Dog Update

Where does the time go when you have twins? I know I am spending more time awake, so I should have enough time to get basic things done, right? I have about 6 blog posts I have swimming around in my head, but something always seems to come up that leaves these posts on the back burner. Sometimes the babies keep me on my toes all day long, with hardly a spare second to eat or go to the bathroom. Some days, our feedings and nap times go extremely well- like they are so far today- so I can afford myself the luxury of reading blogs or making a post of my own. (I'm so far behind commenting, and for that, I'm sorry. I do read them all though!)

For today, those 6 other post ideas are going to have to wait some more. Today I have something more important to blog about.

Last month I wrote this post about my dog. We had discovered that Benelli had a mass in his mouth on the upper jaw, near the back. We took him to the vet and found out that it was indeed, a tumor. I explained that he would need to be put under to remove the tumor to analyze it and find out what we were dealing with in this post. I mentioned that it would cost around $700, when it fact it was close to $1000. All this happened when I was about 36 weeks pregnant and ready to deliver any day. We decided to wait until the twins arrived to make the appointment to make sure his surgery wasn't scheduled to be while we were at the hospital for a few days. Benelli had the surgery last week. We got a phone call about the results yesterday. On my husband's birthday.

It was not a good birthday present.

Benelli's tumor is cancerous, and is in the bone (they took a fragment from his jaw bone to check). Basically, there is nothing we can do to completely remove the cancer this time. (About 2 years ago, Benelli had a cancerous tumor on a leg that we had successfully removed) The vet had removed as much of it as possible last week, but is certain that it will grow back. She told my husband that we could have a few months, or maybe a year before a serious decision would need to be made because it is a fairly aggressive type of cancer. On top of that, Benelli's toenails have been separating from the quicks and coming off. This has been really bothering him. We got the results back from that as well- and were told that his immune system is basically rejecting his toenails. My poor dog is in rough shape.

I'm barely holding it together- and honestly, not letting myself think about it as much as possible. I mentally packed it away in a box for right now because if I let myself truly think about it, I couldn't function enough for my children. Gone are the days where I can selfishly go cry in my room for a few hours- there are mouths to feed about every 3 hours, and diapers to change.

Benelli was my first pet. My first baby. The first living thing that I took care of, nurtured, and loved. It is so unfair that my children won't be old enough to remember him and love him like I do. I am devastated.

Please pray that we get as long as possible to take our dog for walks, give him hugs, and enjoy his presence.

However, right now a baby began crying and wants to be fed, so I have to put this back in my mental box and close the lid, for now.