Ho Hum

Still here, and getting very tired of spending the past two weeks creating a fantastic ass-shaped imprint on my couch (thanks for the vivid imagery, JB). Except for the December hospital drama, I have had the most boring twin pregnancy ever. I know, I know- I am not complaining about that: boring pregnancy=healthy babies. However, it is really starting to feel like they are never coming out and I'm going to be this huge gargantuan whale for the rest of my life. I figured out today that I now weigh 150% of what I weighed a year ago. I wistfully watched old ladies enjoying the weather on a walk today because they looked so darn mobile.

Irrational as it is, the infertile side of me won't truly believe that we have two babies until I see them in person and bring them home with us. Right now I read about everyone else's births and how close it seems everybody else is and I'm convinced they will all have their babies in their arms before I do (and yes, I mean all the lovely ladies I read on my blogroll. Your babies are so close, they feel even closer than mine). When I'm being super irrational, the thought crosses my mind that it's maybe all a farce anyway. I realize that most people wait 40 weeks (or more) to see their bundle of joy- but to me, I've waited 4 years for this (or my whole life). 11 more days seems like complete torture when I really thought they'd already be here by now.

On to the OB appointment and NST: Everything is good with the babies. The not-so-good news is that my doctor will be out of town next week, so that makes scheduling an induction or a c-section for next week a no-go. I have to wait until March 16th for that (38 weeks 2 days) if it comes to something that has to be scheduled. The other side of that is if I go into labor from this Monday until next Monday, my doctor will not be delivering my children. Interestingly- when I was processing this news and starting to get upset (not outwardly upset though), our little girl's heartrate shot up really high. Once I calmed down, it dropped again.

For now, my schedule remains ridiculously open- with no plans at all, in the event that the babies decide to make their grand debut. I'm not holding my breath- I'm very suspicious that they'd stay in there until they were 18, if I let them. Imagine how cramped the space would be then.

So March It Is

February with its full moon this weekend passed with nada in the baby department. I'm still here at home, still in exponentially worse pain, and now gestating at over 36 weeks. Obviously they just aren't ready to come out yet. My body is definitely saying it has had enough, but my uterus isn't listening!

I had my weekly OB appointment and NST last Thursday, and things were same as usual. The babes did great on the NST (this time I drank OJ before the appointment so I wouldn't have to drink juice after a while there, and boy did that work!) My OB won't check my cervix yet, because even if I was dilated it wouldn't be any sort of true indicator of when I'd go into labor anyway. I could be at 1-2 cm for weeks, or go from 2-10 cm in the same day. So whatever. I also had my GBS test. My next appointment is on Friday. Maybe I'll get a cervix check then. He did say two weeks ago that he'd be okay with inducing/scheduling a c-section for 37 weeks-38 weeks, so I'm hoping that if I make it to Friday's appointment, I can say, "let's schedule that c-section for Tuesday March 9th!" (At 37 weeks, 2 days) I'm really trying to hold that date in my head so I know I only have 8 more days left, at the most. Believing that I could have more than that is almost too much for me to bear at this point. I'm in major pain here. This body was not made to carry 11-13 lbs of baby or gain 60+ lbs in a few short months and it reminds me of that every second of the day and night.

This weekend was a hard weekend for us in other ways, not pregnancy-related. We discovered my black lab Benelli has what appears to be a tumor in his mouth, on the top jaw, way in the back. He is 7 1/2 years old and had a cancerous tumor removed from his leg 3 years ago. We've always said he's a cancer survivor. It doesn't appear to be bothering him, so the earliest the vet can/will get him in is on Tuesday afternoon. If it is a tumor, we are thinking it isn't removable anyway because of the location. He's my first dog, he'll always be my first baby, and I'm not ready to lose him yet. As he's gotten older, I knew the day I'd have to say goodbye was getting closer and closer, but it just doesn't seem fair to have this happen at a time when my head and heart must be focused on other things. One of our baby daydreams while TTC was imagining our children trying to say his name and coming out with "Nelli." I could always picture toddlers trying to climb on top of him and pulling his tail, and Benelli taking it all like a champ. He has to stick around for a lot longer for those to happen. He'll always be my favorite dog and I love him so much. Please send good thoughts our way that we are wrong- that it is not a tumor and is something that is easily treatable.

I'll leave you with some pictures of my lovable, huggable dog that has been through so much with us in the past 7 years:

See how good he'd be with kids?

My Benelli

A Day of Lasts

Yesterday was my last day at work for a very long time. I'm used to leaving my room for a few months in the summer, but not used to turning my room and my students over to another person. It definitely felt weird to put away my picture frames, change my screen saver (I'm guessing the sub won't want to look at my babies' u/s images) and tiddy up like I clean my house for a guest to visit.

I'm glad that I was able to do those things though, and prepare my students a little. I think it would have been a lot harder for both my students and I if I suddenly was gone without warning. I had to make several promises of visits with the babies and several hugs- one of my kindergartners cried. Awww. I'm such a work-a-holic that it is going to be hard to stay mostly disconnected to my students' progress and learning. I've worked so hard up until this point to get them where they are- I really hope they don't regress with a different teacher.

So many people asked me if I was excited to be done- and I think it just hasn't sunk in yet. Maybe after Monday and some rest it will seem more real.

Yesterday was also our last u/s and appointment with the perinatologist- unless there are problems. Basically, except for the contractions at the end of December, I've been a pretty boring, textbook twin pregnancy, which is fantastic! Everything continues to be just fine. We didn't get any good pictures, because their heads are so low in my pelvis and turned towards my spine that we couldn't see their precious faces. Ready for exit! Now we just need to wait to see the real thing at this point! He didn't measure my cervix because he said it really didn't matter at this point. If I go into labor they wouldn't attempt to stop it. Our little girl Sweet Pea was 5 lbs and Little Bean was 5 lbs 1 oz. He said they were small for a singleton at this point, but large for twins. Over 10 lbs of baby in there- no wonder every part of my body is aching under the strain.

We also had a NST, which was also just fine. Next NST and OB appointment is on Thursday! I'm beginning to wonder if they will try to come out on their own... or if other measures will need to be taken. Now that I'm done with work, I don't really want to sit around for three weeks and wait until mid-March to deliver. I might take my OB's offer to induce at 37 weeks instead of waiting til 38 weeks if it comes to that.

For the record, these are some dates that I think would make great birth days: February 28th (Lately I've been secretly telling them that is when it is okay to come out), March 6th, or March 9th. Here's the story about March 9th- my class is visiting the hospital in the morning and my hospital plays the baby music for babies that were just born. How cute would it be for the music to play twice while my class is on their field trip and they'd know it was my babies???