Getting rid of the bottles was an easy one for me. Although we didn't do it early, I was more than happy to say adios to our collection of bottles, nipples, drying racks and the hefty formula cost the week before Sam and Anna's one year old birthday. We had a long struggle with bottle feeding due to reflux, and I was eager to put that as far behind us as possible.
The remaining signs of Sam and Anna's babyhood have been a little harder to let go. Anna still uses her pacifier ("Nuk") while sleeping at home, albeit not at daycare. I know it is time to drop that habit, but I'm not up for the bad sleep that we'll inevitably get for a while to make it happen. It's crazy to me that Sam's been done with any form of pacifiers for over a year but she just keeps hanging on. I vow to not have a 2 year old with a pacifier, so that means I've got about 2 months left to get that thing out of our house.
Then there are the cups. I guess Sam and Anna don't use sippy cups at daycare anymore, they are just drinking out of regular cups. At home, we still get some droppage of cups at times, so that's not something I really want to do full-time here yet. We still use our space-saver high chairs too, while at daycare Sam and Anna have been sitting on real chairs for the past 4 months. I like the containment factor honestly. I know that when they are strapped in, I can usually get them to eat a little bit more before letting them go play again.
I have no plans on using toddler beds if I can help it either- and Sam and Anna still sleep in their sleep sacks in their cribs to make it happen. I'd rather buy twin beds this summer and skip the toddler bed step, but am I holding Sam and Anna back by keeping them in cribs for so long without pillows, blankets, etc.? My daycare provider keeps sending me links to toddler beds on craigslist so I've gotten the impression that she wants us to make the switch, although she hasn't actually said so, because then it will be easier for her while they are with her at daycare. She did mention once considering taking them out of their pack and plays during nap to see how they do, but she hasn't yet.
And then there's the potty training issue. Apparently Sam requested to sit on the toilet at daycare this week saying he had to poop. He wasn't successful, but then Anna of course wanted to sit there as well. This was the first time my children have sat on the potty. I'm not ready to potty train. Maybe my kids are, but I'm not. The news that Amazon is ending their nice diaper deal tomorrow is a good motivating factor, but I just don't want to tackle that times two yet.
Am I holding them back from the toddlers they are ready to be? Is it just that I don't want them to grow up faster than I am ready for? I prefer to think that it's no big deal, and the pressure I feel to be doing these things are just a product of our society's need to make kids grow up to fast. What's the harm in waiting a little longer for these things, especially since they are experiencing some of them, some of the time, for practice?
It's not like I treat them like babies in other ways. I think my children have high expectations set for them in other areas. They help take off their clothes (and in Anna's case, put them on too), as well as put them in the laundry basket on their own or put their outside clothing away in the right place. They are expected to clean up, and they have a good handle on sharing even if they don't always want to. They do puzzles with multiple pieces, and know some things that sometimes kindergartners (5-6 year olds) in my classes start the year not knowing.
In short, I guess I feel like we're doing just fine, even if my almost 2 year olds still sleep in cribs with sleep sacks (one with a pacifier), after drinking from sippy cups in high chairs, with no idea that they can wear something other than diapers if they go in the toilet like big kids. After all, it's not like they still drink from a bottle.
13 comments:
Our girls are still in their cribs. I'm in no hurry to take them out of their cribs--they're in sleep sacks too, and have never tried to climb out. Our pedi doesn't recommend pillows and blankets until three--I don't see how they'd stay on a pillow anyway---they roll all over the place.
Brynne still takes a bink. Argh! I don't know how to make her stop. She does alright without it during the day, but she really seems to need it to sleep. I, too, don't want to deal with the potential sleep issues that may ensue. Also. Confession. I sucked my thumb till I was in 3rd grade. I'm terrified that without the bink, she'll start sucking her thumb. It was such a hard habit for me to break. I figure that a bink won't do the harm a thumb will (teeth-wise) I had a terribe over-bite.
Here's another confession---we still give the girls a bottle at night *hangs head in shame*. They don't "need" the bottle---we just keep giving to them b/c as they drink it we read to them, and I know that I can get exactly one story read while they drink their milk. I can't get the timing right with a sippy. I don't think they really even need the milk at night--it's going to mess up potty training for sure, but it's just been our routine. It's hard for me to change routine.
So---I'm positive I'm holding our girls back. But, like you, I have high expectations of them in other areas. They pick up all their toys. They do tell me they need to sit on the potty (and are successful sometimes). They brush their teeth.
Oh---on potty training, Mandy at Twin Trials and Triumphs has two potty trained girls, and still has her girls in the crib. They just tell her when they need to go potty through the monitor. She's written about it a lot---tips, etc.
Oh my gosh, who cares about ANY of that?! You are not holding them back. Noah still sleeps in a crib in a sleepsack, he still drinks from sippy cups most of the time although he is perfectly capable of drinking from a normal cup and has been for many months now. He is also still in his high chair... I don't understand how any of these things could possibly be bad!!! They're toddlers, not preschoolers!!!
I think forcing potty training, taking away sippy cups, putting your kids in big kid beds, and taking them out of high chairs is forcing your kids to do things they don't need to do. Especially the crib thing - a lot of experts recommend kids staying in cribs until they're 3. I personally don't think it's very safe to give a young toddler the ability to move around the house on their own in the middle of the night when everyone is sleeping. I plan to keep Noah in his crib for quite some time.
The one thing I think you might want to do is have your kids regular sit on potties, even if they don't go. I just say this because I know of a few kids whose parents waited too long to try putting them on a potty and their kids REFUSE to sit on one and are terrified of it. I think it's good to get them used to it early on, otherwise you might end up with a 3 year old who still screams his head off if you try to put him on the potty (aka, my nephew).
Then again, other kids might have no issues with that. I just know I didn't want to deal with that. I actually make a lot of my parenting decisions by watching my brother and his wife and doing the OPPOSITE! lol ;)
My almost 3 year old still drinks from a bottle. And I'm not ashamed of it. She sleeps in a twin bed, regularly poops on the potty, drinks juice/water from a regular cup, cleans her room, throws her garbage away, recycles her raisin boxes, gets dressed, brushes her teeth, knows her ABC's, can count to 25 etc. She gets 2 bottles of milk a day. One in the morning when she gets up, and one right before bed. With all the other "growing up" she's done...if she wants to drink her milk from her bottle, I'll let her.
I don't mean to sound crass...but society rushes kids to grow up so fast, and it upsets me when people (not you particularly) judge a kid's development just because they take a bottle occasionally. I've resolved I won't push her to do things until she shows me signs that she's ready.
Sorry...the whole pushing kids to do things before they are ready issue gets to me.
(all that to say, I think you do a great job and shouldn't overthink any of those things:)
Since mine are younger I obviously don't have any suggestions. What I do know is that there are way too many expectations put on us as mothers. I constantly have to remind myself that I need to stop worrying about what others think I should be or shouldn't be doing. I need to just focus on going by Logan and Paige's cues, especially when it comes to potty training and such.
You are doing a GREAT job!! Your kids are smart, healthy and super cute! I say just move forward with the potty training and bed moving when they show signs that they're really ready and when YOU are ready. :-)
I think if you listen to your (excellent) Momma heart, you already know it's FINE not to be pushing these things. Your kids are doing outstanding developmentally in all areas, so what if they sit in high chairs? It would be one thing if you were "babying" them 24/7, but I don't think children not even/barely two who still drink out of sippy cups and sleep in cribs and aren't potty trained are being babies.
Within reason, I really wait for my kids to show me that they are ready for new things. Sometimes I have to push a bit (like at a year we took binkies to only bedtime/naptime/car rides) and that took a little gentle pushing/distracting, but not much. Both my kids still use binks at nights and naps and in the car. And mine are only a few weeks younger than yours!! We plan on taking the car ones away when we turn their carseats around at 2 years. But for nighttime??? Eek, I just don't know WHEN I'll be ready to fight that battle. Both my kids really like them at bedtime. And I like my kids sleeping! And I figure, right now, what's the harm? They won't go to college with them, that's for sure. And like Julia said I'd much rather have a binkie then a thumb sucking problem. My friend went through so much getting her son (who was 6 and getting made fun of in school, but still couldn't stop!) sucking his two fingers.
For the beds, my kids haven't even begun to show me they are ready for bigger beds. I know it. It has nothing to do with my emotional attachment to them being babies and in a crib, they just plain aren't ready, adn that's fine by me!
They can drink from open cups, and do at playgroup, but at home we use sippys. All the time. That way they can wander around and always have access to a drink without spill worries.
And potty training. Ugh. They are showing me signs...and I could be more productive in encouraging, but I just haven't been ready to go "full force" potty training yet...soon though....
I agree with one of the other posters that if the kids express interest in trying out the potty, to let them do it. It doesn't mean that you have to full on start potty training.
As for cribs and high chairs, I think it is totally your call. The kids will turn two in March and then a few more months will be the summer when you can have the time to establish new routines and expectations if you like. Keep safety in mind and I think you will make a change if you feel it was necessary sooner. Also, you seem to be using the high chairs as a way to not only encourage the kids to eat a little more, but to also teach them table manners with sitting with the family and enjoying conversations. It seems to slow down the zoom back into play.
Keep doing what is best for your family and don't let someone else push you with how they think you should parent. Everyone can have an opinion, but they should be respectful of your parenting practices, too.
I loved this post. It's not that I have any good advice, it's that I ask myself the same types of questions and I don't have any answers either. I just like knowing that I'm not the only mom asking these types of questions. Good luck and let us know what you decide!
You're doing just fine, no need to rush anything. If your pediatrician and your gut feeling say things are fine, then gently instruct your daycare provider that THIS is how things are and you are not to be pressured to change them.
FYI, Jackson is 16 months and still sleeps in a crib with a sleepsack, which we hope will continue until he's 2-3. His crib converts into a toddler bed, but we'd like to wait until he's potty training (to gain access to the bathroom to potty in the night or early morning). We also plan to teach him to call for Mommy and Daddy over the monitor instead of roaming around -- no coming out his room until morning time unless it's an emergency. And he still get a sippy of milk during story time before bed, although lately he's been refusing some or all of it. We let him (and our instincts) dictate when he's ready for the next thing, just like you are. Go with that!
You are absolutely NOT holding them back!! I guarantee most if not all your kinder students come to school on the first day with no bottles, no pacis, no diapers, no sippy in their backpack and having woken up in their big girl/boy bed!!
I believe society is the one who is putting these pressures on parents to have their kids weaned from the bottle on the day they turn one, potty trained at age 2 or before and in a toddler bed by age 2 or before. Believing that these things must happen at these appointed times (not saying you do believe this!) puts unnecessary pressure on mother and child and typically leaves everyone frustrated!!!
Kids will do things when THEY are ready (we can of course encourage our children to meet these milestones but NOT to the point of getting totally stressed out because they are two and still in a crib).
I have basically used that motto with LB since birth. She was swaddled way longer than she "should have been" (6 months), she wasn't weaned from the bottle until 14 months, she wasn't potty trained until just a week ago (2 years 8 months!) and...I do not plan to take her out of the crib until after she turns 3 and I am confident she understands that she STAYS IN the big girl bed until Mommy comes to get her in the morning. (I probably wouldn't sleep a wink if I knew LB could have the run of the house in the MOTN!! Just read my post from tonight! :) ) So far, NONE of these transitions we have concured thus far has been difficult or frustrating for either of us!
So, all that to say...do things on your own kids' timetable and all these transitions will go SO much smoother for Sam, Anna and you!
You are a super mother and it is very obvious that Sam and Anna are learning and are way ahead of the game as far as language and letter and number skills go. They are certinaly growing and developing appropriately and when they are ready they will give up these last pieces of babyhood...and most likely before they start Kinder! :)
My twins turn two in 2 weeks. Cribs, high chairs, sippy cups all the way. We "practice" real cups of water outside in the evenings. Occasionally we practice sitting at their kiddie table for snacks. I totally agree if they are stuck, they'll eat more and mine need to eat and also need to learn that we all sit down together until we all finish the meal! We are not holding them back! We are keeping the sanity! They are learning and growing in so many other ways, I believe there is no rush on these things!
I think that you are the mama, and if the timing doesn't seem right to you, then it's not the right! Our Pediatrician ( who we still LOVE) gave us fairly strict guidelines saying to stop swaddling at 3 months, no bottles at 14 months, in her own room at 6-8 months.....well when those times rolled around none of them seemed right....so we swaddled til 6 months, put her in her own room at 11 months and she is now 15 months and she still gets her night-time bottle. I trust my mommy clock and so far it's worked well. All this to say, mommy knows best :)
Wow, I could have written this post and have considered the basic topic for my own blog. My 22-month old boy and girl twins sleep in sleep sacks, in cribs, with pacifiers. We have introduced a potty seat but aren't really potty training yet. They still use sippy cups, eat in high chairs...all things I find myself questioning as well. Like you, I'm trying to follow my kids' lead while keeping my eye on what's "appropriate." I do fear holding them back or looking like a weirdo mommy who isn't on track, and I'm glad to know I'm not alone!
Post a Comment