Since when does a birthday party invitation for Sunday from 12-2 p.m. mean "please feel free to invite yourself to our home for as long as you would like without asking if it is okay?"
About a week to go until Sam and Anna's party, we talked to my FIL and Step-MIL last night and were informed that they will be arriving Friday and staying at our home until Sunday. The key word is informed. They did not ask if it was okay, and when my husband tried to get them to not come that early by telling them we already had plans for Friday evening, they refused to change their plan. This means the plans we had to clean Saturday are now pushed back to Thursday evening as well. Anyone with a larger dog and two babies knows that a house cleaned 4 days before you want it to be clean will not stay clean. I was not planning on entertaining them for that long. I do not want to entertain them for that long. This is the same MIL who decided to rearrange my kitchen counters for me when they visited while Sam and Anna were newborns, because she didn't like where we kept the coffee maker. They also smoke (not inside our home, but still.) I don't know how I will tolerate her for that many days while also trying to get things set up for the party.
Then, the icing on the cake happened when I talked to my own mother a few hours later and was informed that they will be coming on Sunday... but plan to stay until Tuesday. Again, did not ask if this was okay, and again, told us this with only a week's warning.
At least my husband's mother is respectfully arriving on Saturday and leaving Sunday. That seems more reasonable to me, and what I thought would be happening with all three sets of grandparents until I was told otherwise last night.
So it now looks like our birthday party from 12-2 pm on Sunday has now been extended from Friday to Tuesday . Lovely. Maybe I missed the memo that Sam and Anna are turning 21 and need several days to party it up. Since I can't take any more days off for their birthday, I'm not very thrilled about the "plans" that were made by both sets of people without any regard to what works for our family. I will suck it up though, because I know it is good for Sam and Anna to see their grandparents. However, I might just lose my marbles by the end of that week- my husband has been given fair warning!
I am more glad than ever that Sam and Anna's birthday falls midweek and we are taking the day off to spend it with them to celebrate as just the four of us. I am excited for the specialness of that day.
12 comments:
I wrote a post about this a couple weeks ago. I hate when people try and tell me what to do instead of asking. I hope everything works out the way you want.
I am also a mom of multiples. I have 14 month old twins boys.
http://mommyofgg.blogspot.com/
Wow, I'd be livid!
Inconsiderate and frustrating!
I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets stressed out by out of town company. Sometimes I feel like I'm too uptight about this kind of stuff. I think it's the Type A control freak in me-- I hate deviating from routines for both my sake & Camden's. And honestly? I just don't much like sharing my space. Maybe that's selfish, but it's just how I am.
The only difference between us is that I'd be thrilled if it was my parents coming to stay w/ us-- notice or not. But I know you have a different relationship w/ your parents than I do w/ mine.
Also? I would NEVER call someone & TELL them I was coming to stay at their house. No way. What ever happened to asking?!
I love your blog.
I could have written this, or something so similar.
And yep. Two big dogs and two babies, and the house stays clean for about an hour before it needs work again.
I didn't post the whole ugly story, but it was so bad with my MIL staying with us for a month after the babies' birth that we barely speak now. Christmas in Cleveland was a challenge, and now that my husband has decided that we will Skype every Sunday evening, even that is annoying at times.
But yes, I could totally see my family doing the same kind of stuff.
We've had talks and they now all stay at a hotel when they visit our town. :)
OMG - this sounds horrible. It's so unfair when family imposes on you that way. Don't they get it? sheesh. Good luck.
Wow, how annoying! Hope you survive the experience with your sanity intact.
Oh my word. Bring on the wine!!! =)
When Lexi turned 1 we had out of town company for 2 weeks straight (one week on each end of her birthday party). I was so ready to be company free by the end of that stint! Everything changes when you have kids and grandparents are in the picture (ESPECIALLY when you have the first grandkid on both sides..yikes). Good luck! I'm so glad you get to have their special day to yourselves!!!
Dude, you're being way more civil than I would be. I'd probably offer to look up nearby hotels for them.
People, even and especially family, just don't seem to get what a strain their well-intentioned visits are on our routines. Kids (and parents!) need routines. My husband's family will say things like, "oh, it's okay if he's fussy" when they overstay their visit and I just shoot them with "no, it's not" daggers. A little fussiness now means bedtime struggle which means poor sleep which means mommy suffers. Not okay, a-holes.
Yikes! So stressful - specially when you are celebrating such a special occasion! Hope things go smoothly!
Oh man, I would go crazy! I couldn't handle it. I'll definitely be thinking of you. I hope it goes well. Anxious for an update if you're sane enough. :) :)
Happy birthday Sam and Anna!
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