How We're Doing

Well, my husband is starting his third week working a state away, and spending time with us as a family on the weekends only.  Sometimes, I feel like, "hey- I got this part-time single mothering two two year olds while working full time as a teacher (which is more than a 40 hour a week job) thing down."  Other times, I cry and wish there was someone else to take turns getting up during the unfortunate sleep regression Sam and Anna are having probably due in part to the changes in our household.  It's rough when you finally fall asleep after midnight, get woken up multiple times before your alarm goes off at 5 am to start your day with 19 5-6 year olds then finish with two 2 year olds without any real break from little people.  This sleep deprivation I've got going on is close to rivaling what I had when two newborns were in this house.  I'm not at hallucination level yet, but at least in those days I didn't have to look presentable for work and could nap during the day.  It is also very lonely when you spend most of your awake time talking to kids.  Some evenings I've really craved some adult interaction.

I think it would even mostly be okay including that if I could leave my house in any state- i.e. not have it spotless in less than 24 hour's notice for showings.  If people like to use the saying that cleaning with toddlers in the house is like trying to brush your teeth while eating oreos, imagine how well cleaning for a house showing (meaning even more spotless than I'd do for house guests) with two 2 year olds goes... when a.) you still have to work during the day and b.) there's no one to entertain help distract said 2 year olds to keep from destroying what was just perfectly cleaned.  Oy.  We have had 4 showings since I've been on my own during the week, and an Open House this weekend.  I want my house to sell, but I'm privately thrilled that we don't have any more scheduled as of right now, so I should be able to let a few things slide for a couple of days.  Of course, that could also end up biting me in the rear if I get a call for a showing with only a few hours in the evening to get our house perfect again!

One thing I'm really appreciating being in our near future is the possible help that will exist by living near our family.  The fact is that when my husband leaves for the week to work, I literally am pretty much on my own.  There is no going over to my parents for dinner for the evening, or leaving the kids with someone so I can run a few errands.  I can't wait to have my parents babysit on a regular basis once we live closer!

The first weekend, I ended up driving with Sam and Anna to my inlaws so my husband didn't have to drive the 4+ hour drive home.  We also celebrated our "Christmas" with them.  It was my first roadtrip with Sam and Anna alone, and I did indeed survive the whole 5 hour one way drive with them.  That was after cleaning the house in the morning for two showings during the time we would be gone.  On the return trip we may or may not have stopped at McDonalds twice... and watched over 3 hours of movies on the DVD player... I'm not admitting to a thing!  What matters is that we all arrived home with minimal mishaps or tears- myself included, right?

How are Sam and Anna doing with not seeing Daddy Monday-Friday?  Pretty good, I think.  We facetime every evening to say prayers together, so they get to see him every day, even if that isn't in person.  We've done a lot of talking about the whys and wheres and I think they get it on a very basic level that Daddy's working in Minnesota and staying with Grandma because it is too far away to drive home every night.  We've told them that people are coming to look at our house to see if they want to buy it so we can buy a new place to live near all their Grandmas and Grandpas and they are excited about that part of it.  Sam says more often throughout the day that he wants his Daddy, and our daycare provider told me there was one nap that he woke up from when he keep saying while upset that he wanted his Daddy, but it doesn't seem to be adversely affecting either him or Anna in general.  They have both continued to be pretty well behaved (no major behavior changes with the change) so that's been helpful too.

Right now, I'm just taking things one day at a time, and sometimes one thing on the agenda at a time.  If we get out the door for daycare by 7 am without many issues, I feel successful.  If the night goes by without major meltdowns and my temper isn't fried by bedtime, I feel good.  If I manage to squeeze in some playtime between all the chores I have to do that I used to share with my husband M-F: (dinner, bath, bedtime, getting things ready for the next day, etc.), bonus.  My expectations may be low, but at least they aren't too high and resulting in a feeling like I'm failing at doing this all on my own most of the time.  Right now, I feel good.  I've got this and I'm doing okay.