This Sibling Stuff

Sam and Anna have almost always gotten along well in the past.  Once we got down the "count to 3" and then later "count to 20" routine when they wanted the whatever the other had to play with, it has been close to smooth sailing since then as far as sibling interacting goes.

Sometimes having twins is awesome.  The special bond they have with only the other is apparent so frequently.  There was a stage when they did not like being apart, like when we had Mommy-Daughter trips to Target or Daddy-Son grocery store runs.  Ask either one who their best friend is, and each will reply with their twin's name.  While a small piece of me wishes that I could sometimes be the "best friend," I know how lucky they are to have the special bond they have as twins and that their bond with me is special and different too.

Sam and Anna are also very compassionate towards each other.  They kiss each other's injuries without prompting and ask if the injured is okay.  They help each other out all day long and more often than not use please and thank you towards each other without reminders.

But lately, the sibling stuff has been cranked up a notch.  They still have that special bond of course and pepper their conversations with compassion and manners (and a few words of twin-speak: words they both seem to understand but sound like made-up words to me) but these days the antagonizing is driving me nuts.  I see shades of my own relationship with my brother growing up mirrored in how Sam and Anna are acting towards each other lately.  That brothers-are-put-on-this-earth-to-annoy-and-tease sisters while sisters-are-put-on-this-earth-to-drive-brothers-crazy age old practice.  Ugh.

Sam kicks Anna just to annoy her when they are sitting at the breakfast bar (not playfully or trying to hurt her).

Anna pretends to eat Sam (as a wild thing or animal) joyfully even though he tells her to stop repeatedly as he gets upset.

Sam tries to chase Anna with the lawnmower while she shrieks and seeks refuge in my arms.

Anna takes a toy from Sam just because he has it and she doesn't want him to have it.

And the list goes on and on.

All totally normal behavior, I think, but it gets tiring and old fast.

I feel like we do everything to encourage the opposite and foster a positive sibling relationship:

We talk though their feelings and give them the words to successfully extinguish the unwanted behavior in the hopes that they learn how to do it on their own most of the time in the someday future.

We acknowledge, encourage and celebrate the great moments of twindom and siblinghood- working together, solving their problems with each other well and using kindness.

We give them opportunities to try to work things out on their own before rushing in and fixing it.

We provide and encourage time to be separate and do things on their own- that they both don't have to play the same thing at the same time, be in the same room at the same time, or interact with us as their parents at the same time.

I think we handling it just fine... I'm just wishing I didn't have 15 more year of this on the way!