Weekend Road Trip Recap

We did it and all survived in one piece! The night before we left, Sam and Anna had a crummy sleep night (it's like they knew we were getting up early and needed quality sleep to get through the weekend's events) and so much coffee was guzzled en route to keep us alert enough to drive and manage babies. Sam and Anna weren't the ones drinking coffee, but they were pretty alert anyway. I am still amazed at how little they slept while laying in one boring place with the same stuff to look at for hours. They did both sleep through the ceremony once they could be in our arms once we got there. We left right after dinner (it was a casual wedding held at the home of the bride and groom and so dinner was more picnic style- think graduation/birthday party-like) since Sam and Anna were getting cranky, needed their medicine and it was starting to get past their bedtime. We were pretty tired too and enjoyed the excuse.

Overnight at the hotel went pretty well. Sam and Anna actually slept better than they had the night before, and stuck to their usual nighttime routine even though they were together in the co-sleeper. When my husband got up to feed Sam his one middle-of-the-night feeding (which we have no intentions of trying to get him to drop at this point, since how much the babies are eating has been a concern lately), he said Sam had unswaddled his arms and was hitting Anna in the head. Although she was making noises, she slept through it all.

The drive back had some good moments and not-so-good moments. Giving them their reflux medicine while driving pretty much stunk. Since it HAS to be given 30 minutes before they eat, we ended up stopping at a very little town in which the only fast food restaurant was a Dairy Queen. A Dairy Queen that we quickly discovered had only 10 tables in it... and the 9 occupied tables all stopped their conversations while we were there to stare at us. I'm sure we were quite the sight- toting two crying babies, trying to mix medicine, draw it up in syringes and squirt it into their mouths.

When you have two babies, it becomes pretty apparent that there's a lacking of gender equity in changing table locations too. Why don't men's restrooms have a changing table where ever a woman's restroom has them? Picture this: my husband and I each have a crying baby in our arms. I take one in, change them, then return to our table (that still has the syringes and medicine sitting out on because no one has a free arm to put it all away). We do the baby shuffle and switch babies. Then I walk back into the restroom and change the other. We could have escaped out of there much faster if my husband didn't have to sit and wait for me to change both babies. I think I'll have to start taking note of where the good changing table locations are. Note to self: Wendy's in Chippewa Falls: no changing table (since I had no choice but to change Sam's stinky diaper on the floor, I think I'll remember that one.)

The good part of the return drive: the babies were so worn out from their unusual weekend that they actually slept for almost 3 hours on the way back. We even ended up having to wake them up once we got home after we had unloaded and unpacked everything else. They haven't had a midday nap that long for over a month. I hope they remember how to nap longer than 45 minutes again tomorrow!

Replacing anxiety with excitement

So I think my anxiety from the E2 suppression drama has finally worn down enough that I have gotten back to a state of excited anticipation for the egg retrieval and transfer. It also helps that it is only a week or so away! And to think that if I wasn't delayed the ER might have been right now, today- wow.

Today was my u/s after 4 days of stims. I finally got to ask the RE my questions, and he reassured me about all of them. It sounds like things are going well- Two days ago they could see 10 follicles, today he saw 16 ranging in size from 7-13 mm (most were around 10-11). My E2 went up to 195. He said everything was great, so I am continuing the same amounts of Follistim and Lupron. It really reassures me that things are moving along exactly as they should if the amounts don't have to be adjusted.

The shots have gotten really old, really fast and I am ready to be done with that part though. It's funny- the Lupron shot itself hasn't been too bad, but the side effects afterwards really ramped up when I increased the dosage to 40 units daily. The side effects I have felt are: bloating, tiredness, trouble sleeping, hot flashes, headaches, mood swings, as well as itching and hotness at the injection site. The Follistim has been kind of the opposite: the shot hurts. (I totally understand why Follistim's nickname is FolliSTING) But the side effects aren't really that bad from it- bloating and that's about all. I'm already starting to feel my ovaries kickin' into high gear, so I'm a little scared about how it will feel later on this week (especially since I've only taken four days of Follistim so far). I think it is just about time to break out the elastic waistbands!

The drives to and from the RE have definitely gotten old too. Today I had to get up at 4:30 am (on a Sunday) to get to the RE's early this morning for my u/s and b/w. Jake and I hung out in Green Bay afterwards and went to the zoo so we wouldn't have to turn around and drive back right away. It was perfect weather for a day at the zoo. I will go back to the RE in two days on Tuesday for a u/s and b/w after six days of stims. My appointment couldn't be any later than 7:45 am that day since Dr. S needs to leave by 8 am to go to his other clinic. I guess I will have to leave our house at 5:45 am that day- ick. Good thing I don't have to go to work afterwards and I can come back and take a nice long nap. Until then, I hope my lovely follicle keep doing their thing: my current mantra is grow, follies, grow!

Feelin' it

Thankfully, the nausea side effects from the Norethi.ndrone have decreased. They are no longer at the gripping-a-bag-and-covering-my-mouth-willing-nothing-to-come-out level all day long. Mild nausea I can take.

Unfortunately, the Lupron side effects are happily taking their place. Last night I blew up at Jake for something minor- and I knew it was minor at the time, but couldn't help it. It just felt so darn good to be angry and get it out. Poor Jake.

Then today at school my two particular co-workers were up to their usual antics. (Side note: I don't understand how people that are rude, condescending, selfish, negative, close minded, controlling, and uncompromising can end up being kindergarten teachers- when the opposite traits are what should be modeled and taught to kindergartners!) I've been putting up with their stuff since September and I've just about had it. Usually I deal with the issues, brush them off and try to be professional in spite of their unprofessionalism- but today their usual bullshit almost drove me to the edge. I was filled with a uncommon rage that I couldn't shake until I vented it all out to (again, poor) Jake.

In the next three days I will be surrounded by my co-workers as we screen the incoming kindergarten students. I am a littler nervous about what shenanigans they might be up to... and about the rage I might not be able to stifle until later.

They might not know what hit them.

A preview of what's to come

Norethi.ndrone makes me nauseous. Incredibly nauseous, all day long. I almost made me throwing up on the bus the most memorable part of the zoo field trip today. A completely out-of-touch co-worker (who is aware of the IVF) told me with a smile, "welcome to being pregnant." Um, yeah. So I'm not, remember? And I don't have the guarantee of a baby at the end of this nausea. It really helped sink in the month of side effects I have ahead of me too. Oh boy.

Thank goodness school is almost over. I am ready to focus on me and this process- instead of pushing it aside to be a good teacher.

T-minus 22 hours until shot time!

Please also pray for my dear friend Carli and her husband Derek, who got a BFN on IVF #2 today. I am heartbroken for them and praying for their healing through this extremely difficult time.

Where to start?

Can just good news ever come out of an RE visit for us? I am starting to wonder about that...

Here's the summary of today: I am no longer a u/s virgin. Everything looked good on there... she said the lining is at 8.9 and I have one follicle that looked like had just released or was about to, so then we were on to the injection teaching. We left feeling pretty good about all of that- both of our stress levels were lower and things were good. I was rarin' to go with my 7 pm date with Lupron and a needle. We decided to stop by the good mall on our way back (1 hour away from us) while waiting to get a call about the progesterone results. I even got a cute new skirt (on sale originally $44 at Gap- bought for $20) as my treat o' the day.

Then the nurse called and guess what? I haven't O'd yet- so no Lupron tonight for me. I have to take Norethi.ndrone for a week to induce AF. (I'm not happy about that, b/c I know I would O and get AF on my own without drugs) But, I can start Lupron on Saturday instead. So it is only a 2 day delay.

My good mood instantly faded however- I know that this process is dependent on a lot of things happening just right- but darn it- something went wrong before we even got started! It was just another glaringly obvious reminder at how delinquent we are at makin' babies. I also know that that is only pushing it back two days, but see- I've spent a lot of mental effort preparing for this first injection happening tonight. Now I have two more days to agonize about it and now I have an added worry that I'm going to forget what she showed us. Plus- I'm not really looking forward to telling people, "thanks for asking how it went... I actually didn't get to do the shot yet...blah blah blah..."

On a positive note: Norethi.ndrone is not strictly an IF drug, so it was covered by my insurance. Which was excellent considering we had to pay everything for the RE's end of the IVF today (we are satelliting the monitoring locally- so that isn't paid for yet). Ouch! It's hard to suddenly have $11,692 less.

Earlier in the week I added a running total on the side of my blog that shows about how much moola has been devoted to this endeavor so far. I was amazed that before paying for the IVF we were already at over $10,000. Wow. After paying the IVF fee today- we're at over $22,000- and we're not done yet. It's hard to believe that much has almost literally flown out our window in three years. It's also hard to believe that we don't eat ramen for dinner every night... or live in a cardboard box down by the river. (We're not rich, people- I am a teacher and Jake is a writer- two occupations notorious for being low-paying jobs.)

Eyes on the goal, Katie, eyes on the goal.

And I might still need refills???

(Edited to add two new drugs to the mix)

Needles and more needles

So the ever important box of our med cache arrived yesterday. A total of 143 needles in the box, which seemed like a lot to me. But the amount of actual meds didn't seem like too much, honestly. I guess I expected more than that. I think the red bio hazard box is the most fun part of the whole collection. Pictures coming soon. :)

On to needles of a different kind...

Went to the plan B acupuncture place this afternoon. It was enlightening, and interesting... and well, weird and slightly uncomfortable. This lady is SO much more knowledgeable about IF and IVF than the other acupuncture guy. She even had a book, "Acupuncture and IVF" sitting out that she told me to page through while she was going over my paperwork. It was tabbed and highlighted so that reassured me a lot. She asked me what I knew about acupuncture and I mentioned reading 'The Infertility Cure." She turned around and pointed it out on her bookshelf. Having both books gave her major brownie points. She put in a total of 17 needles, gave me some Chinese herbs to take, and I will be going back about two times a week for now. After our RE appointment on June 4th and I start injections- we'll have a new plan. So going back on Tuesday and next Friday for now. Total cost for today: $75 for initial consult and first session, $15 for herbs=$90. Each session going forward will be $50.

I'm somewhat skeptical about the extent that this will help me... but at this point, if someone told me bungee jumping would improve the odds of the IVF working- I'd get past my fear of heights and do it. Research says acupuncture ups our % chance of success. So we'll see.

Ah, the things we never realized we'd do in pursuit of a baby.

Utterly Overwhelmed- and I'm not even doing injections yet

So the med cache will be delivered tomorrow, to Jake's work. He decided it would be much easier than with the prying eyes and wagging tongues at my work (all those female teachers that love to gossip and create drama, you know?) and I agree, completely. $2,050 later, we are the proud parents of lots of needles. Let the bills begin. There was a little bit of stress involved with returning the company's call though, but it wasn't that bad. The good news is that the amount is $450 less than our RE's estimate sheet! Wonderful! I hope all the estimates are more than the actual costs.

Side note- I did tell Jake that we could charge all the IVF costs to his Cabe.la's card since the money is in our savings and we could just take it out when the statements arrive. I think he's already fantasizing what he can buy with all his points. Hey- if not a baby, at least something good will come out of this, I guess. My vote is for a canoe.

While in the midst of trying to get a delivery date/time set for our meds and playing phone tag, my plan B acupuncture place called and said they had a cancellation for Friday- and I could have the time slot if I wanted. I said yes!(since plan A was a letdown) and then went about trying to figure out how to leave work at 12:30 on Friday. Thank goodness for student teachers is all I have to say about that.

I'm also getting into the thick of end-of-school work: like testing, report cards, record keeping, attempting to get some things ready for fall, figuring out a game plan for packing up and closing out my room... so my mind is spinning and thinking about a gazillion things at once.

*big breath* Man, a nice 3 day weekend will be a great escape.