After 8 days of stims, we are cleared for take off! Today my E2 jumped way up to 1711, just like my RE had said it would (silly me for not trusting him that everything was "looking good"). My progesterone was 1.49 so I am very, very close. Tonight are my last stomach injections- no more Lupron and Follistim for me after that, and that's a cause for celebration in itself. My follies were all about 17-18 mm- well, the ones Dr. S measured. Jake thinks he stopped at measuring 14 follicles because he didn't feel like doing anymore, and there were many more slightly smaller ones on the screen that he didn't measure. Dr. S just said, "and there's multiple smaller ones, and we'll leave it at that." So I decided once and for all, that I am done worrying about the number and size of follicles I've got brewin'. (This does not, in any way, mean that I cannot be worried about the number of eggs retreived or fertilized however. I still reserve the right to stress about that.)
That means that we will trigger tomorrow evening, and the retrieval will be bright and early on Sunday morning. And when I say bright and early I mean- be there at 7 am, leave our house at 5 am. To celebrate the 4th of July, I get my first shot-free day in a long, long time (and hopefully for a long long time afterwards). And I get to go to bed early. Wohoo.
My stomach is ready for a break. I feel lucky that the largest bruises I got were the size of a pea, but just about every follistim shot left me with a purple mark. My stomach has purple polka dots. I'm not sure I'm quite ready to hand over the needle reigns to Jake though, or my rear. I was unaware that the nurse would mark a big X in a rectangle with permanent marker on my upper backside today to help Jake find the spot. This presented a little problem.
See, I had a massage appointment today at 2 pm. How to explain the large X and not die from embarrassment? I tried a large band aid, but that didn't work because you could still see the X through the gauze. So I gave up trying to hide it. While I was face down, she said, "did you go to the doctor today?" I told her, "yes, I have to administer an injection tomorrow." Then she asked if they used permanent marker because she wanted to make sure the massage oil wouldn't take it off. It took off a little, but you can still see it. I'm just glad I was face down so she could see my how embarrassed I felt or how red my face was. Hmmm. How ironic and fitting that embarrassed has the words bare ass in it.
Showing posts with label E2. Show all posts
Showing posts with label E2. Show all posts
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
After 6 days of stims...
Things I think are looking good. I lost count of the number of follicles- most were about 14 mm and Dr. S didn't even bother to measure all the smaller ones- just said "and there's a lot a smaller follicles as well." My E2 level was 450 (which to me seems kind of low- but the nurse said it was "rising nicely" from the last E2 level). They also did a progesterone check to see how close I was to triggering, but it was still low. So I will be going back Thursday for more lovely b/w and u/s probing. Before getting the b/w results, Dr. S said he thought we would do the ER on Saturday or Sunday. I'm personally thinking it will be Sunday or even Monday.
I have mixed feelings about doing the retrieval on Saturday (with it being the 4th of July and all). On the one side, it would be really neat to be able to say we knew our child was conceived on that holiday and sooner is always better when it means less needle poking. On the other side, I would like to enjoy the holiday- see fireworks, go to a friend's party, go to a nearby city's festival and I couldn't do that if the ER fell on that day. And, if we triggered on Friday (for a Sunday ER) Saturday would be a shot-free day! It would be so much easier to enjoy the festivities without worrying about that.
I am really trying to put my trust in the doctor and nurses at the clinic. I am a little disappointed that my number of follicles isn't closer to 20- because I know this will be our only IVF, no matter what the outcome is. I am hoping for lots of frosties so that we can do FET's. I have always been an overachiever, so I naturally want my ovaries to follow that as well. I know 16ish is a lot better than 3 or another number less than 16, but I still worry. I am also trying to remember quality is better than quantity. I worry about the E2 level, because it seems too low for 6 days of stims. But I try to convince myself that it has got to be good, because my drug amounts are not being changed (still 250 Follistim and 2.5 Lupron) and they would be adjusted if something needed to be tweaked.
On to another topic: my mom. I have mentioned before how she has failed to realize the level of support I need from her as we go through this exceptionally difficult time. Last week my parents went camping, to a place they go every year. This year they decided to go for a full week instead of an extended weekend. I was really hurt and bothered by the fact that my mom knew the suppression was taking longer and that if by Wednesday I had not been suppressed, I would be delayed until the next cycle- but still went to a place where she could not call me to find out the news or provide adequate support. They got home on Sunday. She did not call until 2 pm on Monday. She then spent the first 5 minutes of the phone call telling about their week. I had decided that I would honestly tell her how hurt I was and that I needed more support from her. So I did. I thought I got my message across and I think she understood where I was coming from. She felt badly, and I thought putting it out there helped.
Then I called her after I got the b/w information yesterday to tell her the latest update and that we were potentially looking at a ER for this weekend. Guess what? My parents are going for an extended camping trip this weekend too. She said they are going to leave Thursday morning and come back Monday. She made a point of saying that she's never gotten cell reception from where they are camping, so she is pretty sure she won't be able to call. (never mind that if they drove 20 minutes down the road, I am pretty sure she could get reception!) I was so flabbergasted, I was speechless. Since my next appointment is Thursday morning, that means she won't even know when I am actually having the egg retrieval. She won't even be able to call afterwards to see how it went.
For crying out loud! If SHE was having minor surgery this weekend- I KNOW I would make sure to call right afterwards to see how it went. I've never been under anesthesia or had an IV- so wouldn't YOU think my mother should be around to call???
I thought what I said to her on the phone the other day got through to her. It obviously did not. So I didn't even try to bring it up again after she told me they would be gone this weekend too. What's the point to put myself out there if it isn't going to change anything? I am still hurt and it is causing me stress at a time when I need to eliminate as much stress as possible. So right after I hung up, I called and made an appointment for a massage tomorrow to make myself better and to relieve some of the stress she has caused me. I swear, my mother has not earned any brownie points this month- or earned a Mother-of-the-Year award at all.
I have mixed feelings about doing the retrieval on Saturday (with it being the 4th of July and all). On the one side, it would be really neat to be able to say we knew our child was conceived on that holiday and sooner is always better when it means less needle poking. On the other side, I would like to enjoy the holiday- see fireworks, go to a friend's party, go to a nearby city's festival and I couldn't do that if the ER fell on that day. And, if we triggered on Friday (for a Sunday ER) Saturday would be a shot-free day! It would be so much easier to enjoy the festivities without worrying about that.
I am really trying to put my trust in the doctor and nurses at the clinic. I am a little disappointed that my number of follicles isn't closer to 20- because I know this will be our only IVF, no matter what the outcome is. I am hoping for lots of frosties so that we can do FET's. I have always been an overachiever, so I naturally want my ovaries to follow that as well. I know 16ish is a lot better than 3 or another number less than 16, but I still worry. I am also trying to remember quality is better than quantity. I worry about the E2 level, because it seems too low for 6 days of stims. But I try to convince myself that it has got to be good, because my drug amounts are not being changed (still 250 Follistim and 2.5 Lupron) and they would be adjusted if something needed to be tweaked.
On to another topic: my mom. I have mentioned before how she has failed to realize the level of support I need from her as we go through this exceptionally difficult time. Last week my parents went camping, to a place they go every year. This year they decided to go for a full week instead of an extended weekend. I was really hurt and bothered by the fact that my mom knew the suppression was taking longer and that if by Wednesday I had not been suppressed, I would be delayed until the next cycle- but still went to a place where she could not call me to find out the news or provide adequate support. They got home on Sunday. She did not call until 2 pm on Monday. She then spent the first 5 minutes of the phone call telling about their week. I had decided that I would honestly tell her how hurt I was and that I needed more support from her. So I did. I thought I got my message across and I think she understood where I was coming from. She felt badly, and I thought putting it out there helped.
Then I called her after I got the b/w information yesterday to tell her the latest update and that we were potentially looking at a ER for this weekend. Guess what? My parents are going for an extended camping trip this weekend too. She said they are going to leave Thursday morning and come back Monday. She made a point of saying that she's never gotten cell reception from where they are camping, so she is pretty sure she won't be able to call. (never mind that if they drove 20 minutes down the road, I am pretty sure she could get reception!) I was so flabbergasted, I was speechless. Since my next appointment is Thursday morning, that means she won't even know when I am actually having the egg retrieval. She won't even be able to call afterwards to see how it went.
For crying out loud! If SHE was having minor surgery this weekend- I KNOW I would make sure to call right afterwards to see how it went. I've never been under anesthesia or had an IV- so wouldn't YOU think my mother should be around to call???
I thought what I said to her on the phone the other day got through to her. It obviously did not. So I didn't even try to bring it up again after she told me they would be gone this weekend too. What's the point to put myself out there if it isn't going to change anything? I am still hurt and it is causing me stress at a time when I need to eliminate as much stress as possible. So right after I hung up, I called and made an appointment for a massage tomorrow to make myself better and to relieve some of the stress she has caused me. I swear, my mother has not earned any brownie points this month- or earned a Mother-of-the-Year award at all.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Wohoo!!!
I PASSED!
My E2 level plummeted to 30.2 today so we are cleared to start Follistim tonight!
I am beyond thrilled and without words to describe how ecstatic I am.
This and this might help you understand how I feel right now.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the prayers and good wishes sent our way. I cannot truly convey how touched I am.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Meltdown
I had my first (and let's hope last) major meltdown for this IVF cycle yesterday. Yes, I know the E2 level dropped and this is much better than increasing or remaining around the same. But the point remains that it did not drop enough. I will have to ride this same 1-day roller coaster again on Wednesday. It is unbelievable how much more difficult driving 2 hours for just a little needle prick that takes five minutes then driving back 2 hours all before noon and waiting for a call that may or may not ruin my day is than I expected. It is an understatement to say that this has been a very rough week and I'm beyond ready for good news.
The stress that this IVF is putting me through is indescribable. IVF by itself when things are going as planned is stressful in its own right. 40 units of Lupron daily for a week is no picnic- the s/e are ridiculous. Add that on top of the drive that I have to take every other day. Add that on top of the constant stream of not-so-good news that I get after the 4 hour long drive. Add that on top of no insurance coverage and our ever dwindling financial status. Add that on top of a less than supportive mother who just said "I'm sorry" after hearing yesterday the level hadn't dropped enough again and then launched into the fishing report from their vacation. And finally, add that on top of the thought that if, IF we get the news we want to hear tomorrow- I have weeks more to go through this- because in the IVF world, my "IVF cycle" hasn't really even been considered started yet, until I begin the stim shots.
I kind of feel cheated, that this too, robbed me of the happy anticipation of finally getting to do something that may result in a pregnancy. I feel like I've paid my dues with IF. Nothing has ever gone well in three years of dealing with this. The worst case scenario has presented itself almost every time. I hope things start turning around before the ER. Frankly, I hope we get to the ER point, because now it doesn't seem as much like a sure thing as before. Unfortunately, a rocky beginning to IVF doesn't mean that I got it all out of the way and the rest will be smooth sailing.
I do try to stay positive. I do try to keep my faith strong. I do listen to relaxation music. I do try to do things that help get my mind off of the IVF and do things that I enjoy. Believe me, I am trying everything in my power to make this more tolerable and get through each day. If you have any other suggestions, please feel free to share.
Please, pretty please pray for us that the E2 level is below 40 tomorrow. And if you don't mind, add in an extra prayer for my sanity to stick around too. Thank you for any prayers and good thoughts you send our way.
The stress that this IVF is putting me through is indescribable. IVF by itself when things are going as planned is stressful in its own right. 40 units of Lupron daily for a week is no picnic- the s/e are ridiculous. Add that on top of the drive that I have to take every other day. Add that on top of the constant stream of not-so-good news that I get after the 4 hour long drive. Add that on top of no insurance coverage and our ever dwindling financial status. Add that on top of a less than supportive mother who just said "I'm sorry" after hearing yesterday the level hadn't dropped enough again and then launched into the fishing report from their vacation. And finally, add that on top of the thought that if, IF we get the news we want to hear tomorrow- I have weeks more to go through this- because in the IVF world, my "IVF cycle" hasn't really even been considered started yet, until I begin the stim shots.
I kind of feel cheated, that this too, robbed me of the happy anticipation of finally getting to do something that may result in a pregnancy. I feel like I've paid my dues with IF. Nothing has ever gone well in three years of dealing with this. The worst case scenario has presented itself almost every time. I hope things start turning around before the ER. Frankly, I hope we get to the ER point, because now it doesn't seem as much like a sure thing as before. Unfortunately, a rocky beginning to IVF doesn't mean that I got it all out of the way and the rest will be smooth sailing.
I do try to stay positive. I do try to keep my faith strong. I do listen to relaxation music. I do try to do things that help get my mind off of the IVF and do things that I enjoy. Believe me, I am trying everything in my power to make this more tolerable and get through each day. If you have any other suggestions, please feel free to share.
Please, pretty please pray for us that the E2 level is below 40 tomorrow. And if you don't mind, add in an extra prayer for my sanity to stick around too. Thank you for any prayers and good thoughts you send our way.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
Our record continues...
... so our record stands: no good news from any appointment regarding our fertility and chance at conceiving a biological child.
My E2 level today was 169. An INCREASE from Wednesday's 124. The nurse said a flare up can happen sometimes after increasing the Lupron dosage.
Apparently my E2 levels (without meds) have always been a little high- the highest before this cycle was 104. According to the nurse, that isn't really horrible. (the good news, I guess) She also said there were a few other women at the clinic with elevated day 3 E2 B/W right now. Apparently I would need levels near 1,000 to be going through early menopause.
So the plan for this weekend is more Lupron at 40 units daily. I go back for more B/W on Monday. If my E2 is still high (above 40) I get one more chance- and I'll go back on Wednesday to repeat the E2 B/W.
(the not-so-good-news) If I don't make the cutoff on Wednesday, I'm screwed. I stop the Lupron and wait for my next cycle to start to try again. So there's the plan.
Right now my stomach hurts. And I'm really sad. Our anniversary is on Sunday- which is already tainted by Father's Day and the 1 year anniversary of my ex-best friend who now has a baby. My parents are going camping out of town for a week on Sunday- and it doesn't even seem to bother my mom that she's not going to be able to hear what's going on next week. My happy anticipation of IVF is long gone. That biological child seems even more far away than ever (if that is possible)... This sucks.
My E2 level today was 169. An INCREASE from Wednesday's 124. The nurse said a flare up can happen sometimes after increasing the Lupron dosage.
Apparently my E2 levels (without meds) have always been a little high- the highest before this cycle was 104. According to the nurse, that isn't really horrible. (the good news, I guess) She also said there were a few other women at the clinic with elevated day 3 E2 B/W right now. Apparently I would need levels near 1,000 to be going through early menopause.
So the plan for this weekend is more Lupron at 40 units daily. I go back for more B/W on Monday. If my E2 is still high (above 40) I get one more chance- and I'll go back on Wednesday to repeat the E2 B/W.
(the not-so-good-news) If I don't make the cutoff on Wednesday, I'm screwed. I stop the Lupron and wait for my next cycle to start to try again. So there's the plan.
Right now my stomach hurts. And I'm really sad. Our anniversary is on Sunday- which is already tainted by Father's Day and the 1 year anniversary of my ex-best friend who now has a baby. My parents are going camping out of town for a week on Sunday- and it doesn't even seem to bother my mom that she's not going to be able to hear what's going on next week. My happy anticipation of IVF is long gone. That biological child seems even more far away than ever (if that is possible)... This sucks.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
SO upset
So yesterday I was mainly unhappy because of the delay, and because I had to increase the Lupron by so much that I was worried about the side effects... and maybe a little unhappy because I wanted everything to be "right." Silly me- if those were only the issues, I would be sitting good.
After consulting Dr. Google- I am now full of questions for my RE tomorrow and I am also extremely stressed, worried, and upset that we are doomed before we even had a chance. Here is what Dr. Google said:
Estradiol and Infertility
High estradiol levels can have an impact on your infertility. Elevated levels of estradiol tend to indicate a problem with ovarian reserve. In high amounts, estradiol can suppress the amount of FSH in your system. This can cause your Day 3 FSH test to be inaccurate. In many cases, a high estradiol level indicates a complication with FSH and ovarian reserve. This can lead to:
lower pregnancy rates
poor ovulation
poor response to ovulation-inducing fertility drugs
*poorer success rate with IVF*
And this (which is WITHOUT meds trying to suppress):
Day 3 Estradiol (E2)
average range 25-75 pg/ml
Levels on the lower end tend to be better for stimulating. Abnormally high levels on day 3 may indicate existence of a functional cyst or diminished ovarian reserve.
Remember my E2 was 124 yesterday on day 3... do we even stand a chance?
After consulting Dr. Google- I am now full of questions for my RE tomorrow and I am also extremely stressed, worried, and upset that we are doomed before we even had a chance. Here is what Dr. Google said:
Estradiol and Infertility
High estradiol levels can have an impact on your infertility. Elevated levels of estradiol tend to indicate a problem with ovarian reserve. In high amounts, estradiol can suppress the amount of FSH in your system. This can cause your Day 3 FSH test to be inaccurate. In many cases, a high estradiol level indicates a complication with FSH and ovarian reserve. This can lead to:
lower pregnancy rates
poor ovulation
poor response to ovulation-inducing fertility drugs
*poorer success rate with IVF*
And this (which is WITHOUT meds trying to suppress):
Day 3 Estradiol (E2)
average range 25-75 pg/ml
Levels on the lower end tend to be better for stimulating. Abnormally high levels on day 3 may indicate existence of a functional cyst or diminished ovarian reserve.
Remember my E2 was 124 yesterday on day 3... do we even stand a chance?
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