not work under a contract anymore, so I can quit my job teaching kindergarten before the end of the school year.

So, when all that is added up, this is what we've got:  Daddy's going to be staying with Grandma (my MIL) Monday through Friday while he works, and driving the 4+ hour drive home on the weekends.  I will be solo parenting it Sunday night through Friday night every. single. week.  Our house is on the market, and we've had 5 showings so far.  Our current plan is that the kids and I are staying here until our house sells, because it would be hard impossible to lose my paycheck and also add in a new mortgage payment or rent on top of our current mortgage.  When we have a date of closing (pushed back as far as possible to give my school as much notice as possible), we'll make plans for all of us to be living together again 7 days a week.  That may mean renting for a bit until this Mama finds a new job.  That may mean living with my in laws for a short while too.  I don't want to rush into buying a new home before I know where I will be working.

Although, this may be a even larger change than we originally thought.  I've been pondering lately using this as an opportunity to leave the teaching profession.  Ideally, I'd love to stay at home with Sam and Anna, and so some sort of telecommuting job with hours that would allow Sam and Anna to not attend daycare.  In my wildest dreams, I'd love to try homeschooling them instead of sending them to public school in a few years.  Teaching (and education) isn't what it used to be- in the 10 short years I've been a kindergarten teacher, it has changed a lot.  I'm not sure it is what will make me the most happy anymore, and I'm not sure it is what will be the best fit for my own children either.  Truth be told, the tragic events of December 14th at Sandy Hook Elementary is playing in a role in this line of thinking (but of course, not the only factors).  Like many parents, I'm sure I was equally shook up about what happened.  But, as a kindergarten teacher, I can honestly say that on the next Monday morning, I have never felt less safe at a place I've worked.  I stared at those 19 sets of innocent eyes and felt the magnitude of the job I was and am entrusted with.  That being their teacher also meant that I would take a bullet for them.  But for Sam and Anna- the increase of testing, the increase of behavioral problems of other students impacting the learning of all, the lack of support from people outside AND inside the school walls, and now the concern for their lack of safety makes me question if a public school education is what's best for them.  Like health care and the political system, education in America needs fixing too- and I don't see it happening anytime soon.  And that is as far as I am going to touch upon Sandy Hook on my blog.

Pros to this big life change:  1. My husband's new job is 30 minutes from my parents and an hour from my MIL- pretty much in the middle of both.  I am overjoyed to finish this monkey business of driving 4+ hours every time we want to visit grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.  I am thrilled at the opportunities this will provide for Sam and Anna to build closer relationships with their grandparents.  2.  Both of us have been unhappy at multiple parts of our current jobs for some time.  My husband's current company is on track to be run into the ground because of poor management and decision making.  Something needed to be changed on his job end at least, and he's very excited about the new things he will be doing at the new job.  3.  All the other little things we don't like about where we currently are have the potential to be different and/or better.  The things we don't like about our current house could be much better where ever we end up. 4.) If I do decide to get a new teaching position, our future net income could be considerably larger than now.  My husband's larger salary on it's own may create opportunities that are not possible for us now- like homeschooling, or a job for me with non-traditional hours that allow for Sam and Anna to stay home.

Cons:  1.) Um- did you read the solo parenting while Daddy lives Monday through Friday in another state part above?  I know I can do it because I can do hard things, but I can only imagine how much more difficult it may be when you throw in needing to have the house in pristine condition for showings in less than 24 hours notice, and while working a more than full time job as a kindergarten teacher at the same time.  2.)  I love the current situation we have for daycare for Sam and Anna.  I know there is no way we can find something just like it.  (Our pastor's wife who has a childcare background takes care of Sam and Anna with only her 11 month old daughter there, and does preschool like activities with them, for a very reasonable price.  Plus, they have been building such a good relationship with their pastor too- he's our youth pastor and he's soooo good with kids.) 3.) All the little things we love about where we live now we could lose.  For example, the great park we have so much fun at, the local farmer's market, the local children's museum, the wood burning fireplace in our living room, living within walking distance of the public library, friends we'd leave behind, etc. 4.) Leaving my kindergarten class midyear would be extremely hard.  Not just in the explaining it to my class and students' parents kind of way, but also in that I've taught kindergarten for 7 years at the same school.  A huge amount of stuff in that super sized classroom is mine, and really will involve almost the same amount of packing, going though, etc. that our home will.  Yuck- how on earth am I going to carve out the time to pack and move not only our house stuff but my classroom stuff- again, all while working full time and solo parenting two toddlers 5 days a week???

Overall, I'm going with the idea that to take steps forward, you have to be willing to take risks.  We could have stayed where we were comfortable (here) and be resigned to the things we didn't like.  Or we could take the risk that the potential of this opportunity has the ability to be so much better than our current now.  Only time will tell- but I am excited at the possibilities once we get past this hard interim.

Big Kids

After several nights in a row of Sam climbing into Anna's crib (while wearing a sleep sack) and tackling her every 2 minutes at bedtime, and several days in a row of reports of good naps in beds at daycare in separate rooms, we decided that it was time to make the switch to beds at home as well.   Oh well- the sleep sack trick to keep them from climbing out bought us over a year longer of crib use and for that I'm thankful. Sam and Anna have been napping at daycare in beds since they turned 2 and when we made the change in daycares in August, they continued napping in beds there as well.    For about 6 months it has worked just fine to nap in beds at daycare in separate rooms, but sleep in cribs in the same room at home.  But not so much anymore.  I was getting weary from the bedtime antics that seemed to be amping up- not decreasing.

All we did this weekend was basically make the transition from one room with two cribs to two rooms with two beds, and boy was it a lot of work.  First, we had to clear out our old guest room.  Then we went shopping for two beds.  We lucked out and bought mattresses and box springs at a local furniture warehouse sale this weekend.  My FIL is making bed frames for Sam and Anna and we should be able to get them in November so for now, they just have simple metal frames underneath.  While Sam and Anna napped Saturday, Daddy painted Anna's new room a not-babyish shade of pink.  Before nap, we had Sam and Anna pick their favorite pink paint chip from the collection of about 50 shades I brought home from the store.  After putting them down for nap, we picked our own favorites, and actually ended up picking the shade Sam selected first.  The rest of Saturday ended up finding new homes for the old guest room stuff once we realized there was no way we'd have enough time to disassemble two cribs and assemble two beds before bedtime.

Sunday we worked on moving around furniture between the two rooms and the cribs got removed before beds were made.  For now, Anna is keeping the white dressers and Sam will eventually get new darker work furniture.  I'm waiting until we have his bed, so that we can select a furniture color that goes with his wood bed frame.  Anna's bed frame will be painted white.

Naps in the new beds in separate rooms on Sunday went.... less than great.  For the first time sleeping in beds at home, we barely got them to fall asleep.  I consider it a minor miracle that both finally did sleep for a little bit.  I am surprised that after napping for so long at daycare without even thinking about getting out of the bed, the very first time we attempted a nap in a bed at home, Sam's feet hit the floor and he decided that it would be a good idea to open the door; repeatedly.  I thought for sure we'd have a while before reaching that point. 

The first night sleeping in their own rooms in beds went better, but only because I laid with Sam until he fell asleep.  I was a little sentimental that it was the first time ever since before they were a speck of dividing cells that they spent the night sleeping alone, apart from each other.  Once they fell asleep, they both slept through the night without waking until they had to get up for daycare the next morning.  Whew!  I was worried that would have gone horribly wrong and I'd be up for hours in the middle of the night.  Thank goodness that wasn't the case!

We still have a lot to do- bed frames probably painted and put together one we get them, new furniture/dressers for Sam, wall hangings/decorations for both rooms, and remove the rest of the storage stuff in the old guest room closet.  For now though, our big boy and girl are sleeping in their own rooms in big kid beds-  the last bit of baby in them: their cribs, are gone.  And this mama is feeling just a wee bit sad that I'm never going to have a little one in a crib ever again.

Sam's bed

 

Anna's bed

 

Anna's room

 

First time sleeping in her big girl bed

 

First time sleeping in his big boy bed

Adjusting to a New Daycare

I did not imagine that the transition to a new daycare would go like this.

It has gone so much better than I thought it realistically would go.

Sam and Anna have done great.  The only hiccup in the entire newness of it all has been that Anna did not nap a few days in the first 6 days they spent all day at the new daycare.  But, she also decided to take a nap strike last Saturday at home in the middle of those 6 days, so I'm not faulting the new daycare that much for that hiccup in her normal routine.  They have had a few accidents (less than 1 a day between the two of them), but they have been potty trained for less than a month so far, so that doesn't phase me at all either.  The same thing could have happened at home too, if I was still with them all day long.

But most importantly, I know they adore their new daycare provider, Rachel.  They don't want to leave when I arrive at the end of the day.  They are excited to go in the mornings. Randomly one evening Sam stated, "I miss Rachel."  During our bedtime prayers, Sam and Anna have now decided we need to add in Rachel, Pastor Ben, and Eliza (their 6 month old daughter) every night.  Sometimes their dog Toby gets put in our nightly prayer too.  Now I know that she could still be the "shinny new thing" with lots of newness appeal and once that wears off, their enthusiasm could wane- but I do think it is a really good sign that a.) they are adjusting well b.) they are getting high quality care.

Overall, I am so happy with how easy and great the transition to a new daycare provider has gone for us!

Utterly Exhausting

Sam is utterly exhausting me these days.  He's into everything- like a mini cyclone moving from one thing to the next in our home.  No matter where our dog goes, he's chasing her and showering her with affection- whether our dog is in the mood, or not.

In the kitchen, he's opening the refrigerator and trying to take things off the shelves.  Once I put out that fire, he's splashing in or attempting to dump over the dog's water dish.  If I block that area with my body, he's pushing buttons on the dishwasher and starting the cycle hundreds of times a day.  He's attempting to pull things out of the drawers above the childproofed cabinets.  I fear that it is only a matter of time before he's scaling the counter and climbing on top of the refrigerator- probably while my back is turned to wipe up the wet messes he's left behind.  The kid-friendly things in the kitchen just aren't appealing to him anymore.

If I redirect him to the dining room, he's moving the heavy chairs and tipping them over.  No one's gotten crushed by a chair, thank goodness- at least not yet.  He's climbing on top of the chairs to try to get on top of the table.

In the living room, he's pushing buttons on the tv, opening the fireplace doors to try to play in the ashes, or using the Leapfrog table as a stepping stool to climb onto the bay window ledge.  Or he's getting ready to dive bomb off the couches, headfirst onto the floor... or onto an unsuspecting Anna.

If he notices the bathroom door is open, he's unwinding toilet paper and trying to eat it.  He's flushing the toilet over and over, or trying to chew on the plunger handle.  (At least nothing that doesn't belong there has gone IN the toilet yet.)  He's channeling his inner Tarzan with the shower curtain.

In the bedrooms he's opening and closing drawers or closet doors like he's in a race car race-  showing no mercy to  Anna's fingers if they get in the way!  He's turning the laundry baskets over to use as a stepping stool to climb higher.  He's reorganzing clothing from drawers by spreading it all over the floor.

I almost forgot to add that one of his newest favorite activities is to tackle Anna while she's flat on her back for a diaper change.  As if changing wiggly toddlers that resist diaper changes isn't challenge enough!

Anna's into things, but not to this extent, thank goodness.  It takes almost all of my time just keeping Sam out of trouble lately. This part of toddlerhood, I could do without. 

But on the other hand- Sam's exhibiting his caring and loving ways on a whole new level nowadays.  If I tell Sam and Anna to go get their shoes to go out, he grabs Anna's first, and brings them to her or me, before he gets his own.  He helps put our dog in her kennel when we leave, and lets her out when we get home.  Our dog Bella might not always be in the mood for his attention, but his doggy cuddles for her are adorable.  He knows that we clean up before doing something else like eat in our chairs, take a bath or go somewhere, so often he'll start cleaning up if I tell him we're going to do something else, and always helps me clean up if I ask.  The other night, he heard the bath water filling up the tub and started picking up toys on his own without being prompted. 

Now this part of toddlerhood, I hope he never loses. :)

It's Funny How Things Change

When Sam and Anna were newborns, I loved the sleepers that zipped right up. Easy, fast, and since we had what seemed like a million diaper changes a day, convenient. I remember people telling me not to get the kind with snaps, because I would hate fumbling with them in the middle of the night. But after Anna began her pooping at night stage, I started to dress her in sleepers that had snaps. With the snaps, we could keep her swaddled at night during diaper changes (since we used the miracle blanket) and just take out her legs and unsnap the bottom part. This was great because it made it easier for her to go back to sleep afterwards. Once Sam and Anna got more mobile by rolling or crawling and Anna grew out of her poorly timed dirty diapers, we switched back to zipper sleepers. I loved them because they kept little feet warm during the winter months. This time, I typically used the sleepers with grips on the bottom for our little cruisers who loved to practice walking with our help. I even bemoaned in an old post the fact that it was getting harder to find sleepers in 12 month size; Carters and Children's Place brands being the only options I found. I didn't want footless pajamas just yet. But something began to change around the time of that post. Sam and Anna really started resisting getting changed and dressed and it became nearly impossible to get them into a one-piece pajama without a fight, even with the zipper. Footless two-piece pajamas are now a staple in Sam and Anna's wardrobe. I hardly ever reach for the few one-piece pajamas still hanging in their closet.

Then (2 months old, wearing newborn sized sleepers)

Now (15 months old: Anna wearing Old Navy 6-12 month pjs, Sam wearing 12 month pjs)

Bibs have been the same way for us. At first, those tiny baby bibs looked cute, but we really never used them. Sam and Anna used to spit up so much due to their GERD, that it was much more functional to just drape a burp cloth under their chins to catch all the liquid. We weren't the type of people to have them wear bibs most of their awake hours for the drool, either. I'd just wipe the drool with one of the burp cloths we had laying all over, and move on. When we started solid foods, we used these cute handmade bibs we got for gifts. Sam and Anna spilled a lot, and it was a pain to wash them in the laundry so often. I heard about Bumkin bibs, and bought a few and they were just what we needed! It was so easy to wipe them down after a messy meal, and the spot to catch food at the bottom was great. They could be thrown in the laundry, too, so after a super messy meal (like one of Sam and Anna's favorite- lasagna) I could rinse them then toss the bibs right in with a load of laundry. Sam and Anna then started to figure out that the Velcro was no match for them, and began to pull the Bumkin bibs off in the middle of every meal. Not fun. So we've moved back to the homemade bibs (with the snap closures) for now. Not having a place to catch food on the bottom is a bummer, but less gets spilled now than did with purees, so we can at least reuse the bibs several times before washing them.

Then (first finger foods)

Now (using utensils to eat)

These two things are just examples of how what works for one person (or baby) might not work for another, and even what works for you right now, might change too!