You are forewarned, this isn't a pretty post. But I needed to vent a little- if you don't like it, then don't read it (or comment).
I am SO sick of people not understanding that a twin/multiple pregnancy is different. (I know they won't unless they walk in my shoes, but I'm going to vent anyway)
I am sick of my mother trying to treat our pregnancy the same as my brother's (they just had #2 today) to try to be fair (but this is our first and there's two in there and we went through hell to get here and we won't have any more!) Fair doesn't always mean equal.
I am so sick of my co-workers thinking and talking behind my back that I'm making too big of a deal about taking it easy and being too cautious. I'm still teaching at 34 weeks and that's a pretty big feat, I think! I don't complain about how I can't stand longer than 15 minutes without shooting pain in my hips, or how I can't sleep, or how swollen my feet are, or any other daily pain I endure while working. I am sick of them thinking that I should be as mobile as a singleton pregnancy at 34 weeks, even though I've been measuring over 40 weeks since the end of December. I want to tell them: "You try being full term for two months and see how that feels while having twice the hormones and twice the energy sap going into creating two living things!" I am so sick of the jealousy some of them have because a few other people I work with are treating this as a little more special than a typical pregnancy. I know even if I stopped working today without going into labor, there would be lots of comments made about that too.
Urgh! I am just so OVER it.
Thanks for letting me vent. :)
10 comments:
Sorry that they don't get it. I can't believe you're still working at 34 weeks, and at the kind of job you have. It's not like you're just sitting at a desk all day, able to hop up to the bathroom whenever you need to.
And it really sucks that your own Mom doesn't get how meaningful this pregnancy is. After IF, to finally at long last have twins, and then to make it to 34 weeks - that's an incredible achievement. Totally not the same as a second baby from the other sibling. I'm glad my Mom seems to realize that, since my brother had #3 (all extremely easy conceptions and pregnancies) last fall. Ah well, your babies will be the newest and cutest grandkids. And you and your DH will never forget just how miraculous they both are.
You are more than entitled to vent! I am not even planning on telling my family I'm pregnant until we are in the second trimester. I am not being mean or purposely withholding (well, yes I am) but I have SO many hillbilly relatives who have popped out baby after baby and who happily let other relatives raise their kids, I just know that mine will not be treated as anything special. And I deserve something special! It took a hell of a lot more than a couple of wine coolers to get me knocked up!
As for coworkers...well, screw 'em. Remember you can stop working any time you need to and not feel too guilty because your sanity and health, and the babies', are more important things than jealous teachers' comments.
Stay sane, lady. You are almost there.
Katie-Vent away! You are doing amazingly well and I cannot believe that you are still teaching. You made it to your goal of 34 weeks and anything more is almost undescribable in the strength and determination on your part. True sisu! Your coworkers just plain suck for the one's that have no compassion. I am happy that you do have some backing and that there are some who are treating this as a special pregnancy-AS IT IS on multiple levels.
But my heart really goes out to you with how you are experiencing this PG with your mom. I don't know her, but I struggle to understand how she does not embrace your miracle. Twins are super special! And your journey to conceive them is huge.
I am just glad that you and Jake are able to see the beauty and wonder in what is to come! This part will soon come to an end, so embrace each other and take it all in! HUGS!
Vent away! I was actually just thinking earlier today when I was reading your blog "Holy crap, I can't believe she's made it past 34 weeks with twins and she's still working full-time!"
My thoughts may have continued on somewhere along the lines of "she is insane!!" But I thought it in a very admiring way:) lol.
PLEASE VENT MORE OFTEN!!! Because I am sitting here reading this post saying "AMEN GIRL...PREACH IT SISTER!!!!!!!!!"
I've already told you you're my hero...I have no idea how you have made it this far working...seriously...give me some phone numbers of the gals at your work and I will TELL them a thing or two!!! (Since I'm not brave enough to say it to the face of my coworkers who are saying the same things...lol)
I'm so sorry about your mom...its hard to not have that full support from her during this totally amazing (and trying) time.
Soon you won't be working...you'll be staring into the faces of two little miracles...and who CARES what everyone else thinks...(easier said than done...I know I know...)hang in there girl!!!
You vent all you want! I totally know what you mean about people thinking a single/double pg is the same. It's so not!! When moms ask me how I am doing, I always respond with "remember when you were at term and you just wanted your baby out because you are so uncomfortable? That's me since January and for another 5-9 weeks."
Another thing that gets me is when people comment on child rearing being the same with twins. My sister said something about me getting a couple of bouncy chairs, saying I can put the baby in the chair on the counter while I do chores like wash dishes. I said "or maybe take care of the other baby?" She said "oh yeah, that too".
Some people don't get it. You are doing everything you can for these babies, who gives a crap what others have to say. They are your babies not theirs!
Pooh on them! Don't let them get you down....you're doing great to even till be at work! Keep up the good attitude and keep the goal in mind....twins. :)
Thinking of you!
Kitty
I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with all of this negativity. Don't let these people spoil these last few weeks you have left being pregnant. It IS all about you right now and you are doing an AWESOME job!!! You are going to make one amazing mommy. :-) Praying for you and thinking about you all the time...
That must be so frustrating! I have so much admiration for you that you are working and carrying two babies! I had so much pain in my hips during pregnancy and I was only carrying a small singleton (5 lbs at birth) so I can't even begin to imagine how much pain and discomfort you're in! You are superwoman in my book. I've never been a teacher but when I worked retail and had to be on my feet all the time (and wasn't pregnant) I came home exhausted everyday. I can't imagine what it would be like to be carrying around two babies and taking care of dozens of kindergartners. I hate how ignorant some people are and how catty women can get. You are amazing!! Keep doing what you're doing and although it's hard, try not to give anyone the time of day that would mistreat you with their words or actions. You deserve so much more.
Thanks for that! I found your blog through Hope in Virginia...I will start following! I am having boy/girl twins also...28 weeks.
Good luck with everything...and btw...we picked out the same car seats...SO cute!
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