Spilling the Beans Part 2

Ok, so now I finally have enough energy (after a two hour long nap) to tell a few more details about sharing The News at work. I knew that, although it is early, there was no way I could keep it a secret to anywhere close to 12 weeks because a.) the whole twins thing means that I'm pretty much showing already. (I have about 5 tops in my closet that are loose enough that you might not notice the bump) and b.) the other kindergarten teachers (minus the biggest witch of them all) knew we were doing IVF this summer, and I knew the second I walked down our wing it wouldn't take long before they would ask about how it went and there it would be all out in the open.

I had decided to tell my principal first before I even walked down the hall so that there was no way it got to her before I was able to tell her. When I first got there she was talking to someone. For hours I made many trips down to the office trying to catch her alone so I could chat with her. Someone was always talking with her- I swear I peeked into the office more than 10 times. So finally I gave up and told the secretary to call me when she was free.

Meanwhile, I told the three other kindergarten teachers I saw that day. I varied how I told each one of them, and honestly, they all had very appropriate responses. I did decide to add in the twins info, and some were more shocked than others. I don't really have any good comments to share from them, but I still have 3 more kindergarten teachers to tell. I am positive I'll get some good one-liners out of the biggest witch of all. Stay tuned for that. It will be interesting when everyone has to be back next week too (this week people decide to come in on their own time to set up).

Apparently my phone wasn't plugged in, so the secretary paged me on the intercom when the principal was available (way to continue the it's nothing important vibe, huh?) I told the principal and she hugged me (which was a surprise because she's not that touchy-feely and we are not that close). She also said something that has stuck with me- she said something like, " I know you've been trying for a long time." I wonder who that came from??? It sure wasn't me. Then she told me I should tell Sue, the secretary, myself, because she'd want to hear it from me, and proceeded to pull me over to her to tell right then and there. Now, I know I openly shared with the principal and the kindergarten teachers (mostly because I thought I had little choice)- but I sure wasn't comfortable making it widely known yet- and the secretary is the foolproof way to make that happen. Oh well. It is what it is. Right now I'm praying that both little ones are still growing strong, and that I don't have to "take back" the expecting twins part.

I thought it would feel really good to have it be out in the open. But I found that the more people that I told, the more uncomfortable I was about it. It was like I wanted to keep it as something extra-special that only Jake and I knew about among people we see day to day (since all our family lives in a different state). Telling people seems so normal, it almost feels like it takes away some of the astoundingly miraculous-ness we believe this is. I don't feel like a normal pregnant person yet. It still feels like what we have been blessed with is so precarious and could go away in an instant.

Our next u/s is tomorrow in less than 24 hours. It is not with the RE and it is at the hospital we plan on delivering at, so I'm a little nervous about how it is going to work. Jake saw a double rainbow on his way home from work today- I'm taking that as a sign that everything is just as it should be, and two babies are still growing strong. Maybe after the u/s I'll finally feel able to buy twin pregnancy books and I will be able to accept the reality of twins. I hope so.