So March It Is

February with its full moon this weekend passed with nada in the baby department. I'm still here at home, still in exponentially worse pain, and now gestating at over 36 weeks. Obviously they just aren't ready to come out yet. My body is definitely saying it has had enough, but my uterus isn't listening!

I had my weekly OB appointment and NST last Thursday, and things were same as usual. The babes did great on the NST (this time I drank OJ before the appointment so I wouldn't have to drink juice after a while there, and boy did that work!) My OB won't check my cervix yet, because even if I was dilated it wouldn't be any sort of true indicator of when I'd go into labor anyway. I could be at 1-2 cm for weeks, or go from 2-10 cm in the same day. So whatever. I also had my GBS test. My next appointment is on Friday. Maybe I'll get a cervix check then. He did say two weeks ago that he'd be okay with inducing/scheduling a c-section for 37 weeks-38 weeks, so I'm hoping that if I make it to Friday's appointment, I can say, "let's schedule that c-section for Tuesday March 9th!" (At 37 weeks, 2 days) I'm really trying to hold that date in my head so I know I only have 8 more days left, at the most. Believing that I could have more than that is almost too much for me to bear at this point. I'm in major pain here. This body was not made to carry 11-13 lbs of baby or gain 60+ lbs in a few short months and it reminds me of that every second of the day and night.

This weekend was a hard weekend for us in other ways, not pregnancy-related. We discovered my black lab Benelli has what appears to be a tumor in his mouth, on the top jaw, way in the back. He is 7 1/2 years old and had a cancerous tumor removed from his leg 3 years ago. We've always said he's a cancer survivor. It doesn't appear to be bothering him, so the earliest the vet can/will get him in is on Tuesday afternoon. If it is a tumor, we are thinking it isn't removable anyway because of the location. He's my first dog, he'll always be my first baby, and I'm not ready to lose him yet. As he's gotten older, I knew the day I'd have to say goodbye was getting closer and closer, but it just doesn't seem fair to have this happen at a time when my head and heart must be focused on other things. One of our baby daydreams while TTC was imagining our children trying to say his name and coming out with "Nelli." I could always picture toddlers trying to climb on top of him and pulling his tail, and Benelli taking it all like a champ. He has to stick around for a lot longer for those to happen. He'll always be my favorite dog and I love him so much. Please send good thoughts our way that we are wrong- that it is not a tumor and is something that is easily treatable.

I'll leave you with some pictures of my lovable, huggable dog that has been through so much with us in the past 7 years:

See how good he'd be with kids?

My Benelli

FMLA Leave Update

Three days into my not-working current life, it has been interesting (or really NOT interesting, depending on how you look at it, actually). In the summer when I have months off from school, the days pass by quickly because I enjoy the weather, go outside, go for long walks with my dogs, go garage saling, get involved in projects, etc. I can't do any of those things right now. (Granted, I still get bored during the summer too) I've found that I can only do one thing around the house right now (put in a load of laundry, get dressed, etc.) before my hips start hurting and I need to sit down. I'm afraid to start any projects because who knows what tomorrow will bring? One of these days tomorrow will bring babies and a whole new life without time for finishing projects!

I've also discovered that things don't just get increasingly more difficult each week, but exponentially worse. Week 35 is exponentially worse than week 34. I don't know HOW I worked last week. I thought this week would be like spring break- sleeping in, being well rested, relaxing, no more swollen feet because I wouldn't be standing all day... WRONG. I'm still in a lot of pain all the time that makes it very difficult to sleep, walk, move or sit. I am forever thankful that I was blessed to be able to experience pregnancy and I wouldn't give away the last 8-9 months for anything. But my body is getting close to done. I would love to go back a few months and stay that stage of pregnant forever. But this is hard. I don't think you can truly comprehend how hard unless you've been pregnant with twins in the third trimester. To try and put it in perspective, I've measured over full term for almost two months. If you've been pregnant before- think how you felt right before you delivered. That's how I've felt since the end of December.

I'm also spending a lot of time on the couch, because that is less painful than moving around. That means I'm spending more time on the computer... which can be a little dangerous for my bank account! On etsy I found the cutest things for my babies: I got two shirts that say "I was worth the wait" from FuzzyBabyDesigns after seeing something similar on my friend's blog.

And I got these from PickySticky on etsy, after seeing them on someone's blog too (I can't remember who!):

They are stickers you apply right to the onesie each month for pictures, up through the first year. I think they will be just adorable and make it easier to take pictures with two squirming babies without needing a piece of paper to try to position too.

In other less cheery news... after talking with the person in charge of FMLA and paychecks at my district, it does not look good that I will be able to stay out for the rest of the school year. My husband and I have yet to finalize our decision- but I think I will have to go back in mid May and work 3 weeks until the end of the school year. I'd have 12 total weeks off, but unless these babies come tomorrow, less than 12 weeks with them. I think it stinks and it makes me want to cry, but I think it will be the way things end up happening. My husband would use some of his leave during that time to stay home and take care of our little ones (my MIL volunteered to stay during that time and help out) so we wouldn't need daycare- but still. It royally stinks. I will update when the final decision is made.