Sam and Anna have almost always gotten along well in the past. Once we got down the "count to 3" and then later "count to 20" routine when they wanted the whatever the other had to play with, it has been close to smooth sailing since then as far as sibling interacting goes.
Sometimes having twins is awesome. The special bond they have with only the other is apparent so frequently. There was a stage when they did not like being apart, like when we had Mommy-Daughter trips to Target or Daddy-Son grocery store runs. Ask either one who their best friend is, and each will reply with their twin's name. While a small piece of me wishes that I could sometimes be the "best friend," I know how lucky they are to have the special bond they have as twins and that their bond with me is special and different too.
Sam and Anna are also very compassionate towards each other. They kiss each other's injuries without prompting and ask if the injured is okay. They help each other out all day long and more often than not use please and thank you towards each other without reminders.
But lately, the sibling stuff has been cranked up a notch. They still have that special bond of course and pepper their conversations with compassion and manners (and a few words of twin-speak: words they both seem to understand but sound like made-up words to me) but these days the antagonizing is driving me nuts. I see shades of my own relationship with my brother growing up mirrored in how Sam and Anna are acting towards each other lately. That brothers-are-put-on-this-earth-to-annoy-and-tease sisters while sisters-are-put-on-this-earth-to-drive-brothers-crazy age old practice. Ugh.
Sam kicks Anna just to annoy her when they are sitting at the breakfast bar (not playfully or trying to hurt her).
Anna pretends to eat Sam (as a wild thing or animal) joyfully even though he tells her to stop repeatedly as he gets upset.
Sam tries to chase Anna with the lawnmower while she shrieks and seeks refuge in my arms.
Anna takes a toy from Sam just because he has it and she doesn't want him to have it.
And the list goes on and on.
All totally normal behavior, I think, but it gets tiring and old fast.
I feel like we do everything to encourage the opposite and foster a positive sibling relationship:
We talk though their feelings and give them the words to successfully extinguish the unwanted behavior in the hopes that they learn how to do it on their own most of the time in the someday future.
We acknowledge, encourage and celebrate the great moments of twindom and siblinghood- working together, solving their problems with each other well and using kindness.
We give them opportunities to try to work things out on their own before rushing in and fixing it.
We provide and encourage time to be separate and do things on their own- that they both don't have to play the same thing at the same time, be in the same room at the same time, or interact with us as their parents at the same time.
I think we handling it just fine... I'm just wishing I didn't have 15 more year of this on the way!
Showing posts with label twins. Show all posts
Showing posts with label twins. Show all posts
Monday, February 11, 2013
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Ridiculously Cute
Yesterday Sam bumped his head and before I could do anything about it, Anna bent over and kissed it for him. I just watched and let her do the comforting. But the cuteness doesn't stop there.
Then when Anna attempted to kiss it again (because according to Sam, she missed the spot a little and he was directing her to where she should kiss), they ended up bumping heads together, so they then took turns kissing each other's heads, pointing out where the correct spot was to kiss. But the cuteness doesn't even stop there.
After that, Sam said, "Let's do it again," and then they purposely bumped their heads together (gently) just so they could give each other "feel-better" kisses one more time.
Punctuated by a few "I love yous" and they went right back to playing together nicely, side by side.
Too. cute. for. words.
Then when Anna attempted to kiss it again (because according to Sam, she missed the spot a little and he was directing her to where she should kiss), they ended up bumping heads together, so they then took turns kissing each other's heads, pointing out where the correct spot was to kiss. But the cuteness doesn't even stop there.
After that, Sam said, "Let's do it again," and then they purposely bumped their heads together (gently) just so they could give each other "feel-better" kisses one more time.
Punctuated by a few "I love yous" and they went right back to playing together nicely, side by side.
Too. cute. for. words.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Built In Best Friends For Life
Sometimes having twins is the best thing in the world.
Through life's ups...
and downs...
You know your children will always have someone by their side; a built in best friend for life!
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Pink and Blue
So obviously, with a boy and a girl in our set of twins, colors generally tend towards the gender specific around here. While I've mentioned before that we don't gender-stereotype toys (my darling little girl loves the workbench more than her brother and my sweet little boy adores taking babies for a "walk" in the pink play stroller), it's a bit harder to do the same with clothing. I personally love the variety of non-pink and non-purple clothing that Anna wears and I find that my faves of her stuff are usually not those colors. However, she does wear a lot of pink and purple and Sam does not. Sam's clothing is usually blues, browns, and reds.
Initially, Sam used a blue sippy cup and Anna had a pink sippy cup; Sam was put in our blue towel after bath while Anna was wrapped up in pink. I don't know when Sam started realizing that he rarely got the pink stuff, but it started a shift in our household. Sam now gravitates towards pink. Anna likes to give up the pink and get the blues. Now, if what we have is pink and blue, almost 100% of the time, they will want the opposite of their typical gender color. Sam now always chooses to sit in the pink booster chair drinking out of the pink sippy cup and Anna's in the blue booster with the blue cup. If we ask what towel they want, Sam will request pink, Anna asks for blue. It makes total sense to me though- don't we all kind of desire more what we don't usual get to have often? I am curious if this happens to most b/g twins at some point.
Personally, I have no issues with boys liking pink or purple- I always tell kindergartners in my classes that there are no "boy" colors or "girl" colors. One of my husband's favorite polos is lilac, and I think he looks good in it. Will I let Sam wear Anna's pink clothing if he asks? Well, Anna is still significantly smaller than Sam (weighed last week at less than 24 lbs at 27 months old), so think it's a non-issue at this point because her clothes probably won't fit him anyway. And in reverse, would I let Anna wear Sam's clothing if she asked? Probably, but I haven't come across that yet. It's interesting to ponder where to draw the gender lines when you have multiple children that are the exact same age.
Initially, Sam used a blue sippy cup and Anna had a pink sippy cup; Sam was put in our blue towel after bath while Anna was wrapped up in pink. I don't know when Sam started realizing that he rarely got the pink stuff, but it started a shift in our household. Sam now gravitates towards pink. Anna likes to give up the pink and get the blues. Now, if what we have is pink and blue, almost 100% of the time, they will want the opposite of their typical gender color. Sam now always chooses to sit in the pink booster chair drinking out of the pink sippy cup and Anna's in the blue booster with the blue cup. If we ask what towel they want, Sam will request pink, Anna asks for blue. It makes total sense to me though- don't we all kind of desire more what we don't usual get to have often? I am curious if this happens to most b/g twins at some point.
Personally, I have no issues with boys liking pink or purple- I always tell kindergartners in my classes that there are no "boy" colors or "girl" colors. One of my husband's favorite polos is lilac, and I think he looks good in it. Will I let Sam wear Anna's pink clothing if he asks? Well, Anna is still significantly smaller than Sam (weighed last week at less than 24 lbs at 27 months old), so think it's a non-issue at this point because her clothes probably won't fit him anyway. And in reverse, would I let Anna wear Sam's clothing if she asked? Probably, but I haven't come across that yet. It's interesting to ponder where to draw the gender lines when you have multiple children that are the exact same age.
Monday, May 28, 2012
Superstar Sharers
Sometimes I'm blown away at the level of fair share toy usage that comes unprompted between Sam and Anna. (Other times, it's typical 2 year old grab-yell and maybe physically lash out, I won't deny that.) What's more, they communicate want they want so well with each other, it often bowls me over. It definitely makes our days easier when they get along well considering they are rarely apart.
For discipline we use a 1-2-3 count for most minor misbehavior, and we also say 1-2-3 when their time is up to have something and it's time to hand it over to their sibling for awhile. If we get to 3 and they continue disobeying after that, they get a time-out. It has worked extremely well for us so far. (Overall, I would say our discipline style is a combination of Love and Logic and 1-2-3 Magic. I've researched both for a grad course and combine both in my classroom as well.)
Three I-Don't-Want-To-Forget Moments:
The other day while we were going for a walk, Sam had his daddy's hat and Anna wanted it. She said on her own without adult intervention "Sam, 1, 2, 3!" and Sam handed that thing right over without hesitation. Then, believe it or not, Anna said, "Thank you Sam" and we continued on our merry way.
Today, I took out a new-to-them toy that had been sitting in our basement and I had forgotten about. Anna was playing with it first while Sam watched nearby. He said,"Anna, you share, okay?" and she kept on playing. Sam counted 1, 2, 3 and then said "Anna you move over?" and lo and behold, she did. Sam got his turn and she started playing with something else.
Also today, Sam and Anna were eating a snack and Anna had a box of bunny crackers while Sam was eating pretzels. Sam took a bunny cracker from Anna and she cried. Daddy told her that they were everybody's crackers, not just hers and asked her to give him one. She did, and then unprompted Sam said "Thank you" while signing it. She responded "You're welcome" and then made it into a little game- after he put a cracker into his mouth, she fished out another to give to him. He kept saying thank you after each one, and she kept replying you're welcome until the rest of the box was gone. It was too cute.
For discipline we use a 1-2-3 count for most minor misbehavior, and we also say 1-2-3 when their time is up to have something and it's time to hand it over to their sibling for awhile. If we get to 3 and they continue disobeying after that, they get a time-out. It has worked extremely well for us so far. (Overall, I would say our discipline style is a combination of Love and Logic and 1-2-3 Magic. I've researched both for a grad course and combine both in my classroom as well.)
Three I-Don't-Want-To-Forget Moments:
The other day while we were going for a walk, Sam had his daddy's hat and Anna wanted it. She said on her own without adult intervention "Sam, 1, 2, 3!" and Sam handed that thing right over without hesitation. Then, believe it or not, Anna said, "Thank you Sam" and we continued on our merry way.
Today, I took out a new-to-them toy that had been sitting in our basement and I had forgotten about. Anna was playing with it first while Sam watched nearby. He said,"Anna, you share, okay?" and she kept on playing. Sam counted 1, 2, 3 and then said "Anna you move over?" and lo and behold, she did. Sam got his turn and she started playing with something else.
Also today, Sam and Anna were eating a snack and Anna had a box of bunny crackers while Sam was eating pretzels. Sam took a bunny cracker from Anna and she cried. Daddy told her that they were everybody's crackers, not just hers and asked her to give him one. She did, and then unprompted Sam said "Thank you" while signing it. She responded "You're welcome" and then made it into a little game- after he put a cracker into his mouth, she fished out another to give to him. He kept saying thank you after each one, and she kept replying you're welcome until the rest of the box was gone. It was too cute.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Bubbles for Ainsley and Evelyn
On Saturday, Jennifer & Mark Knepper lost their 16 month old daughter after a lifelong battle in the hospital. Jen's blog, Maybe If You Just Relax was quite possibly the first infertility blog I began reading years ago. At least some part of the existence of this blog is due to reading hers, although I lack the wit and humor that she graciously shares with anyone who happens upon her little corner of the internet. I remember the successful pregnancy test after IVF from their first daughter Olivia, following her birth and beyond to the frozen transfer that resulted in the twin pregnancy of Ainsley and Evelyn. Evelyn tragically died at birth, and Ainsley fought a long, hard battle in the hospital for the past 16 months. Ainsley Knepper passed away this weekend; the day before Mother's Day. I cried when I read the news Sunday afternoon. I cannot fathom what Jen and Mark have been through since the day Ainsley and Evelyn were born, nor can I wrap my head around what they are going through now. You can bet that I've hugged my own little ones a bit longer; a bit tighter and lingered at their cribs a bit later at bedtime in the past few days.
Tonight, from 5-8pm the Knepper family is having a memorial service for Ainsley. During that time, a large number of people will be blowing bubbles to show Ainsley and Evelyn how many people care about them and have been touched by them during their short presence on earth. Sam, Anna and I headed outdoors after getting home from daycare to remember another very special set of twins, together again in heaven.
No one should have to lose a child. Losing two in less than two years is unimaginable. Hug your loved ones and remember that life is fragile and tomorrow is never a guarantee.
From the facebook group: If you want to read more about the Knepper family, you can find their blog here: www.jennepper.com. If you want to do something else to help them, there are many things in the works. Please email knepperfamilydonations@gma |
Friday, February 24, 2012
Do You?
If you have multiple children, or multiples, do you spend purposeful quality one-on-one time with each child, away from the other child? I'm not talking playing one-on-one while the other is in a different room- I'm talking out-of-the-house, activity without the other sibling present. How much time and how often?
To be honest, we're only really done this purposely a handful of times with Sam and Anna. Because we are full time working outside the home parents, our weekends are spent primarily enjoying our time as a family of four with a smattering of one parent taking time sans kids to get done what needs to get done. The few times we've had solo parent/solo child time, it was because both parents had errands to run, and errands with one toddler are a walk in the park compared to errands with two toddlers. When we are doing something fun- like a park, sledding, children's museum, etc.- it's hard to keep one child from that experience and have them do something else instead.
The first time we separated the kids and parents for specific fun time, we did Mommy-Daughter Time and Daddy-Son Time. Since practically birth, Anna's been a huge Daddy's girl and Sam's been a Mama's boy. It's just who they have naturally gravitated to most often. We did the opposite for our single sibling time so that the child that got less attention typically from the other parent had that uninterrupted time to themselves. It went well, although our less easy-going Sam had more issues without his sidekick nearby. He was a little on edge without his sister and constantly asked where she was and said her name over and over.
The second time we separated our twins just for quality one-on-one with a parent time was last weekend. Again, both of us adults had errands we wanted to run that would have taken twice as long if we were toting two toddlers with us. This time, I took Sam while Daddy took Anna along for the ride. Mostly because Anna has been turning a little more into a Mama's girl lately, and Sam- a Daddy's boy. Daddy took Anna for an oil change and a car wash. I took Sam to the craft store and shopping. :) Every time I go out in public with one child, I am struck with how EASY it seems with one child- like less than half as hard as it is with two toddlers. We had so much fun at the craft store, I did a detour next door to the pet store to look at the animals in the animal adoption event. (Looking at the animals there is one of our favorite free fun things to do with Sam and Anna.) Sam loved the cats this time, but was leery about the ferrets. His favorite pet du jour was the swimming turtle, and least fav was the tarantula. He panicked when I moved closer to the glass and I can completely understand his reaction!
There have been plenty of other times where one stays home or at daycare and one child goes to the doctor- but to me that's a little different when one child isn't doing anything out of the ordinary and the other isn't doing anything fun. There has been only one day though that one child was at daycare for the entire day and the other was not; when Anna was sick at about 7 months old we brought Sam to daycare so his naps didn't get messed up and so Anna could get 100% attention from an adult. It was best for the situation then, but I don't think there has been a case since then that one child was sick and the other was completely healthy where it would be a similar benefit.
As they get older and develop their interests more, I am sure that not only will Sam and Anna enjoy time one-on-one with a parent more, but also want the time more and care less when they miss an activity in something they don't really enjoy.
To be honest, we're only really done this purposely a handful of times with Sam and Anna. Because we are full time working outside the home parents, our weekends are spent primarily enjoying our time as a family of four with a smattering of one parent taking time sans kids to get done what needs to get done. The few times we've had solo parent/solo child time, it was because both parents had errands to run, and errands with one toddler are a walk in the park compared to errands with two toddlers. When we are doing something fun- like a park, sledding, children's museum, etc.- it's hard to keep one child from that experience and have them do something else instead.
The first time we separated the kids and parents for specific fun time, we did Mommy-Daughter Time and Daddy-Son Time. Since practically birth, Anna's been a huge Daddy's girl and Sam's been a Mama's boy. It's just who they have naturally gravitated to most often. We did the opposite for our single sibling time so that the child that got less attention typically from the other parent had that uninterrupted time to themselves. It went well, although our less easy-going Sam had more issues without his sidekick nearby. He was a little on edge without his sister and constantly asked where she was and said her name over and over.
The second time we separated our twins just for quality one-on-one with a parent time was last weekend. Again, both of us adults had errands we wanted to run that would have taken twice as long if we were toting two toddlers with us. This time, I took Sam while Daddy took Anna along for the ride. Mostly because Anna has been turning a little more into a Mama's girl lately, and Sam- a Daddy's boy. Daddy took Anna for an oil change and a car wash. I took Sam to the craft store and shopping. :) Every time I go out in public with one child, I am struck with how EASY it seems with one child- like less than half as hard as it is with two toddlers. We had so much fun at the craft store, I did a detour next door to the pet store to look at the animals in the animal adoption event. (Looking at the animals there is one of our favorite free fun things to do with Sam and Anna.) Sam loved the cats this time, but was leery about the ferrets. His favorite pet du jour was the swimming turtle, and least fav was the tarantula. He panicked when I moved closer to the glass and I can completely understand his reaction!
There have been plenty of other times where one stays home or at daycare and one child goes to the doctor- but to me that's a little different when one child isn't doing anything out of the ordinary and the other isn't doing anything fun. There has been only one day though that one child was at daycare for the entire day and the other was not; when Anna was sick at about 7 months old we brought Sam to daycare so his naps didn't get messed up and so Anna could get 100% attention from an adult. It was best for the situation then, but I don't think there has been a case since then that one child was sick and the other was completely healthy where it would be a similar benefit.
As they get older and develop their interests more, I am sure that not only will Sam and Anna enjoy time one-on-one with a parent more, but also want the time more and care less when they miss an activity in something they don't really enjoy.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
I Confess
I have a problem. The first step is admitting you have a problem, right?
Well this is my problem: My twins are almost two and I am a little OCD about coordinating their outfits. I always felt pretty good about the fact that I rarely put them in 100% matching outfits. They had very few things that were exactly the same, which wasn't too hard because they are different genders.
But they must coordinate. This is how I must match them every day: if one is wearing jeans and a long sleeve T, the other must also be in jeans and a long sleeve T. Bonus points for similar colors and similar styles (like picture on one shirt, picture on the other). Today, Anna has on a yellow top, and so Sam's shirt also has some yellow in it. We have knit pants day, snap long sleeve onesie day and hoodie day; overalls and fleece days too. I'm just a little embarrassed to admit that it's as specific as this: If Anna has on a fleece outfit and the pants are not fleece, then Sam cannot wear fleece pants with his fleece shirt.
I think it would actually be painful for me to put them in different kinds of outfits- like if Anna was wearing a hooded outfit with matching pants, and Sam was in jeans and a T. Or if one was wearing zipped footie pjs, while the other was in pajama separates. It doesn't even matter if we don't leave the house and no one sees them. Wow- typing that out makes me feel like I'm even more OCD than I thought.
So I coordinate their outfits by color, type and style. This is challenging sometimes because most of their clothing is used and we have gotten quite a few things from different people. This weekend, I started washing Anna's 24 month stuff and I realized she has 5 hoodie outfits... while Sam currently has none. I'm seriously fighting the urge to go out and buy him some so she will actually wear hers. It's hard. I try to remember that their closet is already stuffed full and they need more clothes like they need more holes in their heads. But then I rationalize- what's the use of Anna having 5 sets of hoodie outfits if she isn't going to wear them since Sam has none?
Please note I've already confessed I have a problem.
I have gotten better since they were babies though... It used to be that if Anna had 8 onesies, Sam must have the same number. If Anna had 4 snap sleepers and 6 zip sleepers as infants, then you can bet that Sam's count was exactly the same. Yup, down to the zip or snap closure on their sleepers, they had to coordinate. At least the number of types of clothing doesn't have to be the same in their closet or dresser anymore.
Is there a 12 step program for this? I promise I won't send them to kindergarten still coordinating their outfits...
(If I had access to the thousands of photos I take right now, I'd share examples. Maybe later I'll add some!)
Well this is my problem: My twins are almost two and I am a little OCD about coordinating their outfits. I always felt pretty good about the fact that I rarely put them in 100% matching outfits. They had very few things that were exactly the same, which wasn't too hard because they are different genders.
But they must coordinate. This is how I must match them every day: if one is wearing jeans and a long sleeve T, the other must also be in jeans and a long sleeve T. Bonus points for similar colors and similar styles (like picture on one shirt, picture on the other). Today, Anna has on a yellow top, and so Sam's shirt also has some yellow in it. We have knit pants day, snap long sleeve onesie day and hoodie day; overalls and fleece days too. I'm just a little embarrassed to admit that it's as specific as this: If Anna has on a fleece outfit and the pants are not fleece, then Sam cannot wear fleece pants with his fleece shirt.
I think it would actually be painful for me to put them in different kinds of outfits- like if Anna was wearing a hooded outfit with matching pants, and Sam was in jeans and a T. Or if one was wearing zipped footie pjs, while the other was in pajama separates. It doesn't even matter if we don't leave the house and no one sees them. Wow- typing that out makes me feel like I'm even more OCD than I thought.
So I coordinate their outfits by color, type and style. This is challenging sometimes because most of their clothing is used and we have gotten quite a few things from different people. This weekend, I started washing Anna's 24 month stuff and I realized she has 5 hoodie outfits... while Sam currently has none. I'm seriously fighting the urge to go out and buy him some so she will actually wear hers. It's hard. I try to remember that their closet is already stuffed full and they need more clothes like they need more holes in their heads. But then I rationalize- what's the use of Anna having 5 sets of hoodie outfits if she isn't going to wear them since Sam has none?
Please note I've already confessed I have a problem.
I have gotten better since they were babies though... It used to be that if Anna had 8 onesies, Sam must have the same number. If Anna had 4 snap sleepers and 6 zip sleepers as infants, then you can bet that Sam's count was exactly the same. Yup, down to the zip or snap closure on their sleepers, they had to coordinate. At least the number of types of clothing doesn't have to be the same in their closet or dresser anymore.
Is there a 12 step program for this? I promise I won't send them to kindergarten still coordinating their outfits...
(If I had access to the thousands of photos I take right now, I'd share examples. Maybe later I'll add some!)
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Twin Love
(Going in for the kiss)
Nothin' quite like Twin Hugs and Smooches!
(not to mention the double the giggles that go along with it!)
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Wordless (kinda) Wednesday
How playing with toys typically works around here
Sam: Look at me- I'm so cute
Sam: Hmmm.... I have an idea...
Sam: Who me? I'm not doing anything sneaky.
Sam: Got it! Anna: Hey! I was playing with that!
Sam: Look at me- I'm so cuteSam: Hmmm.... I have an idea...Sam: Who me? I'm not doing anything sneaky.Sam: Got it! Anna: Hey! I was playing with that!Friday, October 29, 2010
Twins But So Very Different, Part 2
When our babies were only a few weeks old, I wrote a post sharing what differences we had already noticed. As Sam and Anna get older, each day gives me a little more insight into their developing personalities. True to the rest of their differences, their personalities are on opposite ends of the spectrum, too.
Anna's such a talker, and she gets loud. This is a girl that wants to be heard, and lets you know it. She's got so much spunk and such a fiery personality. I see a lot of myself in her (don't they always say you get payback for how you were growing up when you have children of your own?). She lets you know what she wants and she lets you know when she's not happy too. When she smiles, she smiles with her entire body. Anna's a studier- faces, toys, whatever- you can see the concentration in her furrowed eyebrows when she's examining something.
Sam has so much energy- he's always on the go, always moving and won't sit still. He's so much like how my husband has been described to me as a child (again, payback...). It is nearly impossible to change him or get him dressed. He's my snuggler once I get him into my arms, though. He gets frustrated pretty easily when he wants to do something and can't figure out how. He is so quick to smile back at you, and giggles can be induced whenever you want.
In short:
Anna=talker
Sam=mover
Anna=independent
Sam=snuggler
Anna= more interested in living things- people, dogs, etc.
Sam=more interested in objects- toys, books, etc.
Anna= slow and steady (tortoise)
Sam= fast and bursts (hare)
Anna=better nighttime sleeper (usually)
Sam=better napper
Anna's such a talker, and she gets loud. This is a girl that wants to be heard, and lets you know it. She's got so much spunk and such a fiery personality. I see a lot of myself in her (don't they always say you get payback for how you were growing up when you have children of your own?). She lets you know what she wants and she lets you know when she's not happy too. When she smiles, she smiles with her entire body. Anna's a studier- faces, toys, whatever- you can see the concentration in her furrowed eyebrows when she's examining something.
Sam has so much energy- he's always on the go, always moving and won't sit still. He's so much like how my husband has been described to me as a child (again, payback...). It is nearly impossible to change him or get him dressed. He's my snuggler once I get him into my arms, though. He gets frustrated pretty easily when he wants to do something and can't figure out how. He is so quick to smile back at you, and giggles can be induced whenever you want.
In short:
Anna=talker
Sam=mover
Anna=independent
Sam=snuggler
Anna= more interested in living things- people, dogs, etc.
Sam=more interested in objects- toys, books, etc.
Anna= slow and steady (tortoise)
Sam= fast and bursts (hare)
Anna=better nighttime sleeper (usually)
Sam=better napper
(One of my newest favorite pictures)Tuesday, July 13, 2010
I'll Always Feel Different
The path I took to become a mother is different than most women.
Now that I'm here, that's not the only difference I have.
Most mothers have one baby at a time. A few *think* they know what twins would be like because they have two babies close together in age- but I emphatically know that's not the same at all. Two babies 10 or so months apart is not the same thing as having two in your womb at the same time. Trying to hold both babies is not the same thing as trying to hold two newborns that can't support their heads at the same time. Feeding both is not the same as when you have to do night feedings every two hours or so for two babies. It's not the same to try to teach two babies how to latch on at the same time. It's hardly the same at all.
Even though my babies are growing older, sometimes I still feel different than most moms. Sometimes that difference makes me feel extra special- there's so many things I get to experience that most moms don't. Sometimes that difference makes me feel like people can't relate. Sometimes that difference makes me feel like the odd person out (a sort of IF deja-vu, really). That difference can be pretty isolating in real life when very few people can completely understand your life.
Sometimes I feel like I'll never get the true experience of being a "first-time-mom." Yes, I know I am one- but its pretty different when you've got two infants at the same time. I don't have time to neurotically obsess over my only child. That concern is automatically spread out between two babies. My twins won't have meticulously filled out baby books and scrapbooks chronicling ever detail of their life. The nuk falls on the ground- who has time to wash it?- I suck on it, and pop it right back in- even possibly switching nuks between babies. Who has time to make sure two babies don't swap spit? We nuk share, bottle share, and I'm pretty darn sure we'll end up spoon sharing when we get to that point. I don't fret about having other people hold my children like a first time mom might- because it's just a fact of life when you've only got two arms.
I go to the local hospital's new mom group every Tuesday. I like going for several reasons:
1.) It gives me a routine place to go every week to help me mark my days until I go back to work. This is how I know what day it is: Monday=Bachelorette Tuesday=Moms Group Wednesday=garbage day Thursday=garage sales Friday= second day of garage sales Saturday=husband home for the weekend! Sunday=church
2.)Initially, the Moms Group gave me a place to build confidence taking two babies out in public by myself. I knew it would be okay if they cried there, because other babies might cry as well.
3.) Since weight gain has been an issue, I get to have Sam and Anna weighed weekly to track their progress. Sometimes, this does me more harm that good though- like this week when Sam was actually down 1/2 oz from last week, and he's been eating so relatively well- it was disheartening when I had been feeling so encouraged about his eating habits lately.
4.) I like to talk to moms of similar aged babies in person to get and give advice/support and find out about what their babies are doing. I routinely stalk blogs and Babycenter for the same reason, but there's just something more that you get from talking to people in person.
I like going to the New Mom Group, but I always leave feeling like I want something more. (and before you suggest it- no, my area does not have a twins or moms of multiples group. The nearest one is 45ish minutes away. That's a long haul to drag my babies every week.) I always feel like no one can really relate to my experience... but they can all relate perfectly to each other, as first-time-moms to one baby. Its hard to maneuver two babies- trying to get them undressed, weighed, and redressed while there. I get to talk about things that have to do with just one baby- but no one can give advice/support for the things I have to do or figure out for two babies at once, like the logistics of naps and schedules.
Today the moms were commiserating about spit up on their shirts, and how it always seems like you have to change your shirt right before you leave to go somewhere. I found that humorous, because today Anna spit up on my shirt right before we left. After a quick check to make sure it wouldn't be too noticeable, I went out the door- spitup shirt still on. When you've got twins- who has time to change your shirt before you leave? I don't always have time to go to the bathroom before I leave to go somewhere!
Also today, Sam's nuk fell on the floor while we were there. I picked it up, sucked on it and popped it back into his mouth. The mom sitting next to me said with a certain tone in her voice, "that's what you do to clean off a pacifier?" I wanted to say, "yes- when you've got two babies, you don't have time to run to the sink to rinse it off before using it again. A pacifier is indispensable when you need help soothing a baby so you can get to the other child."
So although most of the time I feel very special to be a mother of twins, it can be isolating and frustrating that most people just won't get what it's like. And just like our many years of dealing with IF and the fertile world, I'll always feel at least a little different and sometimes not understood.
Now that I'm here, that's not the only difference I have.
Most mothers have one baby at a time. A few *think* they know what twins would be like because they have two babies close together in age- but I emphatically know that's not the same at all. Two babies 10 or so months apart is not the same thing as having two in your womb at the same time. Trying to hold both babies is not the same thing as trying to hold two newborns that can't support their heads at the same time. Feeding both is not the same as when you have to do night feedings every two hours or so for two babies. It's not the same to try to teach two babies how to latch on at the same time. It's hardly the same at all.
Even though my babies are growing older, sometimes I still feel different than most moms. Sometimes that difference makes me feel extra special- there's so many things I get to experience that most moms don't. Sometimes that difference makes me feel like people can't relate. Sometimes that difference makes me feel like the odd person out (a sort of IF deja-vu, really). That difference can be pretty isolating in real life when very few people can completely understand your life.
Sometimes I feel like I'll never get the true experience of being a "first-time-mom." Yes, I know I am one- but its pretty different when you've got two infants at the same time. I don't have time to neurotically obsess over my only child. That concern is automatically spread out between two babies. My twins won't have meticulously filled out baby books and scrapbooks chronicling ever detail of their life. The nuk falls on the ground- who has time to wash it?- I suck on it, and pop it right back in- even possibly switching nuks between babies. Who has time to make sure two babies don't swap spit? We nuk share, bottle share, and I'm pretty darn sure we'll end up spoon sharing when we get to that point. I don't fret about having other people hold my children like a first time mom might- because it's just a fact of life when you've only got two arms.
I go to the local hospital's new mom group every Tuesday. I like going for several reasons:
1.) It gives me a routine place to go every week to help me mark my days until I go back to work. This is how I know what day it is: Monday=Bachelorette Tuesday=Moms Group Wednesday=garbage day Thursday=garage sales Friday= second day of garage sales Saturday=husband home for the weekend! Sunday=church
2.)Initially, the Moms Group gave me a place to build confidence taking two babies out in public by myself. I knew it would be okay if they cried there, because other babies might cry as well.
3.) Since weight gain has been an issue, I get to have Sam and Anna weighed weekly to track their progress. Sometimes, this does me more harm that good though- like this week when Sam was actually down 1/2 oz from last week, and he's been eating so relatively well- it was disheartening when I had been feeling so encouraged about his eating habits lately.
4.) I like to talk to moms of similar aged babies in person to get and give advice/support and find out about what their babies are doing. I routinely stalk blogs and Babycenter for the same reason, but there's just something more that you get from talking to people in person.
I like going to the New Mom Group, but I always leave feeling like I want something more. (and before you suggest it- no, my area does not have a twins or moms of multiples group. The nearest one is 45ish minutes away. That's a long haul to drag my babies every week.) I always feel like no one can really relate to my experience... but they can all relate perfectly to each other, as first-time-moms to one baby. Its hard to maneuver two babies- trying to get them undressed, weighed, and redressed while there. I get to talk about things that have to do with just one baby- but no one can give advice/support for the things I have to do or figure out for two babies at once, like the logistics of naps and schedules.
Today the moms were commiserating about spit up on their shirts, and how it always seems like you have to change your shirt right before you leave to go somewhere. I found that humorous, because today Anna spit up on my shirt right before we left. After a quick check to make sure it wouldn't be too noticeable, I went out the door- spitup shirt still on. When you've got twins- who has time to change your shirt before you leave? I don't always have time to go to the bathroom before I leave to go somewhere!
Also today, Sam's nuk fell on the floor while we were there. I picked it up, sucked on it and popped it back into his mouth. The mom sitting next to me said with a certain tone in her voice, "that's what you do to clean off a pacifier?" I wanted to say, "yes- when you've got two babies, you don't have time to run to the sink to rinse it off before using it again. A pacifier is indispensable when you need help soothing a baby so you can get to the other child."
So although most of the time I feel very special to be a mother of twins, it can be isolating and frustrating that most people just won't get what it's like. And just like our many years of dealing with IF and the fertile world, I'll always feel at least a little different and sometimes not understood.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Twins Fans...
Having twins gives us an extra reason to be "Twins" fans!
Although we live in Wisconsin, we were both born and raised in Minnesota.
Deep down, I'll always be a "Minnesotan."
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Words Can Be Misleading
This twin thing has been hard. You can't fathom how difficult it is until you've lived it. My husband and I have really struggled in our attempts to parent our babies during the first two months of their life. I know every family goes through "survival mode," but sometimes I think we're so beyond survival mode that we're in the trenches, fighting to keep our sanity and to keep going.
Any new parent at least sometimes doubts that they are doing a good job or that they can do this (right?)... we doubt it daily (sometimes hourly on a bad day). I've shed a lot of tears, my husband has shed a lot of tears. I will even admit there have been two days where I called my husband at work in tears and asked him to come home early.
We considered hiring a part-time nanny to help me during the day when I'm home alone, because the two babies were/are often too much for one person to handle. I love my babies. This should go without saying. But they are colicky. They have reflux. They are not "easy" babies. My self-esteem took a hit when we thought about getting a nanny to help me out. I thought, "why does it seem like other moms to twins (of the blogs I read) can do it, when I can't?" When I shared this thought with my husband, he explained that my posts on here don't really let on how hard it is(except for the reflux), and that maybe other twin-momma bloggers feel the same way, but just don't share it , like I hadn't.
So I thought about why I hadn't really shared these thoughts on here, and I realized something. Because of the process that we took to get our babies, and because of the population most of the readers of this blog belong to (the IF community), it just doesn't feel right to "complain" about how hard it is. It doesn't feel like I should be anything less than blissful that we got our two miracles via IVF. Because we weren't supposed to be able to have children, and then we were blessed with two (!). Maybe other twin-momma bloggers feel a similar way? I never wanted this blog to turn into a "infertility-was-ridiculously-hard-now-twins-is-ridiculously-hard-too kind of blog. But I do want this to be a honest blog. I don't want to paint a picture of anything that is different than reality.
So yes, infertility was the hardest thing I've ever gone through in my life. Being a first-time parent to twin newborns is also one of the hardest things I've ever gone through too. Completely and utterly worth it, but hard all the same.
Any new parent at least sometimes doubts that they are doing a good job or that they can do this (right?)... we doubt it daily (sometimes hourly on a bad day). I've shed a lot of tears, my husband has shed a lot of tears. I will even admit there have been two days where I called my husband at work in tears and asked him to come home early.
We considered hiring a part-time nanny to help me during the day when I'm home alone, because the two babies were/are often too much for one person to handle. I love my babies. This should go without saying. But they are colicky. They have reflux. They are not "easy" babies. My self-esteem took a hit when we thought about getting a nanny to help me out. I thought, "why does it seem like other moms to twins (of the blogs I read) can do it, when I can't?" When I shared this thought with my husband, he explained that my posts on here don't really let on how hard it is(except for the reflux), and that maybe other twin-momma bloggers feel the same way, but just don't share it , like I hadn't.
So I thought about why I hadn't really shared these thoughts on here, and I realized something. Because of the process that we took to get our babies, and because of the population most of the readers of this blog belong to (the IF community), it just doesn't feel right to "complain" about how hard it is. It doesn't feel like I should be anything less than blissful that we got our two miracles via IVF. Because we weren't supposed to be able to have children, and then we were blessed with two (!). Maybe other twin-momma bloggers feel a similar way? I never wanted this blog to turn into a "infertility-was-ridiculously-hard-now-twins-is-ridiculously-hard-too kind of blog. But I do want this to be a honest blog. I don't want to paint a picture of anything that is different than reality.
So yes, infertility was the hardest thing I've ever gone through in my life. Being a first-time parent to twin newborns is also one of the hardest things I've ever gone through too. Completely and utterly worth it, but hard all the same.
Monday, April 5, 2010
If I Can Do This, I Can Do Anything
Today marked the beginning of my first week alone with Sam and Anna while my husband is at work. My parents were visiting last week and helped me get through his first full week of being gone during the day. We really started out the week with a bang... and proved that when everything falls apart- all you can do is laugh, do what you can, and clean up later when you get a chance. And laugh, I did.
Sam and Anna both woke up from their first morning nap at exactly the same time, crying. This instantly creates a dilemma because it is impossible to change, get two bottles ready and feed two babies all at the same time. I started with Anna, since Sam had been sleeping lightly for a while and I was hopeful he could fall back asleep. Anna also drinks faster, so worst case scenario, I would be done with the first feeding more quickly. I changed her out of her pjs and got a bottle ready. Meanwhile Sam was getting hysterical, so I opted to warm up a second bottle, prop him up on a boppy in his crib and attempt feeding both at the same time. Unfortunately for me- it ended up that both Avent bottles I chose were leakers (Anyone else have problems with this? It happens very randomly to us but it is super annoying) and leaked all over me, the floor, the crib, etc. Anna then picked that moment to have a poop blowout in the clothes she had been wearing for, oh, about 30 seconds. So I changed Anna to the wonderful sound of Sam's frantic cries, during which she decided to pee mid-diaper change and go through yet another diaper.
When all was said and done, both children got fed in formula soaked clothes because I didn't have a spare arm to get different bottles. I don't know how much formula they each got and neither one was very sleepy afterwards because of how worked up they got during the process.
And Anna? she decided she wasn't done and had another poop blowout at the end of the bottle. Three outfits and 4 diapers in 20 minutes for one baby is my new record.
I'm beginning to think that Anna needs Pampers Swaddlers to avoid poop problems and Sam needs Huggies Snugglers to avoid soaking through. Seriously? I need to have an ample stock of two brands of diapers???
My lovely day continued and my children only slept at the same time for about 30 minutes total. Interestingly enough- they managed to want to be fed at exactly the same time, all day long. I'm thinking today might be the day I plop the babies in my dear husband's arms when he walks in the door and escape to Target before the door even closes. After all, we need more diapers, don't we?
Sam and Anna both woke up from their first morning nap at exactly the same time, crying. This instantly creates a dilemma because it is impossible to change, get two bottles ready and feed two babies all at the same time. I started with Anna, since Sam had been sleeping lightly for a while and I was hopeful he could fall back asleep. Anna also drinks faster, so worst case scenario, I would be done with the first feeding more quickly. I changed her out of her pjs and got a bottle ready. Meanwhile Sam was getting hysterical, so I opted to warm up a second bottle, prop him up on a boppy in his crib and attempt feeding both at the same time. Unfortunately for me- it ended up that both Avent bottles I chose were leakers (Anyone else have problems with this? It happens very randomly to us but it is super annoying) and leaked all over me, the floor, the crib, etc. Anna then picked that moment to have a poop blowout in the clothes she had been wearing for, oh, about 30 seconds. So I changed Anna to the wonderful sound of Sam's frantic cries, during which she decided to pee mid-diaper change and go through yet another diaper.
When all was said and done, both children got fed in formula soaked clothes because I didn't have a spare arm to get different bottles. I don't know how much formula they each got and neither one was very sleepy afterwards because of how worked up they got during the process.
And Anna? she decided she wasn't done and had another poop blowout at the end of the bottle. Three outfits and 4 diapers in 20 minutes for one baby is my new record.
I'm beginning to think that Anna needs Pampers Swaddlers to avoid poop problems and Sam needs Huggies Snugglers to avoid soaking through. Seriously? I need to have an ample stock of two brands of diapers???
My lovely day continued and my children only slept at the same time for about 30 minutes total. Interestingly enough- they managed to want to be fed at exactly the same time, all day long. I'm thinking today might be the day I plop the babies in my dear husband's arms when he walks in the door and escape to Target before the door even closes. After all, we need more diapers, don't we?
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Twins... But Yet So Different
One of the unique aspects of having twins is that you have an instant way to notice each babies quirks and personalities through side by side comparison. While I'm not going to make a habit of constantly comparing my children throughout their life, it has been fascinating to see how similar and how very different they are in only two short weeks. If there was only one baby in our household right now, I don't think I would pick up on as many of their unique traits.
Sam:
Sam is such a wiggle worm and has been since he first arrived in the hospital. He is also very strong and even lifted his head by himself while pushing up with his arms in the hospital bassinet. Sam hates being changed and naked... I have a feeling this will change as he gets older though! Sam is very vocal- his grunts and wheezes while feeding crack me up. While asleep he tends to raise his eyebrows. He also sticks his bottom lip out when he's sleeping. Sam is the more impatient twin, and simply cannot wait for you to get a bottle to his mouth fast enough- boy, does he let you know it! He also wants to be held most of the time, although this is something he will have to learn won't happen as much as he wants. Sam also hates bath time! While he looks more like my husband, I can tell he has my nose and ears. I'm pretty sure he's got serious dimples that I can't help but plant a kiss on. His hair poofs up, just like his daddy, too!
Anna:
Anna is our silent observer. She loves to stare at faces or out into space for long periods of time without moving. While Sam is a ferocious eater, Anna is slow and steady... which usually results in her finishing before Sam (reminds me of the story of the race between turtle and hare- slow and steady wins the race). She is pretty quiet while eating too. Anna tends to be a sloppy eater with dribbles going all over the place. She usually has pretty juicy burps too. Anna is content during most wet diaper changes, and will often stay asleep through them, despite best efforts to rouse her. While sleeping Anna will push her top lip to one side and the bottom lip to the other side. She likes when her body is submerged during bath times. Anna likes to wrinkle her forehead, like she's very unhappy with you for whatever it is that you are doing. But when she's angry- boy, she really lets you know it! Anna has more of my features, but like Sam, has their dad's long monkey toes.
There was a time during IF when I wasn't sure any children we had would have either my or my husband's features. For the past nine months, like any pregnant person, I wondered what my children would look like. Unlike most pregnant people, I can also say that the thought had crossed my mind once or twice that there could have been a mix up at the clinic and either eggs/sperm/or embryos could have been switched and a child I gave birth to could have looked like neither one of us. Now that they are here, I have been surprised how much Anna looks like pictures of me as a newborn, and how much Sam looks like my husband's newborn pictures. I didn't really think they would look dramatically similar, but yet I am surprised how different they look. They are so very different, but like any mother of multiple children, I love them equally. It is amazing to finally be able to understand that kind of motherly love for two children- the kind of love my own mother has for my brother and I.
Sam:
Sam is such a wiggle worm and has been since he first arrived in the hospital. He is also very strong and even lifted his head by himself while pushing up with his arms in the hospital bassinet. Sam hates being changed and naked... I have a feeling this will change as he gets older though! Sam is very vocal- his grunts and wheezes while feeding crack me up. While asleep he tends to raise his eyebrows. He also sticks his bottom lip out when he's sleeping. Sam is the more impatient twin, and simply cannot wait for you to get a bottle to his mouth fast enough- boy, does he let you know it! He also wants to be held most of the time, although this is something he will have to learn won't happen as much as he wants. Sam also hates bath time! While he looks more like my husband, I can tell he has my nose and ears. I'm pretty sure he's got serious dimples that I can't help but plant a kiss on. His hair poofs up, just like his daddy, too!
Anna:
Anna is our silent observer. She loves to stare at faces or out into space for long periods of time without moving. While Sam is a ferocious eater, Anna is slow and steady... which usually results in her finishing before Sam (reminds me of the story of the race between turtle and hare- slow and steady wins the race). She is pretty quiet while eating too. Anna tends to be a sloppy eater with dribbles going all over the place. She usually has pretty juicy burps too. Anna is content during most wet diaper changes, and will often stay asleep through them, despite best efforts to rouse her. While sleeping Anna will push her top lip to one side and the bottom lip to the other side. She likes when her body is submerged during bath times. Anna likes to wrinkle her forehead, like she's very unhappy with you for whatever it is that you are doing. But when she's angry- boy, she really lets you know it! Anna has more of my features, but like Sam, has their dad's long monkey toes.
There was a time during IF when I wasn't sure any children we had would have either my or my husband's features. For the past nine months, like any pregnant person, I wondered what my children would look like. Unlike most pregnant people, I can also say that the thought had crossed my mind once or twice that there could have been a mix up at the clinic and either eggs/sperm/or embryos could have been switched and a child I gave birth to could have looked like neither one of us. Now that they are here, I have been surprised how much Anna looks like pictures of me as a newborn, and how much Sam looks like my husband's newborn pictures. I didn't really think they would look dramatically similar, but yet I am surprised how different they look. They are so very different, but like any mother of multiple children, I love them equally. It is amazing to finally be able to understand that kind of motherly love for two children- the kind of love my own mother has for my brother and I.
Friday, August 21, 2009
2nd u/s 8w5d
Last weekend we had gotten an insurance claim denying payment for the b/w and u/s we have had since the positive Hcg test. After lots of phone calls Monday we got things figured out, although not fixed. We have no choice but to pay the over a thousand dollars and in addition to thousands more if we continued with my RE until he was planning on releasing us to an OB at 12 weeks. So on Monday, I was forced to "graduate" early to an OB. I made a lot more phone calls to make an OB appointment with the OB my RE recommended, as well as u/s and b/w appointments (we will continue to have them every 2 weeks until 12 weeks). So our u/s ended up getting moved up from next Friday to today.
I was very nervous to go to a different place and get a "regular" u/s from a u/s tech instead of from my RE, who does them himself. I was afraid we wouldn't get told anything right away. I also got to experience my first abdominal u/s, which was interesting. We were told that our u/s was scheduled for TWO HOURS since "there are two in there." I thought there was no way I could keep my bladder from bursting for that long. Although it was much longer than my u/s in the past and many more measurements were taken, it did not last two hours. My worries were for nothing, because the very nice u/s lady was very informative. And now for the interesting stuff:
Baby A and Baby B (sorry, Sweet Pea and Little Bean) are both doing great. Whew! Sweet Pea's heart rate was 164 and Little Bean's was 170. Both good. Both measured right about where they should be: Sweet Pea was 1.7 cm and Little Bean was 1.8 cm. When the tech was positioning the wand to see both at the same time, we even saw Sweet Pea wiggle a little.
Our next u/s is in two weeks- on the first Friday of school. Since they say I need two time slots because of the twins, I have no choice but to have to leave school at 1:30. I am hoping I can get someone to cover my class for about an hour instead of getting a sub. I am trying not to stress yet about my 20 poor kindergartners finding their way to the buses and home without me there on only the fourth day of school- but my babies are my priority. Somehow it is just going to have to work out.
I guess I should get busy buying twins and multiple books now, huh? Is it starting to sink in, now that we've had 2 u/s? Maybe...
Sunday, August 9, 2009
In a Weird Place
It has been more than 48 hours since we found out there were two heartbeats. Have I adjusted to that news yet? Absolutely not. I find myself altering every part of what I had imagined the next 8 months and beyond to be like to fit a vision of two babies. The reality of it is that it is very very amazing, but very scary too. I am worried about so many things. Top of the list: Will both babies make it? I find myself prefacing every statement I say to Jake with, "If we take home two babies then..." It still seems like such a precarious situation. I am worried about all the additional risks we are now facing. I am worried about providing for two little ones. I am worried about being on bed rest and needing to take some unpaid leave time- which financially we just cannot do with the strain we are already under post-IVF. I am worried that the beginning of school is going to kick my butt so hard I won't be able to get through the day. I am worried that this twins thing is all a dream and somebody is going to wake me up at any moment and say, "Ha ha- nope you are still infertile and most definitely NOT pregnant."
I'm in a weird place because this growing two living things stuff is really kicking my butt right now. My day pretty much consists of sleep, pee, eat, pee then repeat: sleep, pee, eat, pee, sleep, pee, eat, pee..." I haven't vomited since last weekend, and the thing that best seems to keep my nausea at bay is eating a little bit, all the time. Plus 90% of the day I am ravenous- like think of a time when you were so hungry you literally felt like you were starving, and I'm there about every two hours. I read online that with twins you should be eating an extra 600 calories a day. It seems like I am downing more than that, but I figure unless a professional tells me otherwise, I should and will eat when I'm hungry (mostly healthy stuff, of course). I'm basically thrilled that it isn't all just coming right back up. The sleepiness thing has been harder to me to resolve, because between all the peeing and hunger, AND the constant stream of, "holy moly, TWINS. This means...," running through my brain it is hard to settle down enough to actually sleep. It is all a weird place to be in, because I never let myself think about what this would be like and yet I tried so hard to get here.
My body is most definitely changing too- I regretfully bought a bra one size up today. Being normally a DD, I wonder what alphabet letter I'll end up at in the end. Bra shopping when the girls are tender is not really a fun activity too. All these things I'm feeling physically make me wonder if they would be the same if I was carrying one, or if being pregnant with twins packs a bigger punch this early on.
I also bought my first maternity clothing- two shirts that were on clearance for $12 and $14. (Those suckers are expensive full price, so yay me!) I still feel like an impostor when buying stuff related to being pregnant or babies. I wonder when that's going to change? And when is this going to start feeling real?
I'm in a weird place because this growing two living things stuff is really kicking my butt right now. My day pretty much consists of sleep, pee, eat, pee then repeat: sleep, pee, eat, pee, sleep, pee, eat, pee..." I haven't vomited since last weekend, and the thing that best seems to keep my nausea at bay is eating a little bit, all the time. Plus 90% of the day I am ravenous- like think of a time when you were so hungry you literally felt like you were starving, and I'm there about every two hours. I read online that with twins you should be eating an extra 600 calories a day. It seems like I am downing more than that, but I figure unless a professional tells me otherwise, I should and will eat when I'm hungry (mostly healthy stuff, of course). I'm basically thrilled that it isn't all just coming right back up. The sleepiness thing has been harder to me to resolve, because between all the peeing and hunger, AND the constant stream of, "holy moly, TWINS. This means...," running through my brain it is hard to settle down enough to actually sleep. It is all a weird place to be in, because I never let myself think about what this would be like and yet I tried so hard to get here.
My body is most definitely changing too- I regretfully bought a bra one size up today. Being normally a DD, I wonder what alphabet letter I'll end up at in the end. Bra shopping when the girls are tender is not really a fun activity too. All these things I'm feeling physically make me wonder if they would be the same if I was carrying one, or if being pregnant with twins packs a bigger punch this early on.
I also bought my first maternity clothing- two shirts that were on clearance for $12 and $14. (Those suckers are expensive full price, so yay me!) I still feel like an impostor when buying stuff related to being pregnant or babies. I wonder when that's going to change? And when is this going to start feeling real?
Friday, August 7, 2009
TWINS!!!
Two wonderful sacs, two beautiful babies, two amazing heartbeats!!!
I was SO anxious that I hardly slept at all last night. I had to get up at 4:30 so we could get to the clinic on time. I swear I got maybe two hours of sleep.
When Dr. S first said "there's two," he said it so quietly, I wasn't sure I had heard him correctly, so I almost said "What did you say???" but then he quickly zoomed over to the first sac, so I thought I could wait a few more seconds to find out if he really said two. I was anxious about seeing the h/b flicker, but we saw it right away. Dr. S doesn't measure beats per minute at this stage, so I don't know what either bpm was. Then he moved over and I saw the second sac right away, but it didn't sink in until he showed us the h/b flicker for that one. Then I really started to realize that he DID say two. Both babies are measuring almost exactly the same, so that make me pretty happy. I was really surprised by myself that I didn't cry, I got choked up, and just kept gripping Jake's hand, but no tears.
I have been hoping and praying all along for two. Jake and I have been talking to them as two. After all we have been through, I just didn't think it was possible for us to be so amazingly blessed with two miracles though. I honestly did not think this would be the result. I tried to hold on hope and just pray that God would give us exactly what we could handle.
I know we have a long road ahead of us. I know it is still really early (6w5d), but just like with those two pink lines, I will try to relish this moment as long as I can before I cave and let the worries start to creep in.
Dr. S will be on "vacation" for a good part of August, so that means I won't get another u/s until the last week in August. Since my school work days begin that week, I am a little stuck with the times I could take the four hour trip. I can't miss the Open House or Administrative Day, you know? So that means I have to wait until August 28th to see my babies again- a ridiculously long 3 weeks from now. I tried to convince them to let me come in next week, but they didn't think it was necessary. Darn it.
The first u/s image is of Baby A (which we will be calling Sweet Pea). The second u/s image is of Baby B (which we will be calling Little Bean). The final u/s is of the two sacs side by side.
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