Could It Be???

Thanks to a little method called pick up/put down from the Baby Whisperer- could it be that we've pretty much tamed the 30 to 45 minute nap intruder???

For the last few days we've been implementing the pu/pd method. Pacifier replacement and soothing while not picking Sam and Anna up (like with patting or shhing) have not worked for us. I'm not sure if I'm really doing it by the books, but this is my interpretation: As usual, Sam and Anna initially get put down drowsy but awake after watching for their sleepy cues (Which used to be really easy to spot- a yawn or 2 and there you go. Now it's a little more subtle with slowing down movements and staring into space) They don't ever usually cry when being put down.

Then, when they wake and start crying in the middle of the nap, I give it 5 minutes before I walk in the room to pick them up- waking the other one be damned. This used to be my crutch: I didn't want one to wake the other baby and multiply my problem so I would sweep in and carry the crying baby out of the room immediately. Bad momma=reinforcing bad habits since my little ones love to nap on momma. (With only one lap and two babies, this was definitely a problem) And guess what? After waking their sibling the first few times, now it doesn't seem to wake the other one- or if it does, their brother/sister can go back to sleep on their own without my help.

(And oh, if you are wondering how I know they need a longer nap than 45 minutes? Because 1.) I've read in several places that they need more 2.) They are more fussy when they get lots of short naps 3.) I can always eventually get them drowsy and back to sleep by holding them when they've calmed down)

After waiting 5 minutes I pick up the crying offender and soothe them until they are drowsy but awake again, then gently place them back in their cribs (I needed to tell myself NO EXCEPTIONS so I could consistently reinforce this, as much as I enjoy a nap or two on mom every once in a while). If they cry again after being put down, I leave the room and wait 5 minutes, then repeat. I don't consider this crying-it-out, because I'm not letting them cry indefinitely. I am giving them a short opportunity to soothe themselves first before I offer assistance. If I don't give them opportunities to do that, how will they learn how to?

Anna used to sometimes fall back asleep on her own during naps if I was already soothing Sam and didn't get in there right away. So that was a good hint to me that this would at least probably work with her. Sam never did and always needed me to hold him until he was completely asleep if he woke mid-nap. But now, both babies have been consistently taking their approximately 1 1/2 hour naps in their cribs 3 times a day with a shorter catnap before bed.

Sam almost always makes it through a nap without crying (although I do think he wakes a little in the middle but then goes back to sleep). Anna will now only cry for maybe 2 minutes a couple of times before she's back asleep on her own. Ahhh- progress. I am hopeful that the 2 minutes of crying will fade away too.

I am a firm believer that with babies, you have to be willing to go through a little rough patch while helping them get better at whatever it is you are shooting for. You can't always just do what works or the easiest approach right now- you've gotta keep your eye on the bigger picture. Case in point: at my mom group, there's a mom with a 10 month old who only naps on her mom, and wakes several times a night. The reason for the first one? She was never willing to try to teach her another way, because it "works" for her little girl. The reason for the second one? She lets her breastfed daughter snack throughout the night for a few minutes whenever she wakes because it is the "easiest way to get her back to sleep." If she's okay with that, to each their own. However, I know I want my children to have more quality sleep and help them have good, healthy sleep habits. I doubt there are adults who still nap on mom or snack multiple times a night- so at some point, the cycle has to be broken.

Did Sam and Anna get a little more overtired the first few times we tried the pick up/ put down method? Yes. They didn't get back to sleep after they woke and spent a hour waking and crying off and on. BUT my babies are much better rested overall only a few days after that rough patch. And that will continue down the road.