Psychic Predictions Are Like Crack

I am a type A personality. I am a planner. I am goal driven. Everything that comes with IF goes against the very essence of my personality.

This is the way it was supposed to go: First baby: boy, born in April 2007, which would have given me a perfect amount of time to use up the sick days I had accumulated and take me on maternity leave right through to the summer. I was okay with one month earlier or later than that... b/c I knew that you didn't always get PG right away and I thought I was being realistic. Ha- I was SO naive. We even started "trying" in April 2006 so that I had three months to get there. Second and final baby: Girl born in spring 2010 so that she would graduate from high school in 2018, exactly 30 years after me (it fascinated me that my mother graduated exactly 30 years before me in 1968 and I wanted to continue that). Now obviously, all my well-laid plans are long gone- like a fart in the wind.

So now I have come to terms that I have no real control over any part of conception. It hasn't stopped me from doing whatever I can to know more about the "when" though. Hence the psychic predictions. Last June after receiving the devastating news from the RE that the only recommendation for us was IVF with ICSI, and a quick thought about our bank accounts brought the brutal realization that IVF was as realistic an option in the near future as becoming an astronaut and walking on Mars- I learned about some baby psychics through a forum I lurked on at the time. I wanted answers. I wanted hope. So I contacted them.

Not being satisfied with just one, I contacted all four of them. Three gave very similar predictions: all three pretty much conceive/BFP fall 2008. Great I thought. Renewed hope. This can happen on its own (it only takes one little guy), and that isn't that far away. Well you are probably figuring it out by now that those predictions were BUNK. I held out hope that the final prediction "April conceive/find out or birth but leaning towards conceive/find out 2009" would work out. April seemed so far away at the time, but it was better than nothing. Guess what?-I know now that conceive/BFP in April is BUNK too. But I hold out hope that April birth is spot on, because if the IVF is successful- the EDD would be in April. Recently that psychic had a free reading giveaway. I sent a request, needing a little reassurance that April was in fact still in the cards. And I'm a sucker for these baby predictions. She sent back this, "They show me a GIRL and they tell me JUNE so this is either birth month, conceive month or the month you find out in." Um, kay. Well- what happened to April? And June isn't even a possibility for conceive/find out because I will be on suppressing meds for the IVF! I know, I know- I should have let sleeping dogs lie. So I contact her again asking what's up with that??? and she says, "because you had already received a reading with your child to come first, they automatically go with the next child after and provide that connection... I am still trying to figure out why they do that, but it does happen that way."

In the past three years I have disproven wishing on a shooting star, fortune cookies, wishing on wishbones, and making a wish when blowing out candles. Is it asking too much to still believe in psychics??? I guess so.

Good lord. I am so done with baby psychics.

But I did ask Santa to bring 3 BFP's for my chat group, and he delivered. I also asked the Easter bunny for 5 BFP's by Easter, and I got that too. So psychics may be out, but Santa and the Easter bunny... I still believe in those.

And please, do not send the people in the white coats to my house. I'm not telling you where I live anyway, so there.