So my shower is on Sunday. Overall, I am just not looking forward to it. Once an infertile, always an infertile. I haven't been to a shower (outside of small at-work shindigs) since I had to painfully host my SIL's shower after almost a year of TTC, for my nephew that was conceived the month we started TTC. Yes, that was January 2007- a damn long time ago. I just don't know if I know how to do the shower thing. I'm excited, over the moon, thrilled beyond words about our two babies, but I don't know how to play lighthearted baby games and gush over baby stuff. I don't want to be a poser- the joyfully pregnant lady who has no idea that other people struggle so much over trying to have a baby. I don't want to hurt the person in the crowd that I don't know is struggling with trying to get pregnant. I want to make it known how hard-fought this was- yet, I want to keep our very personal selves to our self. I don't want to hear the stupid comments while biting my tongue to keep from educating ignorant people.
But I want the stuff.
I want the stuff because one (of a long list) of my worries is how expensive two babies at the same time will be, and how little we have for them. We don't have the resources for lots of free hand-me-downs (my SIL is due in February, so there goes any opportunity for any stuff there). We don't have the $ resources to buy everything new. So hopefully we will be toting home lots of stuff on Sunday-otherwise, I am stressed to think about the alternative. If that makes me sound greedy- so be it. I don't need the prettiest stuff or the fanciest stuff- I just want everything that will make my babies the safest, happiest, most secure children possible(and the stuff that will help keep us sane- all for our babies health, of course).
9 comments:
I know what you mean about the baby shower... as excited as I would like to be for one, I feel like I will be faking a lot of my emotions and words!
As much as I adore these two babies and wouldn't replace it for anything, the anxiety I had when we figured it is twins kinda seems to be coming back a little bit... knowing that it is a b/g, sharing things is going to be difficult = more $!
One of my friends recommended this store: http://www.kidtokid.com... I visited it and it looks pretty cool. See if there is a store near you.
I'm praying for you, girl. I hope your shower goes really well and that you get lots of great stuff for the babies!
I know exactly where you are coming from. I haven't been to a shower in 4 1/2 years when I was coerced into hosting a double shower. It sucked. I cried.
I think that may be one of the reasons I have been so open (maybe too open!) about my infertility. I don't want someone who may be silently fighting their own infertility to think it "just happened" for me. And after how long it took, maybe I can show that it IS possible to achieve your dream.
Anyway, I hope you have fun at your shower :) you deserve to have a great time, don't feel guilty about that!
I don't love sharing my ENTIRE story with everyone, but if we start talking about babies I will mention that it took three and a half years of trying to get these two...just in case there are any in the crowd who are in the same boat!! :o)
And I totally know what you mean about wanting the stuff!!! I told my family that my Christmas list this year IS my registry!! With needing double of a lot of things it just gets so $$$$$$$$$$$!!! Not greedy...smart. :o)
I do hope that your shower ends up being enjoyable...and fun!!!
I hope you have a lovely shower and make out like a bandit with gifts. Your friends are lucky to have a friend who is caring and is worried about their feelings but try to enjoy your shower. I hope you can maybe share a little bit of how special these babies are so that anyone struggling can see there is light at the end of the tunnel, you just have two flashlights instead of one! You dont' sound greedy...you just sound like a teacher! :)
Oh, check out craigslist. They have so much good stuff on there that won't cost you an arm and a leg.
Maybe you could ask the nice people hosting the shower to cut out some/most/all of the goofy games? Those are the most personal parts of baby showers, and the things that draw attention to your belly, how many weeks, etc. But enjoy all the baby loot! Just think of how much stuff you won't have to buy thanks to the shower!
I hope the shower ends up going better than you expect. I completely understand the difficulty getting over shower apprehension and I think the IF struggle definitely makes our hearts more sensitive to other people's struggles. It makes us better people, I think. Here's hoping that you get tons and tons of great baby loot :)
I'll be thinking and praying for you. I hope it goes well on Sunday. Let us know!!
Hope it was everything you hoped it would be!
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