My self-esteem

Needles- smeedles. Total count is now up to 70 (acupuncture) needles, and injections start in two days! Acupuncture continues to go well. On Friday I had major back pain and so the acu-lady (as I tend to refer to her, rather than Cheryl) put in two more and wham! Back pain gone in less than 24 hours. As someone who deals with back pain on an almost regular basis, that is simply awesome. Today I even managed to fall asleep with 17 needles poking into my skin- something she told me would probably happen, but I doubted.

I also need to brag a little bit, non-IF related. A little background: Students at our school take a computerized test called MAPS three times a year. We finished testing last week and got the results. My class did a phenomenal job on both the reading and the math tests. I am so proud of them! After looking at the other 6 kindergarten classes- no class even comes close to our averages, gains since the last test in January, or top scores. Over half of my class scored in the 90%tile or higher for reading. I don't believe in merit pay for teachers- but if we had it, I would definitely have some extra money coming my way! It is good to feel validated that I can do something well, if getting PG isn't.

Thanks to IF, my self-esteem tends to often take a hit. (Why can't my body overcome Jake's sperm issues? Why can't I get PG? Why does everyone else get what I can't have? Do I not deserve to be a mom? are questions in the back of my mind that I can supress sometimes better than others) I am glad that I have two new reasons this week to lift myself up.

Needles and more needles

So the ever important box of our med cache arrived yesterday. A total of 143 needles in the box, which seemed like a lot to me. But the amount of actual meds didn't seem like too much, honestly. I guess I expected more than that. I think the red bio hazard box is the most fun part of the whole collection. Pictures coming soon. :)

On to needles of a different kind...

Went to the plan B acupuncture place this afternoon. It was enlightening, and interesting... and well, weird and slightly uncomfortable. This lady is SO much more knowledgeable about IF and IVF than the other acupuncture guy. She even had a book, "Acupuncture and IVF" sitting out that she told me to page through while she was going over my paperwork. It was tabbed and highlighted so that reassured me a lot. She asked me what I knew about acupuncture and I mentioned reading 'The Infertility Cure." She turned around and pointed it out on her bookshelf. Having both books gave her major brownie points. She put in a total of 17 needles, gave me some Chinese herbs to take, and I will be going back about two times a week for now. After our RE appointment on June 4th and I start injections- we'll have a new plan. So going back on Tuesday and next Friday for now. Total cost for today: $75 for initial consult and first session, $15 for herbs=$90. Each session going forward will be $50.

I'm somewhat skeptical about the extent that this will help me... but at this point, if someone told me bungee jumping would improve the odds of the IVF working- I'd get past my fear of heights and do it. Research says acupuncture ups our % chance of success. So we'll see.

Ah, the things we never realized we'd do in pursuit of a baby.

Utterly Overwhelmed- and I'm not even doing injections yet

So the med cache will be delivered tomorrow, to Jake's work. He decided it would be much easier than with the prying eyes and wagging tongues at my work (all those female teachers that love to gossip and create drama, you know?) and I agree, completely. $2,050 later, we are the proud parents of lots of needles. Let the bills begin. There was a little bit of stress involved with returning the company's call though, but it wasn't that bad. The good news is that the amount is $450 less than our RE's estimate sheet! Wonderful! I hope all the estimates are more than the actual costs.

Side note- I did tell Jake that we could charge all the IVF costs to his Cabe.la's card since the money is in our savings and we could just take it out when the statements arrive. I think he's already fantasizing what he can buy with all his points. Hey- if not a baby, at least something good will come out of this, I guess. My vote is for a canoe.

While in the midst of trying to get a delivery date/time set for our meds and playing phone tag, my plan B acupuncture place called and said they had a cancellation for Friday- and I could have the time slot if I wanted. I said yes!(since plan A was a letdown) and then went about trying to figure out how to leave work at 12:30 on Friday. Thank goodness for student teachers is all I have to say about that.

I'm also getting into the thick of end-of-school work: like testing, report cards, record keeping, attempting to get some things ready for fall, figuring out a game plan for packing up and closing out my room... so my mind is spinning and thinking about a gazillion things at once.

*big breath* Man, a nice 3 day weekend will be a great escape.

Weekend Update

My toes

My spa weekend was fantastic (Thanks Sara!). My first pedicure was a success- but I think I like doing my own toes more (the perfectionist in me, I guess). We spent some time in the outside hot tub at night and that was great. The hot stone massage was just what the doctor ordered. :) It is too bad that things like that can't be an every-other-day experience. We are already planning our next girls spa event to happen hopefully soon!

Now onto acupuncture. My acupuncture appointment this morning was...

A let-down.

Realistically, I know that he does not specialize in acupuncture for fertility- but it felt like I was explaining way too much to him about how our IVF process will go. (He did say he has worked with people that have undergone IVF before) He thinks I should get acupuncture three times right before the retrieval and three times afterwards and that's it. Judging from what I've read about other IFer's experiences, that doesn't seem like enough. There really isn't any other option for acupuncture in our area- so now I don't know what to do. Is something better than nothing and should I go ahead with his plan? Should I just forget it? I just don't know what to do.

This afternoon I have my lovely annual exam and communicable disease tests- which no one looks forward to. I'm hoping that I can at least get a sense of finally getting underway after that.

The end of June seems so far away, but yet I know it is closer than it feels.

Adult Onset ADD

I think I may have developed adult onset ADD. This must be the reason why I feel the need to change my background more than once a week. Perhaps that could explain why I have my computer on my lap whenever I am "watching" tv too. It is the reason I relate so well to my kindergartners, I think. It is also the reason why this post is kind of random:

I finally got enough nerve to call and get an acupuncture appointment. I figure that if it ups our odds of a successful IVF even just a little, then it is worth it; money be damned. A few hours later I have my first round of tests for IVF (to make sure I am disease-free) that has been rescheduled 3 times. That NEEDS to happen on Monday, or our IVF timeline that hasn't even gotten underway yet will be already pushed back. At least I get to miss that day of school which coincidentally happens to be the day of our farm field trip.

Gee, darn. I have to miss that? I'll try to hide my giddiness. I. Hate. Going. On. The. Farm. Field. Trip. And now I don't have to!

Oh, and seriously considering buying this for our future child: